I got the Mirena (an intrauterine device and effective form of contraception) inserted about two months ago, and here’s what I think of the guy nestled away in the mouth of my womb (gross way of saying cervix, lol).
1 How hard it is to kick a habit
It’s been well over two months and most nights when I get into bed, I have a full-blown moment of panic where I’m like, ‘Dear God, I haven’t taken the Pill today!’ I then remember that I am no longer on the Pill and I get this crazy relieved feeling that I was able to afford and had access to such a badass form of contraception.
2 Spotting is a thing
My period packed up and left the building almost immediately, but that’s not to say I haven’t destroyed many a pair of lovely knickers since the ~*insertion*~. In fact, in the second month the spotting was so bad that my gynae had me come in again (I had gone for the mandatory checkup already) to make sure the Mirena was still in place. I had some thoughts on my drive to the appointment:
a) ‘If this has gone AWOL in my body, I will cry right there on my gynaecologist.’
b) ‘If it needs to be replaced, I literally cannot afford to get it done again. Also, it hurts so much that I’ll die.’
c) ‘BUT I DON’T WANNA GO BACK ON THE PILL.’
Turns out it was absolutely okay and still in place, and my endometrial lining was just shedding itself.
3 Pregnancy scares are no longer a thing
From now on, ‘pregnancy scare’ to me means seeing people I matriculated with on Facebook having babies on purpose. It’s liberating, comforting and altogether fabulous to not have to worry all the damn time.
4 The pain was absolutely worth it
As mentioned in section 2 subsection B, it f*ckin’ hurts getting an IUD inserted. This being said, I have not once thought, ‘God, I wouldn’t do that again.’ In fact, in the week after I got it done I told my girls, ‘Yes, it freaking hurt but I’d go through that pain every day for the rest of the week if it means I wouldn’t have to worry about unwanted pregnancies for the next five years.’
5 Poking your man’s peen should not be an actual concern
So many people put off getting the Mirena because they’re worried the ‘wire’ (which is actually more like a firm-ish piece of thread) is going to ravage the penises of those who enter. Sure, certain men might be able to feel the thread but a) it doesn’t hurt and b) you can simply go back to the gynae and they’ll tuck the thread away so that it’s not, you know, tickling your guy’s dick any more.
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