Jay-Z just got very real about cheating on his wife Beyoncé, opening up to T Magazine about what it’s like ‘seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused’ when you tell them about your infidelity.
Earlier this year, Beyoncé and Jay-Z sent fans into a frenzy when they both released albums – Lemonade and 4:44, respectively – which alluded to the rapper cheating on the singer.
Certain lyrics on Beyoncé’s Hold Up seemingly confirm her husband’s adultery (‘What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you / I smell your secrets and I’m not too perfect to ever feel this worthless’), while Jay-Z referenced it on the track 4:44 (‘And if my children knew, I don’t even know what I would do / If they ain’t look at me the same / I would prolly die with all the shame’).
When T executive editor Dean Baquet asked Jay-Z how he and Beyoncé first revealed to each other that they were making ‘very confessional, open albums’ about their relationship, he replied, ‘Again, it didn’t – it didn’t happen in that way. It happened – we were using our art almost like a therapy session. And we started making music together.
‘And then the music she was making at that time was further along. So her album came out as opposed to the joint album that we were working on. Um, we still have a lot of that music. And this is what it became. There was never a point where it was like, “I’m making this album.” I was right there the entire time.’
The rapper continued that though they were ‘both very, very uncomfortable’ reacting to the lyrics and message in parts of each other’s work, ‘the best place is right in the middle of the pain’.
‘And that’s where we were sitting. And it was uncomfortable. And we had a lot of conversations. You know. [I was] really proud of the music she made, and she was really proud of the art I released. And, you know, at the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another’s craft. I think she’s amazing.’
Jay-Z, who married Beyoncé in 2008, then went on to open up about his infidelity properly for the first time, touching on why he and Bey decided to work through their family troubles and reconcile, rather than split up.
‘You know, most people walk away,’ he began. ‘And the divorce rate is, like, 50% or something ’cause most people can’t see themselves. The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused, and then have to deal with yourself,’ he said. ‘So, you know, most people don’t want to do that. You don’t want to look inside yourself. And so you walk away.’
They welcomed their first child, Blue Ivy, in 2012 and twins, Rumi and Sir, this June.
Read the full interview here.
This post was originally published on Cosmopolitan.com/uk.