As it turns out, it’s a good thing to be out of your mind… when it comes to the bedroom. ‘Extraneous thoughts pull you away from the present, interfering with pleasure,’ explains Dr Laura Berman, co-author of For Women Only (Henry Holt and Co). ‘And, often there’s a recurring reason – a busy schedule, body hang-ups – that keeps you from chilling.’ But, since women are more prone to disruptions than men, staying in the moment is often a challenge. Spot your passion distraction below, and find out how not to let it de-rail you.
‘When you have a lot going on in your mind, it’s hard to go from mental to physical mode,’ explains Lou Paget, author of The Great Lover Playbook (Gotham). To clear your head (and clear a path to satisfaction), focus on sensations pre-sex. Climb into the bath and let the water envelop you, or rub lotion all over.
Should an item from your to-do list creep into your head mid-hookup, concentrate on moving past it as you breathe deeply. ‘This calms you and increases arousal,’ says Dr Aline Zoldbrod, co-author of Sex Talk (iUniverse). Then, run your hands along your guy’s legs to tune back in to how great he feels.