Telling people how much money you make or the number of orgasms you had last night used to be considered inappropriate. But in today’s confessional society, we’re encouraged to spill – or even brag – about all the good things that happen to us.
Trouble is, this oversharing has given rise to a new level of envy. ‘Status is much more important than it used to be, and we’re way more competitive,’ says Dr Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me (Free Press). ‘People want others to know they’re living well. And since there’s more pressure than ever to keep up, hearing intimate details of someone’s life can make you feel envious.’
Adding to the problem is our heightened level of brand awareness. When people wear their financial prosperity on their sleeve (sometimes literally), you know how much their wardrobe cost without their telling you. And since no COSMO girl should ever feel inferior, we’ve asked experts to explain why this new breed of envy is so toxic – and how you can cope.
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Finally, since you know jealousy is a lousy feeling, don’t subject others to it. ‘You can share private details with close friends, but tell people things based on their own situations,’ says Klaus. For example, message your happily coupled-up best friend that your man dropped the L-bomb. Dying to tell someone about your recent promotion? Call and dish to your über-successful cousin. When someone feels insecure about the subject matter, they won’t feel envious. Also, try using a humble tone and complimenting the person you’re talking to. When telling a friend about a pricey new dress, mentioning that it will look great on her when she borrows it will leave her feeling good about herself… and happy for you.
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*Names have been changed
