Eliminated ‘The Bachelor SA’ contestant Jess C about why she thinks Marc isn’t really compassionate

‘I saw no compassion from him.’

jessica calder the bachelor sa

We are getting to the juicy bits of The Bachelor SA season 2, which means tons of tears, epic dates, and a few broken hearts along the way. Unfortunately in episode 8, it also meant that we had to say goodbye to one of our faves, Jessica Calder in a brutal 2-on-1 date.

Jess C is a Cape Town resident who is a patisserie chef and bakery owner. She loves sports, training and taking part in intense challenges.

We caught up with her after her final episode aired to find out what she had to say about Marc, the girls, and all the drama.

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My journey on The Bachelor has come to an end … I entered The Bachelor SA because I really want to find love. Yes it’s not the ‘normal’ way but it’s hard to meet people these days and I secretly fell for @nickbadger on The Bachelor Australia 🙂 When I entered, I knew my life would become public and some of my darkish secrets would come out, but I was ok with that, all these stories, adventures and memories are what have made me the person I am today. Going into the show my biggest fear was being in a house full of girls. I like my space and I’m not used to being around a lot of girls. Turns out that was the least of my worries, I made amazing friendships and memories that will last a life time. I entered the mansion with an open heart and an open mind and I wanted to give Marc and I a chance. The format of the show doesn't give you enough time to get to know someone, unless of course you are lucky enough to get a few 1 on 1 dates. … I did feel a growing friendship between Marc and I from the beginning so I stuck it out to see if there could be anything more. I guess we both felt the same and will remain friends #friendzone … Marc is a great guy, a good man .. that guy you would be happy to take home to meet mom and dad. Our time together didnt alow the rose within me to bloom fully and I had to accept that the love I had hoped for never dawned. This said I really wish Marc and whomever he chooses much love and happiness. I am so proud of myself for going into the show, it took me out of my comfort zone, I have grown and learned so much about myself in the process. I am still looking for love, that real head-over-heals kind of love. I know it’s out there … just sadly in self isolation! Thank you to everyone for the support. It’s been an incredible journey and it’s nice to know you all have my back. Have strength and cherish your loved ones through this trying period as we defeat Covid 19. • • • • • #yourbestself #capetownmag #southafrica #capetown #instagood #petitejoys #thisissouthafrica #yourstruly #girlsthatwander #motivation #inspiration #beautiful #nature #goals #lifestyleblog #lbloggers #cityofcapetown #southafricaza #me #happy #

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Here’s what she had to say:

∼ She was shocked that their date turned out to be a 2-on-1 ∼ 

Marc Buckner took both Jess C and Qiniso to a horse-riding farm for what they both believed was a 1-on-1 date and he revealed to be a 2-on-1, which meant that at the end of the date, one person had to go home. Through their conversations, Jess had spoken to Marc about how her ex-boyfriend had hurt her which made a bit reluctant to fall too quickly. Marc interpreted this as Jess not really being over her ex-boyfriend, and at the end of the date he decided to give a rose to Qiniso and Jess was sent home.

When asked if she was upset that her date turned out to be a 2-on-1, she said she was more surprised. She said she was so excited that she was finally getting her one-on-one, and then suddenly Qiniso was there. ‘I thought she was there to teach us how to horse ride. So it hadn’t even hit me what was going until he told us. The whole time I was in total shock,’ Jess said.

∼ She only really saw a friendship between her and Marc ∼ 

Jess strongly felt that a relationship can’t grow when there is nothing there. And even though she only really saw a friendship between the two of them from the beginning, she felt that it could grow into something more if they had more time. She said that even though during their times together, they had a good time and a lot of laughs, it wasn’t enough for them to really get to know each other and tell if there was anything more than friendship.

∼ She is 100% over her ex ∼ 

Marc claimed that he felt that Jess C wasn’t over her ex which made it difficult for the two of them to get close. Jess refuted this by saying it’s not true and that she’s been over her ex since the day they broke up. She said:

‘I am completely over of my ex. I was over him the day we broke up. Probably even before that because I knew it was coming. I just feel that these are things that we need to get over. I mean, I was hurt. It has nothing to do with me having feelings for my ex. It’s a feeling of being hurt and that feeling I had to get over. And I’m now over it. But it’s all part of our life lessons. And I’ve realized now what I won’t tolerate again. So just to clarify, I’m over my ex. He’s a terrible person, but I was just really hurt about what he did. He was someone who told me that he loved me, but then he went and did all the things that he did, and I didn’t think that someone would ever do that to me.’

∼ She thinks Marc doesn’t know what he’s looking for ∼ 

When asked how she feels about Marc now, she said she feels confused. She said from what she’s heard and from watching the show she doesn’t know who he’s interested in and what he’s looking for, ‘but I definitely know he likes girls that cry. So that’s definitely not me.’

Jess said that watching it back also made her think of Marc differently:

‘I think he’s reading things differently. And I don’t think that he has a lot of compassion, which is something that a lot of us girls want and need. And I mean, that just showed with what I had said I’ve been through. I saw no compassion from him. And, you know, that’s that is what I was trying to do. I was trying to show him a vulnerable side of me and see how he reacts with it. And I didn’t get much from it. ‘

∼ She wishes she got to say goodbye to the other girls ∼ 

Jess had to leave immediately after her date, so her goodbye to the other women had to be relayed through Qiniso, which resulted in lots of tears. She said that she wished she got a chance to say goodbye.

‘I do wish that I had time to say goodbye. I made some amazing friendships. Those girls are incredible. And I’m so amazed that I made these friendships because it’s hard for me to make friends with girls. And that was my biggest worry. So leaving the house and not being able to say goodbye wasn’t great. But I mean, I’m sure I’m going to see them at Women Tell All and after that. ‘

∼ If she could do it all again, she would strategise her time with Marc better ∼ 

She said that she wishes she could have planned the two minutes that she gets with Marc better. Saying that she wished she really opened up with him and allowed him to ask her anything. She said that you get so caught up in the moment and you are thinking a million things that you never get to say what is really important. But she should have just gone in and said, ‘this is me, like it or not, enjoy it.’

I don’t think I would do anything differently, I think maybe I would really take those two minutes that I have with Marc to really open up, you know, and just to be a chatterbox and just say, this is me, I’m an open book. Ask me anything. Because you don’t have time, you sort of thinking a million things. What can I tell him now? Should he know this? Should he not know this? But you should just go in and say, ‘this is me, like it or not, enjoy it.’

∼ Her top choices for Marc are Marisia and Rikki ∼ 

I would say Marisia and Rikki, I just feel like I can see there’s a connection between him and actually both of them. I mean, the kissing with Marisia is just, I didn’t think she had that side of her. She’s such an incredible woman, and she’s so quiet, soft and kind-hearted and I just want the best for her. And Rikki, the same I mean, she deserves love. She’s been through a lot in her life and I wanted to be happy.

∼ She hasn’t found love yet ∼ 

She said she’s still looking for the right person, but she believes that everything happens for a reason and when the time is right, her person would come along. She added that she might invest in some cats in the meantime. We feel you.

You can watch The Bachelor SA season 2 on DStv Catch Up.

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