Money en-us catherined at cosmopolitan dot co dot za Copyright 2009 Five Old-School Designers We Love and Their Muses
 Marc Jacobs and Kate Moss
It’s no secret that Marc adores Kate. The designer has always made sure that the supermodel has a starring role in both his own shows and those he used to host as former head designer at Louis Vuitton.

 Hubert de Givenchy and Audrey Hepburn
Perhaps one of the most memorable and chic partnerships involved screen legend Audrey Hepburn and French designer Hubert de Givenchy. After meeting on the set of the 1953 film Sabrina they worked together for years, publicly referring to each other as brother and sister. Their most iconic collaboration was on the little black dress the young Audrey wore in the opening scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

 Jean Paul Gaultier and Madonna
Crazy in love – it’s all we can say about this fiery duo who together created one of the most iconic undergarments in the history of fashion. Madonna called upon Jean Paul a few days before her legendary ‘Blonde Ambition’ tour and asked him to create her entire wardrobe. He obviously felt inspired and created the conical bustier. Gaultier recalls his time with Madonna as one of the most exciting periods of his career.

 Halston and Liza Minnelli
Roy Halston was one of Liza’s biggest fans and famously told her, ‘You’re shiny, so you might as well be shiny all over.’ Halston conceived the Cabaret star’s signature glittering style after watching a sweaty Liza on stage. The two became close friends and confidants and were famous for hosting the most fabulous parties at New York’s Studio 54. He even designed her home, which was later featured in Architectural Digest.

Bob Mackie and Cher
She had the body, he had the beads. For years Bob Mackie served as Cher’s personal dresser. It all began on the Sonny and Cher TV show in the 1970s, but who could forget the creation she wore on her Oscar-winning night at the 1988 Academy Awards, which featured a feathered headpiece twice the size of her head. Fashion.

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Article originally appeared on Marie Claire 

Sat, 29 Mar 2014 12:00 +0200
5 Foods You Have To Add To Your Diet, Like Now

 Green beans – This green vegetable is high in fibre and can prevent weight gain.

 Salmon – The omega-3 fatty acids in salmon helps to boost your skin’s defences against UV rays.

 Tomatoes – Great for your skin due to their high levels of Vitamin C.

 Blueberries – Aim to eat a cup a day if possible. This superfood assists in lowering your blood pressure and shows increased levels of good HDL cholesterol.

Watermelon – Foods with high water content like watermelon can help satisfy your appetite, meaning you’ll consume fewer calories. Watermelon is 92 % water and contains lots of Vitamin C.

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Article originally appeared on Marie Claire 

Sat, 29 Mar 2014 12:00 +0200
Five High-Carb Foods to Avoid

Low-fat Snack Foods
While eating low-fat snack foods such as rice cakes and crackers may seem like the healthy thing to do, you might be mistaken. Most low-fat products on the market are said to include high levels of carbohydrates to keep them tasty.

Fructose and Granulated Sugar
These sweeteners are pure refined carbohydrates with absolutely no nutritional value. Since they are empty calories, you’d do well to eat as little of them as possible.

Sugary Cereals
Most boxed cereals are packed with sugar and yes, even those claiming to be ‘wholegrain’. Instead, eat hot cereals prepared at home such as oatmeal or Mielie-meel.

No one can resist the comforting taste of a plate of French fries. We know that potatoes are not the best choice, as they are significantly high in carbohydrates; French fries alone contain 27 per cent, while baked potatoes (including the skin) contain 21 per cent. Hash browns contain the highest percentage of carbohydrates with 35 per cent, so keep your indulgences to a minimum.

Salad Dressings and Sauces
Your attempts to make that salad tastier might be doing yourself more harm than good. Salad dressings and sauces – even low-fat ones – contain lots of sugar, which are high in carbohydrates.

This article was originally posted on

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Tue, 10 Dec 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Ways To Fix Some of Life's Little Problems  
 Remove Red Wine Stains From Your Teeth
Take a wedge of lemon, remove all the pulp and rub the inside of the skin over your teeth. 

 Fix A Broken Nail
Keeping and maintaining nails can be a real life hack. But there are ways you can fix this, If the nail is only slightly torn, you can use any nail repair polishes to patch it up. If it's broken off completely, either trim all your nails to the same length or have the nail bed of the broken nail sculpted to the length of the others. 

 Remove Deodorant Marks From Your Top
Rub white marks with the inside of the top or a cotton (not paper) towel - one that's no darker in colour than the top. 

 Loosen A Stuck Zip
Run a bar of soap or pencil lead over the spot where  it won't budge. This should free up the teeth.

Bail Out of A Terrible First Date...Nicely
Glance at your phone and say 'oh dear, seems I have a few missed calls. Excuse me, I should check this out.' Then go to an ATM or the bathroom and get out enough cash to pay for your portion of the bill. When you get back to your date say 'I'm sorry to do this, but there's been an emergency and I have to go. It was nice meeting you.' Then put the money on the table, smile and walk out. 

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Mon, 10 Mar 2014 12:00 +0200
Five Beauty Tricks To Try Now
 If you’re starting to notice some unwanted cellulite (not that cellulite is EVER welcome) grab some coffee grounds from the kitchen and use as a body scrub. The caffeine helps stimulate skin cells and using it as a scrub will help get rid of any dead skin cells.

 Is your nail polish drying with bubbles? This happens when the nail polish is being stored in a warm place. Simplystore your nail polishes in the fridge and this will ensure that it’ll dry smooth every time. 

 Always getting blisters or having trouble wearing in your new shoes? Rub some good old Vaseline on the areas that are most likely to rub and this will reduce the friction and therefore the blisters on your skin.

 Got a bad case of puffy eyes? Peel a raw potato and cut it in half. Place over your eyes for at least 10 minutes. The potato has anti–inflammatory properties and this will help in reducing the swelling under the eye due to water retention.

Want a mani on the go? Cut drying time down by placing your fingers in cold water for a mimimum of three minutes and you’ll be ready to go! the cold water helps the polish dry faster.

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Mon, 24 Mar 2014 12:00 +0200
5 Surprising Reasons Love Tanks  
 Phoning him while driving
It’s better to put off a conversation than call him on your (or his) drive home from work. Safety concerns aside, scientists say talking behind the wheel can lead to misunderstandings because it takes you longer to react and your attention is impaired.

 Smothering him with support
Cancelling your happy-hour plans with friends when he phones to tell you he’s been retrenched? Cool, caring-girlfriend move. Sending him links to jobs every half an hour? Not so great. Even though you may think you’re helping, when you constantly try to be supportive it comes across to him as overbearing, which experts say can drive a partner away.

 Paying for him
It’s awesome that women are starting to earn as much as – and more than – men, but if your guy is financially dependent on you it can have harmful effects. Turns out a man who relies on his partner for cash is five times more likely to cheat.

 Storming out
Need to take a time-out after you guys have a fight? When he pisses you off, it’s tempting to walk out the door and find some space to cool down. But that strategy doesn’t actually work. A recent study found that when one partner in a relationship regularly withdraws from an argument, it seriously ups the couple’s chances of splitting.

 Being surrounded by divorcées
After extensive research, psychologists found that when a friend, sibling or co-worker goes through the big D, it makes your relationship 147% more likely to suffer the same fate.

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Wed, 11 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
How To Kick Butt At Work  
 Have Daily Goals
Ask yourself, ‘if this is the only thing I accomplish today, will I be satisfied with my day?’ only do those tasks to which you answer ‘yes’

 Learn The Art Of Non-Finishing
‘If you go to a movie and it’s worse than The Matrix Revolutions, get the hell out of there,’ writes Timothy Ferris US entrepreneur and author of The 4-Hour Work Week. Just because you’ve paid for it doesn’t mean you have to watch it. Ignore what is not important.

 Carry Around A To-Do List
To avoid having to check your computer constantly

 Make Your To-Do List For Tomorrow
Before you finish today

Check Your E-mail
Twice a day only

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Thu, 07 Nov 2013 12:00 +0200
Follow These Food Rules  
 Eat green vegetables rather than starch with your evening meal. You’re likely to be less active then so you won’t need quick-release but rather the slower-release energy you’ll get from these complex carbs. This will help to curb any late-night munchies too.

 Drink tea and coffee with food (not in place of it!) as caffeine raises blood-sugar levels. Green, white and herbal teas contain less caffeine, so drink these freely.

 Treat juice as a carbohydrate. Have a glass in place of fresh fruit or yoghurt or eggs at breakfast.

 Avoid sugary food. Sugar is the simplest of simple carbs and is turned into glucose very easily, giving you an immediate energy spike that will leave you hungry again soon after eating it. If you get a strong sweet craving, allow yourself a few squares of 80%-cocoa chocolate.

Don’t eat fruit at the end of your meal. It can promote the fermentation of food in your stomach, which can leave you feeling bloated.

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Thu, 06 Feb 2014 12:00 +0200
Improve Your Skin With These Five Easy Steps  
 Drink water
It’s good for just about everything – including keeping your skin hydrated. Drinking water not only cleanses your digestive system, it improves circulation. Okay, so you won’t avoid wrinkles completely – but if you’re well hydrated, your wrinkles are less likely to show up.

 Seven hours of sleep
Here’s your excuse for that Saturday morning lie-in or that weekday early bedtime. A 2013 study by Estée Lauder revealed that two less hours of pillow time could result in premature wrinkles, uneven skin tone and reduced elasticity. So, don’t feel bad about missing a night out on the town in favour of an early night in – you need your beauty sleep after all.

 Pat, don’t rub, your skin dry
Most of barely consider how we dry our bodies when we hop out the shower – but the difference between rubbing and patting is the difference between healthy skin and dry skin. A vigorous rub down with a towel could result in you wiping away your skin’s natural oils – gently pat yourself dry instead for softer and more hydrated skin.

 Cut down on sugary foods
A moment on the lips but a lifetime on the hips… and in your skin, as it turns out! Sugary foods often have high glycemic levels, which cause collagen and elastin to break down, resulting in sagging and wrinkling skin. Instead of scoffing sweets and chocolate, opt for veggies, which have low glycemic levels. A helping of healthy fats like avocados and olive oil will also give your skin that sought-after radiance.

Just smile
Would you believe it, that youthful glow we’re all coveting is often thanks to a simple smile. A study conducted in 2011 by the Max Planck Institute in Berlin who revealed that when people smile they look younger. Forget about neutral expressions to prevent laughter lines and crows feet – just smile and you’ll glow naturally.

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The original article can be found at Marie Claire

Tue, 04 Feb 2014 12:00 +0200
How To Beat The Frizz Top 5 ways to solve frizzy hair 

Frizz has got to be one of the most frustrating things a person has to deal with when getting ready. It's not a great feeling when your hair becomes a flammable hazzard, so COSMO is here to lend a helping hand and show you the most common mistakes that can lead to frizzy hair.

Shampooing like it’s going out of fashion
Shampooing your hair too often can make it lose its natural moisture and will make it look even more dry and frizzy. Instead of shampooing everyday, why not try every two days and use a dry shampoo to get you through the last day (if need be).

Not deep conditioning
This should be at least twice a month, and if you feel like it needs more than you can do it more regularly. Obviously it all depends on your hair type.

Towel drying
Normal bath towels create friction on the hair strands which creates frizz.
TIP: use a microfibre towel instead and dab hair dry

Choosing the wrong products for our hair type
Invest in good quality hair styling products as adding unneccessary chemicals to your hair can cause frizz.
TIP: sprays – fine hair
Lotion/serum – medium hair
Cream – thick/coarse hair

Quit Blow-drying like a novice!
Try and stay away from the blowdryer as much as possible. If absolutely neccessary, use a diffuser and heat protecting products to keep frizz at bay.
TIP: equip yourself with an ionic blow dryer, which will help lock in the moisture by compressing the cuticle. Also buy yourself a boar and nylon bristle brush. The bristles help distribute the natural oil in you hair. (if hair is curly, ditch the brush and use your fingers instead)

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Sun, 17 Nov 2013 12:00 +0200
Party SOS Top 5 ways to solve your party disasters
 Two slightly boozy guests are having a tiff about the latest political scandal.
Pull the ‘It’s my party’ card – in a jokey way. Say ’I’ve banned political arguments – I command you to talk about something more interesting, like Jennifer Aniston’s new hairdo.’

 It’s 4am, you’re knackered, and some people are still stuck to the sofa.
If the exaggerated yawning doesn’t work, simply turn the lights on (or up), turn off the music and bring out the vacuum! Most people get the message and either help to clean (bonus) or make a swift exit.

 Your work mates, your varsity friends and your boyfriend’s mates are all huddled in separate cliques.
But one thing everyone has in common is you. Work the room saying, ‘you must meet Andy, he went to the same university as your brother’ – or just grab two people and say, ‘I’d like to get my two favourite people a drink.’

 Nobody is dancing.
Rally a few of your most confident girlfriends and get them to drag a guy onto the dance floor, then get some guy mates to do the same. Soon the number of dancers will multiply.

Someone drops a tray of drinks. Don’t freak out! Glasses can be replaced and carpets can be
cleaned. At a venue, ask a staff member to sort it out; at home, smile and let a friend help out – nobody enjoys seeing the hostess on her knees, scrubbing the floor.

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Sun, 17 Nov 2013 12:00 +0200
Give Yourself a Mini-Facial  
 Get fresh (detox debunked:
Remove all makeup then cleanse your face with your trusted facial cleanser.

 Get steamy
Pour hot water into a large bowl then place a towel over your head and the bowl. Steam your face for two to five minutes.

Exfoliate your skin with an effective exfoliating cream. Scrub using gentle, circular movements. (Avoid the sensitive eye area)

 Get a mask
Apply a mask that is suitable for your skin type. Remove the mask according to the directions and wipe your face with a cotton ball soaked in toner or refresher lotion.

Smooth on a moisturiser and apply a lip balm. Then, using your ring finger, lightly dab on an eye cream. Et voila! Beautiful, glowing skin!

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Wed, 06 Nov 2013 12:00 +0200
Five Beauty Tricks to Make Your Fragrance Last All Night  
 Moisturise your skin with unscented lotion. Fragrance best clings to well-hydrated skin and a fragrance-free cream won’t mix or change the scent you are using.

 Dab Vaseline just above your ankles and on the back of your knees. Then spritz your favourite scent on these spots. Scent rises, so the key is to apply it to these low pulse points.

 Mist your cleavage and the area of your bra where your cups connect. This heated heart-zone will warm and propel the scent molecules just where you need it.

 Spray one of your inner wrists and press it against the other one for a few seconds. Do not rub your wrists together; this will break up the notes causing the scent to fade sooner.

Spritz perfume onto a dollop of styling cream and apply it to the bottom 2cm of your hair. This is where your hair is most porous and absorbent and will soak up the fragrance. Now, every time you move, your hair will offer a soft, delicate scent.

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Fri, 01 Nov 2013 12:00 +0200
10 Ways to Get Over Your Ex: Part 2  
 Things Can Never Be The Same
And things really weren’t the way you remember them

 Stay Out Of Bed With Him
Every time you slip up and sleep with your ex, the recovery process starts all over again.

 Be Good To Yourself
Pamper yourself

 Beware Of Excess
Too much alcohol, comfort food, or shopping therapy will make yu feel worse in the long run.

Face It
If he never contacts you, take it as a clear sign that he no longer loves you.

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Tue, 15 Oct 2013 12:00 +0200
10 Ways to Get Over Your Ex: Part 1  
 Stop yourself
Stick a note on your phone with the word ‘don’t!’ written on it, to stop calling him.

 Stop playing ‘your’ song
Music ignites emotions. Take songs that remind of of him off your playlist, delete photos and hide his social media feeds until the ‘crisis’ is over.

 Let friends help you
The staunch ones will listen to you endlessly. Perhaps someday you’ll do the same for them.

 Be angry At him
It will pass and does less harm in the long run than blaming yourself.

Stay away
Only when you can think of him and see him with no emotion is friendship a possibility. Until then, stay out of his way.

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Thu, 10 Oct 2013 12:00 +0200
10 Ways to Simplify Your Life: Part 1  
 Delegate plan-making
If you’re the one who’s always planning for your social posse, give yourself a break. ‘Women tend to create a lot of stress for themselves by trying to organise everyone’s agenda, says Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light (Busy Bee Group). Chill out and let one of your buddies be the cruise director.

 Don’t do dinner when you’re on a first date
Do you really have to devote three hours to some guy whose ability to hold your attention is untested? Skip the three-course meal and meet him for drinks, coffee or even lunch. That way you can make a quick getaway if he’s boring you to death.

 Downsize your bag
‘Having to dig through your heavy handbag is a major time-sucker,’ says professional organiser Patricia Diesel. So scale down your bag – and how much you put in it. You’ll find your keys quickly and save yourself a recurring trip to the chiropractor for aching shoulders.

 Learn to say no
‘Just because someone demands your time doesn’t mean you have to give it to them,’ says Donald Wetmore, founder of the Productivity Institute in Stratford, Connecticut. Simply say, ‘I’d love to help you, but I can’t,’ or ‘Thanks for thinking of me, but no thanks.’ (Mind Health link: Bring On The Boundaries)

Hit delete
Trash SMSs, voice mails and emails when you get them so you don’t waste time scrolling through old messages.

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Tue, 01 Oct 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Truths To Understanding The Male Species: Part 2  
 Men can’t help but stare at other women
It’s true: they just can’t control themselves. We’re the same way when we walk past a window filled with gorgeous shoes – we just have to look. It’s anthropological. If you look at the mating habits of gorillas, even if they’re ‘pair bonded’ (which is anthropology-speak for gorilla marriage), most males cruise the females and stare when a cute gorilla girl walks by. Your guy’s not insensitive – he’s just been momentarily possessed by his inner ape.

 Men are perverts
There’s no getting around it: guys are pervs. They think about sex 24/7. And sometimes they daydream about, and look at pictures of gross stuff or weird moves – moves that they’d never try in a million years. For the guy who has everything, the perfect gift is porn. It’s the one present men never complain about – or return. Watching porn with your guy can add zing to a long-term relationship. But if you can’t stand the thought of these films, don’t go there. Nothing is less sexy to a man than a woman who’s uncomfortable. Guys may be turned on by the visuals in porn but trust me – they’d rather have the real, in-the-flesh deal any time.

 Men would love to cheat
That doesn’t mean they will. Luckily, they either feel too guilty, too shy, or too scared. It’s biology: they see, they want, they fantasise. Men are not by nature monogamous animals and they often have to fight their sexual urges – which many do very successfully.

 Men want us to worship them
All men have a bit of Donald Trump in them. They want us to think they are strong, successful and sexy. Most men would never admit this but they’d like to think they’re slightly smarter than the woman they’re with. Yet they have no problem with the woman being 10 times better looking than they are – that strokes their egos even more. Ultimately, they’d settle for simply being able to do one thing better than us. It might be because, deep down, they know we’re smart as – or smarter than – they are…

Men love oral sex
What do men want more of in bed? Oral sex. Why do they love it so much? Because they don’t have to worry about technique – and because we do all the work. Guys say the best treat a woman can give them is oral sex in the morning. Forget pancakes – this is his idea of breakfast in bed.

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Mon, 30 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
Friendship Management  
 Be A Good Friend
Supportive, consistent, compassionate but honest and assertive too.

 Take The Contact Initiative
Especially at birthdays, celebrations, break ups, illness or retrenchment.

 Have A Contact Plan For Close Friends
From monthly braais to weekly Skype chats and daily SMSs

 Use Social Media To Share Pictures
They reveal relationships, hobbies and holidays and elicit responses that build understanding, says Professor Geoff Beattie, head of psychological sciences at the University of Manchester.

But Don’t Rely Only On Social Media
98% of people Beattie studied said face-to-face communication made them feel closer, against 84% for phone calls and 62% for texting.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
Cool Intentions  
 Freeze tease
Why do guys go so gaga when women lick lollipops? Because they’re imagining what it would feel like to be that, er, sweet stick. Well, sucking on ice has the same arouse-him effect. At a bar or restaurant, take a slender ice cube entirely into your mouth. Suck on it in a casual way (as if you have no idea what you’re doing to him), allowing the edge of it to peek out between your lips occasionally. He’ll be fidgeting with his car keys, anxious to get you home.

 Stone-cold massage
Kick-start the frisky festivity with an erotic rub, using a hot-and-cold combo of massage oil and ice cubes. Put a bit of oil in one hand, rub your hands together to warm it up and use it to knead his bare shoulders. Then take an ice cube and run it over the same area. Repeat the process as you work your way down his back, finishing off at his bum.

 The frosty figure eight
While you’re giving him a blowjob, use an ice cube to trace a figure eight on his groin or inner thigh. Try to perform both motions at the same pace to make the experience as smooth as possible. The simultaneous opposing sensations will give him a blissful buzz.

 Seductive shiver
Now it’s your turn. Lie on your back and caress your most sensitive spots (the insides of your thighs, the backs of your neck, behind your knees, your nipples) with an ice cube. Then ask your man to lick the icy trail you have just made. The cold stimulates the nerve endings and primes your body, while the follow-up warmth of his mouth provides the pleasure. Plus, he’ll love watching you stroke yourself.

 Melt in your mouth
Wrap your lips around an ice cube for about 15 seconds until they get super-cold. Then give him the blowjob of his life. The exciting contrast between your cool lips and your warm mouth will shoot his senses into overdrive. Another moan-inducing method: use a tablespoon of crushed ice instead. In your efforts to keep the ice from leaking out of your mouth, you’ll inevitably have to use more suction on his shaft, providing double the delicious pleasure.

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Wed, 11 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
Kiss Your Way To Better Health  
 Kiss Bliss
In biological terms, kissing stimulates the brain’s pleasure centre, releasing the ecstasy hormone, phenylethylamine. ‘Kissing is a symbolic communication of feelings without saying a word,’ says Dr Franco Visser, a Johannesburg clinical psychologist, ‘and the affirming emotional contact also makes you feel happy.’

 Oral Fixation
Kissing won’t give you a Hollywood-bright smile but it does help keep your teeth in good condition. According to Dr Peter Gordon, an adviser at the British Dental Association, it ‘prevents tooth decay by stimulating saliva flow, which slows plaque build up and neutralises mouth acids’.

 Stress Relief
It may sound contradictory but a passionate kiss is a great relaxation technique. ‘When the nerve endings in the lips press together, tension decreases and calming endorphins are released,’ says Visser. Kissing makes breathing slower and deeper, and keeps you more focused.

 Immunity Challenge
‘Kissing is like getting a small immune-boosting shot each day,’ says Janene Sacks, a dietitian at the centre for Medical Excellence in Melrose Arch, Jo’burg. When you kiss your guy, you’re exchanging saliva and providing each other with an extra dose of good germs to help protect your immune system against bad bacteria.

Fountain Of Youth
Why go on a diet or use Botox when kissing is equally effective in keeping you looking young and slim? According to US fitness consultant Claire Potter, a smooch helps tone the facial muscles. It’s said to burn 8,4kJ a minute, so if you want to burn off 1kg of body fat, (the equivalent of 37 000kJ), you must spend three days kissing! But make that a marathon session of smooching and great sex, and you’ll burn more kilojoules even faster. Now that’s our kind of exercise!

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Wed, 11 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
How To Look Chic, Always  
 Start with the right underwear. Bras should be the right size and seamless. Wear yours with the back strap low to avoid skin hanging over the top. Knickers should be seamless too, and high around the waist to avoid muffin tops.

 If you’re not confident about putting an outfit together, find a store with salespeople you can trust to give you an honest opinion.

 Be playful, choose a signature item and make it a feature – the truly chic take risks and make fashion their own.

 Avoid brands that try to impose a specific look on you – designers are there to enhance your appearance and personality.

Never buy fake designer brands – you’re only fooling yourself.

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Wed, 11 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
Are You A Narcissist?  
 Believing that you are better than others

 Fantasising about power, success, and attractiveness

 Expecting constant praise and admiration

 Failing to recognise or disregarding other peoples emotions

Believing that others are jealous of you

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Wed, 11 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Surprising Relationship Boosters Gossiping With Him
Sure, you’re going to save the best dirt for your girlfriends – but loop him in on fun, light-hearted rumours. For eg, dish if you hear a mutual friend is about to propose. When you share positive gossip it makes you feel as though you have each other’s back.

Picking Up His Lingo

You may cringe if you catch your guy’s phrases coming out of your mouth, but it’s actually a good thing. The tendency is called language style matching and it strengthens your ties to each other.

Buying an HD PVR

Being able to record your fave shows not only helps you stay up to date with your ‘guilty pleasure’ viewing, it also benefits your love in a big way. No longer will your time be governed by what’s on TV (and involve tussles over the remote) – you can now prioritise your time together.

Knowing His Goals

Sure, your guy has ambition, but researchers say you should look at what he aspires to do. If he wants to achieve things, such as beating his own time in a 5km run – as opposed to simply outrunning his friends – he’s a keeper. The first kind of goal shows he’s out to better himself, and men like that tend to be ideal love matches.

Spoiling Him a Little
Pick up his favourite beer or bring him a coffee in bed. According to researchers, when the person you love feels grateful, it makes them feel closer to you too.

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Fri, 06 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
Curly Hair Commandments  
 Use the correct shampoo for your hair type (HINT: curly hair usually needs moisture).

 Blot (don’t rub!) hair with a towel. Rubbing creates a rough, fuzzy surface.

 Blow-dry on a low setting. This keeps wildness at bay.

 Look, don’t touch. Running your fingers through your hair disrupts the natural curl pattern.

Always finish with hairspray. Those with humidity-blocking technology (check the label) seal the hair cuticles so that they behave.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
Love Notes (Part 2)
 Who you are and who you think he wants you to be should be the same person. If they’re not, you’ll always feel like a fraud.

 Stay independent. You can’t be certain that you’ll never need to look after yourself.

 There’s a reason you’re attracted to your partner and other women will notice it too. Pride, rather than jealousy, is what will stroke his ego the most.

 It’s important to work on your relationship to make it work, but equally important to recognise if you’re not right for each other.

 Sex is the difference between an ordinary friendship and a relationship, and regular, enthusiastic sex is vital to maintaining that exclusive intimacy.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Habits to Make in Your Twenties  
 Establish an exercise routine
This will help you develop a strong body that will look and feel good as you age. Find a regime that is sustainable and enjoyable for you.

 Protect your skin
It’s never too early to start taking care of your skin, which includes wearing sunscreen, drinking water, exercising and having a balanced diet.

 Maintain a healthy diet
This is about more than just maintaing your weight. Your eating habits can protect you from aliments such as osteoporosis.

 Get A Good Night’s Sleep
Getting rest is essential. Lack of sleep affects memory, concentration and the body’ ability to fight infections.

 Manage Stress
The effects of stress on your health are often overlooked but can be very serious. Finding a way to balance your life makes you healthier, both physically and mentally.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
Top 5 Reasons Why We Love Christina Hendricks  
 She Is Sexy
The red-haired beauty doesn’t really care about what other people have to say about her figure. Christina Hendricks wholeheartedly embraces her curvy womanly body – and so do we! She has brought curves to the forefront of television and to the cover of magazines (ahem!) Now top that off with her flaming mane, and it’s no wonder she captivates the men and women in her audience!

 She Has Style
Beyond the vintage pieces she wears on screen, Christina’s off-screen love for the romantic early-sixties has us all planning vintage-shopping sprees to find retro sexy pencil skirts. How gorgeous did she look at the 2013 Pre Emmys Cocktail Party? Dressed to kill in a gorgeous Badgley Mischka dress (natch), she definitely made our best-dressed list!

 She Makes Us Believe In The One
Hendricks plays the unlucky-in-love Joan on Mad Men but in real life she's been in love with her husband since the day they met. Read our interview with her on page 45 of the September issue, and note her tale on how they first met and fell in love. Get ready to say aaw!

 She Speaks Her Mind
… and this is quite the rarity in Hollywood. Many, with a few exceptions like Jennifer Lawrence and Rebel Wilson, rarely say what’s really on their mind but Christina admits, ‘I have a problem keeping my mouth shut. I usually speak my mind’. And we love her for it. Did you hear of the time she stopped an interview because she was called ‘full figured’. Yup, fearless!

She Is Passionate About Acting
Hendricks is not only beautiful and talented but hard-working too: she began her acting career at a young age and she has been unstoppable ever since, even vying for a post-Mad Men job on Homeland or Game of Thrones. What do you think? Can you see Hendricks hunting down the world's most wanted (and super cute) terrorists in Homeland and evading the White Walkers in The Game Of Thrones? We can’t wait!

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
10 Things We Didn't Know About Hangovers: Part 2  
 US pharmacist John Stith Pemberton originally invented Coca-Cola as a cure for hangovers and headaches.

 For an orgasmic hangover cure, try sex! Okay, it doesn’t actually cure a hangover, but it releases oxytocin, a hormone that reduces sensitivity to pain and elevates your mood. We’re sold!

 The term ‘hair of the dog’ dates back to Shakespearean times. It originally referred to the belief that you could treat a rabid dog’s bite by placing the dog’s hair on the wound – hence the suggestion that a drink after a hard night will lift the alcohol haze …

 … But, in truth, ‘hair of the dog’ doesn’t work. Neither do most hangover ‘cures’, according to the medical journal BMJ.

 Sadly, your hangovers will only get worse as you get older. As the body ages, its supply of the enzyme involved in metabolising alcohol decreases.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
Contour Lines  
 Cheeky Cheeks
Using a blush brush, apply a bronzer (one shade darker than your skin tone) in the hollows of your cheeks, starting at the hairline and sweeping the colour downwards. Blend out any harsh lines. Apply highlighter (golden, for dark skins, pinkish for fair) just above the cheekbones to create the illusion of high cheekbones.

 Sculpted Nose
Using a small eye-shadow brush, start contouring with a bronzer from just below the inner corner of each eyebrow; end at the edge of the nostrils. Brush highlighter vertically down the bridge and the centre of your nose.

 Chin Up
Apply highlighter to the top of the chin, just beneath the centre of the lip. This creates balance and adds to the slimming effect as it draws attention to the centre of the face.

