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23 Things You Should Know Before Dating An Only Child

We’re not all demanding, stubborn egomaniacs (promise).

Us only children have got a pretty bad rep, haven’t we? People assume because we were raised alone, we’re going to be selfish (not completely true), unsociable (kinda) and high-maintenance (spot on). But really, we’re not all demanding, egotistical maniacs. Saying that, there are a few things to know if you’re planning to date one of us…

1 We tell our parents EVERYTHING. I’m really not exaggerating. Our parents were basically the only people we hung out with for the first few years of our lives. So if you wannabe one of our lovers, you gotta get with our fam.

2 Our alone time is sacred. Don’t take it personally if we don’t want to spend every waking hour in your arms. It doesn’t matter how great/fun/hot you are, we need space because it’s what we’re used to.

3 We’ll become close AF with your siblings. Soz but we’re going to be so inappropriately friendly with your sisters and brothers. We’ll fall in love with them so hard and so fast and make them our bezzers no matter what it takes.

jim carrey, love me,

4 …and your mum. We’re mad about mums and will make her love us too.

5 Our parents aren’t all super-protective weirdos. Obvs they love us loads (that’s why one child was enough for them, duh), but they didn’t wrap us up in cotton wool. If anything, we were left to our own devices and ended up getting into more trouble.

6 It takes us longer to take big steps. Moving out of our lovely bubble of solitude and in with someone is scary to us. We’ve managed on our own all our lives, so don’t be surprised if it takes us a lil while longer to make that decision. Just know once we do, we are all in.

7 Yeah, we still think about our imaginary friends. You think we’re freaks for making up a friend and talking to them like they’re real? Well your childhood must have been rubbish without one. We had some of our best tea parties with our imaginary friends and will never ever forget them.

donnie darko, imaginary, friend,

8 We can be nightmare housemates. Look, we’ve never had to make physical space for anyone else’s crap. We like our stuff to remain in its rightful place and if anyone touches it so help them god.

9 YES, our parents do love us thanks. Just because they decided not to have any more kids once we came into the world, it doesn’t mean we put them off okay? We’ve heard that one thousand times and nah, it’s never funny.

11 We’ll say exactly what we think. We never got a chance to lie as a child, we had no sister to blame anything on. This means we’re always honest and yeah, sometimes that can come across as bluntness. You’ll get used to it, and even learn to like it.

serena williams, honest, truth,

12 Hanging out with older people is fun for us. Dude, we’ve been holding our own in conversations with adults since we were yay high. In fact, we find any antiques, pension or housing market chat riveting.

13 We’re chill AF. Arguing is something we’re not used to and also not that good at. It’s not that we’re afraid of speaking our mind, but we just kind of don’t see the point.

14 Our friends are our family. Intense as it sounds, we would die for our friends. We surround ourselves with awesome, loyal, brilliant goddesses who we can trust with our lives.

15 We’re SO ambitious. I mean, we’ve basically grown up being told we can do anything we put our minds to (cheers parents). But also, we weirdly don’t always trust in our own abilities. So yeah, we’re giant walking contradictions.

snooki, i got this,

16 Our parents didn’t spoil us. Stop thinking of us as gross little brats who were showered with gifts because it’s just not true. If anything, we hate it when people buy us stuff because we’re used to fending for ourselves, ta.

17 Sharing doesn’t come easily to us. Not in a selfish way, like, we’d happily buy you your own portion of chips. But if you say you don’t want any, and then we see your greedy old hand lurching towards our plate we will lose our minds.

19 Your first couples break with us won’t be easy. Having no time to hide in our rooms and be alone will be hard for us. As will sharing a bed, space, a toilet. Give us time, we’ll get used to it.

20 We’re sick of people feeling sorry for us. There’s nothing more infuriating than when you tell someone you’re sibling-less and they do The Headtilt. We don’t need your sympathy thanks.

21 Fighting is an alien concept to us. Most people with brothers and sisters have wrestled, pulled each others’ hair and punched each other, right? Well, we’ve never really been in a physical fight and to be honest we think it’s stupid.

22 We can be a bit obsessive. Not in a Standing Outside Your Bedroom With A Boombox kind of way, but when we like something, we really like something. Real talk: we’ve got loads of interests and they’re probably kinda nerdy.

23 You’ll never have to compete with us. Don’t worry, we’re not going to try and out do you all the time. After all, not having siblings means we never had anyone to win against.

This post originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk.

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