Dodgy Sex Confessions (Part Two)
asset image
COSMO

Dodgy Sex Confessions (Part Two)

- COSMO

You’ll cringe, and then crack up, after reading these true stories of the most memorable booty bloopers doctors and nurses have ever seen.

Keyed Up
‘A hysterical woman came into the emergency room. She said she had a fight with her boyfriend while sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put it in her vagina so he couldn’t drive home! Now, she couldn’t locate the key to get it out. I couldn’t find it either; so we concluded that it must have fallen out somewhere near her boyfriend’s car’.

Go Fish
‘A man explained that his girlfriend had tried to take his temperature rectally and "lost" the thermometer. I could actually see the glass tip poking out of his rear end, so I got a padded clamp and gently began pulling. It was a thermometer all right, but one for a fish tank – more than 30 centimetres long!’

Hot Infection
‘I was assigned to examine a patient with stomach pain. The woman turned out to be my high school classmate, but instead of being happy to see me, she was mortified. She confessed she wasn’t suffering from stomach pain but had gotten something "stuck". Hours earlier, she’d microwaved a frozen hot dog to use as a sex toy. But heating it had softened the hot dog, and it broke off inside her. I removed it, though I doubt she’ll look me in the eye at our next reunion.’

Play Ball
‘A young couple came in with this story: During sex, the woman had grabbed a medium-size rubber ball and inserted it into her man’s back door. The ball became lodged so high in his rectum, they couldn’t get it out… and neither could we! The attending doctor contacted a surgeon, but while we were waiting for him to arrive, the man began coughing. The ball came flying out of his butt with enough velocity to ping around the room and it hit the just-arriving surgeon in the head.’

<<<Go Back To Part One

IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU'LL ALSO ENJOY THIS...

CELEB NEWS Caitlyn Jenner 'hates losing out' to ex-wife Kris - COSMO | 30 July 2015 | 06:00pm

Caitlyn Jenner "hates losing out" to Kris Jenner. The 65-yea...

SHARE
CELEB NEWS Reese Witherspoon's style swap - COSMO | 30 July 2015 | 06:00pm

Reese Witherspoon "swaps clothes" with her daughter. The 'Wi...

SHARE
CELEB NEWS Chrissy Teigen envious of Kim Kardashian West's family - COSMO | 30 July 2015 | 06:00pm

Chrissy Teigen is envious of Kim Kardashian West's family. T...

SHARE
CELEB NEWS Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert 'just friends' - COSMO | 30 July 2015 | 06:00pm

Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert want to move on as "friend...

SHARE