 Smoochable Pout
Apply highlighter on your Cupid’s bow. This will accentuate plumpness and make lips seem fuller.

 Bright Eyes
Highlight the browbone and just outside the outer corner of your eyes to help to open up the eyes and give them a bit of a lift.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
10 Things We Didn't Know About Hangovers: Part 1  
 It takes between three and five drinks for the average woman to set herself up for a hangover, and more than six drinks for the average guy.

 Some say that colourless drinks, such as vodka, cause milder hangovers than darker drinks, such as red wine and whiskey. It turns out that this is true.

 According to studies, 250ml of an alcoholic beverage causes the body to expel 800ml to one litre of water. So the one-glass-of-water-for-every-drink theory should actually be revised to incorporate four glasses of water.

 The International Headache Society notes that increased physical activity (such as dancing) while drinking actually makes for a worse hangover the next morning.

 Expect to feel fragile for about half a day, on average, but this depends on factors such as weight, the amount of alcohol consumed and individual alcohol-tolerance levels.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
How To Be Assertive  
 Learn to tolerate the discomfort of doing what you think is right even when it goes against the norm.

 Make clear statements about what you prefer.

 Understand that assertiveness differs from aggression – make your preferences clear without demanding that others accede to them.

 Practise making requests and giving refusals while at the same time letting others know your positive thoughts and giving feedback.

 Accept other people’s right to refuse your requests.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Lies That Celebrities Tell  
 ‘I Always Thought I Was Ugly’
Most celebs say they hate the way they look. Claudia Schiffer, Uma Thurman… take your pick. They were once convinced they were hideous; now they all think they’re fat. Only Kate Moss is honest enough to say she thought she looked ‘cool’ on the day she was discovered.

 I Eat Normally’
Yeah, right. Delve deeper and we discover this means they eat solids at least once a day, but no raw food after 4pm, no carbs during the week, no red meat and no sugar. This is up there with ‘I wouldn’t rule out plastic surgery in the future’, which means ‘I’ve had everything and I’ll be getting more.’

 ‘I Have Such A Boring, Normal, Life – You Wouldn’t Believe It’
Celebs say this all the time. What they mean is that they have a TV, they know where the fridge is and they gave birth to their own children. Again, they forget they are talking to civilians. They probably do have quite a normal life, compared to Elton John or Michelle Obama, but it’s not normal normal. They’re not exactly queuing up at the supermarket till with packets of chicken, are they? They’re not pressed up against a flu ridden stranger in a taxi, trying not to catch his or her germs…

 ‘It Was So Tough Getting Back In Shape After The Birth Of Nectarine’
Or not (what with the personal trainer, the dietician, the power plate machine in the dressing room, the yoga teacher and the membership of the club). Tough? It probably does seem tough compared with paying a surrogate. Yes, we’re talking about you, SJP.

 ‘I Never Think Of Myself As Famous’
No. Not until you can’t get the table reservation/seat on the plane/entry to the nightclub. You are famous, sweetie. And you’d be better off if you remembered the first rule of celebrity: don’t believe your own hype. Just don’t try to be like us. It’s too late for that…

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
Do The Twist  
 Step One
Apply a styling product to dampen hair and make either a side or a centre parting

 Step Two
Divide hair into six sections – three on the right side of your head and three on the left.

 Step Three
Twist each section tightly around your finger

 Step Four
Take the three sections on one side and twist together; do the same with the other side so you’re left with two sections of hair.

 Step Five
Bring the sections on either side together at the nape of the neck and twist into a bun. Secure with hairpins.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Way To Become More Accountable For Your Work
 Be Detail Orientated
Whether you’re answering the phone, sending out a business letter or chairing a meeting, ask yourself whether your behaviour and aims are aligned with your company’s message (especially if it’s your own).

 Follow Up
Even if it doesn’t seem necessary, say a quick thank you or check whether a client has received the information they requested.

 Be Solutions Oriented
Mistakes and mishaps happen to all of us; it’s how you deal with them that counts. Avoid presenting your manager with problems. Rather offer a clearly thought-out solution.

 Don’t Consider How Your Colleagues, Mentors Or Clients Can Help You, Work Out How You Can Help Them
Even though you might not see an immediate return, people will soon get the message that you are prepared to put extra effort into all that you do.

 Be Answerable
Don’t blame a botched delivery or poor response on someone (or something) else, even if it isn’t technically your fault. Instead, look at the big picture. How could you do things differently to ensure a better result the next time?

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Ways to be Cash Savvy  
 Be very afraid of debt and debt collectors. When you lapse on a few payments they really do call your next of kin.

 Register on a credit-health system and keep track of your status. By tracking your income and expenses, you will become conscious of where your money came from and where it went.

 Force yourself to save. Instead of focusing on immediate desires such as a fast-food burger, keep your eyes on your ultimate goal, whether it is buying a car or renting an apartment.

 Make a budget. Having a budget places restrictions on how much you spend on different categories. You can also work on reducing the amount you spend in different categories over time.

 Set long-term, mid-term and short-term financial goals. Setting financial goals can help you meet your own personal goals.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
The Future Looks Right (Pt2)
 Don’t Discuss It With Everyone
Soliciting too many opinions – especially from people who don’t know you that well – can leave you with lots of conflicting (not to mention bad) advice. Before seeking someone’s opinion, ask yourself whether the person is really in a position to know what’s best for you.

 Consider The Long Term Consequences
Some decisions make short-term sense but can be disastrous in the long run. For example, telling your guy you cheated on him three years ago may relieve your guilt but will probably cause him to break up with you. A good rule of thumb: play out each scenario in your mind and consider the outcome before making a controversial move.

 Don’t Leave It Up To Chance
It can be dangerous to make a life-changing choice based on what your horoscope instructs you to do. While it’s fun to let these things influence small decisions (for instance whether you should ask a guy out), the bigger stuff (such as dumping your boyfriend) should not be left up to the stars.

 Blow Off Bullies
When grappling with a decision it can be easy to be swayed in one direction by someone who has self-serving motives, for instance a salesperson talking you into buying a pair of shoes you can’t afford. Distance yourself from the person or people pressuring you while you sort out your thoughts. And if that’s not possible, pretend you’re advising a friend on the matter, which will help you act more logically and remain guilt-free.

 Remember That You Can’t Always Use The Past To Predict The Future
It’s important not to rely simply on experience, especially when you’re making a choice that will seriously affect your bank account or lifestyle. In our rapidly changing world, experts recommend assessing each new opportunity with a fresh mind-set. What might have been a shrewd move a few years ago – such as leaving your 9-to-5 job to start your own business – could wreak havoc on your life today.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
The Future Looks Right (Pt1)
 Go With Your Gut
When making simple choices (such as what cereal to buy) it’s good to be rational. But when it comes to bigger ones (for instance which job to take) you’re better off trusting your instincts. That’s not to say you should buy a car on a whim, but if you have weighed the pros and cons and still can’t reach a conclusion, let your snap judgement be the tie-breaker.

 Put Down The Mojito
Although one drink can relax you while you’re agonising over a choice, more than that can cloud your judgement.

 Sleep On It
Researchers say unconscious deliberation can help you analyse your options and come to a conclusion – which is why people will often tell you to sleep on it. However, considering a decision for too long means you aren’t comfortable with any of your options and you need to consider alternatives.

 Ditch Stress
Go for a haircut right after you’ve been retrenched and you could wind up looking like Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men. This is because we tend to act rashly when we’re nervous or upset. Research suggests that anxiety not only makes it more difficult to settle on something but also makes you more likely to come to the wrong conclusion. So if you’re fighting with your boyfriend while choosing between two apartments, try to resolve the disagreement quickly so you can make a more clearheaded decision.

 Talk It Over With A Select Few
Chatting about your predicament with friends, your mother or whoever you trust to give an honest opinion is a good idea. Hashing out your options allows you to process the decision further, and hearing others’ perspectives (whether you agree with them or not) can help you arrive at a more informed – and better – conclusion.

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Fri, 09 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
How To Strengthen Your Common Sense
 Develop Active Listening
Listen to a variety of music with focused ears. ‘Can you distinguish the different instruments? Feel the emotion? Find the story?’ asks Yuill.

 Develop Your Visual Sense
Pay attention to everyday things around you. Notice the colours, the shapes, the play of light – and marvel.

 Develop Your Taste
Eat and drink things you don’t usually try, slowly and with full awareness.

 Develop Your Sense Of Smell
Note the aroma of your food, your car, a garden, a street, the pages of a magazine, and think of other smells they bring to mind.

 Develop Your Sense Of Touch
Explore the different textures around you – the feel of the grass, carpets or tiles under your feet, the touch of metal, fabric, skin…these will help you tap into yourself as a source of information, says Yuill, instead of relying on what you are taught or what you can copy and paste from Google.

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Wed, 31 Jul 2013 12:00 +0200
Top 5 Movies To Go See With Your Boyfriend
 Grown Ups 2
With a generous helping of crass humour for him, and Taylor Lautner’s biceps for you, Grown Ups 2 is a movie that will have you laughing out loud. In cinemas 8th August

 Now You See Me
If you want to be entertained, then this movie is for you. A fun, fast-paced film about bank robbing, magic and witty magicians (and of course we mean that Jesse Eisenberg wit that we loved so much in The Social Network). In cinemas 8th August

 Vehicle 19
A South African backdrop, high-speed car chases, a few explosions AND good-looking Paul Walker behind the wheel of a car? Action gold. In cinemas 8th August

 Evil Dead
An intense, gory horror that is not to be watched without a strong, manly arm around you to cower under – especially with Jane Levy’s scary performance of a woman possessed. In cinemas 16th August

 Killing Them Softly
While brutal gangsters and mobsters with guns may not be your cup of tea, he’s sure to enjoy this movie. Then again, with Brad Pitt on board you could probably force yourself to sit through some action. In cinemas 2nd August

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Wed, 31 Jul 2013 12:00 +0200
Top 5 Movies To Go See With The Girls
 Great Expectations
You won’t want to miss this Dickens classic. It stars the broodingly beautiful Jeremy Irvine as Pip. Remember him from Warhorse? Now imagine him delivering these lines to the hard-hearted Estella: 'Everything I have ever done I have done for you' … 'I have loved you since I first saw you in this house.' Yup. A must-see. With tissues. Helena Bonham-Carter and Ralph Fiennes are also always worth watching. Great vintage fashion too. In cinemas on 8 August

 The Heat
There are big laughs to be had in this comic tale of law-enforcement partners. A mismatched cop and FBI agent are forced to work a case together. Starring breakout comedian Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock. Great reviews. In cinemas on 23 August

 Pain and Gain
OK. The guys might like this one too. But here’s why you want to go with your girls: Rebel Wilson, Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson and lots of other muscle, including our very own Owen Meyer (google him… yum). The story, based on an unusual but true kidnapping and murder case, is sure to leave you in a sweat, I mean, stitches. In cinemas on 23 August

 The English Teacher
Advertised as ‘an insightful comedy about self-discovery’, The English Teacher will make you laugh as you remember some of the unbelievable things you may have done in high school. Starring Julianne Moore, Liliy Collins, Greg Kinnear and Michael Angarano. In cinemas on 30 August

 Arthur Newman
This story of assumed identities stars Emily Blunt and Colin Firth. Another great excuse to perve over the British actor playing another quirky romantic role. In cinemas on 30 August

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Wed, 31 Jul 2013 12:00 +0200
What Should You Say After He Approaches?
 Say This
‘Thanks, I’d love a drink. I was having a sauvignon blanc.’

Not This
‘I don’t know - something with an umbrella in it! But nothing with too many calories.’

 Say This
‘It’s really loud here – let’s go someplace quieter to talk. My friends can meet us later.’

Not This
‘I'm here with my friends. Can they come too?'

 Say This
‘I don’t necessarily love my job, but I’m glad I have it.’

Not This
‘And here’s the 17th reason why my boss is a total jerk…’

 Say This
‘Oh my God, great song! I love the music they play here.’

Not This
‘Oh my God, I used to date that guy deejaying. Quick, can you tell if he’s looking at me?’ 

 Say This
'Let's call it a night, do you have the number for a cab?' 

Not This
'I can definitely still drive. I only had five drinks. Do you want to come back with me?'' 

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Wed, 31 Jul 2013 12:00 +0200
Keep the Love of Your Life  Cut back on your calls
‘Checking in frequently with your girlfriends brings you closer but paradoxically it can drive a guy away,’ says US psychotherapist Dr. Patricia Covalt, author of What Smart Couples Know (Amacom Books). Men use the phone when they need to get and give info, if you’re always calling, he may jump to the conclusion that you’re being needy.

 Disagree with his opinion
You obviously shouldn’t voice your opposition to every little statement he makes. That’s annoying, not daring. But stating it when you don’t see eye-to-eye on something substantial – like politics or moral issues – makes for a healthier relationship. Not only will it fire you both up, it’ll also help you get to know each other on a more intimate level.

 Do your own thing…and don’t invite him
‘If you’re always together you won’t have much to talk about – you’ll both become bored,’ says Dr. Jennifer Oikle, relationship therapist and founder of Having your own thing makes him appreciate you more. It shows that instead of needing him to occupy your time, you want him despite having other stuff to do.

Confront him on relationship issues
The trick is to bring up issues fairly and honestly. Make it about you and how specifically, he could help you out by addressing them, says Dr. Barbara Cox, a psychologist in San Diego, US. For example, if it’s bugging you that he never plans dates, sit him down and say in a calm voice, ‘I’ve been feeling exhausted lately and could use some help planning what we’re doing this weekend’.

 Show your love
Guys, like women, get pumped when their partner fawns over them a little. If you hide how you feel, he is going to think you’re indifferent and may decide to look for someone who is more into him.

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
Warning! Men At Home  Your Happy Place
Find a place for the things that make you feel happy and at home, whether it’s your makeup mirror or your fuchsia silk cushions.

 Different Strokes
Start managing your differences. Moving in with a man means picking your battles, not to mention lowering your standards of neatness and hygiene. If he uses yesterday's laundry as a bathmat - buy a bathmat. That said, don’t do everything his way just because it’s easier. It’s not. It’s a recipe for relationship flambé.  

 Easy Does It
When moving into a man’s home, don't try and change everything at once. Change it step-by-step, room-by-room, and involve him in decision-making. It’s best to avoid greeting him with, ‘Hi baby! Guess what? I’ve redecorated your tacky old TV room and turned it into a Turkish harem-style lounge!’ 

 Room Service
It's tempting to do all of the househould chores yourself (because then they'll be done right). But don’t end up washing all the dishes and cooking all the meals; your mother didn’t burn her bra so you could become a doormat. 

 Party Time
Finally, throw a housewarming party so his place starts feeling like your place too. Which it is – even if you’d never have chosen that yellow-plaid bar-stool set yourself.

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Sun, 14 Jul 2013 12:00 +0200
Mood Foods

The brain needs tryptophan, an amino acid found in milk, in order to produce serotonin, a neurotransmitter nicknamed the happy hormone because of its happy-making and calming effect. ‘Milk has antioxidants that help destroy free radicals associated with stress,’ says Abvajee.

Oily types of fish such as mackerel are a great source of omega-3 fatty acids, which help prevent the blues by boosting serotonin levels. Most fish, including mackerel, also contain the stress-busting vitamins B6 and B12..  

This vegetable is bursting with stress-relieving B vitamins and also contains folate (known as folic acid in its synthetic form). ‘Low levels of folate have been linked to depression in many studies, so it stands to reason that if you keep your folate levels up you’re less likely to be down in the dumps.

Liver is one of the best sources of B6, which your body needs to convert essential amino acids to mood-enhancing dopamine and adrenaline. If the thought of eating liver makes you squirm, get your B6 from brown rice or other whole grains.  

These little miracle workers are jam-packed with stress-busting anti-oxidants and vitamin C. they’re also low in kilojoules and are a good source of fibre – bonus.

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Wed, 24 Jul 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Reasons Why We Love Bonang  She aims high!
Our cover girl and now face of Revlon has accomplished some great things this year including becoming a Top Billing presenter, presenting on Clash Of The Choirs and getting nominated as Best TV Presenter and Most Stylish Female Celebrity at the YOU Spectacular Awards, to name a few. But don’t think she’ll settle down just yet, Bonang is a day-dream believer. She continues to aim higher and higher and repeatedly talks about how her boss Basetsana Kumalo is one of her role models.

She works hard and parties hard
All work and no play makes Bonang a dull girl. When not working her butt off, this girl knows how to have a good time. Just a few days ago, she was instagramming pics from her time at Pop Bottles and she looked glam as always. Party phobes take note – you too can work the room like Queen B.

 She’s fashion savvy
The girl is always stylish! She’s pretty much fashion designer, Gert Johan Coetzee’s muse, which means she’s never short of fabulous gowns - did you see her gorgeous yellow, flowy dress she wore at the Durban July this year? And she has her personal style on point too!

Her mom’s number 1
In her interview with COSMO editor, Cathy Lund, Bonang confessed that her mom is the person she wants to please the most. It’s nice to know that even with all the fame and money that comes with being a celebrity, B is still grounded and humble.

 She’s brave
Following the tough year she had last year, Bonang has bounced back with a bang. That takes a lot of courage! She’s also admitted to being a very anxious person and the fact that she can still accomplish so much despite that is a cue many COSMO girls can take from her.

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Fri, 12 Jul 2013 12:00 +0200
Plastic Surgery Questions
In South Africa, the most common procedure among women in their 20s is breast augmentation. But anti-ageing procedures are becoming increasingly popular with them, says plastic surgeon Dr Nerina Wilkinson from the Renaissance Surgical Clinic in Cape Town. More aware of the ageing process, she explains, they are turning to procedures such as Botox and fillers as a preventative measure. All this raises some interesting questions…

 Could a breast reduction cause your boobs to end up different sizes or shapes?
Absolutely. They may turn out asymmetrical if your doctor doesn’t have a good eye for aesthetics, or is inexperienced, or if two surgeons work simultaneously on opposite sides.

 If a guy squeezes your implants too hard during sex, can they burst or change shape?
It’s impossible. He’d have to use superhuman force to rupture them. And no, they won’t change shape.

 Can Botox reduce sensation in your face?
No. Botox targets only your muscles; it doesn’t affect the nerves that regulate sensation.

Can you gain weight again after liposuction?
Yes – but the fat will accumulate elsewhere. Your body doesn’t produce new fat cells after adolescence, so once you remove any of them through liposuction, fat won’t deposit in that area again. Still, if you consume more kilojoules than you burn, the added kilos have to go somewhere.

 After getting liposuction, will the excess skin shrink back to size?
Probably. It depends on your genes and skin’s elasticity. If you have stretchmarks (perhaps because you gained the weight back quickly) that’s a sign your skin has little elasticity and isn’t likely to shrink back completely. The loose skin will just hang there.

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
What His Drink Says About Him
 Standard Bottle Beer 
He’s great boyfriend material because he sticks with one thing and loves the hell out of it.

 Energy Drink and Vodka
He’ll want to entertain you till breakfast, but watch his caffeinated wit – he’s a big flirt, too.

He’s eager to impress and very funny, but don’t count on anything long-term.

Light Beer
He prefers endorphins to booze so he can remember how hot his muscles looked during sex.

Vino is the mark of a connoisseur who likes to show off his fine tastes. Like his drink, his sex skills improve with age.
Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
What Guys Wish We Knew thoughts about love, sex…and their mothers.

 'I never tell my guy friends details of our sex life. But I make sure they know they know I’m getting it regularly and I lie about how hot it is to show off.'

 'When it comes to a guy’s penis, remember three things: if it’s small, say it’s the perfect fit; if it’s average, say it’s huge, he’ll know – but he’ll love hearing you say it anyway.'

 'It’s a good sign if I make fun of you. We men only do that with people we like.’

‘If you hate my mother, I’ll think less of you. But if you always agree with her, I’ll also think less of you’

 I’m sensitive about my body but I won’t admit it. If you point out my stomach flab I’ll probably shrug off the comment in front of you, then privately check out my stomach later.’

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Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
Treat Him To A Nude Sunday
 Ask for his opinion on your new shoes
He might not be overly interested – until he sees that you’re wearing only the shoes.

 Talk on the phone
You don’t even have to discuss the fact that you’re nude – just knowing it will make your conversation sexier.

Bookmark your favourite sex stories in past issues and take turns reading them aloud to each other.

Take a mid-afternoon nap
Wrap a blanket snugly around your intertwined bodies.

 Give each other a massage

Using sensual body oils, followed by a shower together

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
What’s The Worst Thing Someone’s Said To You In Bed? - Part One
 ‘I could give birth right now and not feel a thing.’ Sam*, 19

 ‘Sorry what’s your name?’ Tori*, 21

 ‘Can you hurry up and finish?’ Dave*, 28

‘Why don’t we try something with you and your best friend?’ Celine*, 19

 ‘Are you really gay or not?’ Ferguson*, 21

*Names have been changed

Now read What’s The Worst Thing Someone’s Said To You In Bed? - Part Two

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
What's The Worst Thing Someone's Said To You In Bed? - Part Two
 ‘Is it in yet?’ Sean*, 28

 ‘Can I put it somewhere else?’ Hayley*, 23

 'Your feet stink!’ Isabella*, 19

‘Now I understand why you should only go down on a girl in the shower.’ Nicky*, 25

 ‘That was quick!’ Vio*, 26

*Names have been changed

Go back to What’s The Worst Thing Someone’s Said To You In Bed? - Part One

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
Hey small spender
 Plan all your shopping, make lists and only buy what you’ve written down. Before each new season, decide what you actually need and only buy those items.

 When you do have to go shopping, only take cash with you. Leave credit cards at home to avoid impulsive temptation.

 Clean out your cupboards. When you see how much you already have you’ll be less tempted to make impulsive purchases.

Don’t shop when you are pre-menstrual or upset. You’ll buy weird things you don’t need. Instead, go and see a movie or meet a friend for a coffee – both are much cheaper pick-me-ups.

 Return, return, return – even if after 10 minutes you realise you really shouldn’t have bought something, walk right back into the shop, or, if you are going home, turn around and go back. You will feel relief instead of that horrible shopper’s remorse.

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
5 Ways You Jinx Your Luck
 You hang around with a worrier
Experts call it social contagion: If you’re with someone who’s sure the world is against her, that thinking can infect you, too.

 You don’t smile
Research shows leading with a smile causes ‘mirror neurons’ to fire in other people, causing a bond to be formed more quickly.

 You’re vague about what you want
If you’re not extremely clear about what you’re looking for, you’ll miss the signs that might lead you there.

You rush into things
Impulsive decisions are usually based on fear, not on what you really want.

 You get off on the wrong foot
Expect to sabotage your diet/relationship/job interview and that’s most likely how it will play out.

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 12:00 +0200
Get A Conversation Rolling
Before a social event, peruse the news so you’ll have fascinating things to talk about (just skip heavy issues).

While chatting with someone, ask questions that help you tap into a passion, like if they’ve taken a cool trip lately. People grow more engaged when they feel strongly about a topic.

 Dig deeper: If somebody says they live on Bond Street, follow with ‘Isn’t there an amazing bakery nearby?’ It shows your interest and provides added subject threads to discuss.

Meet up at a local bar that has a fun, relaxed ambience, and order a bunch of different apps (chorizo bites, calamari, shrimp cocktail) to share for dinner.

 Consider: Who is your fave female celeb and why? She may possess qualities you hope to cultivate in yourself.
Fri, 31 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Sexy vs Skanky
A hot pink dress
A hot pink wig

A built-in home stripper pole
A built-in home tanning bed

Nicknaming your guy’s penis (think Big Ginger)
Telling your friends what you call it

Third dates
Court dates

Calling your mom 'cos you miss her
Calling your mom to dis her
Tue, 28 May 2013 12:00 +0200
It's Just a Date
Like yourself and know you’re worthy
You can’t look to someone else to give you your value. Spend your time doing things that make you feel worthwhile. That way, if he climbs out the bathroom window after one Windhoek, your hopes for the future don’t vanish with him!

 Get a life, have a life
A busy woman with an exciting schedule is more attractive than someone who carries her phone to the bathroom, praying it will ring. Make a man think, ‘Wow, she’s got other priorities than me and a cool life.’

 Don’t accept less than an actual date
If you don’t accept pseudo-dating or ‘hanging out’ then you leave him with two choices: to ask you out properly or do without your company.

Don’t show the movie before the trailer
Make sex an event, not a given. Anticipation is the greatest aphrodisiac in the world. So how long before the main event? When in doubt, apply the three-date rule.

 Not every date will turn into a relationship
Even if romantic sparks don’t fly, there will usually be food (or at least drinks) and you might make a new friend or business contact. Remember, it’s just a date!

Mon, 27 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Why Don't You?
…be totally selfish.
You know the announcement about securing your own oxygen mask before helping others? Apply that to your life. ‘It sounds counter-intuitive, but meeting your own needs first makes you a better friend,’ says Amy DuBois Barnett, author of Get Yours! (Three Rivers Press). ‘The happier you are, the more energy and compassion you have for others.’

 ...give your guy a reverse strip-show.
Taking it off has been done, but putting it on? Now that’s a sexy show. While he’s lounging in bed, slip into your bra with your back to him, turning just as you’re seductively adjusting the goods. Then wiggle into your pants, letting your fingers linger on your hips. Well, rinse and shine!

 …create a signature scent.
Call it eau de you. Invent your own fragrance by layering two or three scents at a time on your wrist, then whiff the result, says Jane Hendler of Ajne, a personalised-perfume maker. Her advice: ‘Stick to one aroma family, like floral, citrus, or woodsy.’

…make him fall for you.
You, hot thing, can put a love spell on any guy with this trick: Mimic him. Nicholas Boothman, author of How to Make Someone Love You Forever! (Workman Publishing Company), recommends matching his body language (he leans in, you lean in) and speech style (he talks slowly, you talk slowly) to subconsciously drive home how compatible you are.

  …turbo flirt.
When you’re at a party or an event where you don’t know anyone, take advantage of being anonymous by flirting your ass off. Step out of your coquette comfort zone and test-drive being gutsier than usual: Hold eye contact for a few seconds longer than is ‘respectable’ or boldly send over a drink to the Adrian Grenier lookalike.

Fri, 24 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Bad Animal Instincts
The female house sparrow is kind of the jealous type. She seeks out nests of other females her partner has mated with and kills the babies.

 Never grab lunch with a northern leopard frog. In order to swallow, it retracts its eyeballs so they press on its throat, forcing food down.

 Think you had it bad as a kid? For the first month of their lives, killer whales and bottlenose dolphins don’t sleep and never stop swimming.

Want to know how Dracula ants got their name? They practice a delightful form of feeding by sucking blood from their larvae.

 After mating the female praying mantis kills and eats her mate. Guess it wasn’t good for her.
Wed, 22 May 2013 12:00 +0200
How To Lose A Job In Seconds
 Arriving more than 15 minutes early.

 Whipping out the handshake of death.

 Wearing a too-sheer top.

 Sporting flip-flops

 Getting way too excited about Friday drinks.
Mon, 20 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Things Guys Wish We Knew - Part Two
We’re terrified of ending relationships. We’re always hoping the ‘fade-away’ will work for us.

Men need a man cave – whether it’s an actual room or just time to decompress mentally.

 We get self-conscious about hair on our back. A guy’s lying if he says he doesn’t manscape.

We like being the hunter/provider. And the last thing we want is for our girlfriend or wife to ask another hunter/provider for help. It’s an ego thing.

If you say to a guy ‘We need to talk’ and he doesn’t run, he’s probably The One for you.

Read Things Guys Wish We Knew - Part One

Mon, 13 May 2013 12:00 +0200
The Truth About Women and Sex
Conventional Wisdom
You have to feel desire to get aroused.
Bold New Thinking
You don’t need to be in the mood to get excited.

Conventional Wisdom
Women take forever to get turned on.
Bold New Thinking
We don’t necessarily need a long preamble to get going.

 Conventional Wisdom
Dry down there? You’re not feeling it.
Bold New Thinking
Lubrication isn’t the only indicator of desire and arousal.

Conventional Wisdom
Women have lower libidos than men do.
Bold New Thinking
Women have a broader range of sex drives than men do.

 Conventional Wisdom
Women aren’t particularly visual creatures.
Bold New Thinking
Females respond to all kinds of erotic images.
Fri, 17 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Learn To Live With It
His Favourite Team
Sports lovers grow up identifying strongly – like, insanely strongly – with certain players and teams. It’s a huge part of their sense of self. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you make jabs at them, then you are basically ripping him apart, too.

Those Few Extra Kilos
Men deal with their love handles or beer belly by joking about it or pretending they never noticed that they don’t have six-pack abs. The truth is, guys are just as body-conscious as women are, so you’ll hurt his feelings if you continually harp on him to eat less and work out more, making him even more resistant to following your advice.

 His Friends
Assuming his buddies aren’t truly criminal or dangerous, don’t talk about their flaws or ask him to stop hanging out with them. Even if your boyfriend knows that you are right, he’ll revert to guy code and defend them… and probably get angry with you.

His Family
These people aren’t going to go away any time soon, so even if they’re dead ringers for the Osbournes (sans mega bucks and rock star element) you’re just going to have to smile and wave. He probably thinks they’re weird as hell too, but dissing them is going to make him jump to their defence.

 His Religion
This is a biggie, and can become a problem in the future when kids come into the equation. Since you can’t change this about him, a long-term relationship will require some compromising. Which is doable. But don’t even think about convincing him otherwise – it ain't gonna happen.
Wed, 15 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Head Games
To The Side:
If he does it while you’re speaking, he’s interested in what you’re saying. But if he’s the one talking, watch out. He’s trying awfully hard to prove he’s not lying.

Tilted Back:
He’s looking down his nose at you – literally and figuratively. But it’s not necessarily bad; he may be challenging you in the hopes that you’ll be his match.

This guy’s direct and tells it like it is. If he says he likes you, he means it.

Down and Aside:
If it’s down and to his left, he’s busy thinking something over. To his right? He’s feeling emotional – you may want to ask him what’s on his mind.

Slightly cocked:
He could be trying to establish whether what you’re saying is true.

