Dating someone manipulative is an emotionally exhausting experience – and it’s not something you deserve. If you’re dating a manipulator, it’s time to get out before it’s too late. Here’s how to know your boyfriend is playing with your feelings to have more power in your relationship.
1. He’s charming. Like, impeccably charming. Creepily charming. And he knows exactly how to use that skill to his advantage. One of the things you like about him is that he can make anyone fall in love with him – your friends are crazy about him and your parents love how confident he is. But you sometimes wonder if it’s all a farce. You’ve seen him in a grumpy mood very often when the two of you are alone together, but around others he’s the life of the party. As far as you can tell, he doesn’t have too many authentic relationships outside of the two of you.
2. You never know where you stand. Your boyfriend is emotionally unpredictable as it gets, and it’s starting to stress you out. As far as you can tell, he doesn’t have one solid mood – he’s hot then he’s cold, yes then he’s no (preach Katy). One minute he’s totally in love with you; the next he’s brooding about how you’re ‘not listening to him’. Now suddenly it’s your job to win back his affection. Except, as far as you can tell, you never actually did anything to lose it.
3. You feel insecure in your relationship. You’re walking on eggshells. Before you say or do anything, you have to wonder if you’re going to upset him. You can never tell if it will, because the same action could result in a totally different reaction at a different time. You’re used to getting the cold shoulder for no apparent reason, and it makes you nervous. You’re in constant fear of him ending things. The relationship doesn’t feel safe, even though he calls himself your boyfriend.
4. He’s lied to you too many times. Big or small, it doesn’t matter – you’ve caught him out and he’s had to apologise. He hasn’t stopped, though. In fact, he makes you feel like his lying is somehow your fault. He’ll say whatever it takes to get his way – and you’re over it.
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