Men often wonder where - and how - to touch you. Sex therapist, Dr Ian Kerner, offers advice for setting them straight.
In my 14 years as a sex therapist and author, I've asked thousands of men where a woman's clitoris is, and more than half of them believe (incorrectly!) that it's located deep within the vagina. That may not be a shock - chances are, you've been with a guy who couldn't conceal his clitoral cluelessness. But you might wonder where the puzzlement stems from. Well, you can blame it on everything from tall tales told in changing rooms to ex-girlfriends who faked it to the boggling female body with its small, sometimes, hidden parts. Even if a guy makes it into the vicinity of this important pleasure zone, he could still miss the mark because he is too nervous to really check you out down there or doesn't get how to stroke you right. Or logistics, such as the room being too dark, prevent it. But if your man's what I call 'ill-cliterate', don't write him off as a lost cause - there are ways to school him gently on the techniques that cause your toes to curl. Try these:
| Fine-Tune His Touch |
During foreplay guide his hand to your clitoris, and show him how to touch you with the rhythm and firmness you like. Men are goal-oriented, so they often figure the faster and harder they work it down there, the more powerful your orgasm will be. Of course, it's not that simple, which is why it's important for you to set the tone. Try pressing and releasing his fingertip against your clitoris several times, then use his finger to make small circles in either direction to hit all of your nerves. For a twist that will turn you both on, lie facing each other, take his penis, and use the tip of it to demonstrate how you like your clitoris to be touched (you might want to apply a water-based lube first). |
| Improve His Oral Skills |
| Manipulate His Main-Event Moves |