Let me start this article by stating for the record: I am generally a fan of Pete Davidson. I think he’s hilarious, and he’s also been through a lot of sh*t, so I am weirdly protective and want the best for him in all things even though I’ve never met him and chances are I never will. That said, he’s joked about some stuff he probably shouldn’t have joked about, so I went into his Netflix special, Pete Davidson: Alive From New York, pretty sceptical.
The 49-minute special is a pretty wild ride. Like, yes, I was chuckling almost the whole time, but there were low points, friends, and I’m here to tell you about them. Here’s every single emotion I went through while watching, with helpful lil timestamps so you can accurately gauge my horror or delight.
0:00 – Okay, so Pete starts the special by telling the story of how Louis C.K. tried to get him fired in his first year at SNL. Right off the bat, I’m intrigued. But obviously, considering Louis’ history of sexual assault, I’m wading into dangerous territory here.
5:52 – Pete goes on to talk about how good it felt to watch Louis fall from grace after he had plotted against his career. I mean, sure, I get it, but also, let’s maybeee not joke about something that was so traumatizing to the women Louis assaulted and harassed. Things are not looking great so far!
11:33 – I’ve officially entered the “Pete talking about his sex life” portion of the show, and he’s saying women need to tell the men they’re sleeping with how to make them finish. It does seem like he needs a little bit of an anatomy lesson re: women’s pleasure, so I’m concerned for any of his future partners, but I’m generally okay with this bit.
17:50 – Oh boy. I’ve arrived at the part of the special Netflix teased in the trailer, where Pete says gay guys get a pass for groping the women they’re friends with. This is 1) not true and 2) offensive. People were rightfully upset about it when the trailer dropped, but it does seem like Netflix edited that clip in a way that cut out some of the context. Still not cool though, Pete!
24:34 – Maybe the best part of the special is when Pete jokes that he doesn’t have Twitter because he’s not allowed on the internet. He and social media have a pretty complicated past, and I’m happy he acknowledged that.
25: 23 – Pete lives with his mom, and he jokingly calls her his roommate throughout the entire special. I love it. I stan it. Hi, Pete’s mom!
32:21 – Yep. I was waiting for this. The Ariana Grande bit. Pete starts by saying that if she can write songs about their relationship and open up about it on the cover of Vogue, he can make jokes about her. I think I might agree with him??? And that’s confusing to me??? As a woman, I hate it, but I have to admit I *did* chuckle a few times.
33:13 – Okay, the most moment of the whole thing is definitely when he calls out Ariana for how ‘tan’ she is, which drew a huge controversy back when that Vogue cover dropped. The internet called out the publication when the cover first dropped for allegedly darkening her skin.
40:54 – This special wouldn’t be complete if Pete didn’t make jokes about Staten Island, and thank god he delivers. Apparently, there is a park in Staten Island that was originally a literal garbage dump, and that’s everything I need to know.
43:04 – UGH, PETE. You had 49 minutes to not make a tasteless, lazy joke about starving kids. We were so close. SO CLOSE. FWIW, the reaction from the audience was… divided.
44:33 – This photo montage is a lovely way to end this special and the pic of him with Hillary Clinton will be my new iPhone wallpaper. No, I will not be taking questions at this time.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan US.
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