1 He’s Secretly Thinking: wow this is how it’s actually going to happen!
Having sex for the first time is a big deal to some people. For reasons way too detailed and complex to get into right now, some people even think it’s better to play it close to the chest and maybe not even share it’s their first time. Which is weird and dumb, because you wouldn’t lie and tell someone you’ve flown a helicopter before when you haven’t. Granted, there isn’t a stereotype floating around regarding first-time helicopter-fliers falling in love with their flight instructor, but still. At some point, everyone was a virgin, in much the same way that even experienced helicopter pilots were all at one point novices who had little to no idea what they were doing.
2 He Googled Some of This Beforehand
There’s no harm in preparing ahead of time to some degree. Granted, on the one hand, sex is like Mortal Kombat 2 in that nothing can prepare you. But it’s still nice to go in with confidence and at the very least, a sense of context. If you’ll allow me to return to the helicopter metaphor (PLEASE ALLOW ME), it’s like how someone might Google flight instructions on how to fly a helicopter before getting their first lesson. It won’t make them a pro, but at least they won’t feel like they’re going into it blind.
3 He’s Trying So Hard to Think About Sport
This is one of those time-tested tips: distract yourself. If it’s his first time, he’s likely not going to last very long, unless he can do his absolute best to not blow his load. ‘Baseball’ is usually the subject matter that gets tossed out as a good distraction. ‘Helicopter flying’ is another.
4 This Is Not What He Expected
It’s pretty tough to get a handle on what sex is like before you have it. Even with some masturbation experience, sex can be really overwhelming and the sensations aren’t what he’s prepared himself for. Consider someone who has spent a substantial amount of time playing helicopter flights simulators. The real sensation of flying a helicopter is still drastically different.
5 There’s a Huge Wave Of Feelings After
It’s nice to know that his v-card has been punched. Not even because of societal pressures, but because it’s a huge emotional milestone and he feels different now, somehow. It’s provides a sense of jubilation and relief in the same way getting into college or landing an exciting job does. Similarly, one can get that feeling from a first helicopter lesson.
6 He’s Not Entirely Sure on Proper Hand Placement
In theory, he might know a good majority of sex positions, but theory and practice are two different things entirely. The subtle nuances of where to rest his hands and elbows to maximise leverage (without making you uncomfortable or cutting off his circulation) is just not the kinds of things you see in porn. It’s very similar to how he might not know where to place his hands when first learning to fly a helicopter.
7 He’s Curious to Know How He Did
It’s natural to want to know how he was performance-wise, even if that’s not exactly the sexiest of after-sex conversations. Mostly, he wants to make sure it was at ‘more or less fine,’ which is probably the best he can aim for the very first time.
8 He Really Wants to Go Again, But Doesn’t Want to Seem Overeager
Sex for the first time is a rush, and it’s the kind of thing that can be over before he even feels like he got a grasp on it. He needs to play it cool, but he also wants to go back in there and do it again. In that sense, it’s like riding a rollercoaster for the first time and running back on line immediately. Or it’s like leaping forth out of the helicopter cockpit, hooting and hollering with unmitigated glee. It was just his first lesson, and he can still feel the sense of floating high in the sky. Like a hawk. A hawk flying a helicopter. He glances back at his instructor, still in the cockpit. Despite the oversized aviators and moustache, he can see a smile on the instructor’s face. ‘Not bad for your first time,’ the instructor says. ‘Want to go again?’ He nods, doing his best to keep it cool as he clambers back into the chair. ‘By the way,’ the instructor says as he lights a cigar. ‘I’m a virgin.’ ‘It’s really great that you’re comfortable enough to tell me that,’he shouts over the whir of the blades. ‘I think it’s cool that you’re a virgin.’ The instructor looks away, pretending to check some hard to reach knobs and dials. Behind the bushy moustache and aviators, the instructor smiles.
9 He Loves the Intimacy
It might seem ‘lame’ for him to admit it, but there’s an intimacy to sex, and that could be his favourite part of the whole experience. In the same sense that there’s an intimacy to two people up in the sky, sharing a helicopter and a sense of trust and understanding.
This article originally appeared in Cosmopolitan.com
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