Will He Ever Marry You? pg1
Cosmo Editor

Will He Ever Marry You? pg1

- Cosmo Editor

You and your guy may be a better match than cheese and marmite, but that won’t make him propose. Psychologist Dr Alon Gratch reveals the tipping factor that will.

Women assume that a guy will pop the question once he finds someone he’s compatible with, i.e., The One. But that’s not enough to push him over the edge, according to clinical psychologist Dr Alon Gratch, author of If Men Could Talk (Little, Brown and Company). What, then, does it take?

‘Being ready,’ says Gratch. ‘In my 25 years of experience working with men as a relationship therapist, its 49% the right woman, 51% his readiness to commit.’ That means that compatibility is hugely important. But if he’s not in a ‘marriage mindset’ yet, he’s not going to commit to anyone… not even Gisele. In fact, 81% of the married men surveyed by the National Marriage Project in the US said one reason they decided to wed was because it was the right time to settle down. ‘Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person,’ says Gratch. ‘But he is more likely to meet her once he’s in that marrying state of mind.’ To help us figure it all out, we asked Gratch to explain. Here, he divulges the five factors that make a man want to take the plunge:

Commitment Factor #1: The Capacity To Love No matter how head-over-heels your guy is during the initial honeymoon period of the relationship, it doesn’t mean he’s ready to commit. A man might fall in love, which requires the capacity to idealise. That means thinking and feeling like his partner and the relationship are uniquely special, enabling him to ignore imperfections which, in turn, makes him feel valued and special. Loving, on the other hand, involves connecting with the other person, understanding her and wanting to be with her for who she is, not who he’d like her to be. While it might be difficult to decipher the difference between the two, one clue is the test of time. Falling in love happens early on in a relationship, when a couple barely know each other. Once they become more intimate and learn more about each other’s positive and negative traits and the initial ‘love buzz’ is gone, a man who is only in love will lose interest. If he truly loves, he’ll stay.

Another major telltale sign of real love is selflessness and the ability to care. Does your man make sacrifices for you? Is he able to put your wants and needs before his? Relationships are all about give and take, but love is more about giving.

Commitment Factor #2: Being Able To Accept Imperfections
Commitment Factor #3: He Truly Believes In Commitment
Commitment Factor #4: He’s Sure He Can Be The Man
Commitment Factor #5: He’s Tired Of Playing Around


CELEB NEWS 10 VMA Outfits We Will Never Forget 10 VMA Outfits We Will Never Forget - Cleo Marcopoulos | 22 August 2014 | 03:04pm

MORE ENTERTAINMENT The Biggest OMG WTF Moments from the VMAs The Biggest OMG WTF Moments from the VMAs - Lerato Bokako | 22 August 2014 | 02:33pm

We throw it back to the biggest and most infamous moments from the VMAs over the years

CELEB NEWS MTV Video Awards 2014 Seating Plan Tells You Who's Boss MTV Video Awards 2014 Seating Plan Tells You Who's Boss - Sbosh Mafu | 22 August 2014 | 02:21pm

The MTV Video Music Awards seating plan generates just as much talk as the red carpet and winners on the night. We preview who has been put where in 2014.

WIN WIN: A Special-Occasion Package Worth R12 500 WIN: A Special-Occasion Package Worth R12 500 - Cosmo Editor | 22 August 2014 | 02:16pm

WIN A Special-Occasion Package with The Vineyard Hotel Worth R12 500