Stop dismissing potential partners because you think they’re ‘not your type’. Throw away your checklist, and start getting to know someone as a whole instead of a bunch of ticked-off parts. Here’s why it’s just better.
1. Physical appearance is only one tiny piece of the world’s biggest and most complicated puzzle. You can be wildly attracted to what seems like the perfect man – until he opens his mouth and you realise he’s a dumb idiot. Or his sexual fetish is My Little Pony cosplay. Or you tug on his sexy man-bun in the throes of passion only to realise it’s a clip-on. Or whatever! The point is, seeing someone and interacting with someone are two very different things – and looking at someone is way less important than learning about someone.
2. You’ll generally be a more open-minded person. Just because your body feels feelings when you look at Michael B. Jordan, does not mean you’re going to dismiss anyone who doesn’t look like Michael B. Jordan. Just because you like a guy who has a good sense of humour doesn’t mean you’ll end it because he doesn’t die laughing at every single one of your jokes. People are so much more than the sum of their parts, and only when you take all the parts into consideration will you know that.
3. You’ll maximise your Tinder matches. Because you can find something interesting or attractive about virtually anyone. You’re not looking for any particular body type, personality, hair colour or skin tone. You’re looking for a cool, kind person – and you aren’t really bothered by the package it’s delivered in.
4. What you think you want probably isn’t what you actually want. It’s likely that most of us have an idea of the type of person we’re looking for, but the reality is that that person is what you want, not what you need. You may swoon over the idea of a super sensitive soul, but you may not be swooning when he starts weeping every time you get into a minor disagreement. Things you like about potential partners in theory don’t always pan out in reality.
5. Even science says ‘your type’ has no impact on the person you actually end up with. Studies have shown that Having A Type doesn’t actually exist – you only think it does. Social psychologist Lorne Campbell of the University of Western Ontario found that just because you like someone on paper doesn’t mean you’ll like him in person. Most people in LTRs are with people who don’t fit into their perceived type – because the type wasn’t real to begin with.