Our self-help columnist Athena Laz is a licensed psychologist and the author of ‘You’ve Got This’. She works with men and women worldwide, helping them to release their fear and self-doubt so that they can move forward confidently in life. You can see her work here.
I just want to thank you for responding to me. My problem is that I feel like I’ve lost my inner power. I know that sounds strange but I’m just locked in so much fear at the moment that nothing is changing in my life. Can you help me out of this funk?
Take comfort in the fact that your inner power is waiting for you to claim it. You can begin by simply acknowledging that this may be true for you. Fear may whisper that this is not the case. I am suggesting that it is. No matter your fear, you have the power to move beyond it.
In my practice, I always ask my clients to tell me exactly where they find themselves in this current moment. It is unhelpful to pretend that a bad situation is good or that if you cover enough negativity with pleasantries that it will cease to be negative. Psychologically speaking, when you do this, all you do is lock yourself in repression and denial. So start by acknowledging what is and is not working for you. [You can listen to a free audio on this here]. Then take a look at the quality of your thoughts. Do you always think of the worst-case scenario or make mountains out of molehills? Most of the time fears are fuelled by common thinking errors. So if you can get a handle on the thoughts, you can get a handle on your fear because you can witness what your fear is motivated by.
Part of re-claiming your inner power also requires trusting that you can expand and move forward even when if it feels uncomfortable to do so. The instinct is to fall back into what feels familiar when you feel fearful, but familiarity is impeding your growth. You have to allow change and with it the discomfort that it brings. In this sense, discomfort is your liberator. You are being liberated from the old and discomfort is showing you the way forward. This feels counterintuitive but, in reality, you are actually expanding.
As with any process of change, it is always advised to gain support because moving beyond limiting patterns of self-belief requires persistence and awareness. Remember that you have the inner power to change anything that holds you back, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now.
If you have a question for Athena, e-mail or tweet her. You can follow Athena here and see more of her work at Athenalaz.com. You can also receive her free audio course, designed to help develop a healthy inner voice.