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10 Signs a Couple Is Doomed, According to Wedding Photographers

Like, when the bride flat-out refuses to kiss the groom (true story).

When it comes to the most intimate moments of a wedding day, photographers are there. They witness the bride’s final minutes of getting ready, the couple’s first time seeing each other at the ceremony, and their exhausted limo ride away from the reception. But sometimes that means observing some not-so-great things too. Thanks to Mirror, here are 10 signs, according to wedding photographers, that a couple is doomed.

1. When the couple lacks an emotional connection

We spend eight, 10, 12 or more hours in a day looking at the bride and groom through a frame that isolates them alone and together, largely stripping away the broader context and focusing on their interactions,’ says Reddit user SuccessiveApprox. ‘We are looking specifically for moments of contact, of intimacy, of emotional connection. It pretty quickly becomes evident when those things are there and when they are not.’

2. When the groom admits to his own concerns

I went to the bathroom at one [wedding] and the husband was washing his hands next to me and I made some compliment about how things had come together and joked that it must be a good sign for the future,’ a Reddit user says. ‘He, in a very, very apathetic tone said, “Well, we’ll see how we do,” and walked out.’

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3. When the bride refuses to kiss the groom in photos

My very first wedding was a couple who was getting married at an art museum. I had my friend who’s been a wedding photographer for 10 years with me to show me the ropes after doing a lot of second shooting with him,’ says Reddit user CoLmes. ‘So he poses a kissing shot of the couple, and when he asks them to kiss the bride goes, “Oh, no, no thank you,” in this weird little mousy voice.’

4. When the bride and groom don’t interact during the reception

One couple worried me, because the bride was a tense wreck during the whole ceremony and reception to the point that I didn’t get many usable pictures of her because she looked so stressed out and unhappy,’ a Reddit user says. ‘Meanwhile the groom was with his friends having a great time, but not helping her with anything or responding at all to her panic.’

5. When the couple focuses on the wedding — not the marriage

We spend a lot of time listening to the language they use in pre-meetings, engagement shoots and on the wedding day and it becomes quite clear in a short time what the focus is,’ says Reddit user SuccessiveApprox. ‘Many couples, particularly young couples, clearly have a wedding in mind, but have put little thought and planning into the marriage.’

6. When the bride hits on the photographer

When I first got started I assisted a photographer who was a good-looking fella,’ says Reddit user deweysizemore. ‘During the reception the bride told him they were going to have an open marriage and basically offered herself to him, which he politely declined.’

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7. When the couple takes the cake cutting too seriously

Every once in a while one of the couple will react [dismissively], which is a bad sign,’ says Reddit user 2Dprinter. ‘I think it’s indicative of the sort of contempt that could doom the relationship. Even if you don’t want that fondant on your face, you need to be able to go with it and have a good time.’

8. When the speeches from friends and family aren’t positive

What people who give speeches say about the person their friend/relative is marrying is a huge giveaway,’ says Reddit user 2Dprinter. ‘I’ve heard some truly heartfelt, touching words shared during toasts … and have heard others that were seriously underwhelming. If it isn’t easy for you to think of reasons why this person is a good match for your friend, that’s a bad sign.’

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9. When the couple can’t stop bickering

I wonder about the brides and grooms who make snarky remarks during the day,’ says Reddit user eatcheeseordie. ‘If I’ve only known you for eight hours but I can already tell that you’re upset your new spouse didn’t let you plan any of the wedding, I’m not sure you have your priorities straight.’

10. When the groom has sexual tension with someone other than the bride

There are many other little things to factor in,’ says Reddit user SuccessiveApprox. ‘Like once when there was more sexual tension between the groom and the best man than between the groom and the bride.’

This article originally appeared on Goodhousekeeping.com

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