You wouldn’t want to be a guy – it would mean talking to your friends in monosyllables, having feet that smell like French onion soup, and looking at women with big boobs. But just because we’d balk at trading places with guys doesn’t mean they have nothing to teach us. For starters: ‘Men tend to act on their instincts more, especially when it comes to sex,’ says Dr Ian Kerner, author of Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man (William Morrow). ‘They do what feels good without over-thinking it.’ Adopting that kind of male mentality in the bedroom leads to a long list of perks, including a higher libido and climaxing more often. In the name of sexual superiority, er, we mean equality, we asked experts to fill us in on exactly what a girl should steal from a guy’s MO.
The average guy could spend the day inhaling chicken wings and still want sex when he gets home. But if women eat too much – or are a little bloated or pimply or feel crappy for any other reason – they often shut down their sex drive. The reason? ‘Females have this notion that they don’t deserve sex unless they look and feel absolutely perfect, but that’s total nonsense,’ says Cynthia Gentry, author of What Men Really Want in Bed (Quiver). Your guy often picks up on your feeling like you ‘shouldn’t’ have sex and is less inclined to ask for it, which only reinforces your thinking that you’re not doable. The result is a lot less sex for everyone involved. The truth is, once your clothes come off, this is the extent of what a guy is thinking: ‘Boobs!’ In other words, he’s not noticing that you have a zit or haven’t washed your hair. So instead of closing yourself off, think like a guy and go for it anyway. A quick way to get out of your own head: ‘Get him hard – literally. Reach over and touch his penis to let him know you want sex,’ says Dr Patricia Taylor, author of Expanded Orgasm: Soar to Ecstasy at Your Lover’s Every Touch (Sourcebooks Casablanca). ‘When you see how aroused he gets, you’ll realise there’s no point in worrying about all that other stuff.’