Why He Didn't Call

Ever given a guy your number only to have him not use it? You probably chalked it up to his being stupid and insensitive. But there are several other excuses, uhm reasons, that guy don’t make contact. A few may even make you see that men are sometimes the real victims here!

Every guy who takes a number from a woman is secretly wondering if he got slipped a fake one. Since it would be humiliating to have that fear come true, some guys won’t even risk picking up the receiver. The deciding factor: whether you seemed genuinely interested. ‘I was having fun with this girl at a bar, but she seemed blasé about everything,’ recalls Jim, 29*. ‘So I figured she was working me for a free drink and I never called, even though I got her card.’ Hint: Skip the ambiguous attitude and say you’re really looking forward to hearing from him. That is, if you really are.

Attached guys often wonder if they’ve still ‘got it’. So once they score your number and prove they’re The Man, the mission is accomplished. ‘Even though I have a serious girlfriend, I chat up girls and get their numbers,’ admits Rich, 31. ‘I’m not a dog – I’d never actually act on it, but it’s nice to know I’m still attractive. Besides, if my girl and I ever broke up, I’m not out of practice.’ Here’s a case where you can take comfort in the fact that the guy didn’t call you.

Sometimes we’re lucky if we can find our way home from the bar, let alone track down the napkin we scrawled your number on. Another viable scenario: He may have dropped his cell into the toilet during an ‘I scored her number’ victory dance. Trust me, it happens. Dave, 23, has had tech issues: ‘I put a girl’s number in my new cellphone and was trying to save a picture I took of her when I erased everything by accident,’ he says. ‘I couldn’t track her down because all I had was a first name.’ So isn’t it better to ring him (you got his number, right?) than to go to your grave wondering what-if?

Now the harshest reason: He only asked for your number so he could spare your feelings and slink away. It may sound inconsiderate and even cruel, but what’s the alternative – having an awkward conversation about how we don’t feel a connection? Sometimes initiating the information exchange is the only painless exit option. Just ask Jeff, 23. ‘I was talking to a girl at a party for two hours,’ he says. ‘She was cool and I liked her, but I wasn’t attracted to her. So I told her I’d call her sometime just to end the conversation, even though I never intended to call.’ Nobody said the truth was going to be pretty.

*Names have been changed.

Author: Jason Sheftell