When you’re fairly footloose and life is moving fast, you inevitably exist in your own mini earthquake zone, where every now and then something happens that knocks you off your feet. When it does, only one thing is certain – more unsettling aftershocks are on their way. You must have noticed how, when one thing in life goes wrong, often a series of other things topple too, like a row of shaky dominoes. Like practically everything in human nature, there are explanations for these series of seismic shocks, and there are ways to make sure your world can withstand life’s wobbles.
Aside from love, the one thing that’s bound to hit us all at some point is the death of someone close. This kind of loss is guaranteed to shake the ground you stand on. For a while, you cannot see beyond grief, so you always remember it as being surrounded by other unhappy events. ‘The month before my mom died, while she was in hospital, my boyfriend of two years said we should call it quits,’ says Cathy*. ‘Three months later I stormed out of my teacher training course. I felt guilty – it was what my mom had wanted for me.’ Cathy says this string of tough life changes made her feel like she was ‘on a plane without a pilot…’ In fact, her mother’s death required Cathy to take the controls. The death of your mother makes you a different person, and her boyfriend may have sensed changes coming. Teacher training got too much for Cathy when she admitted that she wasn’t doing it for herself. These ‘coincidences’ were connected and when mourning was behind her, Cathy was able to make a fresh start.
How To Stay Calm: Remember that you can’t always control what shakes you. What you can do is keep your feet on the ground, and while the earth is shaking, hold tight to everything you trust – in yourself and others.
*Names have been changed