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Is it Ever Okay to Look Through Your Partner's Phone?

Real women’s stories about snooping through bae’s messages ?

Do you ever step back and stress about just how much very, very private information your phone carries? If someone picked mine up RN, they could tell me who my crush is, what day of my period I’m on, how much money I owe my housemate for milk this month, and the passwords for my Internet banking (I really should delete that note, I know). I’m sure we can all agree that looking through someone’s private stuff on their phone is always wrong, but sometimes (namely, in the case of cheating lovers) a bit of prying pays off. Here are a few stories from all sides of the phone-snooping spectrum:

‘I would flip if someone looked at my private messages, but I think there is a time and place for doing it. Like, I had literally no idea my long-distance boyfriend was cheating on me until he accidentally left himself logged into his Facebook on my laptop one day when he was visiting. I’m naturally a bit nosy so couldn’t resist opening his inbox, and found that he had been sending gross and flirty messages to two other girls for months. He managed to turn it around and say I was the one in the wrong, but I don’t know if I would have found out if I hadn’t done this so I don’t regret it.’ —Catherine, 23

‘My boyfriend reading my messages actually kind of saved our relationship. We were going through a rough patch, and I had started talking to this other guy. A lot. It was wrong and inappropriate, but I wasn’t doing anything obviously wrong so kept sending him messages. One day, my boyfriend read the preview of a text from this other guy and I started blushing so I came clean. It ended up in me getting a huge reality check and realising what I was doing. We worked through it and are thankfully still together. I’ll never do anything like that ever again.’ —Robynne, 26

‘I was having a thing with this guy and noticed he used to be really secretive with his phone. I had a feeling something was going on and was dying to read his messages but didn’t because I am a good person (i.e. I didn’t know the password). Instead, I just asked him if I could scroll through his WhatsApp contact list to see who else he was speaking to (I know I sound like a controlling girlfriend, and I am). He totally freaked out and refused, which told me everything I needed to know, TBH. We broke up.’ —Kirsty, 28

‘I remember going through my very first boyfriend’s messages while he was in the shower (it was so long ago it was a flip phone and passwords for phones hadn’t been invented yet). I found nothing juicy and just felt really guilty about it for ages. I wouldn’t do it again – it’s too rude and invasive.’ —Jo, 27

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