It used to be that a glass of wine on the weekend would put some kick into your sex life. But now, keeping excitement alive requires more. 'The availability of online porn has normalised kinkier sex,' says sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of
Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man. Men have anaesthetised to mild naughtiness, so they crave kicking things up a notch with role-playing, participating in light bondage, or other risqué tricks.
This is especially true for older guys. 'The older a man is, the more experience he's had,' notes Barbara Keesling, author of
Men in Bed. But broadening your boundaries need not involve whips or chains. Anything non-routine will fire you both up by increasing production of the brain's feel-good chemicals adrenaline and dopamine. These erotic ideas are just what you need:
| Get (a Little Bit) Rough |
Exploring new sexual terrain can be a little intimidating. Our tips will relieve awkward moments.
• Do It At Yours: You may feel more at ease pushing the envelope in your own home. Add extra ambience with dimmed lighting and music.
• Wear Ultra-Sexy Lingerie: Wearing hot underwear while dabbling in uncharted territory can help you feel 'in character'.
• Create a Safe Word: Before you get it on, decide on a word for 'Stop'. Or, simply, never be afraid to say just that.
• Discuss Your Desires: Sharing your fantasies prior to sex prevents any awkward moments and miscommunication. Bear in mind, just talking about what you want to do to each other is erotic.
• Take Baby Steps In The Beginning: Ease into naughtier play with small changes - tweak a position or have sex on the kitchen bench instead of the couch. |
| Shock His Jocks Off... |
| Be a Little Kinky |
| Engage In Public Displays of Eroticism… |
| Explore Tempting New Territory |
| Working Out The Kinks… |