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Things Guys Wish We Knew - Part One
We think it’s okay for us to have baggage, but yours still freaks us out.

We don’t understand why you like to draw out little arguments. After five minutes, we’ve mentally moved on to the game or working out or sex.

 Quiet confidence is incredibly sexy.
Women marry men hoping to change them, and men marry women hoping they don’t change. It’s unrealistic, but it’s reality.

When a guy says he doesn’t know why you’re angry with him, deep down, he really does.

Read Things Guys Wish We Knew - Part Two

Fri, 10 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Simplify Your Bathroom Mascara older than three months and creamy cosmetics older than six months.
All but one of any product of which you have multiple, almost-empty bottles.
Expired and outdated meds.
Your stockpile of freebie lotions, shampoos, and shower caps from hotels.
Ratty, ugly towels that ‘still work.’ Towels always work!
Tue, 07 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Decode His Weekend Attire
If his style includes:

A collared shirt: Make Mr Preppy happy with dinner at a traditional, cosy Italian restaurant.

T-shirt and jeans: Treat this laid-back dude to a trip to the movies.

Skinny pants and a beanie: Get your hipster tickets to see a local indie band.

Workout clothes: Surprise this guys' guy with a night at your local sports bar.

Smart pants and a blazer: Take him to a cigar bar where he can sip on expensive whiskey.

Fri, 03 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Times You're Allowed to Be a Bitch (Part Two)
You surprise your 'sick' boyfriend at home, only to find him on the couch with a bucket of KFC, beer cans... and his best friend.

While buying a new lipstick, the sales assistant tells you that she can help with those bags under your eyes and your dull complexion.

A co-worker who wants your cubicle suggests you be moved so you have more privacy to talk to your 24-hour on-call shrink.

Your friend says that when she Googles you, those wild holiday in Plett shots that she posted on her blog are the first result.

Miss Bridezilla has chosen lingerie-style bridesmaids' dresses and suggests you 'lose a few' before her special day.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Times You're Allowed To Be a Bitch (Part One)
Your guy's not going to 'return the favour' post-sex because the game's about to start.

The guy you like leaves a message and gives you his number… and then your roomie hits delete.

That dress you told your best friend you were definitely buying? She just bought it.

You've been passed over for a huge promotion, and your friend - who you nursed through a breakup - doesn't have time for you because 'my bikini line is a disaster and I have a hot date tonight.'

After taking a huge bite of your burger, you discover a thick, black, curly (um, pubic?) hair stuck between your teeth.

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Zip It!
That a band had to get a restraining order against you (their number-one fan).

The nitty-gritty details of your killer yeast infection.

That your childhood nickname was Farty Pants.

The fact that you secretly love popping the zits on your guy's back.

That you can't resist snooping through other people's medicine cabinets.

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Killer Cardio Combos
Elliptical/Skipping-Rope: A skipping-rope is a high-impact activity that seriously blasts fat. But it's tough to keep up for long. So, cap off a 20-minute session on the elliptical with 5 to 10 minutes of jumping with a skipping-rope to rev your heart rate and boost your overall burn.

Stairmaster/Jog: Hop on the Stairmaster for 15 minutes to get your heart pumping and to loosen your legs. Then run on the treadmill (no incline) for 10 to 15 minutes at 8 to 10km/h. Push yourself to the max.

Walk/Bike: Strolling uphill works the back of your legs; cycling focuses on the front. To sculpt your stems from all angles (and scorch calories), briskly walk (6km/h +) on the treadmill at an incline (3 to 4% upgrade) for 15 minutes. Then bike for 15 minutes.

Step Machine/Rower: A step machine jacks up your heart rate while pushing your legs to their limit. The rowing machine is a big burner too, but it taxes your upper body and abs. for a total body blast, step for 10 minutes, followed by 15 minutes of rowing.

 Jack-knives/Push-ups: Both these activities get the heart-rate up big-time while using very different muscle groups. Do 30 jack-knives followed by 10 push-ups. If you don’t have a lot of upper body strength, do the push-ups on bended knees. Repeat three times.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Save Your Own Life
Take Notes: Preparing a list of symptoms ahead of time will prevent you from forgetting any important details when the doctor asks how you feel.

Be Specific:
Avoid terms like 'the flu' or a 'bad cold' in favour of words that describe your symptoms more precisely.

Bring Someone With You:
Another person can help give the doctor info about your condition and medical history, things you may forget or inadvertently downplay.

Get a Second Opinion: Nobody knows everything. If your gut is telling you a doctor's diagnosis is wrong, go and see somebody else.

Go To The Top: If you feel you're not getting the response your condition warrants, ask to speak to someone more senior who has more experience and may be better able to diagnose you.

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Touch Yourself Warning
Don't say, 'That's okay, babe, I'll just finish the job myself,' after he tries to please you.

Don't hand him a piece of paper and a pen, and tell him to take notes so he can learn your moves.

Don't start calling your hand a sexy nickname, like the Pleasure Palm.

Don't talk dirty to yourself.

Don't scream, 'Oh yeah, [insert your name here]! This is the best I've ever had!'

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Find The Real Him
Does he have fond childhood memories of his parents? If he didn't feel adored as a child, he may have difficulty forming emotional attachments now. But if he felt loved, he can probably give his heart freely.

Does he refuse to work at a job he hates? A guy who sacrifices security to follow his passion doesn't cruise through life in the easy lane, which means he'll stick with you through thick and thin.

Can he laugh at himself? Being able to make light of his screw-ups is a sure sign that he has an easygoing disposition and probably won't come down too hard on you, either.

Is he still tight with old male friends? Maintaining long-term close ties shows loyalty, and the fact that they are guys indicates that he isn't threatened by other men… or a strong female.

How does he feel about his ex-girlfriends? If he talks about them respectfully or is still friendly with a few, it's a pretty safe bet he's a stand-up guy since he was able to leave the relationship with grace.

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Leg Lies
Myth: Cardio can give you toned legs. Fact: If you want shapely legs, you have to add resistance training - squats, lunges, etc. - to your routine so your muscles tear down and 'grow' back with more definition.

Myth: Leg presses will make you bulk up in a big way. Fact: Oestrogen prevents women from becoming enormously muscle-bound. Some female bodybuilders take steroids or hormone supplements.

Myth: It's better to increase reps than pounds lifted. Fact: It's one or the other, and an effective workout should incorporate both elements. If you're not struggling at the end of your set, it's time to jack up the weights and tack on three more reps.

Myth: Exercise will change the shape of your legs. Fact: Your genes dictate the width of your hips, the distribution of fat on your knees and the size of your calves. While exercising can tone you up and reduce fat overall, you can't change the general proportions of your legs.

Myth: To really firm up you have to run. Fact: Good news for those who deplore hitting the tarmac - cycling, the Stairmaster and the elliptical machine provide just as good a workout as the treadmill, with less strain on the joints.

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Your Date Decoded
If he:

Invites you out with friends, he wants people to see you as a couple.

Takes you for a quiet dinner, he craves get-to-know-you time.

Plans morning activities, he desires time with you outside hookup hours.

Takes you to his folks for a braai, he's seeing you as a long-term prospect.

Invites you out with colleagues, he thinks you make him look good and wants to show you off.

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
His Fighting Style Decoded
The Clam: He goes mute at the first sign of conflict. How To Handle Him: Voice how you feel, then say you're heading out for an hour, but need to discuss it later. Giving him time to process his thoughts will make him more likely to open up.

The Rager: He totally flies off the handle at anything even resembling a tiff. How To Handle Him: First, figure out if this is related to a recent life event (job or family stress). If it's just part of his DNA, there isn't much you can do. Say you're not interested in out-screaming him - you'll deal with the issue when he works on his temper.

The Jokester: He defuses any sticky issue via humour. How To Handle Him: By cracking jokes or making puppy-dog eyes, he's trying to get back on your good side, so don't yell at him for mocking you. Calmly repeat what's bugging you, and eventually he'll be forced to answer like an adult.

The Twister: He twists stuff around so it's always your fault. How To Handle Him: Instead of finger-pointing ('You're blaming me when you were the one who was an hour late?!'), stop him in his tracks by saying that the bottom line is, you are feeling hurt and want to find a solution together.

The Mr Passive Aggressive: He says everything's 'fine' when, clearly, it's not. How To Handle Him: Instead of badgering him to talk to you as he stomps around in unexpressed rage, say, 'Clearly, you're still upset. When you're ready to stop pretending and talk to me like a grown up, please give me a call.'

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs He's About To Dump You (Part Two)
His idea of being naughty in public now involves asking for the waitress's phone number in front of you.

He just came over unexpectedly and found you in bed with your ex-boyfriend.

You tell him you need more intimacy, and he patiently tells you that it's just your silly imagination acting up.

He always feels tired when you come over, and yet he's often out with friends until 4am.

He starts going out of town frequently on long 'business' trips even though he's unemployed. Not only that, but he insists on taking the toothbrush he's always kept at your place with him.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs He's About To Dump You (Part One)
He won't talk about the future anymore… like where you're going to eat dinner.

He puts everything you've ever left at his flat in a box he keeps at the bottom of his cupboard and claims it's 'just to make sure nothing gets lost.'

You discover the expensive anniversary gift you just gave him for sale on OLX.

Your friends keep 'accidentally' leaving copies of He's Just Not That Into You at your place, then refusing to take them back until you've read the book cover to cover.

After you tell him he can do whatever he wants, he snaps, 'Why are you always trying to control me?'

>>>Go To Part Two

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:00 +0200
Simplify Your Wardrobe
Anything that itches, pinches, pulls, or otherwise makes you not wear it. Shoes count.

Unflattering clothing (hello, camel toe), even if you did pay a lot for it. Invite an honest friend over to help you evaluate.

Multiples of basics like black tees, slipslops and jeans (keep the best of each).

Your wardrobe from three sizes ago.

Outdated fashions - stop waiting for baby backpacks or high-heeled sneakers to re-emerge.

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Simplify Your Storage Areas
Souvenirs that don't move you, like ticket stubs, wedding programmes and knick-knacks. Keep one thing from each major trip.

Old pictures, posters, and magazines - send the pictures to friends; and only keep the magazines and posters that really mean something to you.

University textbooks and class notes you'll never need again.

Any appliance you've stashed until you get it fixed/find the manual/need a yoghurt maker.

Exercise equipment and DVDs that you haven't used/looked at for at least a year.

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Surprises No Guy Wants
A sexy reminder of you tucked into his luggage - namely, the kind that starts vibrating and causes a suitcase search while he's going through airport security.

Matching his-and-hers tracksuits - even as a joke. It's okay to want to grow old together, just not okay to look old together.

Dozens of flowers. Sent to his office. The day after your first date.

A casual brunch that you 'forgot' to mention your mom and sister would be attending… and during which your girls spend the whole time giddily discussing the details of your sister's upcoming wedding.

Realising that when you said you'd be willing to try a threesome, you meant with another guy.
Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
The Moan Dictionary
Mmmm: 'Keep going, she's almost there.'

Aaah: 'This is definitely the G-spot noise.'

Oooh: 'Houston, we have a problem: She's not into my move.'

Woooow: 'She's pleasantly surprised by the size of my enormous penis.' (Ha!)

Grrrrr: 'This girl is seriously into it.'

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs He's Not The One (Part Two)
The two of you fight so much that you're beginning to consider 'emasculating wench' a term of endearment.

You're a bitchy brunette in a romantic comedy, and your boyfriend just met Kate Hudson.

When you run into some of his friends and they ask your name, he replies, 'It's not important.'

He won't RSVP to your sister's party tomorrow night because he 'really can't plan that far in advance.'

On your birthday, he flew you solo to a spa in Mozambique. But an hour into the flight you realised it was a one-way ticket.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs He's Not The One (Part One)
He's moved in, but he keeps all his clothes in a suitcase by the door, 'just in case.'

It's been a hot, torrid three months, but you still don't know his middle name, eye colour, or what he looks like in the daylight.

The only thing he's ever left at your apartment is a mess.

You begin having elaborate relationship fantasies about other men: the cutie who makes your morning coffee, the IT guy you never noticed before...

You were one of the first people to know about his big promotion at work... by reading his Facebook status.

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Words That Deepen Ties

'I feel exactly the same way.' Common interests draw you closer, so highlight similarities, from sharing a love of dark comedies to supporting the same teams.

'Can I get you a coffee?' Doing someone a favour shows you consider her more than an acquaintance. Example: Treat a co-worker to a coffee… and refuse to let her pay you back.

'Don't tell anyone, but...' Revealing a secret means you trust the person, which makes her feel important and strengthens your bond. (Resist disclosing anything too intimate, though).

'Want half of my sandwich?' Sharing really is caring - even if they don't accept, the person will feel honoured that you regard them highly enough to part with some of your lunch.

'Can I help you with that?' Offering to lend a hand makes you come across as thoughtful and caring, and the person will be more inclined to ask for your help in return.

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Feel More Confident On Top
Worry #1: Your Out-of-Shape Body Is On Display. Your guy is just ogling you with lust. But if you can't let go of those self-conscious thoughts, don a sexy cami. You'll still be super-hot, but without feeling so vulnerable and exposed.

Worry #2: You Won't Do It Right. Simply taking the initiative to climb on top will turn your guy on. Not sure what he wants? Ask. He'll happily divulge his desires. Also, tell him to let you know when he likes your moves to up your confidence.

Worry #3: You'll Get Tired Before He's Done. All that up-and-down can be hard on a girl's thighs. To curb fatigue, change position - lean forward, with your chest against his and your arms supporting your weight. When you get tired, lean back and use your legs more.

Worry #4: You'll Get There Before He Does. Let him know you're reaching the goal post, and ask to change positions for a while (him on top) so that he has a chance to catch up.

Worry#5: He Won't Like You Being Sexually Dominant. Okay, hold the phone! Guys love when a woman takes charge. Believe us.

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Fuse With Your Guy When He's Gone
Send a random love note scented with your perfume to the hotel where he'll be staying on a trip.

PVR the TV shows he'll hate missing so he can enjoy a marathon when he returns.

Send him a pic of your bed with the message, 'Counting down the hours until you meet me here.'

Load a podcast by his favourite comedian onto his iPod pre-travel so he'll have something to lighten his mood.

Look up a list of great restaurants in the city he's visiting, and send links to online reviews in case he has no time to find good eats.

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Pre-Play Primers
Create Some Heat: Plan your next meal at a Mexican restaurant. 'Try a dish with hot peppers,' says Dr Yvonne K Fulbright. The effects of the chemical capsaicin in these veggies mimic sexual arousal (increased heart rate and flushing) 'and often cause people to attribute the reaction to feelings of passion for their partner.'

Turn Up The PDA: But keep it subtle - a gentle squeeze to his knee or something whispered in his ear will remind him of how much he loves doing the deed with you, and keep the fires stoked for the big event.

Get His Opinion: Since guys are innate problem solvers, seek his advice on great happy-hour options or the best new movie. The fact that you want his input will boost his ego, says Fulbright.

Size Him Up Right: Focus on his eyes, mouth, then eyes again… and then flash a smile, says body-language expert Patti Wood. This sequence broadcasts that you can't wait to be alone with him.

Send Him a Message: A few hours before you're due to meet up send him a sexy message followed by 'Can't wait to see you!' He won't be able to think of anything else, and by the time you hook up, he'll be rearing to go.

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Cheat-Proof Your Relationship
Participate in your guy's personal passions (if he invites you to), and show him what makes you tick. No real connection can exist if it's a one-way street.

Be open to new ideas in bed or to simply having more sex. That doesn't mean agreeing to anything and everything he wants, but sex represents intimacy for men, so keep in mind how much getting it on matters to him.

Talk at least 10 minutes a day if you have to be apart. Sharing little day-to-day details creates the fabric of your life together. And no, Whatsapping can't accomplish the same thing as hearing each other's voices can.

Suggest getting together with his female friend or co-worker if he seems to mention her a lot. The woman in question will be less likely to move in on your man if she knows (and likes) you.

Accompany him to evening activities, whether business or social, as much as possible (unless he's claiming a boys' night out). In general, when alcohol is flowing, tempting situations are more likely to crop up.

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Custom Ways To Say 'No Way!' nay.

'No, but thanks for thinking of me.'

'I'm sorry, but I'm just not in a position to take that one.'

'I won't have time to do a good job with this. Why don't you ask (someone else's name here) instead?'

'I'm flattered, but I can't.'

'That's a great idea, but I'm going to have to pass.'

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs Your Guy Is Completely Lying (Part Two)
The only time he utters 'I love you' is right before he climaxes.

When you make a joke about his porn stash, he says he doesn't even have one… then awkwardly stands between you and his sock drawer for the rest of the night.

He's hired a lawyer to respond to your e-mails on his behalf.

He patiently explains that the dozens of messages he gets between 1 and 4am are from his insomniac grandmother.

He assures you that those small people who appear on weekends and call him Dad are just short-term sub-letters.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs Your Guy Is Completely Lying (Part One)
When you find him in bed with a pair of D-cupped yoga instructors, he says, 'This isn't what it looks like, I promise.'

He swears that he's still in his 20s yet he's never heard of Eminem, Lost or MySpace.

After you ask what he did last night, he responds, 'Hey, is that a new blouse? It looks fantastic!'

He claims that he already has plans for the night your mom will be in town… though you haven't told him when that is.

When you ask him a question, he prefers staring directly in to the sun than make eye contact with you.

>>>Go To Part Two

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Being Too Good (Part Two)
Whenever a guy uses the line, 'Haven't we met before?' you try to help him figure out where.

At work, you turn in memos with your name left off so it's easier for your boss to steal your ideas.

After every session with your boyfriend, you make sure to ask him whether he climaxed.

You find jeans with magical bum-enhancing properties at 75% off… and let your best friend buy them.

The last time something vibrated in your bedroom it was the alarm clock on your cell phone going off.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Being Too Good (Part One)
Anytime your mom criticises something about your life, you realise she's right.

To you, a long night of drinking means catching up on eight to 10 glasses of water you missed during the day.

You never giggle when you hear the words 'doggie', 'being anal' or '69'.

When an awkward guy asks you out you say 'yes' so you don't hurt his feelings. Of course, that was a year ago, and he's still your boyfriend because you don't know how to tell him you're just not into him.

Those pretty, fragile glass ornaments you collect? Your store them on your headboard.

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Partying Too Hard
You don't drink every night, but when you do, you go wild. Many women rationalise that it's okay to drink heavily over the weekend because during the week they rarely drink at all.

Friends phone you the next day to tell you about the things you did when you were drinking, which you don't always remember.

Hooking up with a guy and then realising it was a big mistake is a clue that alcohol is clouding your judgement when it comes to sex and safety.

More often than not, you wake up with the pounding headache, upset stomach, dry mouth and nausea due to your hangover.

Your partying habit has interfered with work, varsity, or relationships. It doesn't keep you from functioning, but it may be messing up your day-to-day life in small ways.

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Signs The Sex Is Good
His Breathing Changes: Some guys take short, jagged breaths; others take big gulps of air. Any change, though, indicates that his body is revved up.

His Face Is Flushed: When a man is aroused, blood rushes to the surface of the skin, moving up from his chest to his face.

He Gets Freaky:
If he does something primal, like grabs your hair, your moves have broken down his inhibitions and he's going on basic instinct.

His Toes Curl... Literally: When you're aroused, muscles contract, so look for clenched fists, extended legs, and yes, curled toes.

His Eyes Narrow: When your man is in the throes of passion, his eyes will drop to half-mast.

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
His Valentine's Day Fantasy
Celebrating Traditionally: This event has its roots in a pagan festival that featured lots of kinky sex. Just saying.

Welcoming Him Home The Way He Dreams Of: Light scented candles, run a deep bath and put on soft music. After you've soaked and soaped, turn off the music and simply lie in bed waiting for him.

Give Him a Whole Bunch Of 'Happy Valentine's Day' Helium Balloons: Then react enthusiastically when he ties them all to a lawn chair and sees how high he can float.

Rent a Silly, Valentine's Day-Themed Movie: There's nothing better than laughing together.

Wear Something Revealing: Whether it's lipstick, nail polish or a giant clown nose (if he has a whacky sense of humour), just make sure you're not sporting much else.

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Sex Kitten Vs Wildcat
Subtly Seductive: Wearing low-waisted jeans that reveal a sliver of tummy. Coming On Too Strong: Pulling your jeans down so low you reveal bum cleavage.

Subtly Seductive: Sexily sipping an icy drink while out at a bar. Coming On Too Strong: Sliding an ice cube over your neck and décolletage at a bar.

Subtly Seductive: Telling a guy you meet that you think he's cute. Coming On Too Strong: Telling him he's so sizzling, you could fry an egg on his abs.

Subtly Seductive: Typing your number into his cell. Coming On Too Strong: Writing it on his inner thigh.

Subtly Seductive: Suggestively licking your lips after a bite of dessert. Coming On Too Strong: Licking his lips after he takes a bite of dessert.

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Sunscreen Checklist
Look for an SPF of at least 15: The SPF number tells you how long the sunscreen protects you, compared to the length of time it would take you to get burned without sunscreen. (For example, if your skin turns red after 20 minutes, SPF 15 keeps you from getting lobster-like 15 times longer, or five hours).

Make sure it has UVA protection as well as UVB: Check the ingredient list for zinc oxide or titanium dioxide; both physically block UVA and UVB rays.

Squeeze out a shot glass-size amount: Coat your skin in a thin, even layer and, if you can, put it on when you're naked so you don't miss a spot.

Reapply every two hours you're outside, even if you're using a so-called waterproof sunscreen. These typically wear off just as fast as the regular type.

Beware the watery, spray-on varieties: While the fact that these are invisible makes them great to use, it's easy to apply too little and miss spots. Make sure you're properly protected by going over the same area twice.

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Quick Sex Advice Touch Me There! (Hunter House Inc) solves your carnal quandaries.

'I want to have sex in public. Where's a place that will really drive him wild but where we're not likely to get caught?' In your car.

'I masturbate regularly, often more than once a day. Am I a freak?' No.

'What's a fun way to use a mirror?' Have him sit on a chair in front of it, and have sex.

'Does he want to see me masturbate?' Probably, yes.

'I've heard that guys like it if you don't ditch every article of clothing. Should I keep something on during sex?' Yes, thigh highs!

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
What You're Really Arguing About
The Complaint: 'He gets super-annoyed when I keep things at his place.'
The Underlying Issue: Fights about space are a commitment-phobia symptom.

The Complaint: 'I always have to initiate sex.'
The Underlying Issue: There's a chance you feel overlooked outside the bedroom. You may pursue sex as a substitute for the emotional connection you crave.

The Complaint:
'He wastes money on stupid stuff.'
The Underlying Issue: You could be questioning his impulse control, trustworthiness, or values - especially if he's previously promised to save but hasn't.

The Complaint: 'He never remembers important dates, like birthdays and anniversaries.'
The Underlying Issue: You're probably not completely sure about where his priorities lie, or whether he's as committed to the relationship as you are.

The Complaint: 'He's friends with his ex'.
The Underlying Issue: You're a bit insecure about whether you measure up - and suspect he might still be harbouring feelings for her.

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
What His Bed Reveals
Basic: The average guy buys cheap, solid-coloured bedding. This man is unlikely to spring any surprises on you - in or out of the sack.

Silky: If his sheets are satiny enough to double as a slippery slide, he may be a player who thinks luring you into his room will guarantee a score.

Matching: A high thread count and a matching duvet? His mom probably bought them, and he'll expect you to take care of him in the same way.

Comic Heroes: Superman duvet cover? Let's hope you're not after a serious commitment because emotionally, this guy is seven.

Designer Duvet:
Fancy labels and colour-coordinated scatter cushions? If you don't like materialistic guys, you might want to keep an eye on this one.

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
Shop For Fragrance Like a Pro
1. Come Clean
: Don't wear any perfume, scented body lotion or hairspray when you test fragrances. All these can affect the smell.

2. Know What You Like:
While you're looking for a new scent, it's useful to know the names of your favourite fragrances - it will help the salesperson identify new scents you're likely to love.

3. To Blot Or Not To Blot:
Should you smell a new scent on your skin or on a paper blotter? Always spritz a fragrance on a blotter first. If you hate it, you won't want it on your skin. If you like the smell on the blotter, then try it on your skin, although it won't smell exactly the same.

4. Don't Rush: It takes roughly an hour for a fragrance to develop fully. Perfumes are made up of top, middle and base notes. You smell the top notes for the first 10 minutes before they dissolve. Then come the middle notes, which last up to 40 minutes, and finally you're left with the base notes, which last for hours.

5. Resist Pressure: You don't need to make a decision on the spot. Ask for a sample and wear it for a few days to see if you really love it. We bet the fragrance you really love won't be the one you first tried on in the shop.

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Be Positive: Optimists are generally more successful at work than pessimists, as they deal with setbacks more constructively. The way you approach a hurdle affects your chances of getting over it.

Surround Yourself with High Achievers: Research indicates that we are influenced by the people we associate ourselves with. Spending time with people who are doing your dream job will get you up the career ladder faster.

Dump Negative Baggage:
If you've been unhappy or overlooked in previous jobs, put it behind you so that you can make a new start.

Expect Setbacks: Going for a promotion can seem like an almost impossible task. If you lose motivation or doubt your abilities, don't panic - it's common to apply for jobs and not get an interview, or go for interviews but not receive any job offers. Keep at it.

Get On With It:
Research suggests that avoiding tasks you should be tackling induces more stress than doing them in the first place. If you want to change your working life, do it sooner rather than later.

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Formula For Disaster
Picnic + outdoor sex = torrential downpour

Opening door - clothes + new lingerie = visit from his mom

Romantic meal + sensual massage = falling asleep

New sex toy - instructions = trip back to the sex shop

Unwaxed bikini line + booty-call visit = sex under the covers

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Love Lines
'How did I get so lucky?' Often, you may take for granted what a good thing you have going. This lets him know that you still realise you've hit the jackpot with him.

'I have so much fun with you.' It's important to reassure your partner that he still keeps you on your toes.

'You're so good at...' Whether it's tending the braai, crunching numbers or something altogether more personal, it's necessary to point out that you appreciate his talents.

'You're right, I'm sorry.' Look, you can't be right every time. In order to be equal partners, sometimes you have to be willing to admit defeat.

'Thank you.' It just takes two seconds - and two simple words - to let him know that you're grateful for the special things he's done for you.

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Things You Can Learn From His Ex (Part Two)
No matter how cute his brother is, saying it out loud creates lasting problems.

Nobody's ever told him that oven gloves aren't birthday presents, they're a dumpable offence. Do it now.

You'll never be able to convince him he snores like a wildebeest. Or maybe his 'type' comes fitted with heavy-duty earplugs.

If his friends had a nickname for her, they'll have one for you, too. Don't get offended, get creative: name them back.

He just wasn't that into her. But he is into you.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Things You Can Learn From His Ex (Part One)
He's secretly open to being styled. Come on, he didn't make it from T-shirt geek to bespoke chic without some serious female help.

He's never been in a relationship where he was forced to wash up. That's set to change!

She told him he was irritable in the morning. Now you tell him he's irritable in the morning. Can't he see the pattern?

Never let him borrow your CDs/DVDs - he still has most of her collection (well, that's his explanation for the Kylie boxed set).

Don't get wildly drunk at a family party – if Auntie Lyn is still banging on about his ex vomiting on her carpet two Christmases ago, it's worth staying sober.

>>>Go To Part Two

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Secret Signs Your One-Night Stand Wants More
He wants to chat about you after sex because he's interested in more than your body.

He closely watches your face and touches your cheek or lips with his fingertips (he's checking you're happy).

He gives you cuddles and spoons you.

The next morning, he doesn't decide he's 'late for work' or hurry you out of the door!

Before you say goodbye, he holds you face and kisses you gently on the lips.

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Excuses No One's Going To Believe (Part Two)
'I didn't forget your birthday. I just saw a really cute belated-birthday card I couldn't resist.'

'I realise I was speeding, but you have to understand, Officer, the paparazzi were chasing me the entire time.'

'Oh, please, you probably just picked it up from a toilet seat somewhere.'

'I wasn't snooping. It was lying in plain sight. Behind the grandfather clock I was cleaning. For the first time ever. What?!'

'I pretty much had to get a boob job - my car doesn't have air bags.'

<<<Go Back To Part One

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Excuses No One's Going To Believe (Part One)
'Did that guy have chiselled pecs? Really? I didn't even notice him walk by.'

'Rich! I called your mom a rich… character. Don't you agree? I mean she's so full of great stories and advice.'

'Ew, that plant just farted.'

'Dr Hotlove? No, that's really my doctor, I swear. He always contacts me late at night.'

'I was not kissing him. He was choking on an olive, and I had to give him the reverse Heimlich.'

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Evil Ways To Get Back at an Ex (Part Two)
When you go over to his place to claim your assorted belongings, stealthily swipe all of his remotes.

Gain notoriety for your blog: 'Hilarious Things I Found in My Ex's Trash.'

Casually mention to him that you finally got around to all those kinky sexual fantasies he was dying to try with you and, well, they're fantastic.

Pay your pregnant friend to pee on a stick that you leave for him with a Thanks for nothing! note attached.

Write your names inside a big heart on his lawn… with gasoline. Have a match handy for when he arrives.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Evil Ways To Get Back at an Ex (Part One)
You know his best friend - the guy he can't live without? Show up at his apartment wearing only a trench coat.

Hack into his Facebook profile and change his interests to face tattoos and porn.

Decorate his car with a bumper sticker that declares 'Small penis onboard.'

Wait until he's dining with a new date, then call the restaurant and ask the hostess to tell him that 'His kids are on the phone and they're wondering how long they'll have to wait outside.'

Become really, really, really hot.

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Top Hosting Tips Societi Bistro tells you how to make it sizzle.

Have an arrival drink conveniently placed near the entrance - preferably something everyone can help themselves to. Tip: Anything with tequila usually takes the edge off and gets the party going!

Opt for a Christmas-style cocktail party - some of the traditional favourites in bite-size portions (think: crostini with smoked turkey and cranberry sauce). This encourages mingling and is easier to serve, which means you have more opportunity to interact with your guests. Tip: Serve at room temperature.

