Like to swing from the chandelier? You were probably born in February. Find out what your sign says about you as a lover.
CAPRICORN |
AQUARIUS |
PISCES |
ARIES |
TAURUS |
GEMINI |
CANCER |
LEO |
VIRGO |
LIBRA |
SCORPIO |
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
Steady, loyal and practical, Capricorn sex is all about planning, says
Stefan Stenudd, Swedish astrologer and author. You are not the type to be caught having a quickie in the walk-in fridge or swing from chandeliers, and a man mustn't even think about whipping out the latex or weird-looking things that buzz. For you, sex must follow the same pattern, and there must be plenty of foreplay. While you might concede to a spontaneous tryst in the beginning so as not to appear stuffy (yes, Cappy, admit it: you are a little stuffy), you're much more comfortable with a nice dinner followed by sex at your place. In bed, where you know the sheets are clean and your toothbrush is close at hand.
FAVOURITE POSITION: missionary sex.
AQUARIUS
You non-conformists, on the other hand, probably invented chandelier sex. Why have sex in bed when there are beaches, limos, cupboards and all sorts of interesting places to exchange bodily fluids? Your lover has a hard time reading you, but is rather intrigued by your dramatic sequins-and-feathers approach to lovemaking. Spontaneity is your middle name, and nothing bores you more than a guy who sticks to the same routine. You're also inclined towards stubbornness, says Cape Town astrologer, Denise Capel. You're mysterious and can be a little bit flighty, and where the romance is going is anybody's guess. You're far more concerned about where you put that tube of glitter glue.
FAVOURITE POSITION: swinging-from-the-ceiling.
PISCES
The silvery fish is very sensitive to the needs of her partner - to the point of forgetting about her own needs, explains Stenudd (take it from us: giving him a blowjob does not qualify as foreplay for a woman, whatever he might tell you). In fact, says Stenudd, Pisceans need a lot of play beforehand, and are quite happy to pass on the intercourse altogether. You love the cuddly, romantic aspect of sex more than the hard-core bangy part, but as a natural pleaser, you'll do whatever your partner wants. If there's a girl who'll agree to swinging, an episode on channel two or performing a blowjob in a movie theatre, she's probably a Piscean. But not because she's a sex fiend, she's just easygoing and likes to make people happy.
FAVOURITE POSITION: his favourite position.
ARIES
You'll show up with the condom (ribbed), initiate sex and order him around like a sergeant major. And before he can say 'How high?' you're done, and ready to go at it again. And this time you whip out an enormous vibrator and tell him exactly how to use it. Says Stenudd, Ariens are conquerors, with a sex drive that'll make most men quake in their boots - or very happy, depending on how brave they are. This sign is the queen of wham-bam sex, and if he's not hitting the spot, you'll just do it yourself, and he can watch and learn. Arien women want a man with a capital 'M', so if you're one of those metrosexual types who wears guyliner and cries easily, don't bark up this tree. Oh, and there are some issues with faithfulness, warns Capel.
FAVOURITE POSITION: on top.
TAURUS
We hope he had his Jungle Oats this morning, because Taurean women are not easily satisfied. He'll have to work hard to get you aroused, and then harder still to take you across the winning line. Tending towards laziness as lovers, Taurus is not eager to seduce - or be seduced. You'd rather sit down to a gourmet meal and then cuddle up on a big, comfy couch and watch a DVD. To get down and dirty with you, he'll have to be patient and persistent, says Stenudd. But if he succeeds, Taureans are loyal, steady and dependable partners. As the ultimate epicurean, he might have to throw in a massage or two before you'll let him have his way. It'll be worth the effort in the end.
FAVOURITE POSITION: any one where she gets to lie down while he does all the work.
GEMINI
One day she worships the ground you walk on, the next she barely acknowledges your existence. You're confused? Welcome to life with the twin. Gemini treats everything light-heartedly, including relationships. To her, sex is just a game and there's no reason in the world to get all serious about things. These women tend to fall in love at first sight, but then get turned off just as quickly, explains Capel. While her lovers might get offended by her refusal to prioritise them over other aspects of her life, her great sense of humour ensures that sex is always fun and uplifting. But don't draw it out too much; she has a short attention span. You can't hang around the next morning? That's fine by her. In fact, she has plans to go surfing, so best you hurry on out the door. And don't call her, she'll call you.
