Don’t let that slothy chick have the last word!
1 She lies. Constantly.
‘I’ll go tomorrow morning.’ No you won’t. You’ll snooze for at least an hour instead.
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2 When lies fail, she tricks you with logic.
Cos, actually, you’ve eaten so little today, and you walked three blocks to the shop to get a bottle of sparkling water, and then climbed all those stairs on your way up to the office, so you should be okay. Except she goes to sleep early, and so does her logic … and then the binges begin.
3 Or she convinces you there’s no time.
If you’d left the office at 5pm on the dot, you’d be in the gym by now and halfway through your workout. But noooo, you had to chitchat about random nothing for 30 minutes on your way out.
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4 In fact, she has a list of excuses THIS long.
Can’t do it without my iPod, or the Power Songs on Nike+. My chest feels a bit tight today, perhaps I should give it a skip. I worked out really hard yesterday and now everything hurts. Etc etc etc…
5 Sometimes she just doesn’t feel like it.
And you always let her win.
6 She’s always hungrier than you are.
You might be trying to have a salad – but she’s gonna make sure you add an entire extra avo. And feta. And croutons. And parmesan shavings.
7 She’s big on doing nothing at all.
And so are you. It’s okay to admit it.
8 She doesn’t believe in guilt trips.
But she’s also never around to make you change lanes when you’re busy taking one!
9 Still, you’re secretly her biggest fan.
Because isn’t it just so nice to be slothy sometimes?
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