Preferably a silly one. How can you take a voice called 'Butthead' seriously? This helps remind you that the voice is not reality-based, but just the way you put yourself down. Next time a thought like 'I'll never succeed because I'm so crap' enters your head, follow it immediately with 'Oh, there's Butthead again. Why don't you eff off and mind your own business?'

Ho-hum chores may not seem like sources of solace, but the routine can be relaxing. Get lost in the rhythm of washing dishes and feeling warm water on your skin. While folding laundry, smooth your hands over toasty, just-out-of-the-dryer towels and sheets.

Don't think: Name the happiest you've been in the last year. You probably didn't say 'Looking at my great shoes,' even if they're your most prized possession. 'Research has found that once people's basic needs are met, having more stuff doesn't increase happiness,' says psychologist Dr Daniel Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness (Vintage). Cut down on clutter and you'll have more room to enjoy yourself. Try this:
• Buy memories instead of things: When deciding whether to spend your cash on an item or an experience - say, a new designer dress versus a weekend trip with friends - go with the experience, says Gilbert. Most people think the outfit is the better choice because a getaway ends. But the trip will always stay perfect in your mind, while the item (suit, shoes, whatever) will eventually lose its lustre and be taken for granted.
• Live fast: Spend less time getting ready for your life and more time living it by using 'item rotation,' says psychologist Dr Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less (Harper Perennial). If you have 10 work skirts, hide five of them so you have fewer choices to stress about each day. Once a month, swap them, and get rid of any you didn't miss while they were hidden.
• Do a digital detox: Being hooked to your BB, iPad and computer means constant pressure to stay in contact… without any face-to-face time. So, go on an occasional tech fast. Don't message people, turn off your cell when you're with someone, and only reply to urgent e-mails. 'You'll connect more with the people around you and feel more a part of your life,' says life coach, Dr Timothy J Moore.
 

He's a great listener, understands the male psyche and isn't bored by endless relationship talk. Plus, he has a great sense of style and is the one person who'll tell you the truth about those pants. Usually high in the fabulous stakes, your GBF will buy you tickets to the ballet, help you redecorate your flat and be your number one support system when things go pear-shaped. And - unlike other guy friends - you can rest assured this one has no ulterior motives.

On the weekend, snooze until you wake up naturally. 'Our brains crave a combination of familiarity and novelty, so if you're used to getting up early, it can be enjoyable to sleep late,' says Dr Stella Resnick, author of Pleasure Zone (MJF Books).

The most important part of self-knowledge, explains Kåre, is being present, so ask yourself what is happening right now, both physically and psychologically. Take a moment to be still and feel your body. Do you have an ache or a pain somewhere? Where? How does it feel? What is happening in your head - are you annoyed, energised, tired? How do you feel right now?

Constantly scrounging around for your keys? A row of mounted hooks hung close to the front door is the way to go. Whenever you get home, make it a habit to hang your keys on the hook as you pass by.

What You Want: To impress your guy's parents the first time you meet.

How To Get It: Casually praise someone whom you're certain his mom or dad holds in high esteem, such as a political figure, author or celebrity.

Why It Works: Experts say that as you talk about their hero in a positive light, your targets start to think about all the qualities they admire in that person. And because they're looking at you, they'll subconsciously link you with that person's positive traits.

The amount of sleep you require is personally and genetically determined, and everyone is different. For some people, five hours is enough; others have to get at least eight. Go to bed at the same time every night for a week and see what time you wake up. If it's super-early, you can afford to go to bed a bit later. If you wake up at the normal time, this is how much your body wants.

Shortcut: The circumference of your neck is generally half the width of your waist. So hold up a pair of pants or a skirt, hook your fingers into the waistband and pull taut, then wrap around your neck. How tight or loose it is indicates how it will fit around your midsection.

Part of what makes your 20s and 30s so awesome are celebrations that spotlight how far you've come as an adult. But those graduations, engagements, and promotions aren't finish lines. They're just markers along the path. 'Investing too much emotion in thinking about exactly how you'll feel when something big happens - like, 'I will be so happy when I'm finally walking down the aisle' - may prevent you from enjoying what actually happens,' says Dr Daniel Siegel, associate clinical professor of psychiatry and author of The Developing Mind (The Guilford Press). 'The end result may not look quite the way you thought it would… or even appear at all.'

