Once you’ve met the parents, said ‘I love you’ and seen each other without makeup, you’re ready for the next milestone: travelling together. You might not think going away is a huge change from the usual and will be a piece of cake. How different can spending four solid days travelling be to spending four solid days watching every episode of Narcos together? Travelling as a couple is romantic and fun, but it can also be an eye-opening experience where you learn things you never knew about your partner. Here are some thoughts that aren’t unusual to run through your mind as you two explore unknown territories together:
Please, God, don’t be someone who wants to be part of the Mile High Club
Who TF romanticised the idea of having illegal sex in a tiny toilet with a dangerously powerful flushing mechanism? It’s scary and not hot! Hopefully your SO is happy to just remain seated and hold hands while you lie under your static-filled blankets next to each other.
Why are you talking like that?
Being on holiday does weird things to the human brain. All of a sudden your previously normal boyfriend has started saying everything in an OTT Italian accent just because you’re in Rome. Or they learned one Spanish phrase and insist on saying it as much as possible even when it doesn’t make sense. You’ll pretend to find it funny, while internally wondering when did he turn into your dad and how do you get him to shut up.
Oh, you’re a go-getter. Great
It’s rare that a couple’s energy levels and sleeping habits align, and can be an infuriating part of travelling together. You were envisioning a holiday of lying in and cuddling for hours, but now it’s 7am, they’re dressed in full hiking gear and telling you to get up. Or it could be you who likes to carpe diem while they want to sleep the day away. Ugh!
How do I let them know I have a disgusting case of food poisoning without killing the mood forever?
You wanted to get the authentic experience and eat like a local, but a real local would have known to stay away from that kebab stand. Now it’s too late and your bowels are *not* happy with you. Do you play it cool and just tell your partner you need to take a seven-hour shower? Or do you get brutally honest and send them to buy more toilet paper?
How are you still alive with those terrible budgeting skills?
You watch them blow half of the money they brought for food on a straw hat and wonder how they have made it this far in life when they clearly know nothing about money. Also, what is it about being on holiday that makes people all of a sudden really into straw hats? You’re probably just secretly jealous of their care-free attitude (and pissed because you know this means that unless they’re going to eat that hat, you’ll be buying dinner for the next few days).
Wow, I had no idea you liked that
On holiday you’ll get to see sides of your bae you’ve never seen before. It can be a turn-on (like when you discover they are really good at haggling), endearing (like when you see how well they treat service staff) or annoying (like discovering they think it’s acceptable to cut their toe nails in the bed you share). In turn you’ll get to show them the holiday version of you, and chances are you guys fall even more in love. Cute.
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