FAVOURITE POSITION: the spoon (so she can feel like one of a twin)
CANCER
Uh-oh, get the tissues ready, cancer has entered the bedroom... Whatever you do, do not criticise the sensitive little crab if you want to get your rocks off. Her new haircut is horrible? Lie, lie, lie. And be prepared for some marathon cuddling. Possessive Cancerians take sex very seriously, and the very concept of a one-night stand appals them. They will only sleep with you if they feel safe and loved, so don't even bother buying condoms until you've at least discussed wedding venues. Crabs are known to initiate lovemaking in order to get the closeness and intimacy they crave; although, says Capel, they are actually more addicted to sex than most other signs. Once you earn their trust, these funny, quirky human beings make delightfully intuitive (if slightly bossy) bed partners. But be prepared to put in some hard emotional graft...
FAVOURITE POSITION: close. Very close.
LEO
Lay down the red carpet – we have royalty in our midst. As the reigning queen of the zodiac, the Leo lover expects to be courted if you're going to be lucky enough to lure her into your bed. Think: French champagne, roses and something small and sparkly before she'll deign to consider your proposal. And if you've proven your mettle and entered her lair, be prepared to do a lot of fawning and adoring. She'll expect to be admired, but on the upside, she is just as eager to impress. Says Stenudd, 'To Leo, sex is a kind of performance, which should end with applause.' So, don't forget to clap when she does everything perfectly. But once you've won her over, her warm, sunny and generous nature will make it all worthwhile.
FAVOURITE POSITION: cunnilingus (she likes the bowing aspect).
VIRGO
'Are there tissues next to the bed, and is my T-shirt getting creased?' are what concerns the ultra-neat, verging-on-pristine Virgo woman during sex. Says Stenudd, 'Virgins are careful lovers who pay attention to every detail, and lovemaking happens by the book.' Don't show up unannounced in latex undies with a whip - she's not having any of that. As Stenudd explains, Virgos need to have some control over the situation, and want to learn what their partner wants, as well as teaching them how to return the favour. So, if anyone is going to wield a whip, it will be her. It might feel like you're shagging a sex coach and be more technical than spontaneous and romantic, but at least he'll know exactly what she likes and dislikes. And, as Stenudd assures, in the end it will do the trick.
FAVOURITE POSITION: the reverse cowboy (best position to hit the g-spot).
LIBRA
As the arch manipulator of the zodiac, you know instinctively how to make everyone like you and do what you want, says Capel. 'You attract men to you like a magnet and, being, highly sexed, could easily find yourself committed before you realise it. Then comes the difficulty of extricating yourself, especially if the guy doesn't match your intellect.' You're an expert lover, but can be cool emotionally and, in accordance with the Libran tendency towards fairness, sexual favours will be apportioned equally. Librans are perfectionists, so you can rest assured that the sex will be good. Libran woman are an interesting combination of forcefulness and hesitance – the essential push-pull that keeps men on their toes.
FAVOURITE POSITION: the one involving acrobatics so you can show off how clever you are.
SCORPIO
This sign oozes sex, burns up beds and will give any man a run for his money. Just don't let him dare be disloyal because love will turn to hate in a heartbeat, and this girl's sting is scary, warns Capel. Scorpio women have an inner magnetism that attracts guys to them, but also makes them forget how dangerous she actually is. But put a foot wrong, and you'll be zapped. While she's sensitive and strong, she is also extremely intense which makes her an exciting lover. But if you were planning on leaving without leaving her number, you'd better get out of there quickly – and watch your back for the next while. A scorned Scorpion is hell-bent on revenge. She’s also secretive and suspicious, so don’t expect her to reveal much about herself, but she’ll be very inquisitive about you. Keep your nose clean at all times.
FAVOURITE POSITION: all of them.
SAGITTARIUS
He's a little under-endowed? Make no mistake, the Sag girl will let him know. These women can be shockingly honest and direct. But as lovers, they tend to be elusive and seemingly unattached by longing and lust, says Stenudd. Her man might arrive on her doorstep, all ready to propose, only to find a note saying she's left for Machu Picchu. Sag women are adventurers, explains Capel, who are somehow less constrained by the pressures of marriage and children, and they safeguard their freedom. As they don't do things by the book, they are also difficult to seduce. But this just adds to their mystery and appeal. Says Stenudd, 'Sex might be quick, as if meaning nothing, but at the spur of the moment it can become as intense as a forest fire.'
FAVOURITE POSITION: anything different to last time.