Be honest – when you broke up with your last boyfriend, did your friends: a) offer to set you up with a male friend; b) order commiseration wine; or c) ask what took you so long to realise he was a loser... again?
If your answer is c), you may be caught in a frustrating, but fairly common, phenomenon – amazing women who date men who can’t hold a candle to them (think Anne Hathaway). ‘[Some men] will drag you down and ultimately hold you back from happiness,’ says Debbie Magids, co-author of
All the Good Ones Aren’t Taken (St Martin’s Griffin). Since habits are hard to break, here’s a plan to help you lose hopeless guys for good:
| 1. GO ON A DATING DIET |
A lot of women who repeatedly date losers suffer good-girl syndrome. They know a guy is acting like a total prick and put up with it because they either don’t want to risk losing him or are under the illusion they can change his behaviour, explains Dunn. ‘The moment you realise a guy is bad news, you must cut him loose,’ adds Van Epp. ‘You can’t let yourself believe things will turn out different this time.’
Having trouble losing him? Imagine what you’d say to a friend if she were in this scenario. ‘Women will often throw down the gauntlet for a friend but hesitate to stand up for themselves as ruthlessly,’ says Dunn. So if you’d want her to tell the guy to eff off, you tell the guy to eff off. Sure, it’s hard when it doesn’t work out, but ending it frees you up to pursue better options. |
| 2. DEVELOP YOUR LOSER RADAR |
| 3. BREAK OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE |
| 4. HAVE A REALITY CHECK |
| 5. UNLEASH YOUR INNER BITCH |