Prepare your food the day before, as well-rested food always tastes better (unless it's something that can get soggy or spoil). Tip: Delegate some of the dishes to close friends to bring along under the guise that their version is the best you've ever had.

Create a festive, upbeat playlist on your iPod. Tip: Start playing the music while you are setting up to get you in the mood.

Spend as much time with your guests as possible. Tip: If you are having the best party of your life your guests will, too.

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
Naughty Moves That Scare Him
Tie his hands to your bedposts. Then, to really build anticipation, leave him there for 12 hours.

When he's on top, use your fingernails to etch the words 'I love you' backwards into his back so he can read it in his bathroom mirror.

As you orgasm, scream out not only his name but also his full address.

Initiate sex against a wall. Then, just as you're about to climax, grab him by the hair and bang his head against it.

Do a sexy pole dance when you pass one of any kind: street-lamp poles, traffic-sign poles, the poles holding up the volleyball net at his family reunion…

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
Bad First-Date Foods
A messy plate of spaghetti with bolognaise sauce.

Deep-fried anything.

A salad with low-fat dressing on the side.

Barbecued chicken wings.

Snails with butter and garlic.

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
Below The Belt Tricks (Part Two)
Wet the fabric of his underwear with your tongue, and puff short breaths of hot air on it.

While your man is on all fours, lower yourself under him and gently tilt his penis toward you so you can suck from underneath.

Drape a warm, wet washcloth over his penis to get his blood pumping.

Slip a vibrating ring onto the base of his shaft while giving him oral action.

Take a beaded necklace (one without exposed string or wire), lube it up, then wrap it around his penis and roll it up and down.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
Below The Belt Tricks (Part One)
Lick the skin between his balls during oral sex, then lightly suck each one.

Using massage oil, rub his chest and penis with the same motions.

Gently rub a bit of lube onto the head of his penis while stroking his shaft with the other hand.

Lift his sack, and flick your tongue on the crease of skin where the scrotum meets his body.

Slip on a massage mitt (a plastic glove found at most adult shops), and give him a lubed up hand job.

>>>Go To Part Two

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
Bad Beauty Savings
Make toothpaste last longer by brushing just the top row of teeth.

Bargain at-home wax kit: candle, blowtorch, pint of vodka.

Don't apply your black eyeliner every day - just use a black marker once.

Save on cotton wool by putting the dust bunnies under your bed to good use.

Replace nail files, pumice stones, and exfoliators by rubbing against brick walls.

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
Sneaky Signs He's Dating Other Girls
He Always Stays at Your Place:
A guy who is falling for you will want to welcome you into his personal space. So, if he habitually insists on going back to your house, it's likely that he isn't ready to get more serious. Plus, he may not want you to witness any evidence of other women at his house - for example, a pair of earrings that were left behind.

His Kissing Style Changes:
When you lock lips with someone, you unconsciously match your make-out technique with theirs. If your kissing groove with a guy suddenly feels a bit off, it may be because he's recently been with another girl.

He Waits Forever To Phone: A sure clue that you are one of many: He always asks at the last minute if you want to hang out. The fact is, if he's into you - and only you - he will want to make sure he has dibs on your weekend before some other lucky guy does.

He Walks Away To Take a Call: If it's really his mom/friend/colleague, why be secretive about it?

He Can't See You On Saturday Nights:
Everybody knows this is date night; if it's not you he's dating, it's probably somebody else.

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
Tame Your Tresses
Fine Hair: If your texture is very fine, don't skip conditioner because you think it'll weigh the hair down. Without moisturising, the cuticle dries and the strands fall flat. Avoid residue by rinsing well. (TRY: Marc Anthony Oil Of Morocco Argan Oil Conditioner, R99.99, exclusive to Dischem)

Wavy Hair: If you have loose curls, shaped like egg noodles, avoid a heavy shampoo. This can cause build-up, turning strands crunchy. Switch to a clarifying shampoo to add bounce and softness. (TRY: Wella Professionals Balance Pure Purifying Shampoo, R150)

Curly Hair: Applying anti-frizz spray on tight curls isn't effective unless you apply while hair is still damp, before the frizz sets in. Always do a mist pre-blow-dry. (TRY: VO5 Miracle Mist, R45.99)

Long Hair: A heavy conditioner can weigh you down. Instead, use a moisturising shampoo followed by a tiny amount of Moroccan or Argan oil for softness. (TRY: L'Oréal Mythic Oil Shampoo, R210, or Moroccan Oil Treatment, R295)

Limp Hair: Avoid using too much volumising product, as this can build up in the hair, making it appear dull and lifeless. Use a small amount of mousse or 'lifting' spray and blow-dry the hair with a large, round brush. (TRY: Schwarzkopf Silhouette Color Brilliance Mousse Super Hold, R185 for 200ml, available at selected salons).

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Will He Be a Cheater?
He shrugs off his buddies' infidelities.

While sweet, he fails to do much of anything romantic.

He 'jokingly' reminds you that you beat out other women who wanted him.

Almost nothing triggers any kind of sentimentality in him.

Your relationship began when one or both of you cheated.

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Tips To Boost Your Relationship
Avoid Arguments: 'When emotions are running high, take a step back and make sure you pick the right time to bring up the contentious issues.'

Listen: 'Make conscious decisions to hear what your partner's saying without being critical.'

Go It Alone: 'If he won't go for counselling, talk to a friend who might encourage him. But it only takes one person to change the dynamic of a relationship, so you can also go on your own - it'll give you space to look at how you want the relationship to be and what you want out of it.'

Bring Back The Love: 'If you've stopped being affectionate or listening to each other, try bringing this back into the relationship.'

Show Him How You Feel: 'Making a small gesture, like holding his hand or cooking his favourite meal, can make a bigger impact than you might think.'

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Fancy a Career Change?
Decide What's Right For You:
Choosing a new career is like meeting a man - you either feel the spark, or you don't.

Do Your Research: You wouldn't marry someone you'd just met in a bar - the same goes for jobs. Browse online and talk to people before committing.

Take Baby Steps: Thinking 'I've got to get a new job' is scary - so break it down into steps. All you're doing is sending out your CV, then going for interviews, then starting a new job. Easy.'

Have A Safety Net: Do your job-hunting while still employed, especially in the current climate, or have at least three months' salary saved before resigning. Plan how you'll cope financially if it takes you longer to find your dream job.'

Think Positive:
Find ways to make the most of your current job. It will help you avoid settling for another bad one, just to escape.

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Kick-Start Your Weight Loss Plan
Get Motivated:
'Write down all the reasons why you want to lose weight. Keep these thoughts clear in your mind to keep you motivated.'

Make Goals:
'Set small, achievable goals for yourself. You'll get a boost every time you reach one.'

Be Prepared: 'Go shopping and stock up on satisfying, filling foods for the week to make sure that your best-laid plans can be followed.'

Record, Record, Record: 'Studies have proven that keeping track of food intake significantly boosts weight-loss success, so keep a daily food dairy.'

Move More: 'Find a fun fitness activity. Think back to sports you enjoyed playing at school.'

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Banish That Blemish!
Do you keep breaking out in spots in the same place? If so, it's likely you've got acne mechanica. 'This occurs when something rubs or presses on the skin,' explains cosmetic dermatologist, Dr Puneet Gupta. 'It's particularly common if heat is also involved, which is why cell phones are a trigger for some people.' Here are the most common causes.

Your Spots Are: On the sides of your nose. The Likely Cause: Heavy glasses or supersized sunnies.

Your Spots Are: On your chin. The Likely Cause: Resting your chin on your hand.

Your Spots Are: On your shoulders. The Likely Cause: A heavy handbag or tight bra straps.

Your Spots Are: On your chest or mid-back. The Likely Cause: Your sports bra.

Your Spots Are: On the back of your neck. The Likely Cause: Your statement necklace.

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
How To Impress Your Boss
Be proactive and pay attention to detail. It's often the little things that make bosses notice you, so use your initiative and do things that need to be done.

Every company has its own culture - things that it sees as important to the business working well. Understanding this and working in a way that respects it will help to get you noticed.

Make your business case. When you're ready to ask for a promotion, go in prepared - explain not only what you want but also give valid, well-thought-out reasons as to why you would be the best person for the job.

Back up what you think you're worth. Give examples of past performance, and highlight situations that show you have the skill base to do the job you're applying for. And go in there with confidence.

Look the part. Make sure you are always smartly dressed, that your desk is neat and organised and, when asked a question, that you answer with authority.

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
A Bedroom He'll Never Want to Leave
Choose Chic Colours: Try a palette that will please both of you. Natural hues like taupe, ecru and sage green are soothing. Add accent pieces - like a vase or a mat - in bolder colours, such as orange.

Be Feminine, Not Girly:
Your guy doesn't want to feel as if he's staying in his little sister's room. So go with touches that are both pretty and functional. Banish dried flowers and instead opt for a sophisticated, oversize mirror or a cashmere throw.

Make Your Bed Simple: Few men bother to splurge on high thread-count linens for themselves, so dressing your mattress with super-soft sheets means he'll always want to stay at your place. Resist the urge to cover your bed with tons of pillows - just stick with a nice duvet or a simple blanket at the foot and a few big pillows.

Harness The Power Of Scent: Men rely on their sense of smell to determine if something is attractive, but you don't want to overwhelm him. Place a couple of candles with a fresh or slightly spicy sent (think red currant) on your dressing table. By grouping them together, you'll avoid the cheesy romance-movie vibe.

Stash Clutter: Tons of knick-knacks, beauty products, and clothing everywhere can make a guy feel like he's intruding on your personal space. Put him at ease by keeping your stuff organised in baskets and cute storage containers. Bonus: The fewer distractions there are, the easier it will be to focus on each other.

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Things Never To Say To a Man You Just Met
'What are your favourite baby names?'

'My ex was really into guns. That's him, over there.'

'I'm sorry, do you mind if I take this booty call?'

'Why didn't you pick up until the fourth ring when I called?'

'Can we swing by my place? I forgot to feed my 19 cats.'

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Harmless Bites That Wreck Your Diet
Splitting his large order of chips: You may think forgoing a burger for a salad allows you to splurge. But noshing half an order of fries once a week packs on 6kg per year.

Sharing mozzarella sticks as an appetiser:
Four with dip equals 440 calories. Once weekly at dinner, and that's an extra 3kg per year.

Splitting a bottle or red wine with a meal:
A half bottle contains 2.5 144ml. glasses and about 315 calories. All that booze on your Saturday date nights adds on 2.3kg per year.

Ordering a large popcorn: Even without butter, your half is 600-plus calories. Have it on Friday movie nights, and that's 4kg per year.

Eating a small scoop of ice cream from his bowl:
It may appear to be a tiny amount, but if you eat it once weekly, you'll gain 0.9kg per year.

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Let Go Of Your 30s Worries
Your career took some detours: The part of the brain that makes executive decisions matures well into your 20s. So, cut yourself slack for taking time to explore your options. Also, take inventory of what you've learned over the past five years - you'll feel accomplished and newly motivated to pursue your dream position.

You idealise 'the one that got away': Hindsight is rosier than reality, so ask a friend to remind you why you passed that guy up. Also, look at whether you're being treated better by men you've recently dated. If your ex couldn't give you what you needed, then odds are he can't do it now either.

Your biological clock feels like a drumbeat: Focus on alternative paths to your own ultimate goal, with or without a man. If time is running out to have your own children, other things can satisfy a need to nurture kids, like adopting or volunteering with a charity or day-care centre.

You're still broke: Debts, like a student loan, can take a long, long time to pay off; leaving you feeling like you'll never catch up. Work out how much you've already paid off - it will remind you that you are, in fact, on your way to reaching your goal.

Your friends are doing better than you: One of your best friends has moved to Clifton and another has just landed a fabulous job in New York. Enough to make you feel like a loser with a capital 'L'. It's tempting to compare, but don't – there will always be people better and worse off than you. And remember, life is the great leveller. Be happy for their success, and focus on being the best you can be.

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Spot a Date-Worthy Guy Online
Sure, looks are part of the equation, but be weary of a man who emphasises them ('six pack abs, built').

Be aware of a man who lists physical features he wants in a woman ('blue eyes, 1.5 metres or taller, under 59kg'). He's either shallow or only interested in getting laid.

'I'm looking for someone I can hang out and have fun with' is secret code for 'I want a bed buddy, not a commitment.'

Beware the pic he posts of himself in a T-shirt that reads 'St Tropez 1986' - it's highly unlikely this chancer geriatric looks like he did 26 years ago.

A guy who is in a rush to marry will be laser-focused on meeting women who are exactly his type. He'll have an extensive rundown of specifications he desires ('must like Thai Food, dogs, adventure travel, and surfing'), plus he'll note who need not apply ('If you smoke or are unemployed, don't bother').

Ready to take the leap? Give COSMO Online Dating a try.

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Love a Mo Bro
Use a hydrating cream on the affected area during the day. Creams that contain ceramides are more effective, as they help restore the epidermis and function as a barrier to further irritation.

Avoid soaps, toners and excessive washing as this can dry out the skin and cause further irritation.

Use a gentle soap-free cleaner to wash your face, and avoid scratching at all cost.

Compress a warm cloth to the affected area - instead of using plain warm water, opt for chamomile tea, as it contains anodyne and anti-flammatory properties.

For an instant cover-up solution, use a treatment foundation, but avoid products for oily skin, as this could further irritate and dry out sensitive skin. A green-tinted concealer will help to balance out any redness.

Find out how you can support CANSA this month by clicking on

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
When He Means Exactly What He Says
'I don't get the whole Sex and the City thing.'

'Can you not see that that male friend of yours wants to sleep with you?'

'Babe, I really think this can wait until after the game is over.'

'I would cut off the tip of my left pinkie to sleep with Megan Fox just one time.'

'I think you'd look really good in that red Lycra micro-mini.'

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
What Makes A Great Girlfriend
You Listen: Men want a woman who shows enthusiasm about stuff that's important to him, from his job to his fantasy football team. Making eye contact and asking questions conveys that interest.

You Do Your Own Thing: Your independence is one of your sexiest assets, so don't let hobbies and passions fall by the wayside. Maintaining your routine shows your interesting and confident attributes that no guy can resist.

You Laugh. Often: Guys may not want you to be one of those giggly girls, but they do want you to think they're funny. (Let's hope he is!)

You Call Him Out: If a man is habitually late or never calls when he says he will, he may be testing to see if you'll point out that he's acting like a jerk. The right man values a woman who respects herself enough to give him a challenge.

You Don't Sweat The Small Stuff:
Nobody's perfect – including you. On the odd occasion he overdoes it on the draught or pulls and all-nighter, let it slide. He'll be immensely grateful for your understanding.

Mon, 29 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Why He Never Plans Anything
No matter how devoted he is he likes to think of himself as a lone wolf.

If he plans a holiday for next year, it'll just accelerate his need to plan a wedding, the kids' varsity fund, and his retirement.

Even serial monogamists are predisposed to be commitment phobes - it's, um, just a fact. So, in other words, his instincts tell him that even simple dinner reservations are as scary as angry bees.

Men are L.A.Z.Y when it comes to social arrangements. Why should he pick up the phone when you'll probably sort his whole weekend out for him?

Deep down he believes that the second he invites you over for supper a lost Swedish supermodel is going to appear on his doorstep. Naked.

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Defuse His Crush
Use The Word Friend - A Lot: Tell him how glad you are that he's your friend, and let him know what a great friendship you have. Unless he's oblivious, you'll get your message across without risking resentment from him or shattering his ego with an outright rejection.

Be His Wingman: Take an interest in his love life or offer to introduce him to your single friends. And while you shouldn't torture him with TMI about your relationship, don't be afraid to tell him about dates you go on. It reminds him that you're both on the market - separately.

Be Honest, But Sensitive: If he's not picking up on your clues, you may have to be more direct. Say something like 'I care about you, but I don't feel that between us.' And if he asks what it is about him that you aren't into, don't take the bait. He doesn't really want to know.

Expect a Cold Shoulder:
Once he knows the deal, he may need to put some distance between the two of you for a while. Don't take it personally. And avoid trying to comfort him - it'd only rub salt in the wound. You can ask him if he wants to talk, but if he says no, wait for him to come to you.

Maintain Healthy Boundaries:
When he resumes the friendship, remember that he is, in fact, a guy. That means no touchy-feeliness and no, 'Oh, it's no big deal if he sees me in my bra.' You'll only be igniting the spark all over again.

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Friend Offences You Shouldn't Put Up With
When you and your boyfriend broke up, she stopped by his flat with freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies and a shoulder to cry on.

She loves your taste in fashion so much that she's constantly borrowing your clothes… and 'forgetting' to give them back.

Once, while drunk, she admitted that she likes to hang with you because she feels skinny in comparison.

When the lunch bill arrives, she says, 'Can you get it? I just bought a new handbag, so I'm low on cash today.'

You never make plans with her without having a solid backup option because you know there is a very good chance that she won't even show.

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Insider Advice
Ask at least three people to proofread your application: Recruiters say grammar and spelling errors on a cover letter or CV will hurt you.

Choose a boring e-mail address: Recruiters are put off by any e-mail address that isn't some combination of your first and last name.

Don't let an unrelated degree stop you from applying:
Recruiters say they wouldn't hold having an education in a different field against you.

Send a thank you e-mail:
After your interview, it's suggested that you send a thank-you e-mail.

Limit your follow-ups: Recruiters believe you should call or e-mail an interviewer no more than once a week to ask if you're still in the running.

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Is Your Connection Icing Over?
You haven't had sex in two weeks.

The last time you went out together on a Saturday night was… uh…

You have a hard time thinking of a day recently in which you haven't criticised him.

You don't share your feelings nearly as often as you share bottles of wine.

Tracksuit pants are your new skinny jeans.

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Things That Will Never Be Sexy
Chilli-flavoured lube.

Translucent-plastic platform heels.

Using the word bloated at any point on a first date.

The wet spot.

Camel toe... on a woman or man.

Mon, 15 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Subtle Clues That Say 'I Want You'
The Over-The-Knee Rub: Cross your legs, with the leg farthest away from him on top. Then massage the spot just above your knee. This will catch his eye and tap in to his brain's arousal centre.

The Eyebrow Lift: When he's telling you a story, raise your eyebrows as you make eye contact. Research has shown that the movement expresses sexual interest and desire.

The Mouth Gaze: As you're sitting across from him, look at his mouth and flash a sexy, closed-lip smile, like you have a secret. It's a primal signal that you want your hands - and mouth - on him.

The Hair Flick: Hair is sensual, sexy and a sign of youth and virility. By drawing attention to it you remind him, unconsciously, that you are extremely do-able. Not that he should need reminding…

The Touch: In conversation, lightly touch a non-sexual part of his body, like his shoulder or arm. By doing this you communicate that you'd like to touch him elsewhere, too.

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Make Your Space Look Bigger
Paint One Wall: A small room will feel less tiny if you paint one wall a contrasting colour and extend the paint onto the two adjacent walls approximately 32 centimetres apart. That way, it'll be difficult to tell where one wall begins and the other ends.

Go With Bigger Furniture: It may sound counter-intuitive, but small furniture can actually dwarf your room. Using outsize items - like a sleek, elongated armchair - makes the space feel grander and more dramatic and, thus, larger. Plus, the room won't feel overcrowded with just a few big pieces.

Hang Floor-To-Ceiling Curtains:
No matter what room they're in, long, attention-grabbing curtains can stretch your space. Just make sure that they start at the ceiling and go all the way down to the floor. If you only hang them at the tops of your windows, your eye 'sees' that as being the ceiling, which makes the space feel more confined.

Swap Out Lighting Fixtures:
Oversize lighting, like a gigantic chandelier or any big ceiling fixture, adds an element of fun and theatrics, which draws the eye up so you won't really notice how minuscule a room may be. Check out a flea market in your area. It's sure to have something glamorous, funky or chic.

Lower Everything:
A too-tall couch or bed can really cramp a room. The more space your create between the ceiling and your furniture, the more spacious the area will feel. To lower your bed and create a good-size gap, remove your box springs or your bed frame entirely, and place your mattress directly on the floor. To lower your couch, remove the legs.

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Why He Needs So Much Personal Space
When given the choice between going to Sunday brunch with you and nursing a hangover on his couch, the latter will occasionally win.

He requires alone time because he doesn't want you to know how often he gets take-aways.

It's not always that he needs personal space. It's that he wants to watch the game and hang out with friends.

He needs a break from conversation.

He feels like being a slob without you complaining that he hasn't showered or washed Friday's dishes.

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Mood Killers
Cherry Scents: Perhaps the smell is reminiscent of cough syrup? Research shows that this aroma is a major turn-off.

Lots Of Booze:
One or two drinks may help you get your swagger on, but alcohol is a depressant, so throwing more than a few back makes you sluggish.

Blue Hues: Light blue can have a relaxing effect, which won't keep you pumped up.

Artificial Sweeteners: Some doctors believe that swigging a diet drink alters brain chemistry and makes you feel down.

Having a Cigarette:
Smelling like an ashtray won't boost your sex appeal.

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Foreplay Comes In Many Forms
Whip Out The Hoover: A study found that men who do more work around the house have more sex. 'Watching your guy pitch in makes you want to get closer to him,' says Dr Linda Miles, author of Friendship on Fire (Xlibris Corporation).

Volunteer: Research shows that seeing each other devote time to a worthy cause deepens your emotional connection, which translates to a hotter sexual one. It's not quite the same as when he's walking around shirtless, but knowing that your man is charitable kind of makes you want to grant him sexual favours, doesn't it?

Take Him On: 'Competition prompts your body to release the same chemicals released during sex,' says Dr Mona Barbera, author of Bring Yourself To Love (Dos Monos Press). Have a cook-off or bet on the weekend's rugby game. A contest can build the kind of tension that can only be let loose in bed.

Babysit: There's something about men holding babies and playing with small children that sends women into a paroxysm of desire. It taps into our primordial need to find a man who is a protector and who will take care of us and our children. Even when babies are waaaay not on your agenda for now, it's sexy stuff indeed.

Be Competent: When he hears you successfully negotiating a deal on the phone he sees a different side of you - one that, while you like being with him, is perfectly capable of managing on her own. Women who are independent, sorted and good at what they do are a big turn-on for (grown up) men.

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Would He Be Good In a Crisis?
When your Friday night plans suddenly change, is he able to go with the flow?

Do you think he's a good listener?

Is he very goal-orientated?

When he suffers a setback in life, does he easily bounce back?

Is his mood pretty constant as opposed to up-and-down?

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
Intruders Who Shouldn't Be In Your Bed do not, shag the following people.

Your man's dad. Silver fox or not, this will only lead to trouble.

That dude you thought you were going to marry when you were 15. Get. Over. It.

Your ex. There's a reason you broke up - now, let him go already.

Your best friend. Bi-curious? This is not the place to experiment.

Your boss. Ja, the power thing is sexy, but mark our words, it will get messy.

Fri, 28 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Contraception Facts
Of the 208 million pregnancies that occurred worldwide in 2008, it's estimated that a massive 41% were unintended.

If you are having sex regularly and don't use contraception you have an 85% chance of being pregnant within one year.

The largest proportion of sexually transmitted infections is thought to occur in people younger than 25 years of age.

36% of teenagers in a recent multi-national survey reported having unprotected sex.

You can get pregnant the first time you have sex; just before or after your period, and if your partner withdraws before ejaculating.

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Stress-Busting Moves That Work
Step up socialising:
Having a tight network of friends is what helps you deal with bad times. Plan some low-key hangouts with a mix of buddies.

Smell the roses:
Treat yourself to a bouquet of flowers or light up a rose-scented candle. The scent helps ease tension in many people.

Have sex - often:
Studies show that getting it on with your guy helps lower cortisol levels and put you in a good mood. Do you need a better excuse?

Eat happy foods:
Snack on foods rich in B vitamins and magnesium, which are believed to calm nerves. A handful of nuts is a good option.

Laugh: Laughing eases tension and lowers the amount of cortisol (stress hormone) your body produces. Find your favourite comedian on YouTube and chuckle away.

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Why Your Room Drives Him Nuts
All the clothes you have shoehorned into your cupboard and drawers: He can't even find a spot to cram a spare pair of boxers.

Your array of scented candles: To guys, 'Midnight Jasmine' smells like tear gas.

Your childhood stuffed animals and dolls: Why? Because they Never. Stop. Staring.

All 108 of your fluffy, decorative pillows.

The black-and-white prints of kids holding hands, kissing, posing with annoyed dogs, etc. You don't even know those little brats.

Wed, 19 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
The Best Bedtime Rituals
Come up with your own goodnight phrase to say to each other, even if it's simply 'Sweet dreams.'

Gently run your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp as he's falling asleep.

Turn off the lights, and debrief each other about how your days went.

Give each other two-minute back or hand rubs.

Simply kiss his cheek before you roll over to go to sleep.

Mon, 17 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
What's Behind Your Sleep Positions
If You Sleep…

…Face-to-Face: You're not only breathing on each other but also creating an enclosed circle with your bodies, which indicates how totally at ease you feel with each other. But, for crying out loud, be conscious of your morning breath.

…Snuggled Up:
It isn't easy to snooze wrapped around another person, so by doing so you're choosing physical closeness over your own comfort - a great sign of emotional intimacy. Bonus: Chances are, the sex isn't half-bad either.

…With Your Backs To Each Other: If it's a recent phenomenon, it may a subconscious indication that you're both pulling away. If it's the norm, you're likely just two independent people who don't need to be attached at the hip to be happy.

…With a Hand or Foot Touching Your Partner:
This is a way to reassure him that your love is still alive and kicking. If it's something you've noticed happening more often, it may mean that you've been caught up in other things so you're reaching out as a way to reconnect.

…In Separate Beds: Your relationship could well be on its way out. Unless there's a good reason (he snores/you're an insomniac) couples who choose to sleep alone often lack the requisite emotional intimacy to make it in the long-term.

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
First Date Questions
If He Asks:
'Why is someone as great as you still single?'
Reply: 'I'm holding out for someone equally great. What about you?' This retort is breezy and confident and shows you're loving single life… until you meet Mr Right.

If He Asks:
'Why did your last relationship end?'
Reply: 'Things were never the same after the reality show ended. With the cameras turned off, we realised we just didn't click.' Cracking a joke will defuse potential awkwardness and keep the vibe positive.

If He Asks: 'Have you ever had your heart broken?'
Reply: 'Yeah, haven't we all?' This conveys that you've moved on. If you haven't had a broken heart, tell him 'I've been hurt in the past, for sure, but I'm lucky that I've never been crushed.'

If He Asks: 'Do you want to get married and have children?'
Reply: 'Eventually. When I meet the right person.' This lets him know you're up for getting serious, but aren't going to settle for just anyone.

If He Asks: 'Are you over your ex?'
Reply: 'It took a while to move on, but the relationship wasn't working anymore.' This way, whatever the reason you broke up (like, if he dumped you) you don't sound angry or bitter, but mature and resolved.

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Making Friends, Made Easier
Be the social coordinator: Throw a party, get a group together to try out a just-opened restaurant, or round people up to go play a pub quiz. Not only will you be the centre of attention, but also, the next time someone has a party, she'll think to include you.

Introduce yourself whenever possible: It might sound obvious, but there are so many chances to meet potential friends that people let slip by. If you're shy, think of how much you'd like it if someone struck up a conversation with you. The other person probably feels the same way.

Deepen your casual connections:
If you have a co-worker, neighbour, or friend-of-a- friend whom you want to know better, invite him or her to a low-key gathering, such as happy hour with a bunch of pals. Hanging out in a different environment (i.e., not the office or your apartment building) helps transition your relationship from acquaintances to the friend realm.

Get out there: Expand your repertoire of hobbies – visit a climbing gym, take salsa lessons or sign up for a writing workshop. It's easier to strike up conversations when you're doing something, and at these places you'll meet people who share some of your interests, the first step towards making new friends.

Be open-minded: If you always go for one 'type' of friend, think outside the box and be a bit adventurous. When you only spend time with people who are very much like you, you're less inclined to be challenged in your thinking and learn something new. You might be surprised at who you actually 'connect' with.

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Signs He's a Total Loser
He has a Facebook album devoted to shirtless pics of himself titled 'Back By Popular Demand'.

He invites you over to his place for a nightcap and his parents answer the front door.

The candles around his place aren't to set the mood… they're for when the Eskom shuts off his lights.

He does the whole 'That time of the month?' comedy routine 365 days a year.

His idea of a nice date involves chicken wings, waitresses in tiny skirts and you footing the bill.

Fri, 07 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Sex Secrets That Should Stay That Way
'You're the third-best lover I've ever had!'

'While we were having sex last night, I came up with this genius solution to a problem at work.'

'Your thrusting makes your tummy jiggle like a bowl of jelly.'

'I fantasise about a Jonas Brothers foursome.'

'Your orgasm face reminds me of my grandpa when he threw his hip out.'

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Is He Hiding Something?
He isn't suffering an unusual amount of stress in his life, yet he constantly seems preoccupied.

When he talks to you, he looks up and to the right before speaking and avoids direct eye contact.

When you ask him a pointed question, he responds with another question.

He gets far more upset about petty annoyances - bad traffic, poor service - than normal.

You find yourself confused by mixed messages he's sending.

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
Never Do This Nude (Part Two)

Doing anything with hay.

Getting into your car, which has leather seats, after it's been sitting in the sun for five hours.

Getting your hair cut (the little bits will itch and drive you mental).

Pruning your hedge. You don't want to find yourself sans a nipple.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Never Do This Nude (Part One)
Trying out Grandma's fried-chicken recipe. Bare skin + hot oil = ouch!

Anything involving superglue.

Talking to your dad on the phone.

Hitting the treadmill - sports bras were invented for a reason.

Ironing your clothes. You want to looking smokin', not get scorched.

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
What Guys Get Wrong About Sex
Foreplay is best when saved for special occasions.

A surprise visit to your backdoor is completely okay if it's an 'accident.'

The carpet next to your bed is an excellent place to drop a used condom.

Anything more than a centimetre strip of pubic hair is unsexy.

