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Tamara Schlesinger

Are You a Boring Date?

You know you’re amazing. Your Mom keeps telling you how special you are and your friends think you’re fantastic. But how do you bring this all out when you’re on a first date?

The most important thing to remember is be yourself, says life and relationship coach, Shelley Lewin, because life is too short to be anyone else. ‘You will find your best match when you are brave enough to be authentic about who you are.’

While we all know how nerve-wracking first dates can be, don’t go in worrying about whether you’ll have anything in common or thinking you’re going to have nothing to say to each other. Think of the first date as an opportunity to screen and assess whether you want to go on another date with him, not the other way around, says Lewin. Focus on talking about each other’s passions, interests and hobbies, she adds, that way you can find out if you share common interests, which in turn can help you decide whether you’re interested in setting up a second date.

Be warm and friendly and remember to smile, recommends Lewin. ‘Be curious about him – most people like to talk about themselves and enjoy having someone show an interest in them.’ Most importantly though, she explains, is to be real and true to who you are. ‘If your date doesn’t like it – good riddance! Rather be alone than loved for pretending to be someone you’re not.’

Greg Godek, author of 1001 Ways To Be Romantic (Sourcebooks Inc) has a few first date tips that’ll help you let your date know just how fabulous you are, right from the start.

1. Drink Up! ‘Yes, you with the sparkling eyes and witty comments. You know she’s in there somewhere. Just let her out!’
2. Talk, But Don’t Jabber
3. Start Redefining
4. Do Not Try To Impress Your Date
5. Cheat… a Little
6. Just Be You

As Lewin said, being yourself is key. So don’t hold back and celebrate who you are… because you’re you and that’s definitely worth celebrating.

Author: Lindi Brownell
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