Recently, it seems that happiness has become the new sex. You want it stronger, better, faster and more often. But paradoxically, the road to nirvana you've been pursuing could be the major roadblock to a more satisfied you. Experts have discovered that the things everyone thinks are the keys to bliss don't really create a life you love. 'Most of us are pretty bad at predicting what will make us content,' says Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of
The How Of Happiness: A Scientific Approach To Getting The Life You Want (Penguin). Here, the seven happy factors that bomb in bringing fulfillment and - most importantly - uncover new secrets to true pleasure.
| 1. A Ton Of Cash and Luxurious Buys |
Granted, you do need a base amount of money. Research shows that people are happier when they don't have to stress about how to afford basics like shelter, food and medicine. But beyond that, cash loses much of its happiness power. People with above-average incomes actually tend to be more tense and don't spend any more time doing enjoyable activities than those who make less do. The reality is, no matter how much you strive for, you'll never be satisfied - thanks to a phenomenon called the hedonic treadmill. Humans are wired to accumulate things, then outgrow them… originally so we could evolve into better people. But today, upgrading takes on a whole new meaning. Obviously, you'd ditch your bachelor flat for a three-bedroom with a view. But before long, you'll have to have a new kitchen to match the bathroom renovation. After that, why live in an apartment when a beach house like the one your lucky friend has is really where you should be? Either way, your 'What's next?' mindset never changes.
Researchers are discovering that what does make you happy is appreciating the stuff you already have, like noticing how great your place looks on a sunny day with the light streaming in. And using your cash for experiences - like a weekend trip or a painting class - versus stuff pays off two-fold because you gain happy memories. 'So don't deprive yourself, but recognise the limits on the happiness a pricey pair of shoes can bring,' advises psychologist Dr Dale Atkins, author of Sanity Savers: Tips For Women To Live a Balanced Life. (Avon). 'If you drain your account for it, you won't feel pleased or secure when you can't pay your bills.' |
| 2. Being Upbeat 24/7 |
| 3. Having a Lot Of Free Time |
| 4. Partying Like a Rock Star |
| 5. The Perfect You |