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5 Totally Embarrassing Vibrator Fails

Think mom walking in on you was bad? Read these!

Brought to you by HoneyHoney.

 1. Inspired by Kim Kardashian

‘I used to live in a flat which I shared with three guys. One Sunday morning, after a big night out, I woke up in the mood for some playtime with my large, shiny, vibrant purple sex toy. Sadly for me, I discovered that Old Faithful’s battery had run out. (What can I say? I was young and energetic and very single.) In a bit of a daze, and clutching my toy,  I stumbled into our lounge to look for some batteries, thinking that I could swap my worn-out ones for the ones that were in the TV remote. As I reached for the remote, I remembered that I had recorded a marathon Kardashian session the night before and thought that watching a couple of episodes would be better for my hangover than a session with my plaything. I flopped down onto the sofa and pressed play. The next thing I knew I had woken up, my enormous sex toy in my lap, to see three guys standing around me, laughing themselves silly. To this day, they all say I fancy Kim, whenever they want to embarrass me. I’m not sure what’s more embarrassing: being caught with a sex toy or being known for being turned on by Kim Kardashian.

Carli, Cape Town

Related: 10 Sex-Toy Safety Tips

Insipred to play by this story? Treat yourself to The HoneyHoney Bright Vibes Vibrator (R849).  This bright vibrator is smooth and perfectly angled to find your G-Spot. It’s made from 100% hypoallergenic silicone and is silky-soft to the touch. Waterproof and quiet with eight vibration modes.

Honey Honey Bright Vibes

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2. Eggs-cuse me?

‘My boyfriend loves the egg-and-remote combination. When I’m sure we will have privacy, it’s fun to go along with him, it makes him happy and it’s exciting for me. One day we met for a sexy lunch at a restaurant near to work and  I let him convince me to insert the egg. Suffice to say we had a very long lunch and before we knew it, I had two minutes to get back to the office for a very long and very important presentation to new clients, with my boss. As I launched into my presentation, I felt a familiar buzzing sensation. It was my egg. Doing its vibe-y thing. Did I mention that my boyfriend and I work together? I have never, in my entire professional life, had to concentrate so hard on finishing a presentation.’

Marilize, Parktown

Inspired to play by this story? Treat yourself to a HoneyHoney Touch Me Egg and remote for just R799. This sexy, modern egg-vibrator and remote comes with a smart touch-screen dial, so no more button pressing needed! It’s easy to use and comfortable to hold, making playtime fun and fuss-free. The wired-remote controls the egg’s vibrations, with varying speeds. Use the egg vibrator as an external massager or internally for added pleasure.

HoneyHoney Touch Me Egg and remote vibe

honeyhoney.co.za

3. Shopping Spree

‘I am a buyer for a novelty chain. After one buying trip to China, I attended a trade fair where I discovered a new range of very lurid, life-like vibrators in a sparkly new texture. Of course, I stocked up on samples and without thinking (I had not bought sex toys abroad before,) threw them into my suitcase, on top of all my clothes, for the trip home. As they were samples, quite a few of them were out of their packaging. I then forgot all about them. When I arrived home in Johannesburg, horribly jet-lagged and exhausted, I set off through customs, (which was, of course, horribly crowded) never expecting to be stopped as I have never been before. But of course I was. The customs officers opened my cases and were absolutely shocked, confused and fascinated by the number and variety of plastic penises I had apparently brought home for my own fun and games.’

Tidi, Greenside

Inspired to play by this story? Treat yourself to a Big Boy Power Rabbit Vibe for R899. With three unidirectional rotation speeds that are bound to leave you breathless, the Big Boy Power Rabbit adds a completely new dimension to your penetration and will certainly deliver. The Big Boy has a large-sized shaft tipped in a realistic penis head, and a side-mounted bunny bullet that vibrates, teasing and stimulating the clitoris into ecstasy. With stimulating rotating beads in its shaft, two powerful whisper motors, three pulsations and four speeds, it’s the perfect rabbit vibrator for some solo experimentation or for adding a little adventure to partner play.

Big Boy Power Rabbit Vibe

honeyhoney.co.za

4.Cu-cum-ber

‘I had a girlfriend who, feeling horny one morning, experimented with a lovely smooth, big cucumber. Being a bit slovenly, she left it lying next to her bed afterwards, only to find that her cleaner had thoughtfully put it in the fridge when she returned from work that evening. Half of it had been consumed. She could not, she said, meet her flatmate or her cleaner’s eyes for months afterwards.’

Louisa, Newlands

Inspired to play by this story? Choose the HoneyHoney O-Zone Ridged Pleasure Pole Vibe at just R699. The O-Zone Ridged Pleasure Pole Vibe has the special feature of five sensual mounds, poised to deliver varying and exciting experiences – not to mention breathtaking orgasms. Its simple-yet-clever design offers convenient and comfortable handling with one-finger control, while a whisper motor ensures absolute privacy and discretion. The vibrator is made from super-soft silicone for added flexibility and comfort, and features three pulsations and four speeds.

O-Zone Ridged Pleasure Pole Vibe

honeyhoney.co.za

5. Sword Fight

‘I was babysitting my nephew and his little friend who, at five, are at that stage of playing guns and swords with anything they can get their hands on. One night, as I enjoyed a long and quiet drink outside, he and his little friend were messing around in my bedroom. The next thing I knew my sister was at the door to collect him. And I waved her vaguely in the direction of my bedroom where they had been occupied for the last 10 minutes. She came back flushed and embarrassed. They had somehow got hold of my two “adult” toys and were using them to pretend to be Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. My sister and I are close, but not that close. There were very strict rules for both him and me, the next time I babysat.’

Tami, Sandton

Inspired to play by this story? Try the HoneyHoney Swarve Swerve Curved Vibrator at R799. It’s both curvy and ergonomic in all the right ways. This vibrator is made from 100% body-safe silicone and it’s waterproof, so take it with you on your next bath-time relaxation. One-button feature and seven vibration modes.

O-Zone Ridged Pleasure Pole Vibe

honeyhoney.co.za

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