You won't react badly if he says, 'You taste weird.'

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Is He Thinking Long-Term?
When he has a problem or dilemma he asks you for advice.

You're around his closest friends enough that they're becoming good friends of yours too.

He's started leaving more than just a toothbrush and a spare pair of boxers at your place.

He's increasingly open about feelings unrelated to you, like work worries or family issues.

You see him making an effort to bond with your friends - long after he's already gotten on their good side.

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Things He Never Wants to Hear You Say (Part Two)
'Remember how I mentioned that I want to re-decorate the flat? I brought home rug swatches!'

'Well… you may have to put a baby inside me.'

'Be honest: Do you ever dream about having sex with other women?'

'My friend just got dumped, and needs to be around people - she's crying non-stop - so she's going to come on our camping trip. Cool?'

'Really quick question: What do you think this rash is?'

<<<Go back to Part One

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Things He Never Wants To Hear You Say (Part One)
'You're having another burger?'

'Care to explain this picture of you and your ex that I found in an envelope in a box that was under your bed?'

'Would I look better as a chocolate or chestnut brunette?'

'Something's been bothering me about our conversation last month, and I feel like we need to talk about it. Do you really believe season three of The Vampire Diaries was the best, or were you just saying that?'

'So I know my sister is pretty, but if you had to rate us on a scale of 1 to 10, who would you rank higher, and what is my score?'

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Times He's Possibly Being Bad
When He's Too Eager To Run an Errand:
Most guys don't jump at the chance to shop for groceries, stop at the chemist or pick up the dry cleaning. So, if he suddenly offers to help out, he may be using it as an excuse to get out of the house - to cheat, to gamble or to do heaven knows what else.

When He's at a Rugby Game:
It sounds innocent, but not always: Sporting events sometimes involve hours of 'warming up', and more beers at a bar afterwards, either to celebrate a win or grieve a tough loss. This could lead to drunk-flirting with the cute girl on the stool next to him.

When He's Reconnecting Online: A man who's glued to his Facebook page may be doing more than getting in touch with old high school friends. Social networking sites provide a sneaky and convenient way to hook up with exes and meet new potential love interests - all password protected.

When He's Trying To Cheer Up a Friend:
If one of his boys gets dumped by his girlfriend or loses his job, your guy might see it as his duty to take him out to a bar and distract him with lots of beautiful women and shots of tequila.

When He's Surprising You With Flowers:
Aaaah, sweet, right? Not always. If your unromantic guy suddenly shows up out of the blue with a bouquet it might well be a sign that he's guilty of committing a dirty deed and is trying to salvage his bad conscience - and make it up to you.

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Instant Stress Busters (Part Two) reaking out? Here's how to calm down quick.

Listen to a favourite song or a track of nature sounds, like rain or waves.

Look at a memento of happy memories. Keep a photograph or a shell from a beach holiday in your office.

Breathe in deeply through your nose, filling your belly with air, and then breathe out through your mouth.

Say no to something you really don't want to do.

Clean out your handbag (or your cupboard, if you're feeling really ambitious).

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Instant Stress Busters (Part One) reaking out? Here's how to calm down quick.

Laugh. Collect a list of funny websites to lighten your mood.

Cry. It's nature's de-stressor.

Cuddle your cat... or dog, or some other non-verbal creature.

Sniff lavender oil. It's known for its calming effects. Keep a vial in your bag.

Eat complex carbs. They enhance serotonin, your body's natural tranquiliser.

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Tips To Help Him Hold Back
Tame His Touches: When his strokes grow faster, remind him to linger by countering with soft caresses, and restrain him from veering onto erogenous zones (like fondling your breasts). For example, place his palm against your cheek, and lay your hand on top of his.

Switch It Up: Should you sense him approaching orgasm before you're ready, change positions. Interruption will cool him down, plus it'll take him time to adjust to the new angle and work up to speed.

Distract His Body: A more drastic measure to bring him back from the brink: Have him pull out, and then squeeze the tip of his penis with medium pressure for 3 to 4 seconds. This will delay his climax and bring his arousal down a bit. Just be sure to warn him in advance.

Distract His Mind:
Sexual arousal and orgasm are largely mental, so try to get him to think about something else for a few seconds. It doesn't have to be the Queen - you could try saying something funny to break the mood and prolong the ecstasy.

Take a Break: If it becomes obvious he's going to come before you want him to, have him pull out and guide his mouth south for a few minutes. It will give him time to cool down a little, and allow you the opportunity to catch up.

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Risks Every Girl Must Take Sex and the City shares her tips.

'Fall in love; really seize it. The guy probably won't be The One. But that's how you learn who you are.'

'Be yourself - especially in a relationship. We still live in a sexist world where women often twist themselves into what they think a man wants in order to have him. Put yourself before pleasing a guy and you're more likely to find the guy who's right.'

'Make a firm plan to move out of your comfort zone. Say, “I'll work this entry-level job for two years and then, no matter what, I'm moving on.”'

'Try everything you find interesting, even if it's quirky or odd. When I was 20, I signed up for a tap-dancing class. It was full of 12-year-olds, but I'd always wanted to learn.'

'Dare to ask, what is my purpose here? You might not be able to answer it, but you'll learn a lot in the process.'

Wed, 08 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
No-Strings Sex Checklist
Hooking Up Is For You If: You like to gamble. To you, uncertainty is exciting. Hooking Up Is Not For You If: You’re happiest in a committed union.

Hooking Up Is For You If: You’re focused on friendships versus romantic unions. Hooking Up Is Not For You If: You tend to be the jealous type.

Hooking Up Is For You If: You just got out of a relationship and want to play the field. Hooking Up Is Not For You If: You usually get attached to people you’re physically intimate with.

Hooking Up Is For You If: You prefer the freedom of being single to the confines of being in a relationship. Hooking Up Is Not For You If: You suspect you might have feelings for the guy in question.

Hooking Up Is For You If: You're pursuing a sexual encounter purely for the physical release. Hooking Up Is Not For You If: You'll be upset if he doesn't call you in the morning.

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Couple Conversation Starters (Part Two)
'What's the longest that you've gone without showering? Be honest!'

'Is there anyone who used to be in your life that you wish you could reconnect with?'

'What's the worst sexual experience you've ever had, and why?'

'What would be your ultimate dream job?'

'If you could take two people with you to a desert island, who would you choose, and why?'

<<<Go Back To Part One

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Couple Conversation Starters (Part One)
'Let's say you won the lottery tomorrow. Would you fly to the Caribbean or do something more charitable?'

'If we hadn't met, what do you think your life would be like right now?'

'What superpower do you wish you had?'

'When you were little, did you pack a bag and try to run away from home? If so, why?'

'If you could relive just one day in your entire life, which one would it be?'

Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Good News Moves
What he does: Hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you close so you form a letter 'T' with his body. What it means: He's proud to show you off and sees you as his prize. Give him a peck on the cheek in return.

What he does: Holds one of your hands and strokes your neck or face post-sex. What it means: He's feeling unconnected, so mirror his touching. And if he caresses your lower back, get ready for another round!

What he does: Rocks his feet from balls to heels when asking something big, like to go on holiday together. What it means: Your guy is ready to get serious. Respond with similar rocking.

What he does: Grabs your feet when you're chilling on the couch and gives you an impromptu massage. What it means: He wants to communicate his love for you. Men aren't big on words, so they show their feelings with actions.

What he does:
Shows affection in public. What it means: He's thinks you're gorgeous, and is proud to have you by his side. Give him a quick hug to show that you feel the same way.

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Bogus Excuses
'I have a big day at work tomorrow and need to rest.' Climaxing actually clears his head and can help him sleep - meaning it allows him not to think about sex as much so he can focus on his work.

'Let's wait until this weekend when we have more time.' Few guys ration sex activity, and even fewer would turn down a quickie. So, if he feigns concern for your sake, he might be dishonest.'

'Sorry, honey - my head is killing me.' An upset stomach? Yes. But unless your guy suffers from debilitating migraines, it's probably what it sounds like; a clichéd opt out.

'But we had sex last night!' Unless he's a pensioner, he's quite capable of performing two nights in a row. If he's accusing you of being sexually demanding, chances are his libido's not quite what it should be. Or, he's losing interest.

'I'd love to, but I'm in a hurry.' Erm... ever heard the term 'quickie'? It's a rare man who will turn down the offer of a quick wham-bam before he rushes out the door. If yours did, chances are something is up.

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Essential Men Facts Sex and the City shares a few essential facts about men.

Soul-Quaking Sex Does Not Equal Soul-Mate Status: 'Great sex with someone may or may not really mean something. But it's a hell of a lot better than bad sex! What it comes down to is that sex is just another form of communication.'

Skip Mr Big: 'That means a guy who will rescue you or who possesses all the qualities you want but don't yet have. Men cannot give you that. You should be developing those qualities yourself.'

Love Isn't Guaranteed:
'Most women think that love is a right, that it's ordained. Guess what? No one has to be in love with you. It's not a given. The only person that needs to love you is you.'

You Will Know He's The One: It's true. You won't be calling your friends saying, "I don't know if he is interested." There won't be drama. He'll be as into it as you are.'

It's Good To Emulate Them:
'I've asked a lot of men about their top priority, and most of time, it's career and achievement. Your life is about the development of your story, what adventures happen to you. That's the romance of life.'

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
The Lowdown On Lipo
Lipo is not a weight-loss procedure, it's for people who are close to their goal weight but want to change their shape.

Lipo is safest when you have less than 5kgs to lose. More than that, and you could encounter a life-threatening complication.

Research your surgeon carefully and make sure s/he has privileges to perform lipo in a hospital.

Ask about his/her use of the anaesthetic Lidocaine, as too much makes the procedure more dangerous.

All medical procedures carry risks. Make sure you know what these are before you sign on the dotted line.

Catch Dr Oz on SABC3, Monday to Thursday at 3.45pm.

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Red-Hot Career Tips Sex and the City.

Make Details Count: 'Just do the job in front of you beyond expectations. One of my first jobs was literally sharpening pencils, and my boss said I was by far the best, so I was noticed.'

Knock Off The Oversharing: 'In the business world, it's not about you. It's much better to ask somebody else questions about themselves. People don't really want to hear about you until you're around 30 and more accomplished.

Research Your World: 'You need to know something beyond whom your friends are dating when you talk to your boss, so gather info about your corporate culture in your spare time.'

Check Your Ego: 'You have to earn other people's respect through hard work.'

Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help: 'I know there's this idea that older women don't want to help younger women, but that isn't true. Flattery always works because everybody wants to be appreciated for their talent. Send a nice e-mail with a compliment, then ask for advice on how your boss got ahead.'

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Tricks That Won't Wow Him
Flossing your teeth while driving.

Trapping, killing, skinning, gutting, and cooking rats that root around your garbage bins, making any man lose an erection in 10 seconds.

Burping both your ABCs and your first introduction to his parents.

Holding your hair in place with nothing but your own saliva.

Taking an entire bath in the sink.

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Sneaky Ways To Nudge Him Along
Use humour:
'You ought to sell your chest of drawers. The ingenious clothes-pile system you have going makes it obsolete.'

Turn criticism into praise: 'You're amazing. I'd love it if you hung out with my friends more so I could show you off.'

Make it in his best interest: 'You should plan that holiday… Fares are going up!'

Flatter him into submission: 'You're sooo handy. I know you could fix that leaking window-pane in less than five minutes.'

Shamelessly lure him with sex: 'I can't wait till you get home from after-work drinks. I'm going to totally devour you!'

Mon, 16 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Going Nuts For a New Man?
Get a Friend's Take: Talk to a trusted pal about how off-the-wall you've been feeling lately, and ask her to step in if she thinks you're acting kookily out of character.

Set Limits: Feel the urge to Facebook stalk or go through his Twitter timeline? Don't. You'll feel stronger when you realise you can overcome your urges.

Create Some Space:
It's hard but worth it - cutting back on time spent with your guy, especially the number of nights you sleep over together, will help you catch your breath and gain perspective and self-control.

Sweat It Out: It may sound simplistic, but physical activity will ease your anxiety. Also, mind/body workouts like tai chi help you focus on the present so you don't obsess about the future.

Seek Help: Still spiralling? Schedule a session - alone or with your guy - to see a psychologist. He or she will help you figure out if your obsession is dangerous and/or masking deeper issues.

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Ways To Freak a Guy Out (Part Two)
Casually say, 'Did I ever tell you that you really remind me of my dad?' … immediately after sex.

After saying goodbye, run after him to ask, 'Seriously, are you going to call me? 'Cause if you're not, just tell me now.'

'Accidentally' bump into his parents (on their stoep, in the faraway city where they live) before he's introduced you.

Replace all the numbers in his cell phone with your own numbers, so that no matter whom he tries to call, he reaches you.

Whenever he's behind a closed door, locked or not, break it down with an axe.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Ways To Freak a Guy Out (Part One)
Solemnly ask if your apartment makes you look fat, then burst into tears.

Convince him to role-play in the bedroom as Brad and Angelina… and start calling him Angelina.

Say 'We need to talk.'

Throw out all his DVDs and replace them with copies of The Wedding Singer, The Wedding Planner, My Best Friend's Wedding, Wedding Crashers, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Interpret his request to spice things up in the sack to mean shaving a biohazard symbol into your pubic hair.

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Things Your Boss Should Never Know
How totally hilarious your drunken karaoke rendition of 'Total Eclipse Of The Heart' is.

You're only going to be working there until you have a baby and/or can be self-employed.

The reason the 'W' on her keyboard doesn't work is because you spilled coffee on it.

You go to the same gym and you accidentally saw her naked in the changing room.

You write an anonymous blog about all the drama at work.

Fri, 06 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Sexy Things To Try
Single? Every week, be brave and chat up a hottie in an unconventional place - like at the petrol station or in the queue at the shop.

Make a three-month promotion plan. Start logging all the accomplishments you've made in the past year, and bump up your enthusiasm and productivity from now until pay-day. Then, set up a time to talk to your boss.

Start your own blog. Why not?

Maybe you'd rather peruse the gossip pages, but one day a week make yourself read an article you wouldn't normally engage with. Some will be boring, but others will spark new areas of interest. You'll be amazed by how much info you'll pick up over a couple months.

Learning new things will keep you sharp. Look into foreign-language or cooking classes in your area.

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Boob Job Facts
Breast implants are placed either in front of or behind the pectoral muscles, depending on whether you want natural or porn-star-looking boobs.

The newest technique, which cuts through the muscle, allows the implant to hang very naturally but also makes it difficult for women to flex their pectoral muscles.

All implants carry a risk of breakage and leakage.

Breast augmentation distorts X-ray mammograms so you'll need a yearly MRI to check for breast cancer.

Implants don't last forever, so this is not a once-off expense. You will have to have them replaced every 10 years, so make sure you can afford it.

Catch Dr Oz on SABC3, Monday to Thursday at 3.45pm.

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
Condom Come-Ons
'I love how uninitiated I feel in bed when I know we're being safe. Rowr!'

'Whoa! You're big to begin with, but that thing makes you look huge!'

'How awesome is it that with these, we can go all night?!'

'I love it when you taste like strawberries!'

'Whoopee, a studded one! Ride me, cowboy!'

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Surprising Romance Wreckers
Co-habiting: You'd think that moving in together would make you a tighter couple. But, since you no longer have to put any effort into getting together, you can easily become lazy and start taking each other for granted.

A Too-Busy Social Schedule: It's great to get out of the house and see friends. After all, you don't want to become totally dependent on each other. But if all your downtime includes being with other people, you aren't building in important time to chill - and bond - as a twosome.

Criticising - Even Mildy: The better you know someone, the more you notice their flaws... and the more comfortable you feel pointing them out. Since nit-picking creates distance, try to make a concerted effort to stay positive, and be sure to compliment your guy when he does something that you appreciate.

A Desert in the Bedroom: The weird thing about sex is that the more you do it, the more you want to. All couples go through a dry patch now and again, but it's not good for your relationship. Even if you'd rather eat Nik Naks and watch Idols, force yourself to jump his bones. You'll be glad you did.

Killing the Mystery: We know you're real and everything, but farting loudly and cutting your toenails in his company just isn't sexy. He might be your best friend, but he's not your brother. Of course you should relax in your own home, but reserving some things for when he's not around will go a long way towards keeping the spark alive.

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Happy-Couple Habits
Have a Bedtime Ritual: On those no-sex nights, couples tend to just roll over and go to sleep. But that can put a wall between you. Come up with a gesture that says 'I want you even if we aren't going to get it on.' It can be snuggling or holding hands as you drift off - any display of affection that works for the two of you.

Lock Lips Hello And Goodbye: A quick peck on the lips or, worse, the cheek, is more friendly than loving. Instead, plant a full-on passionate kiss on him when you're coming and going. It'll leave both of you with lusty feelings for each other.

Get Out Of The House: It's easy to fall into the habit of just chowing down together in front of the TV. Set up a night to have weekly meal out. You can revisit your favourite restaurant or try a new place each time. Meet right after work so there's no chance of sinking into the couch once home.

E-mail Interesting Stuff: Send at least one random news story or funny YouTube clip to your partner daily. It not only shows that you're tapped in to what the other likes, but it also gives you something to talk about when you see each other.

Show Affection: If you're having dinner with a group of friends and you get up to go to the loo, give his shoulder a squeeze as you walk past. Small touches when you're out in public solidify your bond and remind him that, even if you're bonding like crazy with your besties, he's your number one.

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
In a Romance Rut?
You can't remember the last time either of you surprised each other.

You don't check in beforehand when making social plans for the two of you.

Sex has gotten so routine you're basically on auto-pilot.

You think you need other people around to have fun.

You don't mind having less sex because you're closer on an emotional level.

Fri, 22 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Is Your Skin Sensitive?
You flush more than others do after consuming alcohol, a hot beverage or eating spicy foods.

Spritzing on certain perfumes or wearing jewellery made of nickel triggers a rash in the spots where they touched your skin.

Your hair shade is naturally blonde or red and your complexion is fair or dotted with freckles.

Exposure to the sun, cold, heat, humidity, or wind aggravates your skin which might sting, itch, or feel tight for up to several days.

Rough fabrics (wool, linen) feel uncomfortable against your skin and can make it itchy and inflamed for up to a few days post-contact.

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Make Him Reveal How He Feels
Don't Ask This: 'Are you even listening to me?' Instead, Say This: 'Let's see you do an impression of me.' What You'll Learn: Good imitators are good observers. So if he mimics you well, he pays attention to you.

Don't Ask This: 'Do you love me?' Instead, Say This: 'Mind if I drive your car?' What You'll Learn: The more he cares, the more he'll share the things he loves - from wheels to family.

Don't Ask This:
'Do you think that girl is pretty?' Instead, Say This: 'Oh my word, is that Scarlett Johansson?' What You'll Learn: If he was checking her out, he'll unwittingly reveal what he thinks: 'Not with that ass!'

Don't Ask This: 'Where do you see this going in the long term?' Instead, Say This: 'What would you do if you won R100 million?' What You'll Learn: He'll naturally think of people he'd spend the money on or with. Are you on his list?

Don't Ask This: 'Would you ever cheat on me?' Instead, Say This: 'What do you think of guys who cheat?' What You'll Learn: Whether or not he's going to be faithful to you down the line.

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Warning Signs
Red Face: Many people will flush, and tighten their lips when they are furious.

Flashing Eyes: You can sometimes see rage or hostility in the eyes. Some men also narrow them, Clint Eastwood-style.

Clenched Fists: Males often make fists instinctively, not even realising they're doing it.

Voice Fluctuations: While most guys shout when angry, some lower their voices in a controlled way.

Stiff Body: Men whose anger is rising tend to pull themselves up and hold their bodies rigidly.

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
You're Not Over It If...
He's Pissing You Off More Than Normal: Find yourself getting angry at him for insignificant things? You're still looking to exact punishment.

You're Not In The Mood: If your previously hot libido has cooled down, you might be missing that mind/body connection that women tend to need to feel horny.

You're Tired All The Time: Anger and hurt can suck up a lot of your energy, even if you're not in touch with the emotions.

You Stalk Him: A bit of curiosity is normal, but if you're fixated on his social/love life you're still too invested.

You're Drinking More than Usual: Alcohol numbs the senses and dulls the pain of parting. But, if this excess continues, you'd be better off speaking to a professional who can help you deal with your feelings of loss.

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Five Tips To Get a Man To Listen
Use fewer words.

Don't become emotional.

Get to the point quickly.

Don't exaggerate.

Stick to the subject at hand.

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Hangover Survival Tips
Don't eat greasy or fatty foods, as these can slow down the metabolism of alcohol.

Do drink water to help ward off your hangover nausea.

Limit coffee - it has a diuretic effect. Instead try antioxidant-rich tea and follow with a glass of water.

Do eat light, nutritious food.

Do indulge in the carbs you're craving - your body needs the energy to repair itself.

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Five Ways To Get Him Into Bed (Part Two)
'A recent study round that if you go from having sex once a month to once a week it will make you as happy as getting a R500 000 raise.'

'I can't wait to get out of these sweaty gym clothes and take a shower.'

'The party's winding down already? I still have loads of energy!'

'I don't suppose you would ever want to try role-playing?'

'Did you know that if your ring finger is longer than your index finger it means you have a high sex drive?'

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Five Ways To Get Him Into Bed (Part One)
'According to my horoscope, I'm about to enter an experimental phrase.'

'My inner thighs and bum are so sore from yoga.'

'It's so weird, but I still have tan lines from last summer.'

'I was at the lingerie shop today with my best friend when…'

'My sister and I are having a debate. Maybe you can help settle it. What's hotter: a landing strip or completely bare?'

>>> Go To Part Two

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Erase Your Dating Mistakes
Apologise ASAP. Own up to your gaffe by saying 'l was so nervous/temporarily brain-dead, l ended up doing something out of character.' Your confession shows that you recognise your doff behaviour. Plus, you may even evoke a little empathy.

Make it up to him by showing your true colours. For example, if you barked his ear off the night before with a long list of personal problems, spend the next couple of dates subtly encouraging him to do most of the talking. Once he sees that you're not a chronic complainer or babbler, he'll realise your faux pas was a one-time occurrence.

Play it cool. Wait a week, then assess where you stand: If your union is back on track, thumbs up. But if he seems iffy about hanging out or won't let your stuff-up go the next few times you talk, you might have to concede defeat and move on.

Don't do it again. He might forgive you your hissy fit once, but twice and you're pushing your luck. Just because he's willing to move on doesn't mean he'll accept a girlfriend who flies off the handle at the slightest provocation.

Make a joke of it. Endlessly referring to the incident will make things awkward for both of you. As much as you crave reassurance, force yourself to make light of it, and don't bring it up again.

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
No-Go Nooky Zones
Your Flatmate's Bedroom: Aside from the fact that it's just plain wrong and disrespectful, you do not want this kinky karma coming right back at you (read: you sleeping in her wet spot next time).

The Toilet: The porcelain throne may be a convenient height for seated booty, but we have one word for you: bacteria. The average toilet has 49 germs per square inch.

Your Walk-In Cupboard: Oh yes, this spot will make you moan - but it'll be in pain! The average wardrobe railing is not designed to hold 140kgs - the average weight of two people.

The Car: It might seem like your own private love cocoon, but don't forget you're parked in a public place - and cars have lots of windows.

The Beach: Hmmm... all that sun, sand and semi-nakedness... not to mention parents with young children who are also looking for a quiet spot the behind the dunes.

Wed, 30 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Odd Weiner Wisdom
The typical young man spends up to 40 percent of his sleeping hours with an erection. It's not all dirty dreams though; it's his body's way of keeping his ding-dong healthy.

The protein in a single ejaculation is roughly equal to a similar-size portion of pork chop. Great, it's Atkins-friendly!

Most guys last three to five minutes when stimulated continuously. But with proper ejaculatory control (like changing tempo), they can last as long 40 minutes.

The average length of a flaccid penis is 8.9 centimetres, and for an erect penis, it's 13 centimetres. The average girth of an erect penis is 12.7 centimetres.

In India, some Hindu ascetics hang weights from their willies to stretch them to more than a foot in length.

Mon, 28 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Bedroom Buzzkills
Kissing him so deeply he almost chokes.

Pouring chocolate sauce all over his body - the kind that quickly hardens like a shell.

Every hour you're apart, SMSing him, 'Do you love me?'

Playing rough with his boys.

Overgrown lady topiary. Neat and trimmed is just sexier.

Fri, 25 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Update Your Winter Wardrobe (Part Two)
Organise a party with friends where you can swap clothes - your trash could be the next person’s treasure.

Try on everything in your wardrobe. If something doesn’t fit anymore, bag it up and donate it to charity.

Tailor your clothes: alter long dresses that might work as minis or long tops.

The best way to update a look is with great accessories: a bold necklace, a silk scarf, an oversized ring or a fringed handbag.

Have shoes re-soled to make them last, and invest in riding boots or a tough-looking heel this winter.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 23 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Update Your Winter Wardrobe (Part One)
Never throw out anything black. It won't go out of fashion.

Add these three details of an instant update to your wardrobe: something sparkly, some lace detail and faux fur.

Add rips and slashes to old jeans instead of paying for a new 'pre-worn' pair.

If you don't have the cash for a new coat, update an old one with new buttons, or try adding a statement belt.

Be ruthless. If you won't feel amazing wearing a piece of clothing to work, on a date or to a party - ditch it.

Mon, 21 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Peep Show
Trace thin lines (so as not to weigh down lids) of black liner along the lashes, flicking out the top line.

To contour and add depth, sweep a dark shade along the creases.

Rub a shimmery beige shadow close to your lashes, then into the inner corners and below the brow bone for dimension.

Use a nude liner on the rim of the lower lashes to reflect the whites of the eyes and enlarge them.

Curl your lashes, then apply mascara.

Fri, 18 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Your Five-Point Happy Plan
Catch It From Your Friends:
Every happy person you spend time with boosts your own joy metre by 15%, say researchers. So catch up with a fun friend.

Buy Yourself a Bouquet: Research has found that having flowers at home lifts your morning mood, and seeing them in the kitchen gives the biggest feel-good buzz.

Take Notes: Write down three things that go well for you each day - and do it every day for a week. This should boost your happiness for the next six months.

Turn Off The TV:
People who spend hours in front of the box are less happy than occasional viewers. Swap the TV for a comedy night - new experiences will flood your brain with happy hormones.

Smile: Even if you don't feel particularly joyful, when you smile your brain registers your happy expression, which, in turn, improves your mood. Weird, but true - try it!

Wed, 16 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Shopping With a Hot Friend
Celebrate your own beauty. Part of feeling beautiful is learning to appreciate your amazing features.

Don't try on the same stuff. If you have different body shapes, wear what feels good for you. Don't force yourself into something just because she thinks it's great.

You're not in competition with anyone but yourself. The sooner you realise that, the less you'll be inclined to compare yourself to others, and the more positive view you'll have of yourself.

You're not alone. We all look in the mirror and see something about our bodies we don't like at times. So while you want her awesome figure, she may want your great skin or boobs.

Focus on the friendship. The whole point of going shopping with your friend is to have fun, not feel bad about your body.

Mon, 14 May 2012 12:00 +0200
It Never Rains, It Pours
Try to trace the main problem in your heap of troubles. Repair it first - the rest will follow.

Indulge yourself, if only in a cheesy rom-com, a facial or a night out. Moan to friends. Best friends will stick with you, confident that you'll be there for them on bad days too.

Never be shy about seeking expert help - physical, financial or psychological - if the major problem is too big to handle alone.

Stay positive and try to keep things in perspective. Think of the good in your life and try to use the bad times as a 'learning curve'.

Remember it can be amazing when lots of good things happen at once too. Enjoy it all with a whole heart while it lasts and share whatever you can with the people you love.

Fri, 11 May 2012 12:00 +0200
SMS's To Get Him Excited
'I'm running errands and not wearing undies. ;-)' - This surprises him with a sexy mental picture.

'Let's spend all day… and all night… in bed.' - He'll love knowing he's going to get some action.

'Saturday was hot. Can't wait to see you again.' - This will make him feel needed, which every guy likes.

'I'm in town buying stuff for your seduction meal...' - This will let him know that you care about him enough to cook for him. And that he'll be getting you for dessert...

'Hey there, big boy.' - Sounds silly, but all men want to be told they're on the large side. Even if he knows it's tongue-in-cheek, he'll love hearing it.

Wed, 09 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Your Guy's Sensual Limits .

Just Right: A few tea-light candles to set the mood. Too Much: So many rose-scented candles you attract bees.

Just Right: Extra-soft sheets on your bed. Too Much: Dozens of throw pillows on every surface.

Just Right: Soft music playing in the background. Too Much: When Enya becomes the non-stop soundtrack to your life.

Just Right: A nice massage that eventually leads to sex. Too Much: An hour-long rubdown that stops only when you start snoring.

Just Right: A languorous soak in a scented bath. Too Much: Emerging so wrinkled you'd both get pensioner's discounts at the movies.

Mon, 07 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Signs You Need To Go To Dating Rehab
Before the appetiser gets to the table during a first date, you ask him how many kids he wants.

Even if a guy seems great, you refuse to go out a second time if his moon isn’t ascendant in Scorpio.

To show him what a great sense of humour you have you poke fun at his driving, his car, his hair, his jeans, and his entrée selection.

You introduce yourself to men by licking your finger, touching it to your bum and making a hissing sound.

You always hold the door for your date whenever you walk into or out of a building. After all, it’s only polite.

Fri, 04 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Is There a Layoff In Your Future? You're Losing Money
Whether it's your department or the company as a whole, if profits aren’t being generated, bosses will trim the fat.

Management Changed
Newly installed decision-makers like to shake things up and bring in their own people.

Your Workload Shrunk
Businesses try to maintain the smallest (read: cheapest) workforce they can, so if you suddenly find yourself with time on your hands, your job is quite likely being phased out.

You're Less Popular
Higher-ups will stop complimenting your work to better justify letting you go… and co-workers will avoid you if they see writing on the wall.

You See Ads For Your Job
Um… not a good sign.

Wed, 02 May 2012 12:00 +0200
Get That Dude On a Leash
His nickname includes the words Playa, Dogg, or Pimp Daddy.

