It’s anyone’s guess where they originally came from, but there are a number of universally accepted laws of loving that we all seem to think we should abide by. A few of these couple commandments are actually valid (your best friend’s boyfriend is off limits); others are totally bogus, and your relationship will be better off if you break them.
‘Instead of blindly adhering to possibly outdated standards, consider how couples really function in today’s world, and act accordingly,’ says psychotherapist Dr Lynn Ianni. The trick is figuring out which love laws help bolster your connection and which ones should be banned.
Not quite sure? Don’t worry, we’ve compiled the five dating doctrines you need to ditch this instant!
| Rule 1: You Should Tell Him Everything |
WHY YOU SHOULD BREAK IT: There’s no reason to cut off contact with someone you genuinely care about. Just because it didn’t work out between you doesn’t mean you have to hate each other. ‘You date someone who has qualities that you appreciate and enjoy,’ says Pepper Schwartz, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex is Wrong (Perigee Books). ‘Even if you didn’t succeed as a couple, you may still like each other as friends.’
However, there are certain codes of conduct you need to respect. First, keep the friendship casual. ‘Refrain from doing anything that would make your current boyfriend feel threatened or jealous,’ Rhoades says.
Secondly, make sure it’s clear to your current partner that you no longer have romantic feelings for your ex. Try a threesome in the platonic sense, of course! Instead of catching up with your ex one on one, invite your boyfriend along. ‘Including him shows you and your ex really are just friends, and have nothing to hide,’ says Rhoades. |
| Rule 2: You Can’t Perve On Anyone Else |
| Rule 3: Sex Always Has To Be Spontaneous |
| Rule 4: You Have To Resolve Every Conflict |
| Rule 5: You Need To Ditch Your Exes |