Ashley Cole cheated on his wife, Girls Aloud singer Cheryl, with
five mistresses before she found out. John Terry hooked up with one of his wife's best friends without her suspecting a thing. And there's nothing more we can say about the
Tiger Woods/Elin Nordigrin saga.
These ladies didn't have a clue when it came to spotting love rats, but that doesn't have to be your fate. Below, Johannesburg psychologist
Dr Janne Dannerup shares 20 tips to help you decode potential love-rat behaviour.
1. If he seems
distracted, distant, defensive, tense or more aggressive, it could mean he's hiding something. Trust your instincts and communicate with him about how you're feeling.
2.
Coming home later than usual doesn't necessarily mean he's always working late, especially if it happens on specific days only.
3. When he doesn't seem as
interested in intimacy with you anymore, it could be a sign he's more interested in what's happening under the covers someplace else.
4. Watch his
shower patterns. If he showers immediately when he gets home or comes home smelling like he's just had a shower (and he hasn't come from the gym), he could be trying to rid himself of an unfamiliar smell.
5. Speaking of
unfamiliar smells, if he starts smelling different and it's not the new cologne you bought him, you may want to pay closer attention to his behaviour.
6.
Hiding or guarding his phone, setting it to silent or just vibrate, checking his phone often or deleting his call register or Inbox could mean he's trying to hide something.
7. While he doesn't have to allow you access to his Facebook account, suddenly
switching off his laptop when you come into the room or getting up late at night once you're asleep to Skype is not cool.
8. When he uses 'have fun with the girls tonight' as an
excuse to go out with people he refuses to introduce you to, you should start asking questions.
9. If he comes home with a
new haircut and handfuls of designer shopping bags and then
spends extra hours in the gym (when he usually sits on the couch in front of the TV), keep those questions coming.
10. And if you ask him what's up with the new Lacoste shirts and pointy leather shoes and he
avoids answering your questions, the warning bells should really start ringing.
11. If you're used to talking about each other's finances and he begins
hiding his bank statements from you, he may be keeping your eyes from spotting those romantic dinners for two... without you.
12. If he starts questioning
you and
accusing you of cheating, it may be a sign he's actually the one being unfaithful. His guilt can lead him to suspect that you're doing exactly what's he's doing.
13. If you find a pair of tacky, satin 'I Love You' boxers in his drawer, which neither you nor his mother gave him, make sure to ask him who was in such a
gift-giving mood.
14.
Changes in kissing style, the way he touches you or a sudden interest in exotic sex positions doesn't necessarily mean he's had a look at the latest issue of COSMO…
15.
Lying about insignificant things is a sign he might be hiding a bigger secret.
16. Listen out for the number of words he uses when you're speaking to each other. If he is
less verbally and physically expressive, he might be feeling guilty about something
.
17. Watch his
body language. Avoiding your eyes, touching his face and shrugging his shoulders more than usual are signs of deceitfulness.
18. If he gets a phone call and ignores it because you're sitting right next to him, you need to ask why he's need to
ignore the call?
19. Lastly, if he
stops appreciating and starts criticising you, get out. Immediately. He may flip a 360 and say it was you who drove him away in the end.