The 4 Most Terrible Varsity Lecturers You've Definitely Had

Sorry – they’re unavoidable.

If you haven’t experienced at least three of these four terrible lecturers, your varsity career has been a sham up until this point. Watch out: they’re coming for you. Here are the professors that are virtually unavoidable.

1 The one who can’t explain anything to save his life (and your marks). This professor recently celebrated his 109th birthday, probably, so he should know exactly what he’s talking about. Pity he can’t make you understand. This is the lecturer who starts at one point, goes on the world’s most unrelated tangent, and ends with a story about lunch with Mandela back in the early ’60s. This lecturer, unfortunately, thinks that because his subject matter makes perfect sense to him (after all, he’s taught it a million times), it must make sense to everyone else, too. (It doesn’t.)

2 The one who assigns tasks like it’s going out of fashion. This would be okay if the tasks were genuinely helpful and contributed towards your DP – but this lecturer seems to be assigning as many tasks as possible just for shits and giggles. It’s like she doesn’t realise that you have a thousand other courses, all with their own tasks and homework. This lecturer seems to think her subject is the only one that matters.

3 The one who marks very unfairly. If you haven’t experienced this guy yet, beware: he’s coming. It doesn’t matter how much research you do, how much effort you put in or how many times you proofread your work – you will never, ever crack anything higher than a 68 if you’re lucky. This lecturer lives by the law that everything above 75% is ‘publishable’… if ‘publishable’ means ‘perfect’, why isn’t 100% publishable??? It makes no sense at all, but he doesn’t even care.

4 The one who calls you out in a fully packed lecture theatre. Who is this lecturer, and why has she somehow managed to memorise all 300 students’ names? You don’t realise how stressful a lecture can be until you’ve spent time in her class. It’s a full 45 minutes of sitting there with beads of sweat forming, waiting for your name to be called or your face pointed at. HELP!

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