Unfortunately, we’ve been conditioned to think sex has to be shout-the-house-down fantastic every single time (and that it should always end in an orgasm … or three). This is one of the weirdest and potentially harmful myths surrounding sex. First of all, an orgasm doesn’t denote success – plenty of people have perfectly enjoyable sex sans climax, thank you very much. Secondly, it’s just not realistic to think sex has to be amazing all the time. Sometimes it’s less orgasmic and more … silly. Sometimes you’re just not feeling it, and that’s fine.
‘The truth is, we all have so-so sex, even with partners who are incredibly special to us,’ says sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. ‘The way to make sure that your sexual happiness improves for you and your partner is to constantly develop your techniques.’
Here, Knight shares her 7 most underrated but essential sex tips which may seem obvious, but are the key to getting the basics right.
1 Remember your most important sex organ is your brain
‘It sounds obvious, but the best sex happens when you have a deep connection with your partner,’ Knight says. ‘Half of men (48%) and 39% of women reckon that love is the most important factor in achieving sexual happiness, according to research by Lovehoney.’ Whether you’re actually in love with the person you’re having sex with or it’s just a casual fling, a good connection undoubtedly makes sex waaaaay better because you’ll be comfortable, relaxed and trusting.
2 Communication is super-important
‘So, you’ve met that special person and are madly in love, but the sex isn’t that great. The only solution to this is to tell them,’ she explains. ‘It’s vital you keep the channels of communication open to enjoy good sex. Don’t be afraid to say, “That really doesn’t work for me.” Talk about what really DOES turn you on, and allow them to do the same.’
If you do this in a positive way, highlighting what your partner does that you really enjoy, it can be a constructive conversation rather than one in which someone gets hurt.