Our self-help columnist Athena Laz is a qualified psychologist and the creator of the online programme Own Your Inner Power. She works with women worldwide, helping them to reclaim their ability to feel good. You can see her work here.
I love your column so I thought I would write in. This year was a colossal disaster for me. It felt like I went from one bad situation to another. Work was bad. My relationship was rocky. My social life felt boring. A close family member of mine got very ill. Politics worldwide seemed to get to everybody. I feel hopeless and helpless. What can I do to set up a great 2019? Thanks, Tashniva.
It sounds like you’ve had a really tough year! Sometimes the most helpful thing to do is just to rest and then start again. You may feel helpless right now, like you have had no of control over your life with one situation after another being really hard. But in all times you have control over:
- How you feel
- How you react
- How you treat your body (self-care is an absolute must under stressful situations!).
- The thoughts you think
That means you aren’t helpless! You can choose to treat yourself well even in harsh circumstances, through cultivating more awareness and aligned action. Just remember that the act of surrender and self-compassion can, at times, be the most helpful course of action that you can take! In other words, be easy with yourself when life gets hard! Treat yourself well.
Then if you have some spare time focus on what did work for you in 2018.
What did your heart resonate with? What made you feel joyful, inspired, loved, supported? Then decide on what you can do to bring in more of what you enjoyed experiencing in 2019. Bestselling author Danielle LaPorte of the Desire Map, maintains that goal setting and New Year’s resolutions aren’t actually about getting the tangible things we think we want. LaPorte says that goal setting is actually all about how you want to feel in the process of getting to your goals. You can watch ou video interview here – in it Danielle shares some impactful insight. Lastly here are 5 more steps that you can take to help you have a great 2019:
5 Steps to Help You Create a Great 2019
- Take action on changing the things you have control over.
- Cultivate self-compassion.
- Dream big.
- Stay open.
- Take action on what brings you joy.