We’ve all been through it before: one day you wake up and realise your relationship with your best friend simply isn’t the same anymore. Maybe you got into a fight, or maybe the friendship is dying a natural death – either way it can be very difficult to come to terms with losing someone you were sure would be a constant in your life. Before you know it, organising a date with your bestie seems more like a chore than a treat. For the sake of your emotional stability, here are the 10 signs that a friendship might not be worth saving and that both of you are ready to move on.
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1. You start seeing less of each other, but neither of you seems to mind
This is probably the most telling sign of all. If your best friend is still your best friend, it goes without saying that after a few days of no contact, you’d start missing each other and organise a catch-up session. If you find after a super busy week that you haven’t heard from or contacted your bestie – and you don’t really want to, either – it’s probably time to amicably part ways.
2. The friendship is one-sided
Too often we girls try to save a failing friendship even when it’s pretty clear that our BFF is ready to end it. For a relationship to work well, there needs to be giving and receiving on both sides. If you find yourself being the only one to make an effort in the friendship while your friend gets off scott-free, it’s not really a friendship anymore.
3. There is dishonesty
Truthfulness should be the crux of any friendship. The best thing about having a BFF should be the fact that we’re allowed to be our true selves around our friend – there shouldn’t be the need to hide anything. If you find yourself trimming stories or skirting around the truth because you don’t feel loved and respected for who you are anymore, it may be time to finish the friendship.
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4. Your life just feels happier without them
When a friendship is turning sour, you might start to realise that being with your bestie doesn’t make you feel happy anymore – in fact, it’s the exact opposite. Part of a great friendship lies in the joy we should feel from being with our friend. When that happiness is replaced with indifference, it’s a definite warning sign that your relationship has changed.
5. When you do see each other, you have nothing to talk about
You might suddenly realise that you and your BFF actually have nothing in common anymore. The shared experience of attending the same varsity often doesn’t mean much in the real world. If conversation with your friend feels forced and doesn’t flow like it used to, it’s probably a sign that it’s time to sever ties and find people you really connect with.
6. You don’t feel the need to tell her any big news in your life
You know how it used to be: the second you got important news, the first thing you would do is run to your bestie so she could be excited with you. But, at some point you may find that you’re sharing your big news with someone else first. When this happens, it’s probably a sign that your BFF’s role in your life isn’t as big as it should be.
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7. Misunderstandings become more frequent
When your friendship is drawing to a close, the tiniest thing can often blow up into a full-blown fight. Conversations used to flow seamlessly, but now you’re just grating on each other’s nerves. When you and your friend simply don’t understand each other anymore, arguments are more frequent and the friendship becomes stressful and emotionally taxing.
8. You feel tense or on edge in her presence
It’s a sad thing, but you might find that when you actually make a plan to catch-up with your BFF, you don’t feel good while spending time with her. In fact, it’s the opposite. When you start losing touch with someone, you’re bound not to feel as comfortable with them as you should. An uneasy, squirmish feeling is a sure sign that it’s time to break the bond.
9. You find yourself avoiding conflict rather than facing it
This may seem counter-intuitive, but it’s actually very true. When you’re close with someone, conflict is a way to overcome differences and make a bond even stronger. Oddly enough, conflict is a sign of caring. Once you stop caring, you won’t see the point in going through the effort of arguing. If so, it’s time for both of you to move on.
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10. You know, deep down, that you want to end it
Our friends are here to serve a purpose: they are in our lives at a time when we need them, and there’s nothing wrong with not needing them anymore. Wanting to end a friendship doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you ready for a brand new stage in your life. If you have nothing to gain from a friendship, you have nothing to lose when ending it.
If you find yourself nodding in agreement with at least 5 of these signs, it might be time to reevaluate your friendship and see if it’s really one worth maintaining. Never force yourself into anything that doesn’t make you happy – life is far too short.