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Reconnect After a Fight

What's more nerve-wracking than a knock-down, drag-out fight with your guy? The hours or days after you've made up, but before you're back to your usual level of closeness... Though no longer actively angry, you are uncomfortably detached from each other; and worse, unsure how to get on track again. One thing you can't count on: his taking the reconnecting reins. 'Women have higher levels of oestrogen and oxytocin, hormones that promote bonding,' says Dr John C Friel, co-author of The 7 Best Things (Happy) Couples Do (HCI), 'so they're more likely to try to repair the relationship.' Here, some advice for speeding past the awkward stage.

Zip Your Lips If the post-quarrel chill has him saying little besides 'Please pass the salt,' your instinct may be to sit him down for a talk about why he's not talking. Resist - he's not up for another heavy discussion. Instead, do something fun with him. Hit a hiking trail, explore a neighbourhood market, or dance in the living room. 'The activity draws your attention away from the fight,' explains Friel, and will get you chatting naturally. Then say 'Hey, I'm sorry we fought. I hate arguing with you.' The key: 'Keep it short,' says Dr Allen Berger, author of Love Secrets Revealed (HCI). If there are lingering unresolved issues, bring them up later.
Suck Up
Try a Little Touching
Do Your Own Thing
Focus On The Future

Author: Molly Triffin
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