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Urban Dictionary Sex Terms that Will Make You Lol

Some things you need to know, and some you can never un-know…

Urban Dictionary saves peoples lives on the daily. Well, the kinds of people who are hoping to be on ‘fleek’ without even knowing what that means. We had a little look about and found some hilarious terms about sex. Some you probably know, some you most definitely do not.

A – ABC Sex

Sex only on Anniversaries, Birthdays and Christmas. ‘They’ve been married so long they only have ABC sex.’

B – Business Shower

An intimate shower taken between two people solely for the purpose of saving time, completely devoid of any sexual connotation. ‘Oh shit, my alarm didn’t go off!’ ‘Shit… I have to be at work in 20 minutes!’ ‘We’ll just have to shower together.’ ‘Hey man, that’s gross.’ ‘Nah, it’s cool… It’ll be a Business Shower.’ ‘A’ight dog.’

C – Chode

A penis wider than it is long. ‘My boyfriend wanted a hand-job but I couldn’t get a good grip because he had a chode.’

D – DTF

Abbreviation for ‘down to fuck’. ‘He was looking good and I was DTF so we took it back to my place.’

E – Edging

Coming close to climax or ejaculation, then purposefully stopping sexual stimulation in order to delay the same, so that the ultimate climax will be more intense. ‘As we were edging, each time I got close to coming. I’d withdraw and wait until immediate passion passed, and he would do the same, until neither of us could tolerate it any longer, and we both shot our loads.’

F – Fuckit List

A list of people, male or female, you want to have sexual intercourse with before you die. ‘Ryan Gosling, Idris Elba and David Gandy are all on my fuckit list.’

G – Grind

A group of lesbians. ‘A gaggle of geese… a herd of elephants… a grind of lesbians.’

H – Honeydude

Like a sugar daddy without the age gap. ‘Why have a sugar daddy when you can have a honeydude ? They last longer.’

I – IMAX and Climax

Netflix and chill, but to the next level. It means you are going to climax with your partner while an IMAX is playing in the background. It’s for risk takers, while Netflix and chill is for those who prefer to play it safe. ‘Hey, wanna come back to my place and watch Netflix and chill?’ ‘Nah, I prefer to IMAX and climax.’

J – Jackintosh

A computer used exclusively for porn. ‘I have a desktop for work and my tablet, or as I refer to it, my Jackintosh, for fun.’

K – Kinky

Foot-sucking, rubber wearing, pee on me, fruit-fuckin’, candlewax drippin’, long fingernail scrapin’, tossed salad eatin’, multiple partner havin’, she-male, oil-drenched, chocolate sauce, whipped cream covered, vibrator usin’, dress-up, banned in 30 countries type of sex. ‘We had kinky sex on the patio last night!’

L – Liptease

The act of putting on lipstick suggestively; the oral equivalent of a striptease. ‘Diane was giving me a liptease from across the room, so I went over and asked her out.’

M – Masturdating

Going out alone. For exmaple, seeing a movie by yourself or going to a restaurant alone. ‘Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I’m addicted to chronic masturdating.’

N – Nekkid

Nekkid is not simply being without clothing. It means you are gettin’ nekkid for mischievous purposes. Naked is natural; nekkid is naughty. ‘Come over quick, Shirley! I’m getting nekkid!’

O – Orgasm

The meaning of life. *Post orgasm* ‘I can die happy now.’

P – Procrasturbating

Using masturbation to otherwise occupy yourself while pressing matters await. ‘I had a paper due today, but I spent all night procrasturbating.’

Q – Queening

The act of a woman sitting on her subserviants face for the majority of the day. Also known as throning. ‘Man she’s into kinky shit: she likes BDSM and queening.’

R – Road Bone

The occurrence of an unwanted erection during a ride in a car, truck boat, airplane, etc. Usually occurs on long trips. ‘Dude, I hope she doesn’t see my road bone. I’ve had it since we left town and I cant get rid of it!’

S – Sexercism

Having sex with someone new to get over someone old. A way to cut any last emotional ties to a person you used to have sex with. A non-religious, therapeutic exercise. ‘She needs to get over her ex already!’ ‘Yeah, she needs a sexercism real fast.’

T – Titty Fuck

To thrust the penis between a women’s preferably large breasts. ‘We engaged in a delightful titty-fuck.’

U – UFIA: Unsolicited Finger In the Anus

‘I’m in trouble with my boyfriend due to little a UFIA situation.’

V – Voldemort

The sexual act involving the expulsion of ejaculatory in the shape of a lightning bolt onto the forehead of the beneficiary. ‘He’s a huge Harry Potter fan so I gave him permission to Voldemort.’

W – Weenis

It’s actually the skin on your elbow. ‘He was horrified when I asked him to rub cream on my weenis.’

X – Xoxo

Hugs and kisses. ‘See you later, xoxo’

Y – Y2SK

A helpful online abbreviation of ‘You 2 Should Kiss’. Piet comments on Jane’s Facebook profile: ‘You look really pretty in this photo.’ Jane comments: ‘Thanks Piet. <3’ You comment: ‘Y2SK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

Z – Zsa Zsa Zsu

Comes from Sex and the City, where Carrie describes it as the feeling you get when you meet someone you really, really like. That sort of lovey, butterflies feeling when you just want to be with someone. ‘I met this new guy Berger, and I just got that zsa zsa zsu.’

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