He described a time in his life where he was addicted to Xanax, trying to numb the feelings of shame he had while living a life that didn’t quite match up to what he’d grown up with.
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Newlyweds @justinbieber and @haileybieber are our March issue cover stars! Tap the link in our bio to read their full interview. Photographed by #AnnieLeibovitz, styled by @tonnegood, @karlawelchstylist and @michael_philouze, written by @robertjhaskell, Vogue, March 2019.
“I found myself doing things that I was so ashamed of, being super-promiscuous and stuff, and I think I used Xanax because I was so ashamed,” he said. “My mom always said to treat women with respect. For me that was always in my head while I was doing it, so I could never enjoy it. Drugs put a screen between me and what I was doing. It got pretty dark. I think there were times when my security was coming in late at night to check my pulse and see if I was still breathing.”
He talked about a detox he did back in 2014 at his then-pastor Carl Lentz’s house, and said that although he drinks alcohol in social settings now, he hasn’t had drugs since that detox five years ago. It makes his wife(!) really happy.
“I’m really proud of him. To do it without a program, and to stick with it without a sober coach or AA or classes—I think it’s extraordinary. He is, in ways, a walking miracle,” Hailey said during the interview.
That time of “promiscuity” he mentioned was a time when he said he had “a legitimate problem with sex.” He became celibate for over a year to try to get a handle on that problem, which is when he met Hailey.
“I wanted to rededicate myself to God in that way because I really felt it was better for the condition of my soul,” he said. “And I believe that God blessed me with Hailey as a result. There are perks. You get rewarded for good behaviour.”
This post originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com
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