Ever wonder why some guys bring on butterflies, while others – even cute ones – leave you cold? Or why, out of nowhere, you develop a crush on a platonic guy friend? The forces that rule your attractions are not as random as you might think.
While there’s no magical formula to explain why we fall for the people we do, Helen Fisher, author of
Why We Love (Holt McDougal), says, ‘There are several levels on which people connect, from the sociological to psychological. Childhood experiences and biological makeup also play a role in who you’re drawn to.’
Read on for a closer look at the mysterious ways your personal love magnet dictates who you should fall for.
| Understanding Instant Attraction |
A friendship can simmer between good friends for years before it ignites into something more. But your sudden urge to shag your best guy friend hasn’t come totally out of the blue. ‘For a friendship to escalate, there must be some physical attraction already, because you can’t fake that. Much of the rest is really just timing,’ says Paul Dobransky, co-author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love (Plume Books).
The turning point for this new phase isn’t that you suddenly want something different – it’s that your male friend is able to provide something different. The shift could be a lifestyle change – his new job might bring out a side to him you hadn’t seen before. In fact, some guys turn into relationship material after a milestone makes them grow up – a breakup, a parent’s death or a friend’s wedding. ‘When you see a new side of a person, it ups the dopamine activity in your brain, and the excitement can push you towards romantic love,’ says Fisher.
Or it could just be that you’re both finally single and see each other as eligible… and appealing. |
| Why Butterflies Increase Intimacy |
| Your Parents’ Influence |
| The Power of Scents |
| The Science of Slow-Burning Love |