1. He’s got a limited lung capacity. You can only sit on his face for so long before he needs to come up for air. Don’t get mad at him because he occasionally had to stop for a little breather in between going to town on you. Let’s face it, if either one of you had to choose between making your partner orgasm and not suffocating, you know what you’d choose.
2. Tending to your secret garden is your choice. For the most part, guys are really not going to care about your general pubic situation, but I think we can all admit a mouthful of pubic hair isn’t always the sexiest thing you can have in bed.
3. Feel free to guide him. ‘Lead a horse to water,’ so to speak. Grab his hair and give him the guided tour. He won’t mind you showing him the ropes.
4. Please tap out if it’s not going to happen. You have to know, in your heart, if there’s just no way he’s going to make you orgasm. If you’re not sure, by all means, let him keep trying to get you there. But if it’s been two hours and the only thing lubricating your vagina at this point are his tears, then maybe let him know it isn’t working.
5. Use your words. Sometimes it’s tough to tell if you want him to move his hand under the small of your back or play with your butt hole. Do you want him to pinch your nipples? Why do you keep grabbing his hands and pushing them around? Just say what you want, especially when his mouth is too busy to ask.
6. Do your best not to be self-conscious. Act like we’re not here. Get into it. If it feels right, play with your nipples (please, let it feel right). Do what you need to do. We’re sharing a common goal here right now. Plus, our tongue is in your vagina — we feel equally self-conscious.
7. Give us a heads up when you’re about to come. We need to brace ourselves, because we need to prepare ourselves for the possibility that you might box our ears with your thighs and squeeze our heads like a melon until you’re done.
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This post originally appeared on cosmopolitan.com.