Telling people how much money you make or the number of orgasms you had last night used to be considered inappropriate. But in today’s confessional society, we’re encouraged to spill – or even brag – about all the good things that happen to us.
Trouble is, this oversharing has given rise to a new level of envy. ‘Status is much more important than it used to be, and we’re way more competitive,’ says Dr Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me (Free Press). ‘People want others to know they’re living well. And since there’s more pressure than ever to keep up, hearing intimate details of someone’s life can make you feel envious.’
Adding to the problem is our heightened level of brand awareness. When people wear their financial prosperity on their sleeve (sometimes literally), you know how much their wardrobe cost without their telling you. And since no COSMO girl should ever feel inferior, we’ve asked experts to explain why this new breed of envy is so toxic – and how you can cope.
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No matter how adept you become at defusing envy-inducing situations, you’re still bound to get green-eyed once in a while. ‘The trick is to allow envy to motivate you to improve your life,’ says Dr Darlene Mininni, author of The Emotional Toolkit (St. Martin’s Griffin). Sick of listening to your friend gush about her amazing guy? Make a pact with yourself to go on a date a week until you meet someone you like.
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*Names have been changed
