Though they’ve garnered a reputation for being sex-obsessed (when they aren’t trying to get it, they’re talking about trying to get it), guys can be surprisingly guarded about certain sexual issues. ‘Men are usually comfortable talking about sex in broad strokes,’ says Cynthia W Gentry, author of What Men Really Want in Bed (Quiver). ‘But many have a very hard time communicating the nuances of their concerns or desires because they’re embarrassed or afraid of how you might react.’
But since information is power, we set out to bring you the sexual secrets all guys keep from their girls by asking experts to identify the stuff he’s been hiding. Hope you’re sitting down.
‘Due to the availability of online porn, men have never felt more pressure to perform,’ says psychologist and sex therapist, Dr Peter S Kanaris. Plus, some TV shows, such as Sex and The City have let men in on a dirty little secret: Some women talk – sometimes trash – about their partner’s sexual skills.
So what is he worried about exactly? ‘His biggest fears: Is my penis big enough? And, will I be able to get her to orgasm?’ says Gentry. But experts add that another surprisingly common one is, ‘Will I be able to orgasm?’ To put his mind (but not his penis) at ease, let him know he’s pleasing you. ‘Moaning or saying "That feels good" assures him he’s hitting his marks. And if you notice he’s having a hard time peaking, assuage his concerns by not making his orgasm the end goal,’ suggests Gentry. ‘Say, "Let’s take a break."’