The year 2016 has been an odd one. Ridiculous political decisions aside, it’s also the year that the habitual consumption of semen outside the bedroom seems to have become a thing that people actually do.
First we got wind of the semen cooking class, which we’re not sure if enough people ever signed up to to make it happen, and now we’ve got Metro reporting on the woman who swears by a daily jizzy smoothie as a way to keep her energy levels up. What’s the world coming to?
Twenty-nine-year-old Tracy Kiss insists that drinking a smoothie every day with a secret ingredient – a teaspoon of semen – has boosted both her immune system and her mood. And who am I to argue? I’ve certainly never tried it to compare and contrast results.
Tracy, a mother of two, isn’t actually in a relationship at the moment, but her selfless male best friend is interestingly more than happy to produce his for her to drink on a regular basis. What a hardship that must be for him.
And before you ask, yes she keeps tubs of it in the fridge along with her milk and veg. Let’s just hope it’s easy enough to differentiate from the tubs of yoghurt, eh?
Tracy, a personal trainer, mixes her smoothies with all sorts, and sometimes even drinks it ‘neat’ when she’s feeling extra bold. Oh lordy.
‘Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating,’ Tracy said. ‘If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something particularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat. Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually.’
Not to piss on Tracy’s parade or anything, but according to Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., FACS, the author of The Truth About Men and Sex and associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School, sperm isn’t especially regarded as a superfood in the health world.
‘Semen does contain protein, as well as sugars that act as an energy source that allows the sperm to swim,’ he says, adding: ‘however, I don’t think we’ll be seeing post-workout protein shakes based on semen anytime soon’. And that’s because its nutritional value just isn’t big enough.
He might be eating his words, now. I guess that’d be preferable to eating any other produce from his body, though.
This article was originally published on Cosmopolitan UK