You get told over and over again, ‘Speak nicely to yourself’, ‘Be gentle with yourself’, ‘Love yourself’ – but the more you try and put the advice into practise, the more of a nutter you start to feel. Like, is it possible to nail positive self-talk without leaving empowering Post-it notes dotted around your desk… which you’re sure your co-workers find totally weird? In a word: yes!
Your no-BS guide to positive self-talk (that anyone can do) here:
In the morning
- Take five minutes (promise no more than five needed!) to look at yourself in the mirror and repeat three things you love about yourself. No, it doesn’t have to be something cringe and cheesy, but yes it does need to be something positive. Can’t think of three positive things? You need to love yourself more, girl! Make it a priority to have listed three things by the end of the day, ready for you to use in the mirror each morning.
- Once you get started, you’ll find it easier and easier to think of positive things to say about yourself. It’s all about changing your mindset: away from the over-critical and into the introspective and grateful.
- As you complete this exercise every morning and it becomes habit, you’ll find yourself more aware of positivity around you in general. And you’ll learn to be more gentle to yourself.
- You’ll also find that you ‘own’ those positive aspects you’ve been affirming in the mirror. Telling yourself you’ve got damn good hair? You should find your confidence boosts over time. Repeating that your sales pitch is fantastic? You’ll believe that it is, and this will reflect and impress every time you give that pitch.
During the day
- Dealing with an annoying colleague? Quickly jot down two things they’re good at or that you appreciate about them, and then one thing that they could do to make them easier to work with. Intentionally let them know this week about the things you like about them or that they’re good at. Next week, when they’re built up by your praise and appreciation, gently make your one suggestion for improvement – they should be more receptive to feedback, plus you’ll be kinder with your words after focusing on their good attributes.
- Take two minutes – perhaps over lunch – to step away from your computer and phone, switch off a little, and think about what you’re doing well today. If you can spare the time, go for a quick walk – the more you move out of your daily, stressful environment, the better. Congratulate yourself on two things handled brilliantly so far, and head back into work mode with these in mind.
Before you go to bed
- Before your head hits the pillow, stop and jot down two things you’re grateful for today. If they’re people, make a point of thanking them tomorrow (or drop them a message), so they feel appreciated. That’s literally it! Over time, your attitude will shift to seeing the positive more and more – and you’ll be conscious of saying thank you (whether to others, yourself or the universe), which in turn will open you up to receiving and acknowledging other good out there.
- PS We promise this habit can help sweeten your dreams, too!
It’s as easy as that! The key is consistency – remember, you have to do something around 30 times before it becomes habit. Try and stick to the above for a month, and then reassess what works for you.