How To Pull It Off: Make a conscious effort to notice how ordinary events can swell into extraordinary pleasure. 'Focus on the sensory power in your routines, like how great your guy smells when you cuddle or the first delicious bite of your lunch,' says Burton. Also, treat yourself to three little things each day that make you happy, whether it's meeting a friend for a mani or walking by your cute co-worker's office just to get a glimpse.
 

Remember, there are some eventualities you can prepare for, so do! 'Find a product or accessory that will solve bad-hair days and invest in a standby "fat-day outfit" that conceals your lumpy bits and makes you look fabulous,' says Righton. Having a reliable fix on hand will stop you blowing problems out of proportion when they occur.

Not everybody has the ability to conjure up covetous feelings. 'It may not bother you that an acquaintance or someone older has something you don't,' says psychologist, Dr Linda Centeno. But when it's a friend or a person on your level, it can be harder to take, because you feel you deserve the same things. Kerri*, 25, can relate. 'My boss has lots of designer bags, and it does bug me because she's reached a place where she should have them,' she says. 'But when my friend got a raise and bought a Louis Vuitton bag, I was jealous because I can't afford one.'

More often than not, envy stems from insecurity. And everyone has an Achilles' heel - whether it relates to the size of their bank account or the size of their butt. So when another woman offers up that she inherited money from her great-aunt or that she dropped two pants sizes, it can magnify feelings of inadequacy. 'Women tend to compare themselves to others,' says Dr Polly Young-Eisendrath, author of The Self-Esteem Trap (Little, Brown and Company). 'And how they stack up can affect their self-esteem.'
 

As Hakim explains, 'I combine four different techniques - Thai massage, acro yoga, sports massage and relaxation massage. My aim is to promote healing by getting the mind, body and spirit to reach a level of homeostasis. I have found that these treatments, when used together, become an amazing journey into health and well-being.'

While regular massage may sometimes focus more on the physical, Thai Sport Yoga massage has a big emotional/psychological component, which makes it a great option for anyone who is suffering from stress, angst or is in the throes of emotional distress, and the 'holding' element, where your body weight is supported, has significant health benefits. As Hakim explains, 'Studies have shown that holding and hugging lower blood pressure reduces the risk of heart disease. Hugging also relieves stress and makes you feel calmer through increasing oxytocin, a hormone responsible for making us feel calmer and less anxious.'
 

Okay, so you can at least tell your BFF right? Nope. By not telling anyone, you're making sure your goal is something you're really doing for yourself. That's opposed to, say, just wanting to have something impressive to talk about at parties. Plus, you won't run the risk of letting anyone else's opinions get in your way. 'What stops a lot of people from doing the things they dream of is other people,' says life coach, Susan B Wilson. 'If you tell someone you want to apply for a post-graduate degree, they may go on about how terrible the campus is… and you may start to believe them when you really should be trusting your own gut.'

Beyond that, loved ones may have ulterior motives for being naysayers. If you announce that you're going to be devoting tons of time to a big goal, a good friend or your significant other may worry that he or she will see less of you and subconsciously distract you from the finish line. Two more reasons why keeping your dream a secret will help your cause: You'll be so antsy to finally be able to share it with everyone that you'll put your nose to the grindstone and get it done as fast as possible. And doing something just for you feels selfish in a really good way. 'Women tend to overextend themselves for loved ones,' says psychologist Dr Lucy Jo Palladino, author of Find Your Focus Zone (Free Press). 'So if they can have something that is solely theirs, it can feel really special.'
 

You know that party where everyone is beautiful, the champagne flows, the music is perfect and people dance till sunrise? No? Neither does anyone else. You get good parties, and you get lame parties, and the difference is largely about chemistry and luck. Put the right people together who are in the right mood, and it doesn't matter if you only have plonk and the Best of the Eighties – it will be the most fun anyone's had in ages. Likewise, your venue, food and DJ can be awesome, but for some reason the party never quite 'takes off.' If you find yourself at an event that's not great, you chances of finding a better one around the corner are pretty slim. A much better option is to make the most of the place you're at – find somebody interesting to talk to, enjoy the snacks on offer - and then call it a night.

1. Learn the rules: Get to grips with the ins and outs of Twitter before you dive in. Educate yourself on retweeting, hash tags, following, direct messages, character limits, and any other concepts that may sound foreign. You'll get the hang of it as you tweet more and more, but it's a good idea to go in there at least semi-fluent in RT, PRT, DM, #FF, and all the rest.

