When you’re fairly footloose and life is moving fast, you inevitably exist in your own mini earthquake zone, where every now and then something happens that knocks you off your feet. When it does, only one thing is certain – more unsettling aftershocks are on their way. You must have noticed how, when one thing in life goes wrong, often a series of other things topple too, like a row of shaky dominoes. Like practically everything in human nature, there are explanations for these series of seismic shocks, and there are ways to make sure your world can withstand life’s wobbles.
Some things are guaranteed to start a chain reaction, and meeting someone special always registers high on the Richter scale. But whether love’s long-term effect is good or bad depends a little on luck, and a lot on you. You know the upside: by date two, you’re walking taller, you sparkle with new energy, you bag a promotion and two months later he moves in. Happily ever after has begun. ‘So how come, soon after we met, I lost my job’?’ asks Anne*, a woman in her twenties. ‘Then I could no longer afford my new flat. Then I got food poisoning. And then he turned out to be married!’ It may sound harsh but, out of all this, only the food poisoning was a total accident. Maybe it was love that distracted Anne at work? And who’s to say she would have rented such an expensive flat if she didn’t hope he might move in with her? Looking back a year later, with a new job and a shared flat, Anne can see the signs she missed: broken dates; his avoidance of public places. If she’d been less hasty, maybe she could have avoided the series of mini-shocks that went on to rock her world.
How To Stay Upright: Slowing down love’s first, fabulous impetus does not spoil it; it can make love’s tremors more positive in the long run. Hang on to old friends and original aims, and you’ll channel love’s power into happy happenings for a lifetime.
*Names have been changed