When your three girlfriends come over, he corrals you all into a huddle, grins, and says, ‘I’m really loving this boob-to-boy ratio.’

Instead of holding hands when you walk together, he prefers to cup your butt cheek.

You have no idea what his unit looks like when it’s hard.

When you browse his home ‘entertainment’ collection, you notice more porn than CDs.

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Clues He’s Checking Out Other Girls (Part Two)
His screen name is LadiesMan69.
He swears he has always been an avid fan of women’s beach volleyball - despite being unable to explain any of the rules.
There’s no queue at the bar, but it takes him 20 minutes to bring you a beer because he keeps circling the room, ‘trying to remember’ where you sat.
He’s still cross that those novelty X-ray specs he ordered when he was eight weren't real.
He says ‘l think l went to school with her!’ so often that you conclude he either went to an all-blonde high school or is developing neurological problems.

<<< Check out Clues He's Checking Out Other Girls (Part One)

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Clues He’s Checking Out Other Girls (Part One)
Although he claims to be interested in astronomy, the telescope on his balcony is mounted to point directly at the block of flats across the street.
Every time a cute girl walks by the two of you, he takes your hand and says, ‘I just love how trusting you are.’
When he spies an Angelina Jolie lookalike in a rain-soaked t-shirt, he gets a migraine and has to put on sunglasses.
You catch him surfing a dating site and he explains he has to check it out as research for work. P.S. He's an architect.
He vanishes for two days every time Victoria’s Secret sends out a new catalogue.

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Put Your Mouth Here
You'll make the hair on the nape of his neck stand up if you playfully kiss his ear-lobes. Then trace the outline of his ear with the tip of your tongue - bonus points if you whisper all the naughty things you have in store for him.

Take his pointer finger into your mouth, and suck on it in the same way that you would suck on his member, moving your mouth up and down the entire length in slow, even motions. Then watch his eyes roll back in his head.

A guy’s pecs can be as sensitive as your breasts are, but they’re too often ignored.
Send chills through his bod by licking around the areolae, gently blowing them dry, and sucking his nipples.

Instead of going straight for the moan zone, start from his chest and move down towards his tummy, covering his belly in soft, gentle kisses. As you move towards his pubic area, linger and let anticipation build before taking him in your mouth.

Backs of his knees
Have him lie on his stomach and plant kisses up his calves. When you get to the back of his knees, stop. Kiss and caress this sensitive area with your tongue before moving all the way up his back.

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Flushed Cheeks
Pick a shade that mimics the colour of blood under the skin - somewhere between warm pink and dark red.
A cream, gel or stain will blend in with your skin’s texture and look natural.
Establish where you blush; that’s where you should apply blusher.
Rub the colour on in circular motions, starting in the centre and blending outwards.
Less is always more - you want to look like you're been out for a brisk walk, not like you're going into battle.

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Snack Attack
Instead Of This: A packet of peanut-butter biscuits
Eat This: Celery sticks with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter

Instead Of This: Chips and dip
Eat This: Bell pepper strips with ¼ cup of hummus

Instead Of This: A handful of jelly beans
Eat This: 15 almonds or cashews

Instead Of This: A small bag of cheese puffs
Eat This: One low-fat mozzarella cheese stick

Instead Of This: A bag of pretzels
Eat This: Two slices of turkey wrapped in lettuce (with a little mayo)
Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Signs You Need Action (Part Two)
Try as you may, you just can't remember why you dumped any of your exes.

The flat is dusted, you've paid your bills and you're finding time to volunteer.

In your swimming costume, you notice your bikini line scarily resembles Newlands Forest.

Just moments ago, you agreed to let your gran hook you up with some guy she met on her Be a Better Christian retreat.

Your box of condoms has not only expired, but the brand has gone out of business.

<<< Go Back To Part One

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Signs You Need Action (Part One)
If your postman were even moderately less obese and didn't have all that hair on his hands, you'd be all over him.

You seriously consider meeting the MENSA guy who keeps mailing you for a date.

You give Frikkie from accounts come-hither looks when he walks by your desk.

In the supermarket you find yourself lingering near the cucumbers.

You're developing carpal tunnel syndrome, and it ain't from typing.

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Tantric Turn-Ons
Jack Up The Heat:
You're going to be naked for a while, and you definitely don't want to be chilly. So before you launch your night of lust, turn the heater onto a low setting so the room stays a comfortable temperature.

Breathe Deeply:
As the amorous action progresses, face your guy and take deep, relaxing breaths in tandem with his. This will make you two more attuned to each other's body rhythms.

Practice Eye-Rousal:
Gaze into each other's peepers for at least a minute. It may feel awkward, but optical exercise makes sex a deeper, more divine experience.

Clear Your Head:
You don't want to be distracted, mid-session, with annoying thoughts of your to-do list. Beforehand, say to yourself: 'I will worry about these things in the morning. Right now, they don't matter.'

Slowly Does It:
When the lust starts building, it's tempting to make a sprint for the finish line. Don't kiss for a long time, and guide his hands away from your hotspots so that he focuses on more neutral areas (thighs, tummy, arms), and do the same to him. This prolongs the fun, and awakens every nerve in your bodies.

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
What Every Cosmo Girl's Got To Know How To Do
Throw a Fab Get-Together: A pro party trick: Serve simple but chic snacks, like pitas and hummus, on one side of the room. Set up drinks on the other side to maximise mingling. Offer wine, beer, and one signature cocktail in a pitcher.

Cook a Steak He'll Love:
Making this man-approved meal is easy. Buy a sirloin or rib-eye cut of steak from a butcher. Instead of adding sauce, sprinkle the meat with salt and pepper before putting it in a pre-heated oven to maximise the beef's flavour. Cook it on the grill setting (around three to four minutes on each side) to keep the meat tender and juicy. The result: a guy-friendly meal with four-star restaurant quality.

Make Your Bedroom a Sanctuary: Banish stressors such as textbooks, work papers, and to-do lists and stick to ultra-calming, cool hues, like pale greens and blues. For an even more relaxing vibe, opt for soft lighting or put a dimmer on your overhead light. Voilá! Paradise.

Score Cool Flea-Market Finds:
Flip through fashion and home-decorating magazines first to create your own personal 'style file,' suggest Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte, authors of Style Statement (Little, Brown and Company). Then, look for similar items with a unique twist at second-hand spots to create a wardrobe and décor that are totally funky and original.

Crash Clean Your Pad for Surprise Guests:
Stash clutter in hidden spots (dirty dishes in the oven, clothes in a washing basket in the cupboard). Then, focus on the room where your guests will be spending the most time: Wipe down the surfaces, dim the lights, and add a few candles for ambience.

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Will Your Love Last?
You have a similar outlook on life. You don't have to have the exact same philosophy on things like money and ethics, but they should be close.

The longer you're a couple, the more you should want to spend time together. Craving space spells trouble.

You're well-matched when it comes to emotional sensitivity and libido.

It's easy to talk about your future together. Avoiding the topic is a relationship 'red flag'.

You know how to communicate. If you can't talk to one another, you won't be able to work through conflict when it arises.

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Just After His Body
You find it much easier to pay attention to him when he has his shirt off.

His number is programmed into your phone under 'Yummy'.

When he tries to talk about getting serious, you say, 'Actually, let's just make out.'

You have no idea what he does for a living, but can describe every muscle on his body in perfect detail.

Forget dinner and a movie - all you need for a date with him is a sturdy bed.

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
What He Says, What He Means (Part Two)
He Says: 'I guess you could say that I was kind of being a jerk to you at dinner the other night.' He Means: I'm sorry.'

He Says: 'I want to hang with the guys tonight. Do you mind?' He Means: 'I want to drink tons of beer, stare at boobs, and burp loudly. Do you mind?'

He Says: 'Does it matter if I don't get to the party right on time?' He Means: 'Chances are I won't make an appearance until right at the end.'

He Says: 'You probably have a boyfriend, right?' He Means: 'You're way too hot to ever want to date me.'

He Says: 'I haven't been in too many long relationships.' He Means: 'Chances are good that I'm going to dump you after a couple of months.'

<<<Go Back To Part One

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
What He Says, What He Means (Part One)
He Says: 'Let's stay in and watch a movie.' He Means: 'I don't feel like spending a bunch of money. Let's just have sex.'

He Says: 'Ja, I'll clean up my stuff.' He Means: 'Okay, I'll kick my crap under the bed and into the corners.'

He Says: 'It's not you… it's me.' He Means: 'It's not me… it's you.'

He Says: 'I don't want to do the whole couple thing.' He Means: 'I'm more into the sex than you as a person.'

He Says: 'I need some time out.' He Means: 'I'm not sure if I'm all that interested in you anymore.'

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Dude Decor
Bowl Of Nuts:
There's something highly erotic about a woman popping a handful of the salty snack into her mouth. Can you say 'subliminal message'?

Lingerie Catalogue:
You can bet a woman who purchases her panties after browsing through a lingerie supplement isn't sporting a pair of grannies.

Magnetic Bottle Opener:
When a guy spies this tell-tale tool stuck to the fridge, he thinks, 'This is a girl who will hang with the boys… and can throw back a few draughts with the best of them!'

Boy Food: If you keep a couple of cold beers, biltong and potato chips handy, there'll be no reason for him to rush out to meet the boys if there's a game on.

Shower Power: Want him to stay the night? Make sure a bottle of butch, shower gel-for-boys just happens to be there in the bathroom.

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Crazy Guy Rules
The Five-Second Rule:
'If you drop a piece of food on the floor, it's edible if you pick it up within five seconds.' - Jason*, 22

One-Night-Stand Rule: 'Afterwards, I have to tell three friends about it within 24 hours. Otherwise, I'd be doomed to have bad sex forever.' - Samson*, 25

Bathroom Rule: 'If it's not a number two, flushing is optional.' - Will*, 30

Inside-Out Rule: 'Turn your dirty undies inside out and they're clean.' - Frank*, 34

Sloppy-Second Rule: 'If a buddy gives his girlfriend the boot, you can go out with her the next weekend. She's fair game after 48 hours.' - Michael*, 22

*Names have been changed

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Things You Only Learn With Time
How Loyal He'll Be: Wait and see if you're shown the same allegiance as his friends are.

If He's a Man of His Word: Will he really keep those promises he made to you early on?

His Little Quirks: Time reveals the small details that really make a person tick.

If His Parents' Split Haunts Him: His broken home may have issued him some big-time emotional baggage.

Whether He's Really a Studmuffin: Three times a day might just morph into once a week... at the most.

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Need a Hit Of Happiness?
The sight of a kissy-feely couple makes you physically ill.

The only time you're in touch with Mother Nature is when you're walking to your car.

When a co-worker asks, 'Is somebody having a bad day?' you actually growl.

Your boyfriend gave you a new tracksuit for your birthday.

You blow off your girlfriends because you're too busy… doing a whole lot of nothing.

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Colour Therapy
Red increases your heart rate and excites sexual glands, so you'll get giddy… and maybe a little horny.

If a lack of motivation is dragging you down, orange will come to your aid. It's the Energiser Bunny of brights.

Let the sunshine in! Soaking up a sunny shade of yellow can relieve depression and improve your memory so that you can reminisce about all the good times you've had.

Mint green is seriously soothing. Read: You'll be too relaxed to dwell on life's downers.

Raging bull? Blue brings tranquillity and calms strong emotions like anger and aggression. It also helps to alleviate stress.

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Lame Excuses You Should Never Fall For (Part 2)
'But don't you see? My underwear and sweaty socks are protecting the floors from scratches.'

'About tonight...  l was going to take you someplace nice, but l thought you'd dig the low-key vibe of King Pie.'

'We can't go on together… with suspicious minds.'

'I know this sounds crazy, but I'm allergic to your third cousin. I guess I have to skip her co-ed bridal shower.'

'Oh, that was just my ex calling to say how glad she is that I've found someone who makes me so happy.'

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Lame Excuses You Should Never Fall For (Part 1)
'Dinner at your mom and dad's? Okay, but what will I tell the orphans? They'll still be expecting story hour.'

'I swear that wasn't a fart. It's just the way this damn leather chair sounds whenever I sit down.'

'I was looking at her because I was thinking how much prettier you are!'

'It was terrible! The aliens, they… they said they wanted to observe human males at leisure, and made me stay out until 4am drinking with the guys!'

'I'd love to help out, but I can't... I once killed a man in a laundry accident.'

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
Love Potions
Foxy Florals: Research shows that floral scents can help men remember things positively.

Erotic Elixirs: Warm notes like patchouli and jasmine are aphrodisiacs.

Flirty Fruits: Citrus scents are energising and can make you both feel giddy. Also, apple can make people feel happy.

Seductive Sweets: Fresh-baked scents like vanilla, sugar, and chocolate can evoke soothing memories and put him in the mood for canoodling.

Musky Mists: As the scent animals release to attract a mate, it makes sense that this scent is sex incarnate. Want him to feel lusty? Spray away.

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
How To Get Your Stuff
Assess Your Assets: Split your shared belongings in half based on their value.

Reason With Him:
If you can't agree, determine who will get the most use from something, or who's more emotionally attached to it.

Still butting heads? Do a tit for tat, ie., 'I'll give you this if you give me that.'

Bring a Bud as a Buffer:
Having a third wheel around will (a) give you moral support and (b) prevent you and your ex from rehashing your relationship issues… for the zillionth time.

Don't Be Petty:
Yes, the Bart Simpson cutlery was a gift to you both, but do you really see it alongside all your gorgeous Carol Boyes? Let the fool have the spoons.

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
How To Look Tough
Hold a pen and, ever so subtly, point it toward the person you're speaking to. This move is a slightly aggressive way of firmly establishing the upper hand.

Maintain eye contact for three to five seconds at a time, no matter who is speaking. Keeping your eyes fixed on your foe will demonstrate that you mean business.

Stand with your feet 18 centimetres apart, your toes turned out slightly. You'll appear larger and more powerful.

Step five centimetres into the other person's personal space. This is a symbolic attack and will throw them off balance, giving you an edge.

If you're about to have a meeting in your office, raise your chair by a few centimetres so that you look down slightly on the other person. This creates the unconscious perception that you have more authority than they do.

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
How To Talk To Your Gynae
Come prepared. Write down your questions and concerns the night before your appointment, listing the most important questions at the top.

Don't be afraid to ask embarrassing questions - believe us, she has heard it all before.

Schedule a follow-up appointment. If you didn't get all of your questions answered, ask if you can call or send an e-mail.

Take notes. Jotting down a few key points will help jog your memory later.

Ditch a doctor you don't like. Make sure you feel comfortable with your doctor and that you're getting enough attention. If you're not, feel free to look for a new one.

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
His Surprising Stress Triggers
Planning a Romantic Evening: Lighting candles or booking a hotel room for the night is sweet and all, but some guys wind up feeling a lot of pressure for it to be special, which can have a stress-inducing effect on them.

Taking a Class Together: If there's any chance your guy will wind up feeling inept (couple sushi-making lessons, anyone?), he may dread the activity instead of looking forward to it.

Winning Your Parents' Approval: He probably acts all debonair about it, but getting that thumbs-up from your parents is a biggie for him - especially your dad. Deep down, he's pretty concerned about whether they actually like him.

Hanging Out With Your Friends:
It can be intimidating to be around a big group of women who are tight because he may worry that they're collectively sizing him up.

Pushing For Sex:
Most of the time, erotic action will heal all of his woes. lf he's really stressed out, though, it'll be tough for him to get in the mood. And the harder you try, the worse he'll feel about not being up for it.

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Mom-Taming Tricks
Beg for her secret roast chicken recipe. Cook it at the next dinner party you throw, and tell her how everyone raved.

Give her props ('Mom is the best tennis player I know') in front of your friends… or hers.

When you're sick, ask her for help. It's a win-win situation: She gets to play Doctor- Mommy, and her remedy (sipping chamomile tea in bed) is probably better for you than yours is (going out zonked on cold meds).

Seek her advice on topics she's savvy about, like investing money or the perfect paint colours for your bathroom. (Hint: if she tends to go on and on, do it via e-mail.)

Once in a while, give her something - a small gift, a newspaper comic strip that she'd find funny, or doubles of your holiday photos - just because. It's a small gesture that will make her feel more connected to you.

Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Moving in Mistakes (Part Two)
Clean when he's not around. If he doesn't see you pick up, he'll assume little elves did it and never thank you or try it himself.

Walk into the home office he's finally set up and announce, 'This could be the baby's room!'

Invite your girls and gays over for book club the same night your guy's hosting poker night.

Mark everything from your coffee mugs to your bedside table with your initials. You know, 'just in case.'

Instead of helping him unpack the boxes, stand back and admire the moving men's biceps. And then giggle a lot.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Moving In Mistakes (Part One)
Take it upon yourself to decorate his X-Box in a floral pattern.

Accept his offer to cook brunch res-style: microwaved bacon, beer and chips rescued from the couch cushions.

Introduce your guy to all your attractive male friends as your 'roommate'.

Allow him to use your fancy, pricey bath products. Once he experiences the difference between soap-on-a-rope and organic algae purifying body butter, he will get addicted… and never be the same.

Figure that if you're close enough to co-habit, you're close enough to do a number two with the bathroom door open.

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Make Choc-Dipped Strawberries
Pour two cups of water into a pot, and find a heat-proof bowl that can sit on top of it without touching the water (this creates a makeshift bain-marie).

Add 170 grams dark chocolate, chopped. Once melted, add three tablespoons heavy cream, two tablespoons butter, and one teaspoon vanilla, then whisk.

Once your chocolate mixture is all blended, dip 10 large long-stemmed strawberries into the bowl one at a time, then twirl to shake off excess chocolate.

Set on a waxed paper-covered baking sheet, and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes to set.

For added yumminess, roll your strawberry in crushed Oreos, nuts, or coconut five seconds after you've dipped it.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Five Ways To Pamper Yourself
Have Dessert... For Dinner: This Friday, make up for being so damn good by hitting your local patisserie. Go with your guy to a cute, sweet-stuff-only bakery or restaurant. And don't feel guilty for a second.

Be Indulgent: Extreme temperatures do a number on your skin and, as we know, this summer has been searing. Saturday afternoon, get soft again by treating yourself to the lotion version of your favourite perfume.

Catch a Chick Flick: Look out for the latest girlie movie or laugh-until-you-cry film to give you a boost. Ditch your guy for a few hours, grab some girlfriends, and head to the movies for shameless giggling.

Make Your Bed a Lazy Lair: Sleeping in with your guy on Sunday morning is total bliss. Wear jarmies that are comfy as well as sexy (think: little flannel shorts and a cute little vest), and take full credit for his, erm, alertness.

Dive Into a Juicy Read: Sunday evening, instead of picking up that heavy, feels-like-homework tome, get sucked into something more fluffy and fun. Why not?

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Craving Control The Fat Smash Diet (St. Martin's Griffin), and Susan Hayden. 'So have a small portion, and then fill up on something healthy.'

Craving: Sweets
Indulge In: A silver of chocolate cake or a few pieces of your favourite sweets. Then Have: Some grapes, pineapple chunks or cherries until you feel full (they're higher in sugar than other fruits). Or opt for a serving of low-fat pudding.

Craving: Salty And Crunchy
Indulge In: Half a small bag of 'real' potato chips (not baked). Then Have: A serving of salted almonds (about 12).

Craving: Fast Food
Indulge In: A small bag of French fries. Then Have: A side salad with a little low-fat dressing.

Craving: Ice Cream
Indulge In: A small tub of the real McCoy. Then Have: A medium tub of sorbet.

Craving: Pizza
Indulge In: Two slices with your favourite topping. Then Have: Two slices without mozzarella, but heaped with veggies and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese.

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Pillow Talk No-Nos
Asking, 'How was it?' right after you've finished bonking.

Yelling out clichés like, 'Give it to me, big boy!'

Noting anything non-sexy, like the paint chipping on the ceiling over your bed.

Wondering out loud if you remembered to take your Pill.

Bugging him about how long he plans to be 'almost there.'

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Pre-Prebooty Turn-Ons
Whisper in his ear during a movie. Your warm breath will tickle the nerve endings there... and get the rest of his body stirring.

While you're walking hand in hand, slowly pull your fingers away, and hold on to just his thumb for a few minutes. This grip will get him thinking about your hand wrapped around his package.

When you're sipping your drink, use your tongue instead of your lips to cushion the edge of your glass. Just that little glimpse of the tip of your tongue will drive him absolutely wild.

If you're cooking dinner with him - or for him - ask him to tie an apron around your waist. Not only does an apron scream French-maid fantasy, it gets him chomping at the bit to untie it and undress you later.

Find any excuse to touch yourself in front of him – rub in lotion, adjust your skirt, or complain about a sore muscle as you caress your thigh. It'll draw his eye to your body, and his brain will follow.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
His Dating Body Language
The Head Tilt: Men only angle their faces when listening intently.

The Chest Puff: He's trying to look bigger and stronger than other guys.

The Mini Touch: He'll instinctively graze your forearm while talking.

The Eye Contact: He'll keep looking you in the eye while you're in conversation.

The Smile: His immediate response (before he tries to look cool again) is for his face to light up when he sees you.

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Scan Your Man
Have your partner stand before you naked in bright light.

Examine his entire body - front and back, and from his head to his toes.

Pay special attention to his scalp and ears, as well as hard-to-see areas like under his feet.

Look for any red spots or moles that are more than one colour, larger than the diameter of a pencil eraser, or have changed in any way.

Switch places, disrobe, and have him scan you. If either of you sees something suspicious, get it checked out by a GP or dermatologist.

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
Male Traits You Don't Want To Pick Up
They Have Date Dementia: Men may have a genius-level ability to remember rugby scores and their friends' phone numbers, but they draw a total blank on major milestones, such as your birthday and anniversary.

They're Label Conscious: For some strange reason, guys can date you steadily for seven months, and it still won't occur to them to introduce you as their girlfriend.

They Prefer To Fly By The Seat Of Their Pants: While no one's knocking spontaneity, most guys think calling you an hour before picking you up is advance planning.

They're Phone Phobic: Okay, we get how they might not be up for yakking for three hours straight or SMSing every 10 minutes, but there's nothing wrong with calling up out of the blue just to say hello.

They Keep a Perpetual Stiff Upper Lip: You'd think that the emotional armour the average guy wraps around himself would get pretty damn uncomfortable day in, day out.

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
His Top Turn-Offs
Getting angry when he wants a boys' night out.

Brooding after a fight.

Asking about exes.

Insisting he calls or e-mails more than once a day.

Fishing for compliments.

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
'Speak Up Already!'
Your Opinions: 'Don't wait till after I get home from a trip to Plett with my friends to tell me I'm a jerk for going.' - Harry*, 24

What You Want: 'My girlfriend never makes decisions. She's being easy going, but it drives me freaking nuts.' - Nick*, 25

Why You're Pissed: 'She ignores my calls for a day, and by the time she tells me why, I'm too frustrated to care.' - Siya*, 28

Your Needs In The Sack: 'I'd love for my girlfriend to talk more during sex and tell me what she wants me to do to her.' - Leo*, 32

His Needs In The Sack: 'When I ask my girlfriend to go down on me, she refuses but won't say why. I wish she'd fill me in.' - Daniel*, 27

*Names have been changed

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
Signs He's Crazy In Love (Part Two)
You ask him a question while he's watching the rugby, and he noticeably rotates his head in your direction.

During a night out with the boys, he ducks into the bathroom to SMS you the lyrics to Bruno Mars' 'You're Amazing' - just to let you know he's always thinking of you.

Your man only picks up porn videos that are produced and directed by women.

He notices your 'subtle, face-framing highlights.'

He actually lowers the toilet seat.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
Signs He's Crazy In Love (Part One)
He holds your bag like it's his job.

He slips up and calls you 'Boo Bear' in front of his friends.

He insists on buying for-her-pleasure ribbed condoms… in bulk.

After calling 'Mom' (as in your Mom) to have the family album over-nighted, he Photoshops your grade six pictures together to see (just out of curiosity) what your kids might look like during their awkward phases.

He uses his prized 'Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder' T-shirt to wax your car.

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
Stuff Guys Don't Get
Slouchy Boots: They look like you've got grandpa jowls on your legs.

Massive Jewellery: Okay, we get the thing about massive diamonds, but not gigantic necklaces that weigh as much as a small child.

Thank You Cards: You already said thank you in person. If you really need to reiterate it, you have a phone, right?

Facial Hair Bleach: Um, it makes hair white - not invisible.

Tiny Handbags: No, we will not hold your wallet, keys and hairbrush. You chose to carry a useless bag.

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
Tanning Lies
Lie: Getting a base tan indoors protects you from sun damage.
Tan truth: Even a slight tan indicates that you've caused trauma to your skin, making you susceptible to skin cancer. If your skin has darkened or gone brown, the damage has already been done.

Lie: UVB rays cause skin cancer. Tanning booths primarily emit UVA rays, so you're safe.
Tan truth: UVA rays have been found to trigger squamous and basal cell carcinomas, common kinds of skin cancer. Tanning bed use has also been linked to melanoma.

Lie: The UV light emitted by booths provides vitamin D.
Tan truth: You can get plenty of vitamin D by walking outside, even with sunscreen, five minutes a day, three times a week.

Lie: If you avoid the harsh midday sun you're safe from damaging your skin.
Tan truth: Any time the sun's rays are intense enough for you to get a tan, your skin is being injured. Avoid the midday sun and make sure you're protected the rest of the time with clothing, sun-block and a hat.

Lie: Dark skins are immune to skin cancer.
Tan truth: When exposed to the sun, dark skins are less likely to burn than fairer skins, but they are also susceptible to sun damage including premature ageing and cancer. Even skin that contains more pigment needs to be protected from the sun.

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
What Every COSMO Girl Needs at Home
Cylindrical Glass Vases:
Fill them with candles, flowers or even fruit to create a sophisticated and pulled-together lounge.

A Bottle Of Champagne:
Perfect for surprise special occasions.

A Pretty Serving Platter: This will make even the most basic snacks look luxe.

Woven Baskets Or Vintage Crates:
Just right for stashing away magazines, clutter and beauty products.

A Dozen Wine Glasses: Why? So you never have to serve a 1997 merlot in a mug.

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
Be Instantly Alluring
Take a creamy rose blush, and apply it in a half-moon shape under your brow bone and over the tops of your cheekbones for a subtle sheen that draws attention to your eyes and makes your face glow, says makeup expert and artistic director, Dick Page.

Sounds crazy, but patting on a soft, shimmery pink lip gloss under your brows helps highlight and lift your eyes, says Dior's global makeup advisor, Shane Paish.

Make sure when you use lip gloss near your eyes, that you use a non-sticky formula. You wouldn't want your lashes to get stuck! Even more importantly, make sure you blend it in properly.

Wear contrasting eye shadow colors, such as appyling a bright, intense hue (like purple) on your upper lids, then dragging a softer hue (pearly green) along your lower lash line, recommends Page.

Comb loose bronze powder through your lashes instead of mascara. 'You'll get a subtle sparkle that's so sexy for night since it catches the light,' says M.A.C. senior makeup artist, Chantal Miller. One swipe should do it - you don't want any excess flakes to fall under your eyes.

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
He's Just Not That Into You (Part Two)
He keeps hinting about having a threesome with you and your hot friend… or just your hot friend.

Whenever you want to hang out, he says he has to work late… which would be fine, except he only works in the mornings.

He breaks up with you just before a major gift-giving occasion, like Valentine's Day or your birthday.

He has a secret crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal's… brother.

When he unexpectedly sees you on the street, he looks away and pretends to be doing something else.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
He's Just Not That Into You (Part One)
Most of his phone responses consist of 'Huh?' And you're not sure, but it sounds like he's watching the rugby.

He has a habit of forgetting simple things. Like your name.

He asks how your day was, then clicks on his iPod.

When a fast-food cashier asks whether you want to play separately by saying, 'You two together?' he instinctively answers, 'It's not serious.'

He calls only after midnight. And by call, we mean SMS.

>>>Go To Part Two

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
Seasonless Beauty Secrets
Define Your Brows: Use a soft pencil in dark brown to accentuate your shape and conceal any patchy gaps.

Conceal Dark Circles: Dust a thin line of taupe shadow under your lower lashes to offset any bluish under circles, says Matin, Neutrogena cosmetic science expert.

Plump Your Lips: Sparkly eye shadow dabbed in the centre of your lips gives the effect of fullness. 'The shimmer draws light, so your lips seem to bow out naturally,' explains Miller, MAC senior makeup artist.

Get Glowy: Mix a pinch of metallic eye shadow into face lotion to warm your complexion.

Lengthen Your Lashes: Always curl your lashes before applying mascara. This makes them curve up higher and appear longer.

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Lust In Translation
French: presérvatif

Spanish: condón

Italian: preservativo

Dutch: condoom

Icelandic: smokkur

Not going overseas? Click here to find accommodation across South Africa.

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Flat-Ab Eats
Homemade Mix: Toss together a whole-wheat pretzel (broken into bite-size pieces), nuts, and dried cranberries. The combination will satisfy sweet and salty cravings.

Veggies and Salsa: Carrots, cucumbers, and bell peppers are practically no-cal, and they're great for dipping (try salsa for a spicy kick).

Mixed Fruit: Slice up a melon and apples. They're packed with water, so you'll stay hydrated and feel full.

Lettuce Wraps: Counting carbs? Get rid of the bread and wrap lettuce around grilled chicken. Add hummus for flavour.

Pita Chips: For a greaseless chip, sprinkle olive oil and garlic powder onto a pita. Bake at 250 degrees until hard. Break into pieces.

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Ways To Ruin The Romance (Part Two)
During post-deed cuddling, pry his arms from around you and mutter, 'Eeew, you never used to be so mushy all the time.'

When he brings you flowers, fake sneeze and say you're allergic to anything less than R40 per stem.

As you're both getting undressed, ask if he ever gets self-conscious about his womanly hips.

Before you accept anything he proposes, ask to see it in writing. If he balks, shrug and say, 'We live in litigious times, dude.'

