And despite this, you still go back to the hair salon and go through the process of getting a weave put in, perfectly aware of the painful ordeal you’re about to experience…
1. When your weave and the cornrows beneath it are finally removed, and you gasp in horror or cry from laughter when you realise how nappy your natural hair looks.
2. And then you hastily look around the hair salon to make sure your ex or your ex’s new girl ain’t around to see you in your state of nappiness.
3. When you have to endure an exhausting combing session where you or your hair stylist attempts to remove what seems like hundreds of knots caused by the weave you no longer love at this very moment, as you sit through 30 minutes of having your hair yanked out your scalp.
4. When it’s time to face the creamy crack AKA relaxer, a chemical that’ll literally have the toughest thug weeping as your scalp erupts into what feels like actual flames.
5. When it’s time to get your hair blow-dried – and have your scalp and the back of your ears burnt at least three times in the process.
6. When it’s time to plait your hair into mini cornrows – and the hair stylist plaits them so tightly she leaves you with a temporary face lift.
7. When it’s time to pick a weave and you feel those payday digits slowly vanish from your bank account.
8. When your hairstylist sews in your weave tracks and continuously yanks your head back… Like, ‘Are you trying to break my neck?!’
9. Awww, it’s done! All that pain is finally over… Oh wait, that post-weave-application headache just kicked in. FML.
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