2. Don't link your networks: Facebook and Twitter are two very different platforms with different audiences and mechanisms. On Twitter, it's okay (if not encouraged) to do very frequent updates, but this kind of self-indulgence will drive your Facebook friends mad. Moreover, things like hash tags do not work on Facebook, so you will just look silly.

3. Watch your mouth! Twitter is a great platform for discussing topical issues, but resist the urge to swear, use hate speech or be offensive in any way. You never know if a potential employer is going through your updates to get an idea of your character (never mind the fact that it's not very nice).

4. Be careful. Don't give your information to people you don't know, and do not list it in your bio or a tweet, like whether you are home alone, where exactly you are (be wary of Foursquare!), and other details that could help strangers find you. At the same time, be careful of posting activities for which you could get into trouble.

5. Do not feed the trolls: Social media is like road rage because the lack of face-to-face interaction means there is less accountability. For this reason, many people will attack you, take things out of context, and behave in downright infuriating ways. Do not take the bait. Know when to walk away and laugh it off, not for your social media status, but for your own sanity.
 

Life is never static, especially when you are young. And with so much happening and changing, expecting your friendship to remain constant is unrealistic. Sometimes you'll be super-tight; other times less so. The most important thing is to keep some kind of communication going – even if it's just the odd SMS or message on Facebook – to let her know she's in your thoughts. And don't panic or read too much into it if time passes with no contact; she's not going anywhere, and neither are you.

The first step is to figure out where you stand on the spectrum of risk taking, or fearlessness. Psychologist, Dr Frank Farley devised a T scale (the T stands for 'thrill') to describe the distinction: At one end is the Type T, and at the other is Type t. 'Type T's are natural-born thrill seekers who live for excitement and uncertainty,' Farley says. 'These people often do their finest work in periods of flux. They view chaos as an opportunity for change. While other people get nervous and avoid trying anything different, they take action.'

Clearly, this is a good moment to be Type T. What's really key about T's is that they believe they control their own fate rather than being the victim of it. Type t's, on the other hand, are risk-averse and most comfortable when they're sticking to the rules.

So, naturally, you'll want to harness some of that Type T action… and you can. A person's fearless inclinations, says Farley, are about 40% to 60% inheritable, which leaves a lot of room for adjustment.
 

Ja, your macaroni cheese with bacon might be amazeballs, but if your name is not Heston Blumenthal, posting a pic of your every meal makes you look like a sad loser. Yes, you eat – we know. But unless there is something super-special about the plate of food in front of you, don't photograph it – and don't post it.

Yesterday's paper lying around? Instead of shoving it in the bin, tear it into shreds. Researchers have proven that the rhythmic motion of ripping up paper can dramatically reduce your stress levels. This applies to all repetitive activity that requires eye-hand coordination, eg doodling, knitting, scrap-booking, gardening, polishing and even washing the dishes. Giving your brain a rest from the chaos by focusing your attention on a relaxing physical activity will significantly slow your heart rate and lower your blood pressure.

Invest in a standard lamp timer that you can rig to any table lamp, and set it for half an hour before you need to get up. The light activates the natural chemicals that regulate waking up. Just keep a regular alarm set to prevent oversleeping until you're accustomed to your new routine.
- Barbara Flanagan, author of Flanagan's Smart Home: The 98 Essentials For Starting Out, Starting Over, Scaling Back (Workman Publishing Company)

'This is the multitasking generation' says psychologist Dr Dale Atkins - author of Sanity Savers (Avon A), 'and many people feel they're being more productive when they do several things at once.' But in fact, the opposite is true: Research has shown that a 50-minute task takes four times as long to accomplish if you're juggling too many things simultaneously. You also can't think creatively when you're multitasking, says Atkins, because 'the process gets interrupted. Creativity comes in bursts and in silence. If you don't have any downtime, you can't think outside the box.' Here are some ways to calm the chaos:

• Clear your desk of everything except the one project you're focusing on, says Atkins. If you can't work on only one project at a time, says Nolen-Hoeksema, at least compartmentalise your day - break it into morning and afternoon or into two-hour chunks.
• Ask your boss to help you prioritise, if necessary: 'I can have this done by 5, but it means I won't have that other project done until tomorrow. Which do you prefer I focus on?'
• Force yourself to schedule tasks by deadline, and then do them in order (e.g. don't let yourself obsess about next week's task when your mind is still on this week's assignment).
 