As he reads the poem he's written to you out loud, yawn and tell him to skip ahead to the good parts.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Ways To Ruin The Romance (Part One)
During lingering eye contact, say, 'Wow, you really do look like my brother.'

After he gives you an expensive necklace 'just because,' squeal giddily... then ask if he got a gift receipt.

Instead of saying 'I do,' yell 'Deal!' and pump your fists at the crowd.

When he plans an über-romantic night out - roses, limo, dinner - express your glee by taking camera-phone pictures at every step and immediately SMSing your best pal to describe what he's doing now.

If he snuggles up to you and asks 'Could anything make this date more perfect?' say 'Ice cream,' and make him go buy you a cone.

>>>Go To Part Two

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Hurdles Power Women Must Clear
Dealing With Non-Working Women: When you're surrounded by women who don't work, it's easy to think that it wouldn't be so bad to sip lattés all day and have free time. But, be honest: You'd probably be bored out of your mind.

Dealing With Your Power: A lot of women in their 20s and 30s feel guilty because they are so successful, but you shouldn't: If you can't feel comfortable with it, your man won't either. And stop worrying that he'll resent you because he can't catch up.

Dealing With The 'Double Shift': Studies show that working women still wind up doing the lion's share of household duties too (hence the term 'double shift'). If you want him to pitch in more, don't nag, just ask.

Dealing With Jealousy: Unfortunately, not all women will be supportive and happy about your success - especially when they are still struggling to find their feet. Never apologise for the fact that you're doing well.

Dealing With Men Who Don't Take You Seriously:
Unfortunately, we still live in a very chauvinistic world, and many men still have a hard time taking orders from a woman. This is not the time to giggle when some fool in your office makes a sexist joke. In order to win their respect you will have to be assertive and professional at all times, and let them know who's boss.

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Booty Blunders
Let off a stinker mid-act? Blame the dog, and make a big show of getting him out of the room. Then return with a surprise, like whipped cream, or turn on sexy music,' suggests Dr Arlene Goldman, co-author of Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy (Alpha). The novelty will help him forget the incident.

While changing position you fanny-farted loudly? Whether he's your steady or a new boy, relax. 'If you stop, you'll turn the situation into something bigger than it is,' says Goldman. 'Men don't think too much about this stuff. Just move on.'

Called him by your ex's name? Say something like 'Whoa, did I really just call you Frank instead of Eric? I have no clue where that came from... I must've been out of my mind and delirious with pleasure.'

Got your period on his sheets? Men are much less squeamish about this stuff than we are. Tell him, matter-of-factly, and load them into the machine. Then carry on as if nothing happened.

Couldn't control your gag reflex? Laugh it off, and he'll do the same. Tell him the problem is that he's just so big. He'll be so pleased by the compliment he'll forget all about what motivated it.

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Spice Up Sleep
Watch a steamy movie or read a lusty novel pre-bed. Before nodding off, masturbate slightly - but don't orgasm - to keep you in an aroused state.

Wear something seductive to bed, like silk lingerie, to make you feel sensual.

Before you doze off, imagine yourself taking part in your most erotic fantasy. Resist the urge to touch yourself.

Have a sensuous bubble-bath before you hit the sheets and rub yourself in sweet-smelling body lotion.

Consciously tell yourself that you want to have an erotic dream. Then completely relax.

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
When His Fantasy Is Freaky
Keep your face neutral: A wrinkled brow, mini sneer or widened eyes will make it seem like you're judging him harshly. If you do wince accidentally, just make a joke of it, like 'That's my dirty boy!'

Ask for time: Lots of sexy things sound weird at first. Instead of acting freaked out or saying no right off, buy yourself time. Try a line like, 'I'd never thought about that. Mind if I mull it over for a few days?'

Make contact: Smile and rub his back or rest a hand on his leg after he drops his bombshell. That physical contact shows that you're not recoiling from him, even if you're not crazy about his idea.

Show TLC: Be reassuring - not about his fantasy, but about his willingness to talk. Say you value how honest he is with you. That leaves the door open for more discussion... when and if you're ready.

Don't judge him: The fact that he's made himself vulnerable by sharing a secret fantasy with you means he trusts you. Consider humouring him just one time - chances are he'll discover not all fantasies are fantastic in reality.

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Secrets You Must Never Tell (Part Two)
That story about the time you were drunk and had to wee but the line was long and you were wearing black pants, so...

Your new collection of designer lipsticks were actually 'liberated' from the desk drawer of the just-fired receptionist.

You once digitally replaced your friend's face with yours in a picture just to see how you'd look dating her hot boyfriend.

You stumbled across your boss's dating profile online... and she describes her perfect match as a 'discreet couple.'

You were fired as your best friend's bridesmaid after the 'hilarious' wedding shower gag gift you gave her.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Secrets You Must Never Tell (Part One)
What happened at Plett Rage... ended up on Youtube.

After you got your sister grounded for stealing the necklace your parents gave you, you found it buried in your underwear drawer.

You rehearse your witty (and sexy) first-date small talk with your cat beforehand.

That colour printout of a dream holiday itinerary that crashed the network for a few hours during deadline and made everyone have to stay late the night of the Idols SA finale? Ja, your bad.

You have an alter ego named Lulu, and when you write in your diary about things 'she' does, you use the third person.

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Meet Mr Big
Do not stare for more than five seconds… unless you'd be okay with his whipping it out right then and there.

Don't record his largess with your camera phone. Remember: The date you want to end up with is not in court.

A bulging crotch does not necessarily mean he has a large member. Some men, for example, are known to stuff a pair of socks into their jocks. Really.

Do not chat up a big boy who happens to be attached to a possessive woman. Unless you're ready for a fight.

If you get caught, play it off. Should he bust you mid-glance, casually say, 'Oh, my brother has been looking for a pair of pants just like those. Where did you get them?'

Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Cool Things About Varsity
Meeting Your BFFs: Because you're on your own for the first time, the friends you make at university become like a surrogate family. And those bonds tend to be lasting ones.

Not Having a Curfew: Now that Mom and Dad aren't waking up, you can come home pretty much whenever you want... if at all.

Getting a Fresh Start: University is a clean slate - no one will know you had a nose job or were considered part of the nerd herd in high school. Plus, with so many students with diverse interests, you'll easily be able to find people who are your type.

Enjoying More Free Time: Because you have more control over your schedule you may be able to sleep in a few mornings a week and have Fridays off completely.

Taking Interesting Classes: A few requirements aside, you can choose courses that appeal to you and avoid ones that don't.

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Missing Something?
Do you find yourself agreeing with what other people say just so you don't draw attention to yourself?

Have you ever felt like you're not being 'you'?

Do you have a tendency to put other people's wants and needs above your own?

Do you ever go along with the crowd so you don't rock the boat?

Looking back, are there one or more big dreams you had as a child that you have given up on as an adult because they're unrealistic?

Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Love Notes 101
Know your subject. If the object of your affection loves a certain food, colour, quote, or animal, write about that. Be specific.

Avoid the words 'heart', 'soul', 'rose', 'forever', and 'die'. All are grossly over-used and make you seem unoriginal.

Don't rhyme. Ever.

Illustrations are always cool.

Make him/her smile. Laughter is the best aphrodisiac.

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Being Too Bitchy (Part Two)
You no longer receive phone calls from telemarketers - apparently, word has gotten around.

You routinely shout at your houseplants for being too demanding.

Your guy has claw marks all over his back - even though you haven't had sex for three months.

Rumour has it that Naomi Campbell thinks you're a bit highly strung.

This CG was e-mailed to you anonymously... 37 times.

<<<Go Back To Part One

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Being Too Bitchy (Part One)
Most of your first dates these days end in tears… his tears.

People leave PMS medication on your desk - all month long.

Your mom screens your calls.

When you get assigned to a project at work, your new teammates all make that face guys make when they see someone getting hit in the groin with a ball.

Your boyfriend has instructed the local florist to send you flowers with an 'I'm sorry!' note every 10 days, rain or shine.

>>>Go To Part Two

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Hot Hand Action
Draw Him Close: Arch your back, put one hand behind his neck and pull his face toward your breasts. It shows how badly you're craving him.

Apply Pressure: Push your nails into his back or gently tug the roots of his hair. A rough touch feels wild and conveys your excitement for him.

Stroke Your Breasts: Watching you turn yourself on is a thrilling visual for him.

Hold His Face: Place your palms flat against his cheeks, and gaze directly into his eyes. This way, you'll be able to see each other's enjoyment.

Give a Sexy Squeeze: Grip your guy's biceps, chest muscles, and shoulders - expressing how much you love his body gives him a confidence boost.

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
How Guys Get Happy
Visiting Mom and Dad: Men see it as more pleasurable than women do because they may spend time hanging out with their dads, while girls often end up helping out their moms.

A Good Social Life: Women rely on an emotional network of friends, but for guys it's more important to have a loyal wingman to party with.

Sport: When it comes to sport both sexes manage bad moods with engaging activities, but guys need the competition to vent their frustration after a tough day. Women might hit the treadmill; guys will head for the squash court.

Money: While women like the comfort and security of a good job, men are generally more concerned about earning a high salary and being perceived as successful in their careers.

A Close, Loving Relationship: Here's where we agree. Being in a partnership helps both genders deal with stress. Sex also ranks high - more so than for women - for putting a smile on a guy's face.

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs a Male Friend Likes You
He cracks 'jokes' about the two of you. Like, you go out to a bar, and he says, 'You need to know, no matter how drunk you get me, I am not going home with you tonight.'

When there's trouble with your man, he's always conveniently available to complain to. For instance, after a bad date, he calls you back pronto and wants details.

He tosses out an 'innocent' comment about your guy, but it plants a seed of doubt in your head. Example: He says, 'Wow, Matt's unusually tall,' making you wonder if he's a freak. Thus, hopefully urging a breakup and leaving an opening for him to make a move.

He gets a bit sulky when you go on about the hot guy you met last night.

He makes excuses to touch you – putting his hand on your arm, for example, or brushing your hair out of your eyes.

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Brilliant Excuses
'Brrr, my hands were cold!'

'This new yoga move I learned is a total killer.'

'My waxer missed a spot.'

'Oops, lost my panties!'

'Have you seen my car keys? I've been looking everywhere for them.'

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
How To Achieve Beautiful Brows
Did you know that the further apart your brows are, the larger your nose looks? And, that a harsh arch in the wrong place can create puffy eyes? Not to worry. Follow professional beauty therapist, Amy Olden's tips for more beautiful brows.

The first imaginary line must follow the natural line of the outer bridge of your nose, and this is where your first brow hairs need to start.

Any hair on the other side of this line can be tweezed.

The second line starts again from the outer bridge of your nose and passes along the outer rim of your pupil and upwards. This is the highest point of your arch. Having a defined arch makes the eye longer and sexier instead of having a perpetually 'surprised' look.

From the bridge line, imagine a line to the outer corner of your eye - this is where your brow should end. Any hairs beyond this point should be plucked.

Make sure not to tweeze any hairs above your brow because this can cause them to grow back thicker.

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Psycho, Not Sweet (Part Two)
Telling him you've changed all your passwords to his name + your name = truluv4eva.

Calling the minute you wake up to say 'Good morning!' - every single day you're not together.

Creating a scrapbook of your relationship that includes his used napkins, old ATM receipts, and hair.

Blowing up a photo of his face to make it your desktop wallpaper.

Phoning his mom to say happy birthday – even though he hasn't introduced you yet.

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Psycho, Not Sweet (Part One)
Creating several Facebook photo albums and interest groups dedicated to the two of you.

Giving him a framed picture of yourself.

Trying to become besties with his male friends.

Naming your cat after him.

Becoming a rabid, face-painting superfan of his favourite teams.

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Work Out The Kinks
Do It at Your Place: You'll probably feel more at ease pushing the envelope in your own home. Add some extra ambience by dimming the lights and putting on seductive music.

Don Different Lingerie: Wearing especially sexy underthings while dabbling in uncharted territory can help you feel like you're trying out a new persona.

Create a Safe Word: Before you get it on, come up with a word or phrase that means hold up.

Discuss Your Desires Beforehand: Sharing your fantasies with each other prior to the main event prevents any awkward moments and miscommunication. And bear in mind that just talking about what you want to do to each other is erotic.

Take Baby Steps: Ease into naughtier play by making small changes - tweak a position or have sex on the kitchen counter instead of the couch.

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Clues He's Self-Conscious
He's a Walking Wardrobe:
Your guy wears multiple layers to look more beefy or oversized clothes - probably to hide excess weight. SAY: 'Mmm... I adore how you look in just that shirt.'

He Digs The Dark: It's lights off during sex. SAY: 'Let's leave this side-lamp on - I want you to see how hot you get me.'

He's Mirror-Obsessed: When it comes to primping, he does it more than you. SAY: 'Did you forget how gorgeous you are?'

The Green-Eyed Monster Appears:
He compares himself to others with questions like, 'Don't you think his biceps are more manly than mine?' SAY: 'No. And even if they were, what good are those guns when the rest of the package is nowhere near as handsome?!'

He asks about sex with your ex.
SAY: 'It was fine, but you're better. Period.' Even if it's a white lie, the confidence-boost to him makes it forgivable.

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs He's a Hot Catch (Part Two)
Your holiday plans are delayed because that darn swimming pool won't be finished at his place in Portugal.

The picture of him on your desk at work has caused so many hallway collisions that your boss asked you to remove it.

You crack, 'Is that a torch in your pocket..?' then notice his torch is sitting over there on the counter.

He drives you to the airport. At 3am. Through hail. With broken wipers. And he still asks for a kiss when you get there.

Only after a spicy night of Truth or Dare do you find out that he quit modelling to become a neuroscientist.

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs He's a Hot Catch (Part One)
That delicious, intoxicating fragrance he's wearing? Yep, it's his sweat.

When you introduce him to your friends, they can't decide who to kill first: themselves or you.

You find out that his exes Cammie, Angie, and Jess are Diaz, Jolie, and Biel.

The first time you ask for his help opening a stubborn jar of pasta sauce, his powerful hands shatter the glass. The second time, he whispers gently to the jar until it opens itself.

You know he's really stressed out when the poor guy only has the concentration to give you three orgasms.

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Happy Meals

Day 1 - 5: You're emotionally sensitive right now. Magnesium-rich food (spinach, whole grains) and foods with omega-3 fatty acids (salmon, sardines, walnuts) will steady your nerves.

Day 6 - 13:
Rising hormones insulate you from stress, so you'll find it easier to eat healthfully. Now's the time to load up on fruits and veggies.

Day 14 - 17: All of your senses are heightened - including taste. Indulge in fabulous gourmet foods, such as cheese, lobster, beef and good wine.

Day 18 - 23: When progesterone peaks, the bowel slows down. High-fibre dishes like brown rice, barley and vegetables will combat constipation while keeping your energy up.

Day 24 - 28: PMS calls for comfort food, but pair your favourite carbs with protein to stabilise your blood sugar. Ice cream is your best bet - it's sinful and satisfying.

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
When a Friend May Be In Danger
Voice Your Suspicions:
Be specific about why you're concerned: 'Tony gets so angry over little things. I'm afraid that he's going to get violent with you, or that he already has.' Focus on her safety so that she doesn't think you're criticising her choice in men.

Give Her The Facts:
Bring her pamphlets, tip sheets, and other info downloaded from a domestic-violence site. This way, she won't feel like you're lecturing her.

If She Insists She Is Fine, Remain In Her Life: Let her know that you support and care about her, and stay in touch. If she doesn't return your calls, check in via e-mail or drop by her workplace.

If She Admits That She's Worried About Her Safety... reassure her that she's doing the right thing. If she decides to go to the police for help, offer to accompany her for support.

Should She Pluck up the Courage to Leave For Good...
make your couch available to her until she gets back on her feet. Knowing she has a plan B (and a good friend encouraging her to stay away) gives her a much better chance of actually following through.

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
The Art Of The Ultimatum
He Has a Legit Excuse
If you really think the two of you click, but he's stalling because he's temporarily focused on something else (like finishing his post-grad) give him a firm deadline (e.g., until he reaches his goal).

He Needs To Rethink His Priorities
Say he's a jock and you hate sport, but he wishes you had that in common. Is it so important to him that he's willing to risk losing you? (Note: If the answer is yes, you don't want him anyway).

He's Chronically Indecisive
Some guys are reluctant because they can't make a decision. He's not afraid of committing to you; he's just afraid of committing. If that sounds like your man, he might need prodding to get off the proverbial fence. Just tell him that you want him to be in your life, but if he can't make a decision in the next couple of months, you'll have to move on. Warning: If you issue an ultimatum like this, you'd better be prepared to stick to it.

When Your Biological Clock Is Clanging
It starts off as a tick, but as you approach your mid-thirties your fertile years are dwindling - fast. He, on the other hand, has all the time in the world. If you want kids and you want them with him, you need to read him the infertility rites. If he still doesn't take the bait, it might be time to look around for a new donor... er, partner.

He Tells You He's Not The Marrying Kind
Do not make the mistake (like so many women do) of thinking that he will change his mind on account of your fabulousness. This has nothing to do with you - he just doesn't want to get married. If you have a dream that involves Vera Wang and a veil, deliver that ultimatum now. He will probably choose not getting married, but isn't it better to know now rather than 10 years down the line? Then, go and find a guy who's excited about making (fabulous) you his wife.

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Closeness Killers
SMSing Each Other… All Day: You like to stay connected, but constantly messaging depersonalises your relationship. Although the occasional 'Thinking of you' is nice, one phone chat a day is better than 20 electronic exchanges.

Going To Bed at Different Times: If you're tired but he has another two hours of sport highlights ahead of him, the urge is just to head to bed. But that will make you feel more disconnected, as it solidifies a message that you're not living on the same schedule.

Pouncing When You Get Together: After a long day, you're happy to see each other. But puppy-at-the-door eagerness can be off-putting. Most people need 10 minutes to unwind. Accelerating that period may annoy your partner and make him distant for the rest of the night.

Coming On Too Strong With His Family: You want (and need) the approval of his peeps, but overdoing the buddy-buddy thing could feel insincere (to them), and overly eager (to him). Be warm, polite and respectful, but bending over backwards to be bffs with his sister will freak him out and make him pull away.

Complaining About Your Boss/Family/Weight: Sure, you should have honesty and intimacy, but using him as your 24/7 sounding-board for unloading on all your problems will kill the passion quicker than you can say 'muffin top.' He's had a hard day, too. Call a friend, instead, and save his ear for nibbling.

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
No Sweat Tips
Swipe it on at night: It's absorbed better in the evening. First, blast the area (whether underarms or feet) with a hairdryer on cool to zap excess moisture.

Cover your skin with plastic wrap: This locks the antiperspirant into sweat ducts so it'll work better the next day.

Reapply in the morning: Glide on two more layers post-shower.

Repeat this routine for one week: 'You will see significant improvement in how much you sweat,' says dermatologist, Dr Mary Lupo.

Remember, all antiperspirants are not created equal – test-drive different brands until you find the one that delivers the best result.

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs He Won't Be Making You Breakfast
An elaborate tattoo on his arm: Look closely at that design - is it cleverly covering the names of at least three ex-girlfriends?

A tan line on his wedding finger: He doesn't wear a ring to the clubs, but he might still slip it on during the day as a force of habit.

Fidgety behaviour: Beware of a repetitive itch downstairs that he tries to palm off as adjusting his pockets. These aren't the symptoms of a common cold.

A man with more than one cell phone: It's the sign of either a professional womaniser or a drug dealer. Both are best avoided.

A bad memory: If you've spent a couple of nights with him already, ask him what your initials are. It he can't even get the first one, this romance isn't likely to make it to the departure lounge.

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
How To Apply Eye Cream Correctly
Never apply facial cream to your eye area. The skin around the eye is too thin for the large molecules of facial cream to penetrate, causing small hard bumps called milia to form under the skin.

Decant half a pea-sized dab of eye cream or gel to the tips of your pinkie finger. Wipe half of the cream onto the other pinkie, making sure each pinkie size of cream/gel is equal.

Gently pat the eye cream/gel along the orbital (eye) bone. This is better than rubbing the cream, which will pull at the delicate skin, causing premature aging.

Once absorbed, the cream/gel will spread into the orbital area on its own. It's not necessary to apply right up to the eye.

Applying eye cream/gel too close to the eye can increase your chance of getting product into the eye, causing puffiness, swelling and redness. Not all eye creams are created equal – choose a good one for the best results.

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Burns Your Relationship Can't Recover From
…when you're both out with friends, you roll your eyes more than once every three minutes.

…every other man looks cute, including Jeremy Clarkson.

…you realise you have more to say to the cat (and vice versa).

…he invites his best mate to your anniversary dinner.

…the best mate turns up. And your boyfriend doesn't.

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Personality Traits That Make You Vulnerable
Desire To Please: You don't want another drink, but you accept it because you don't want to be rude.

Naivete: You seem impressed by his place in the world relative to yours, hanging onto every word about his high-powered job or bad-boy lifestyle.

Need To Fit In: You appear heavily influenced by what others think, willing to go along with the crowd and reluctant to stand out. You readily defer to others about plans.

Passivity Or Timidness: Predators are skilled at sensing fearfulness. If he violates your personal space by standing too close and sees fear on your face, he knows he can dominate you. But if you show that you are either turned off or annoyed, he will sense that he cannot push you around.

Carelessness: The woman who leaves a club alone and walks to her car in the pitch dark makes herself an easy target. If you're leaving alone, have somebody – preferably a male – walk you to your car. Particularly when you're out partying, you need to keep your street-smarts about you. Don't let alcohol or the 'party vibe' affect your judgement.

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Things That Make a Marathon Couple The Neurobiology of Love (Academic Press) and Colleen Rush, certain key qualities make twosomes last.

They Tip The Love Scale
The happiest duos have at least five little love flashes - like a sly pinch on the butt, a compliment in front of his friends, or a love note left on a foggy bathroom mirror - for every less-than-lovely moment that crops up.

They Play To The Positive

Successful twosomes give themselves silent pep talks that keep their love front and centre, like thinking, 'I can't wait to have a fabulous meal with him when he walks through the door', rather than, 'Ugh, he's five minutes late for dinner.'

They Go For Round Two
Blissed-out couples stay cool and collected to keep little relationship glitches in their proper perspective. By dealing with a conflict once they're feeling calm, minor issues blow over. That energy is better spent enjoying each other.

They Get Over Fall-From-Grace Moments

All relationships have a turning-point moment where one realises the other person is not the embodiment of perfection. Instead of focusing on this, happy couples see the incident in its proper context, knowing that their partner is usually sweet, considerate, loving and kind.

They Stay Lovers instead of Becoming Friends

Couples who keep the spark alive know how to respect the romance of their union. While they have intimacy, they also know how to keep the mystery and sexual energy alive by holding off on the minute details of every second of their lives.

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs You Fight Too Much (Part Two)
When you snipe 'We're through - and I mean it this time!' during a routine phone row, your office erupts in cheers.

Nine days out of 10, your personalised I AM AWAY message is set to read, 'We really need to talk.'

Your couples counsellor says his work with you is done and refers you to a referee for future sessions.

When you tell your overbearing, know-it-all mom about some spat, she says, 'No, you leave me out of that whole mess.'

When you greet him after work without mascara running down your cheeks, it takes him a minute to recognise you.

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs You Fight Too Much (Part One)
You have more sex than anyone you know... but it's all make-up sex.

Your last big blow-out started when you got upset that he got upset that you got upset that - wait, what? Exactly.

He keeps accidentally referring to the couch as his 'bedroom.'

The same acquaintances and family members who used to ask, 'So... are you guys thinking about marriage?' when they saw you now greet you with 'Oh... you guys are still together?!'

You recently noticed that your best friend has your landline programmed into her cell under 'The Bickersons'.

Wed, 21 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Infection Protection
Use condoms: Condoms can significantly cut down on the spread of STIs, although keep in mind that it won't eliminate the spread of infections carried in his semen, such as chlamydia and various skin-on-skin infections like herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV).

Lube up before sex: If you aren't lubricated enough during intercourse, there's increased risk that your partner's penis could cause tiny vaginal abrasions which make it easier for bacteria and viruses to burrow their way into your system.

Take extreme care when shaving or waxing:
A quick once-over in the shower may cause a nick in your skin through which microbes can enter.

Make sure his nails are short and that his hands are clean: Dirt under the nails can harbour bacteria which, if inserted into your vagina, can lead to infection. Plus, when things heat up, longer nails can cause nicks in your vagina through which bacteria can travel.

Don't let him swap from back door to front door: During sex, bacteria from your anal region will transfer via his penis into your vagina and potentially cause infection.

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Good Vs Bad Bitchy Lines
Smart Bitch Phrase: 'Excuse me, but I was actually here before you and would like to sit down/go next.'
Bad Bitch Phrase: 'Hey, beyaaatch, you just stole my seat/pushed into the queue!'

Smart Bitch Phrase:
'I know you care about me and don't realise it's coming off this way, but I need you to treat me with respect instead of just assuming I'm always free.'
Bad Bitch Phrase: (Tortured sigh) 'You always take advantage of me.'

Smart Bitch Phrase: 'I chose this restaurant/product/service because I've heard such great things about it, so I'm really surprised by these disappointing results. What can you do to fix the problem?'
Bad Bitch Phrase: 'I could have you fired!'

Smart Bitch Phrase: 'I appreciate your enthusiasm for my new idea, but next time please give credit where it's due.'
Bad Bitch Phrase: 'Steal my thunder again I'll tell (insert boss's name) how the photocopier really got cracked.'

Smart Bitch Phrase: 'I know my man is gorgeous, but ask him to dance one more time and you'll have to take him home and feed him.'
Bad Bitch Phrase: (Grabs offender by the shirt) 'Would you like to take this outside, slut?'

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Your Body Fight-Back Plan
You Produce Natural Painkillers: Opium-like substances are released, giving you time to take stock of your situation and get out of harm's way before you're incapacitated by pain.

You Can Move Fast: Glucose stored in your muscles is released into your arms and legs, so you have the energy to fight off your attacker or run.

You Feel Detached:
A few minutes after you've been hurt, it's common to dissociate, which creates the sensation that you're observing rather than experiencing. This may prevent you from freaking out so that you can cope.

You Feel Strong: Emergency mode shuts down the body's feedback system so that you can keep going beyond your resources, i.e. the normal sensations of pain/hunger/exhaustion are suppressed.

You Start To Hyperheal:
Your basal metabolic rate immediately speeds up to supply enough fuel and amino acids to help repair the injured area and replace protein that has been lost to prescription, bleeding, and excretion.

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
So, He Cheated... What Now? Living The Truth (Little, Brown and Company) suggests how to handle an affair's aftermath:

Ask Him Why: Put your grief, jealousy and rage aside long enough to ask him, 'Why do you think this happened?' Ablow advises: 'Say, "If you don't love me, that's one thing. But if you're cheating because our sex life is stalled, or you want to know that you're still attractive to women, we could save this relationship."'

Decide How Invested You Are: 'People who give up their relationships because of an act of infidelity may not have had much of a bond to begin with,' says Ablow. 'Automatically bailing doesn't translate as being loving - or realistic - to me.'

Reignite The Passion: 'If you believe this is your true partner, start doing the work to reawaken the passion,' says Ablow. 'Often your boyfriend or husband is the last person you've told what you really like in bed. Cheating can sometimes be a wake-up call.'

Get Help:
Sometimes people stray because they don't know how to handle the issues that have come up in the relationship. By eliciting the help of a couple's counsellor it's easier to see the problems in perspective. A counsellor can also provide practical solutions, so that the issues feel less overwhelming.

Stay Connected: Amidst the stresses of everyday life it's easy for couples to lose touch with one another. Forget friends, family and your hectic social life, and do things alone that you both enjoy.

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Libido Lifters
Do it more often: The more frequently you have an orgasm, either from sex or from masturbating, the more likely you are to want (and have) another.

Talk yourself up: Sexiness is an inside job. Instead of focusing on how you're not in the mood for amorous activities, pretend that you are. The real arousal will follow.

Don't forget your Kegels: These exercises (repeatedly clenching the stop-urine muscles) bring blood flow and energy to the genital region. Doing them can also stimulate sexual thoughts and feelings.

Feed your fantasies: Listen to sexy songs or watch a sexy movie - anything you can think of that will help you manufacture new, titillating turn-ons.

It doesn't hurt to flirt: Feeling desired by your partner is great for your sex life. Say something suggestive as you leave for work in the morning - come evening, the scene will be set for fireworks.

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Think Before You Speak (Part Two)
You loved when your competitive work 'friend' put on 5kgs during her much-bragged-about-trip to Paris.

When money's tight, you sometimes steal toilet paper from the office. Oh, who are you kidding? You do it when you're flush too.

From the moment you met him, you wanted to have his babies. Several of them. You also have names picked out.

Any story that includes you, a Christmas party, an orgasm (yours or otherwise) and a subsequent promotion.

There's a stack of bridal magazines and a scrapbook entitled 'My Dream Day' sitting under your bed.

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Think Before You Speak (Part One)
The number of guys you've bedded, if it rivals the current lottery jackpot figure.

That it was actually you, not the repairman, who reprogrammed your man's TV to record Private Practice instead of the game.

You sometimes let your dog, Smuffy, lick you on the mouth.

That you kind of had your fingers crossed when you said the lasagne he cooked you was deeelish. And the retching sound he heard afterward wasn't the neighbour's cat hacking up fur.

There never was a fire. Your brows are fishing-line thin because you plucked like crazy after three martinis and a breakup.

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Flutter-By Falsies
Prep your eyes first by applying your eye shadow and curling your natural lashes (if you attempt it afterwards you might rip them off.)

Test the length of the false lash by holding it up to your natural lash line. Be sure to curve them along your lash line; you may have to trim them slightly to get the exact fit for your eye.

When applying the lash, squeeze a tiny amount of lash glue onto the back of your hand and wait for it to get a little tacky. Then apply it to the back of the false lash - not your lash line.

Line up the false lash to the lash line and gently press down. Hold the lash in place for about five seconds until the glue holds.

Let the glue dry.

