Missionary is a sexual staple for a reason: pretty easy access to vaginal sex, it’s ideal for kissing, and gives you superbly simple access to bum-grabbing. Is it the best position? Of course not. It’s tough to get enough clitoral stimulation, it’s easy to become a giant sweat napkin if your guy sweats a lot, and your hair is bound to get trampled. Here are some ways to make a classic go-to into something you’ll love every single time.
1 His peen is not the largest of the peens
No big deal dude. If he’s on top and you’re wishing he was a little deeper in, you can put a pillow under your bum so you’re higher up, allowing him to go deeper without you even having to awkwardly say, ‘I wish you could go in deeper’ and have his penis get sad about it.
2 He keeps pulling your hair, and not in a sexy way
Not on purpose of course, but if he’s holding himself up with his hands and your gorgeous mermaid hair is falling all over the place, his hands are bound to land there like a Twister bubble that ends up hurting you. I could just say something like, ‘Put it in a freaking ponytail,’ but also sometimes you get going and that’s just not that possible, but what you can do is sit up! Once you’re sitting up, in kind of a modified guy-on-top position, your hair will be down your back and his hands can go wherever they want (see: not accidentally ripping your hair out by the roots).
3 He’s dripping sweat all over you like a human tap
This one is more easily fixed than you’d think. Gently pull him down so his head goes past your neck and basically face-plants into the pillow next to where your head is laying (hello, makeshift towel). You’re still close, he’s still on top, and maybe his chest is still sweating all over you, but your eyes aren’t filled with his sweat which is A+ because ew.
4 Your clitoris feels like it’s never had less stimulation than it does right now
Obviously, you could reach down and get to it yourself, but instead of forcing yourself to work harder, have him angle his pelvis upward so his pelvic bone is rubbing up against your clitoris. Or, if you have a lot of faith in him and his upper body strength, have him lightly move his palm on top of your vagina applying gentle pulsing pressuring, so he’s directly and indirectly stimulating your clitoris while he’s penetrating you. That’s a lot better than ‘just masturbate’ am I right?
5 His peen is too big and it feels very aggressive TBH
Have him do a sort of modified push-up scenario where his arms are less bent so that he’s controlling the depth a little bit more. If he’s not totally up to the task there though, you can also have him lean back a little bit so he’s less ‘driving a nail into a wall’ and more gently easing into you from a different angle (like a car into a garage) that way. Also, sorry for comparing your vagina to a garage.
6 His peen is curved and hitting you in a way that is like, ‘Okay, please stop’
Porn star Chanel Preston previously told us that if his penis curves to the left or right, you can have him penetrate you from a push-up position, missionary style. Then choose which side to lean toward, depending on which way his penis curves. So basically, if he’s curved left, tip your pelvis a little more toward the right, and so on.
7 You feel pressured to keep looking at him during sex (because his face is right there) but it’s taking you out of the moment
Close your eyes and picture whatever you want. You’re not under any orders to stare deep into each other’s eyes like you’re 18th century soul mates if that’s way too intense for you. Plus, he’ll just think you’re soooo turned on that you had to close your eyes. Let him keep thinking that.
8 You feel like you’re just laying there doing nothing
Get more active in your own thrusting, which can not only help you set the rhythm for what you’d like him to be doing, it’ll make him feel like you’re both having sex with each other (rather than him just having sex on top of you), which is pretty much the point.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com