He's amazing. And the relationship could easily have the background score of a heart-tugging romance movie. So how come you and your man aren't setting the bed a-blaze? It's not that he lacks skill or you two aren't destined to be together: more likely, you're not taking the time and effort it takes to get in synch with each other physically. 'Most couples assume that if they click romantically, they should instantly click in the bedroom too,' says US-based sex therapist, Dr Peter Kanaris. 'But it takes practice to get in sync with each other.' Read on for the four obstacles that may be plaguing you and your guy, plus simple solutions to help you can burn up the bed-springs.
|1. You Suffer From New Couple-ness
||'When my current guy and I first got naked, I assumed I'd 'wow' him with all the tricks that thrilled my ex,' recalls Jessica*, 22. 'But he wasn't impressed with my trusty repertoire – if I stroked one spot, he'd ask me to inch over a bit or press harder. We're still trying to smooth things out.'
Why are things not sizzling between Jessica and her boyfriend? Call it force-fed passion. 'A lot of new twosomes so badly want to connect during sex that they try too hard to impress each other, relying on manoeuvres that worked on a past partner or something they picked up watching a movie,' says Kanaris.
Instead of choreographing your moves, let the natural sexual tension build slowly. 'Tell him you just want to fool around and explore each other's bodies with no goal in mind,' suggests Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex (Hunter House). Once you discover what turns you both on, use those moves as a starting point for more sensual, spontaneous and effortless sex.
|2. His Erotic Efforts Leave You Longing
|3. Your Sexual Styles Differ
|4. Your Bodies Don't Mould