A study found that when making simple choices (like what cereal to buy), it pays to be rational. But when it comes to bigger ones (like which job to take), you're better off listening to your instincts. That's not to say you should buy a car on a whim, but if you have weighed the pros and cons and still can't reach a conclusion, let your snap judgment be the tie-breaker and go with what just feels right.

Like, gym girl. Sure, you might not see her when she stands sideways, but you have no idea what's going on in her life. Maybe her mom is ill; maybe her fiancee is a serial cheater; maybe she has no idea what she wants to do with her life and cries herself to sleep at night. Don't compare your 'inside' with other peoples' 'outside' - everyone has problems, frustrations, and stuff they're dealing with. Maybe she looks at you and thinks, 'I bet she has a great job. Why am I so pathetic?' Remember that thing about books and covers? It's true. Be the best you can be, and forget about everyone else.

Yes, it's a lie - you wouldn't love to dog-sit your cousin's demented Weimarana while she takes a road trip to Nieu Bethesda, but saying this softens the blow. Then, (quickly) think up a viable reason why it won't work, sticking as close to the truth as possible. If you're caught off-guard and can't think of anything, don't deliver a knee-jerk 'Erm... okay' which will be hard to go back on later. Rather, tell her you'll think about it and get back to her ASAP. This gives you time to find a way of saying 'No way, José! - gently.

Some things are guaranteed to start a chain reaction, and meeting someone special always registers high on the Richter scale. But whether love's long-term effect is good or bad depends a little on luck, and a lot on you. You know the upside: by date two, you're walking taller, you sparkle with new energy, you bag a promotion and two months later he moves in. Happily ever after has begun. 'So how come, soon after we met, I lost my job'?' asks Anne*, a woman in her twenties. 'Then I could no longer afford my new flat. Then I got food poisoning. And then he turned out to be married!' It may sound harsh but, out of all this, only the food poisoning was a total accident. Maybe it was love that distracted Anne at work? And who's to say she would have rented such an expensive flat if she didn't hope he might move in with her? Looking back a year later, with a new job and a shared flat, Anne can see the signs she missed: broken dates; his avoidance of public places. If she'd been less hasty, maybe she could have avoided the series of mini-shocks that went on to rock her world.

How To Stay Upright: Slowing down love's first, fabulous impetus does not spoil it; it can make love's tremors more positive in the long run. Hang on to old friends and original aims, and you'll channel love's power into happy happenings for a lifetime.

The blaring beep of an alarm is jarring and makes you tense up - not the best way to start off. Instead, find a clock that gently rouses you with a soft tune. Studies have found that peaceful music (think classical or mellow indie tunes) can actually lower your heart rate and help soothe you. Just change what plays every few weeks so your brain doesn't get numb and allow you to snooze right through it.

In an ideal world and in the movies, when a crisis arises and help is needed, friends put everything aside and rally. But in real life, people have complicated lives and problems of their own, and sometimes they're simply not able to be there for you when you need them. You have a huge fight with your mom on the evening your oldest friend is preparing for an important presentation and she doesn't have time to listen to you rant for an hour? As long as she's there for the biggies, let it slide. It's not always about you.

You’re perfectly comfortable with friends and colleagues alike. But, when faced with a room full of new people, your confidence heads for the door.

Fill It: Be Ordinary
When you’re out with friends, you don’t spend the whole night trying to be ‘interesting’, do you? Apply the same relaxed confidence to dealing with strangers and you’ll shine without trying. ‘The first step is to seek out someone who’s also shy and work the room together,’ advises Sarah. Keep the conversation simple. ‘Stick to ice breakers that require more than a yes/no answer, but the more ordinary, the better, like 'How's your day been so far?' Your laid-back approach will quickly put you all at ease.

Launch Pad
Create a space next to your main point of entry/exit for things that are traveling in and out of the house with you. When you come in, dump keys, cell phone and handbag in that area, ready for you to pick up again as you race out.

Follow what comes naturally
Don’t complicate things. If you always drop your towel on the floor in the passage, that’s where you need a hook or a rail. If you leave your shoes next to your bed, put a shoe rack against the nearest wall so that putting them away becomes easy.

Zone it
Just like a pre-school classroom has different areas for fancy dress, reading and playing house, you need to designate zones within your rooms. Have a special chair where you play on your iPad? Keep it (and its charger) on the little table next-door. Keeping items where you use them saves time and makes putting things back in their place simple.