It used to be that a glass of wine on the weekend would put some kick into your sex life. But now, keeping excitement alive requires more. 'The availability of online porn has normalised kinkier sex,' says sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man
. Men have anaesthetised to mild naughtiness, so they crave kicking things up a notch with role-playing, participating in light bondage, or other risqué tricks.
This is especially true for older guys. 'The older a man is, the more experience he's had,' notes Barbara Keesling, author of Men in Bed
. But broadening your boundaries need not involve whips or chains. Anything non-routine will fire you both up by increasing production of the brain's feel-good chemicals adrenaline and dopamine. These erotic ideas are just what you need:
|Get (a Little Bit) Rough
||You can raise the bad-girl bar without ever coming close to flying some sort of freak flag. 'Anything that's somewhat taboo (pretending you're strangers, for example) makes a guy feel like he's being naughty, which is very exciting,' says Kerner.
• During woman-on-top sex use a tie or scarf to bind his hands over his head, rendering him (happily) helpless. 'When a woman takes over in bed, the guy feels an incredible release of pressure,' says Keesling. 'There’s no performance anxiety. He can just lie back and enjoy the ride, and you can set the pace and depth to your liking.'
• Tell him to get naked and sit on his hands for 60 seconds. Straddle his lap, sliding your V-zone against the head of his penis. This will get him so aroused he'll be dying to touch you… but he's not allowed. The feeling of being in charge will turn you on and make him feel like he's going to burst (in a good way).
• Add a jolt of excitement by engaging in a little role-play. Pretend to be a masseuse. Have him lie face down on the bed naked, with just a sheet covering his lower body. Undress in another room, knock on the bedroom door and introduce yourself as his masseuse. Use oil to give him a back and butt massage. Ask him to turn over and continue the massage on his front. When you get to his package, take it in your hand and provide a happy ending… or straddle him for mutual fun.
|Shock His Jocks Off...
|Be a Little Kinky
|Engage In Public Displays of Eroticism…
|Explore Tempting New Territory
|Working Out The Kinks…