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Your Dating-Up Primer
Order a sophisticated drink. Many restaurants offer predictable options of popular wines such as chardonnay in order to please the masses. You'll usually get more unique wine - and look savvier for it.

Become fluent in food. Learn to pronounce the names of exotic dishes. That way, when you find yourself debating between duck confit (kohn-FEE) and that shrimp cocktail, you won't just order the latter because you know how to say it.

Slow down your speech. 'Pause before you start speaking to think about what you want to say, and don't over-explain or rush,' says Pam Zarit, a communication consultant. 'Once you've made your point, stop.'

Skim the headlines. When your date makes a comment about the government's latest faux pas, you don't want to be left blank-faced, now do you? So get a daily dose of news.

Learn to use chop-sticks. Somewhere, somehow you're going to be confronted with a plate of sushi - and if you haven't mastered the trick of the sticks you're going to embarrass yourself. Get a pair of chop-sticks and practice picking up peas. By the time the sashimi comes your way, you'll be a pro.

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Say This To a Guy
'Hat head is a really hot look on you!'
What It Says: You are a feisty, funny chick who will definitely keep him on his toes.

'I went white-water rafting last summer.'
What It Says: You're super-adventurous, exciting, and probably equally as gutsy in the sack.

'Ugh, this bar is so damn crowded.'
What It Says: You're easy-going - using a PG curse word lets him know he can relax with you.

'I had the greatest yoga class today.'
What It Says: You're fit… not to mention very flexible.

'That's hilarious!'
What It Says: You'll make him feel good about himself by stroking his ego when it's deserved.

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Unexpected Love Boosters
You Cook Him a Steak

Big, romantic gestures make more of a splash, but it's the little, everyday things you do for you guy that ground your love in reality and let him know you have his well-being in mind.

He Witnessed a Teary-Eyed Meltdown
Whether he wants to beat someone up or simply wrap his arms around you, a man's protective instinct kicks in when he sees someone (or something) make his girl cry.

He Meets Your Parents
Seeing where you come from gives him a deeper sense of who you are… and a better understanding of your little quirks (read: baggage). It can also fortify your connection as a united front (you versus them) if there's a conflict.

You Gave Him The Day Off
As much as you'd love to have him by your side at your Aunty Agnes's birthday braai, giving him a get-out-of-jail free card to go and play touch-rugby with his buddies will make him very grateful - and seriously loved up.

You Let a Faux Pas Slide
He forgot your anniversary, but instead of getting riled up and having a huge row, you remind him of all the other ways he shows his love for you. You'll win the Best Girlfriend In The World prize hands down.

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Hot Vs Not
HOT: Surprise him with a BJ.
NOT: Surprising him with one while he's on the phone with his Mom.

HOT: Gently nipping him near his package.
NOT: Drawing blood.

HOT: Humming while you go down on him.
NOT: Humming 'If You're Happy and You Know It'.

HOT: Telling him how you like to receive oral sex.
NOT: Using his ears as a steering wheel during oral sex.

HOT: Giving him oral action after drinking something hot.
NOT: Giving him oral action after eating a hot pepper.

Mon, 15 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Ways Not To Express Your Love For Him (Part Two)
Legally change your last name to his and exclaim, 'Well, that's out of the way.'

Share his interests and show your confidence in his commitment to you by shouting 'Wow, check out that hot chick!' when a pretty girl walks by your table at an outdoor café.

Request Diana Ross's 'Endless Love' at a karaoke bar and serenade your guy… drunk… in front of his parents.

When you're making out, start crying. Then, between sobs, declare 'I just can't believe I've finally met The One.'

When you call him at work and his boss answers, show the love: 'Tell that hunk of mine that I can't wait to get him home.'

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Ways Not To Express Your Love For Him (Part One)
Enrol in a tantric sex workshop so you can discover - together - the erotic power of intense eye contact and deep breathing.

Photoshop a picture of what your child might look like.

Say 'I love you' whenever he leaves a room, enters a room, ends your phone conversation or gets up from the group at the bar to buy you a beer.

While he's in the shower, change his outgoing message to say 'We're not here right now…'

Show you respect his love of sport by learning all the stats of his favourite team and eventually knowing more than he does.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Fight Off Your Cravings
Chug water. Feeling the urge to snack when you've eaten recently can be a sign that you're dehydrated, nutritionists say. Drink a glass of cold water and see if the cravings disappear.

Brush your teeth. It's a psychological cue to your brain that you are finished eating for a while. Plus, there's just something about having a minty, squeaky-clean mouth that makes you want to keep it that way.

Go for a walk. Even if it's just a quick lap around your office or a stroll down the block, a few minutes of exercise in addition to a change of scenery can take your mind off eating, say weight-loss experts.

Use your cell. Cravings tend to last only five minutes or so, according to nutritionists. So when yours kick in, make a phone call to someone chatty who can keep you occupied until the munchies pass.

Go shopping. One look in a changing room mirror and you might change your mind about digging in to that second slab of chocolate…

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Ways You Jinx Your Luck
You hang out with a pessimist. Experts call it social contagion: If you're with someone who's sure the world is against her, that thinking can infect you too.

You don't smile. Research shows that leading with a smile causes 'mirror neurons' to fire in other people, causing a bond to be formed more quickly.

You're vague about what you want. If you're not extremely clear about what you're looking for, you'll miss the signs that might lead you there.

You run into situations without thinking. Impulsive decisions are usually based on fear and not on what you really want.

You get off on the wrong foot. Expect to sabotage your diet and that's most likely how it will play out.

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Surprising Items That Bring Boys To You
Anything With Wheels: A skateboard, a scooter, vintage roller skates - guys get turned on by mobile, adventurous women.

A Crossword Puzzle: Guys love to show off how smart they are. Look stumped (even though you're not!) and he'll jump at the chance to help out.

T-Shirts That Show Your Sense Of Humour: If your top has something hilarious written on it, he will assume you'll be fun (we already know you are!).

A Weird Drink: How about asking the bartender to fix you a Fire Cocktail or a Good Night Kiss?

An iPad: Right now, it's the technological equivalent of a puppy: Guys will want to hold it and play with it.

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Great Icebreakers
Don't start a conversation; pretend you're in the middle of one. When you're in line at the movies, for example, pointing at a coming-soon poster, say, 'That's going to be hilarious, don't you think?' It's more casual than, 'Hi, do you come to the movies often?'

Lean towards him and say, 'Ha, check this out!' and show him a tweet that cracked you up.

Use this line: 'Is it me, or is that [blank] kind of [blank]?' (Waiter kind of rude/salsa kind of spicy/guy kind of weird looking, etc.)

Ask to use his cell when a friend is running late. Say, 'My battery is dead. Do you mind if I call my friend to find out when she'll be here?' Then invite him to keep you company while you wait.

It's easy to get skittish about approaching a guy who's in the limelight, but if you're crushing on a starving musician, artist, or writer, remember that under-the-radar creative types are desperate for praise. March right up to that gorgeous folk singer at the coffee shop and tell him you love his work.

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Savour The Silence
Don't state (and then restate) the obvious.

Watching the sun set with your guy doesn't require you to provide a running commentary. Sure, it's beautiful, but saying to him, 'Isn't it so beautiful, honey?' really exhausts the point.

Stay in the moment.

Breathe deeply a few times and take a mental snapshot of the setting that surrounds you instead of trying to express it. If you're in a constant state of chatter, the reality is that you're not really taking it in.

Give the guy a chance to speak. When you want to know what he's thinking, give him some room to say what's on his mind. He's more likely to talk if you're not sharing every thought - incessant chatter can be a little annoying.

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Pop Your Pimple Professionally
Firstly, give your hands a good wash to remove any bacteria. Then, wash and exfoliate the area gently, as this helps to remove the layer of dead skin cells, which could hold an infection.

Run a cotton pad under warm water and press it on your pimple for a few minutes to warm the skin. Make sure your nails are short. Then, wrap both of your index fingers with a clean tissue to cushion your nails.

You are now going to use a regular sewing needle that you have cleaned with pure alcohol. You're probably getting a bit nervous, but don't worry. Pierce the centre of the zit by gently pushing the needle in and out, making a 'canal'. When you squeeze a pimple with dirty fingers it breaks the skin, creating an injury and leaving a scar. A 'canal' helps remove the fluid without causing injury.

Make sure to squeeze on all sides of the pimple, gently wriggling the pads of your index finger to and fro until everything is extracted.

Dab the extracted areas with a bit of witch hazel on cotton wool. If the area is red and inflamed.

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Movie Myths We Wish Were True (Part Two)

Movies: Convertible cars are glamorous.
Reality: They make you look like you've been caught in an industrial wind tunnel.

The hot bartender has time to give love-life advice while flipping bottles in the air.
Reality: Our not-hot bartender ignores us for ages, then barely grunts as he serves us.

Movies: Men make women reach orgasm with the use of a single flower (40 Days And 40 Nights).
Reality: If the flower vibrated, then maybe...

Movies: You bump into a record-label tycoon, while singing to yourself on a train.
Reality: You bump into a guy on a train who has yet to discover deodorant.

Movies: You misjudge that sexy, yet arrogant guy. He reveals he's suffered a tragic loss and becomes your dream man.
Reality: You were right. He's a moron.

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Movie Myths We Wish Were True (Part One)

Movies: Any kind of lock can be picked with a credit card or hairclip.
Reality: Ha! Just try it on your front door next time you lose your handbag during a night out.

Movies: First-time sex is slow, sensuous and completely magical.
Reality: First-time sex is drunken, a little bit bumpy and often not that good.

Movies: Men's shirts get wet and have to be removed in women's homes.
Reality: This never happens.

Movies: Your boss is a smooth-talking lady-killer.
Reality: He's more Hugh Hefner… in a creepy way.

Movies: You can work in a city, yet live in a thatched cottage (like Kate Winslet in The Holiday).
Reality: Cramped flat in the City Bowl, anyone?

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Single-Girl Survival Rules
Remember: single men do not see weddings as an opportunity to meet eligible young women. They see them as an opportunity to get drunk for free.

Pluck up the courage to speak to other single women. Fast-forward to a few hours and you'll be ruling the dance floor together.

In preparation for the dreaded 'Still no boyfriend?' question, think of at least five fabulous reasons you're not ready to settle down yet.

During the speeches, look around and spot all the uncomfortable-looking couples who don't feel the same way.

Don't go expecting eye candy - sadly 'best man' doesn't always translate into 'best-looking' man.

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Post-Passion Caresses He Craves
Stroke His Stomach: Lie behind him and lightly drape your hand across his abs. This prolongs the feeling of physical closeness.

Stay Close: Stay quiet and close and try stabilise his body's breathing after sex is over and your bodies are no longer entwined.

Cup His Hand:
Resting your hand on top of his (without squeezing down or lacing your fingers) is a reassuring and intimate gesture.

Touch His Heart:
By placing your palm in the centre of his chest, you'll help steady his post-orgasm breathing and heartbeat.

Lie Still:
Try not to move too much. The key here is to rest and rejuvenate his and your bodies, before you start all over again…

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
The Frienvy Dictionary
Green-backed monster: A form of jealousy stemming from a friend's flush financial situation.

Menvy: The feeling you get when a cute guy comes up and talks to your friend.

Promotion sickness: Jealousy caused by a friend's rapid rise up the job ladder while you're stalled in a crappy job with a boss you hate.

Vain in the ass: Term for an average-looking individual who mistakenly believes her friends are jealous of her looks.

Just J: When you're jealous of someone you are close to, like your boyfriend.

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs Your Sex Rut Is Serious
Lately, a good sneeze is the best release you get.

When you and your guy check into a hotel room with two double beds, you use both.

You try to fast-track your orgasm during the ad break so you don't miss a minute of Private Practice.

During the deed, you fantasise about what colour you're going to paint your bedroom.

The 12-pack of condoms in your bedside table expired... three months ago.

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Success Killers Getting overly chummy with your boss. If your manager is thinking about all you have on your plate in your personal life, she may not pick you when a really great professional opportunity arises.

Kissing ass.
Acting blown away by everything you encounter makes you seem naïve and insincere, which doesn't exactly scream 'Promote me!' Genuine compliments are never unwelcome, but don't think you're fooling anyone by fawning.

Being too low-maintenance.
If you don't make the effort to toot your own horn regularly, your boss may simply be too busy to notice and take your efforts for granted.

Don't ever get too tipsy.
Going out for a drink with some colleagues might be good fun, but ensure you never have one too many. The next thing you know, your boss has to drag you into a taxi. Eek!

Going behind someone's back. Talking smack about your boss behind her/his back is never a good idea. This always comes back to bite you in the bum. Go to your boss directly if you have any problems.

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Get Volume and Keep It!
'For all hair types, it's essential to apply a good root-lifting product, then immediately blowdry,' says hair stylist Alan Coban.

'For short hair, you can simply apply a volumising product and blast the roots with a blowdryer while your head is upside down,' says hair stylist Barney Martin.

For medium hair lengths, the trick to blowdrying is to start at the roots and, using a round brush, pull the sections away from the scalp as you dry.

Or, if your hair is longer: 'Use Velcro rollers applied tightly to the roots,' says Martin.

'If you find your hair flops quickly, try using only a light volumising spray, and finish with a light back-comb and dry hairspray. Long hair will also benefit [from] layers to thicken, not lengthen, the overall look,' Martin adds.

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Why We Love To See Guys Sweat (Part Two)
Sweat makes a man's skin taste better than a margarita.

A guy who works so hard that he has to wipe his brow is bound to have stamina in the bedroom.

If he's sweaty, you don't need lube to make things slippery.

The sexy construction worker/fireman clichés? Sweat is the reason they exist.

If he's sweaty after an inspiring sack session with you… what's not to like?

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Why We Love To See Guys Sweat (Part One)
If a guy is sweating, he's probably about to take off his shirt.

A six-pack just looks better when it's glistening.

Research shows that chemical-spiked perspiration is the closest thing to a love potion.

Sweat presents the perfect excuse for a co-ed shower.

David Beckham just out of the pool: sexy. Just off the field: glorious.

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Don't Do This In His Bedroom (Part Two)
Have this conversation on your cell: 'Hey! I had fun last night too. Listen, I can't talk right now - you-know-who is in the room.'

Burn sage to rid the place of the 'energy' of his last relationship… nightly.

Stand in front of the mirror, turn sideways, push out your stomach, and ask, 'How cute would I be pregnant?!'

Reduce his carbon footprint and improve his feng sui by unplugging his gadgets and ditching that silly old couch.

Think nothing of using the trash bin under his desk for all your feminine-hygiene disposal needs.

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Don't Do This In His Bedroom (Part One)
Install one of those relaxation noise machines, and insist on drifting off to birds chirping and whales squealing.

Hang up your granny panties on his headboard to dry.

Touch the balled-up towel/sock/T-shirt under his bed.

Play the High School Musical soundtrack on repeat loud enough for all his neighbours - who, oh yes, happen to be his game-watching buddies - to hear.

Colour-code his duvet cover to the candles you've expertly placed around the room.

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs He's Not Ready (Part Two)
When your man read that Jake Gyllenhaal split from Taylor Swift, he pumped his fist in the air and shouted 'Yes!'

He sends the blonde at the bar a drink and his number. His explanation: 'Babe, you have to network if you want to get ahead.'

He takes you to splurge on some sexy lingerie for the first time, and the sales person asks witheringly, 'The usual, sir?'

Stashing some tampons in his bathroom drawer results in a two-hour lecture about respecting his personal space.

You walk past some signs advertising a bridal fair that's on next weekend, and he actually breaks out in hives.

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs He's Not Ready (Part One)
At a big party he introduces you as his 'future ex-girlfriend'

Hanging on the couch at his pad, he turns away from the TV and says, 'I just couldn't live without you…' to his roommate.

He refuses to trash the stained, stinky Star Wars duvet cover he's had since university.

You suggest mailing a joint thank-you card to some friends who lent you their car for a hot weekend away, and he throws down the remote control and squeals 'I don't think we're quite "there" yet'.

Behind his back, his friends and family affectionately refer to your potential life partner as Stand-Alone Bob.

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Your Orgasm Is Too Long When...
You're given an IV to replace all the fluids you've lost.

The neighbours complained about the noise until they finally moved out. Now new neighbours are complaining about the noise.

Your guy can't remember the last time he felt this tongue.

According to the TV in the other room, Dakota Fanning just welcomed her third grandchild.

You say 'Oh, my God!' so many times that He suddenly appears and says, ‘Jeez, what is it?'

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Classy 'Are You Calling Me Fat?' Comebacks The Fat Girl's Guide To Life, shows you how to give a proper comeback.

'You look really great. Have you lost weight?'
It may sound like a compliment, but it's more of a slap in the face. I generally say, 'Yes, I do look great but it has nothing to do with my weight. If you want to compliment me, just tell me I look great and leave it at that.' They'll be too scared to ever speak to you again.

'When are you due?'
'I'm not pregnant, I'm fat.' There is no unfertilised woman who wants to hear this question, fat or thin.

'Are you sure you wouldn't prefer the salad?'
Bitter and twisted waitresses like this one. Calmly explain that if you wanted salad, you'd have ordered salad. And do NOT tip her!

'I'd never eat that'/'I'm so fat and disgusting'/'I don't usually eat this much…'
These are all comments from people who are completely insecure, hunting for compliments or complete idiots.

'I use the stairs to stay thin'/'I go to the gym an hour a day'
I say give them a hearty, 'Good for you!' and get the hell out of there.

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Your Self-Help Plan Made Simple
Break It Down
Decide on your goal ('beating the blues'), then break down what you need to do into smaller, doable units, says psychologist Robyn Sandy. For instance, get up at a decent hour, exercise, watch your diet, notice your negative thoughts, set boundaries.

Go With The Fear
Change exposes you to the unknown, and can be frightening. To counter this, examine the consequences: if positives (improving your life) outweigh the negatives (perhaps upsetting people), you'll know your fears are worth facing.

Reward Yourself
Treat yourself as you make progress - buy a new top, have a massage. But avoid alcohol; it could contribute to the problem!

Get Support

Rally up your family and friends and get the support you need. Making difficult decisions and changes to your life will only be easier with a proper – and caring – support system rooting for you every step of the way.

Take The Next Step
If your 'blue period' lasts for more than two weeks, and you find it difficult to function normally, it could be something more serious. Make sure to make an appointment with your GP.

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Know Your Skin Routine
If you have dry skin, skip cleansing your face in the morning - just splash your face with warm water.

In your early twenties, you can use foaming/exfoliating cleaners, but once you hit your late twenties, switch to a gel cleanser - they're gentler on the skin.

Your eye area has few to no oil glands, making it drier that the rest of your face. Use a hydrating eye cream twice a day, after your face/night cream, and don't apply higher that your orbital bone.

Moisturiser before make-up is crucial to getting a flawless look, but allow at least one minute - preferably five - before you apply your base after moisturising.

All skin types need to be exfoliated a few times weekly to remove dead skin cells that form daily. It'll make your skin look fresher and cleaner. Promise.

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Fertility Fitness Myths Busted
The Tampon Myth
Fact: Many women freak out when they leave a tampon in for too long, and worry that they've done permanent damage. But there's nothing to be concerned about - it won't cause any problems with your reproductive system.

The Hair Dye Myth

Fact: Britney Spears has had more hair colours than chihuahuas, but her experiments didn't stop her from getting pregnant or giving birth. Once expecting, though, some women do choose to swap to vegetable dyes for their first trimester because there's some anecdotal evidence that chemical dyes could affect the baby's health.

The Douche Myth
Fact: Douches and feminine deodorants may contain chemicals that can trigger allergies or thrush, but they won't reduce your chances of getting pregnant.

The Dog Poo Myth
Fact: Many people believe the bacteria found in pet poo can affect your chances of falling pregnant, but it's definitely not the case, and there's no need to give up your furry friends.

The Airport Bag Detector Myth
Fact: These devices are magnetic field detectors, not X-rays, so they can't harm your body - and it's better than the embarrassment of a hand search.

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
DIY Blues Busters
Meditate: it brings relaxation and inner calm.

Exercise: 30 minutes three times a week will lift your mood, restore your energy, re-align your brain chemistry and improve your sense of self, says fitness coach Noeleen Bridle.

Eat Well: A balanced diet makes for positive moods. Vitamin B, folate (citrus, legumes and leafy veggies) and omega-3 fatty acids (fish, seafood and walnuts) are very effective.

Find a Happy Activity: Think about things that have made you happy to 'kick-start the brain into happy mode,' Bridle says.

Programme Your Wake-Up Time: Stick to the same wake-up time every day, even on weekends. 'Lazing around until 12 or 1pm will affect your mood because your body will be in shut-down mode,' explains Bridle.

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Five Steps To Foxy Flicks
After washing, towel dry and apply a few squirts of straightening liquid. Comb through from roots to ends.

Blast with your hairdryer until almost dry.

Part your hair on the side, then use a large, round brush to blow-dry in sections. Start at the neck, moving up and keeping undried sections pinned back.

Grab your ceramic irons and smooth hair all over. Around the hairline and the fringe, run your irons down the hair shaft until you're about 10 centimetres from the end. Turn the iron upwards, creating a flick.

Finish with a light hairspray on the ends.

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Keep Love Expectations Real
Your guy can't read your mind, so if you have your heart set on something specific, give him a heads up with a line like, ‘You know, it's our anniversary next week, and I've been wanting to try that cute new bistro.' It's not nagging - it's making his life easier and improving your experience.

He showed up with two dozen tulips, totally forgetting that you love pink daisies? Thank him for remembering that you love flowers, and concentrate on how lucky you are to have a man who tried. Dwelling on what you didn't get only encourages you to find fault.

Ask a friend to let you know when you're overreacting. Sometimes friends think you want them to humour your unrealistic complaints. And don't judge your guy based on what your friends' boyfriends do. It is not fair to him (they have flaws too!) and will only make you miserable.

You want him to gush about how much he loves you, but men are much more inclined to show their feelings through actions. Rather than sulking over the fact that he doesn't serenade you under your window, pay attention to the things he does do, like bringing you tea in bed, going to the 7-11 for tampons or coming along to visit your granny when he'd rather be doing anything else.

You'd like to move in, but he's not ready. Before you lose the plot and start accusing him of not loving you, consider the fact that it might not be personal – maybe he just needs to test the waters a little while longer. Give him the time he's asking for; his needs are important too.

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Could Your Identity Be Stolen?

SLIP-UP: Carrying your ID number in your wallet. Memorise the digits and keep your card in a safe place at home.

SLIP-UP: Supplying info for an online 'background check'. No credible retail or career website needs your social security number or date of birth.

SLIP-UP: Using a credit card as backup ID when paying by cheque. Pick something else, like business card, that doesn't give away account information.

SLIP-UP: Allowing someone to solicit personal info over the phone. Never give out personal information unless you initiate the call or can identify the caller.

SLIP-UP: Tossing your credit-card receipts and bank statements. Destroy credit-card receipts and unwanted solicitations of credit with a paper shredder.

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
'Is It Me?'
Cancel DSTV. Oops, is the Super Rugby final coming up?

Invite his mom over on boys' night and then bond over his dressed-like-a-cowboy-with-his-little-doodle-showing baby photos all night.

Suggest you dissect his minute-man issues… with a sex therapist.

Dirty-dance with his boss at a work function.

Have an in-depth conversation with a girlfriend, in his presence, about your biological clock or her recurring yeast problem.

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
First Date No Nos: Part 2
I collect Jonas Brothers memorabilia. You're a fan... right?

Now, exactly how schooled are you in the four Cs of diamond classification?

Just so you know I’m not interested in a long-term relationship at the moment. I’m holding out for Robert Pattinson.

OMG, it's the funniest story. I was in bed naked with this guy and his buddy when...

Do you know that you’re starting to develop a bald patch back there?

Tue, 31 May 2011 12:00 +0200
First Date No Nos: Part 1
So, how many kids do you want?

Some people say I remind them of Lindsay Lohan, but that’s probably just because I had a breakdown last year.

You’re not gay? You’re, like, the gayest straight guy I’ve ever met.

I had a very painful childhood. How much time do we have before the movie?

Come on. Are you telling me you’ve never gone through your ex's trash?

Tue, 31 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs He's Not In The Mood
You start to undress seductively and he asks you about the most defining moment of your childhood.

As you're about to get it on, his mom's number pops up on his cell phone - and he actually answers it.

You say you're dying to rip off his clothes… and he asks what the big rush is.

You bring home lingerie, and he says, 'Are you sure purple is really your colour?'

He falls asleep in the middle of a hand job.

Fri, 27 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Ready For The C-Word
All of a sudden, it's come to your attention that your boyfriend has great teeth and skin. Genes are very important, you know.

When the subject of marriage and weddings comes up in conversation, you forget to add the obligatory, 'Um, you know if we ever did…' to the end of each sentence.

You actually take more time getting dressed up for a night out with the girls than you do for a date with him.

He's developed a really great connection with your father, and the two of them communicate via a complex set of manly cricket, rock music and rugby-related standing jokes.

You arrive home sweaty and makeup-free after a hard session at the gym, and he doesn't seem to notice or mind. More importantly, you don't mind either.

Fri, 27 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Energy 101
Before a night out: Hit the gym, even when you think you're tired. Light exercise pumps adrenaline and endorphins.

At the office: Go outside and take some deep breaths. Oxygen activates chemicals in the brain that boost alertness.

Early in the morning: Some coffee will jump-start your morning, but don't exceed three cups of day. More than that will increase your blood pressure and levels of stress hormones.

Mid-afternoon slump: Eat an apple. It's proven to wake you up even more than coffee, as the sugar in apples will give you an instant energy lift.

Hours before bedtime: Phone an up-beat friend: Tiredness can be in your mind. If you talk to someone who is upbeat and bubbly, their energy will rub off on you and you'll hang up feeling revived.

Tue, 24 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Fresh Ways To Unwind Take a Friday Evening Stroll: Instead of flopping onto the couch after a long week of nine-to-five, meet your guy for a pre-dinner walk, whether it's in the park or just a jaunt around your neighbourhood. While the days are still relatively warm, you may even get out of work in time to catch a fab sunset - the perfect way to clear your mind and energise yourself for the weekend.

Act Like a Spoiled Celebutante: Ever wonder what Paris Hilton does on her day off? (Oh wait, that's every day.) Well, take your best pampered-set guess and treat yourself to a totally unscheduled Saturday. Skip all your errands (do them on your lunch hour during the week), send your laundry to the wash-and-fold, and 'forget' to return phone calls and e-mails. Instead, hit the beach, sit at an outdoor café, or indulge in a little retail therapy.

Cosy Up in Scented Sheets: To arise blissfully refreshed on Sunday morning, spritz a calming scent onto your sheets on Saturday night. Not only does green apple smell delish, but it also doubles as a stress reliever, and a fresh lavender fragrance is totally soothing.

Press His Flesh: On Sunday afternoon, try this simple tip to release your guy's tension, courtesy of acupuncturist Gabriel Sher: Sit behind your beau and place your thumbs on top of his shoulder blades, about two inches to the right and left of the base of his neck. Then press down and let up in super slow-mo (five to 10 times), and massage down his trapezius to disperse the energy that was released with the acupressure move.

Host a Take-Out and Eat-In Soiree: Chances are you spent Saturday night discussing your dramatic-enough-to-be-a-reality-TV-show life at a noisy bar (read: not relaxing). To wind down the weekend, invite your crew over on Sunday night for an intimate, no-frills dinner party where you can relax and dish in peace. But since the thought of prepping food for all those people is positively knuckle-biting, take the pressure off yourself. Make your meal entirely take-out, right down to the wine your friend brings.

Thu, 19 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Remodel Your Relationship
Ask him why he needs to see his mates so much when he already has such a strong bond with them. This way you can figure out what he gets from being with them. Then demonstrate the benefits of giving more time to you.

Remember, relationships are about spending quality time together rather quantity. Keep things fresh; it's nice to have quiet nights in, but it’s also important that the two of you share some adventures with each other.

Be clear about your needs and suggest something specific he could do to make you feel special, such as buying your favourite wine. If he knows how to make you happy, you won’t feel frustrated when he fails to pick up on hints.

Understand that he might need more space than you do. Rather than taking this personally, take initiative and make plans with your friends that don't involve him. This way, you maintain a sense of independence while giving him the green light to do his own thing.

Men are action-oriented, so focus more on what he says than what he does. He might not use the kind of flowery, romantic words you like, but he'll show you, in other ways, how much he cares. Pay attention to the gestures – they count for much more in the end.

Fri, 20 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Survive The Five-Year Itch
Embrace Change: Over time, bits of you will evolve. Accepting that change is inevitable makes it easier to be flexible and helps you focus on your shared plans for the future, like starting a family.

Expect The Hard Times: Many couple think, 'If we were right for each other, it wouldn't be this difficult.' But that isn't true. Marriage is like the stock market: dips are normal and it's usually best to ride them out.

Fight Right: It's not what you argue about, but how you argue about it. Avoid name-calling (it's disrespectful), put compromise ahead of the need to be right (harmony outranks 'winning'), be quick to forgive and quicker to say, 'I apologise'.

Remind Yourself Why You Married Him: Remember how your pulse raced the first time you kissed? Calling up first-flush memories during less-than-perfect moments will make you happier.

Cut Him a Bit Of Slack: So, the guy's not perfect - are you? Before you lecture and nag, remind yourself that he probably hasn't changed since you met him. This is who he is, and who he always will be. Make a decision to love him, flaws and all.

Thu, 19 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Working Too Hard: Part 2 Your dog has forgotten who you are.

When someone asks, 'How's Sean?' you automatically think of the accounts guy who has that name. Your boyfriend's called Sean.

You've asked IT to show you how you can access your work e-mails at home.

When the photocopier breaks for the gazillionth time, you don't just sigh. You cry.

You're so absorbed with work that you don't slow down one iota when walking past a shoe-shop window.

Thu, 05 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs You're Working Too Hard: Part 1 The office cleaner knows more about your emotionally tangled love life than your Mom.

You automatically press 0 before dialling out on your home phone.

You wake up in the night to find yourself trying to write a memo with your man's finger.

You find yourself thinking seriously murderous thoughts about the woman walking really slowly in front of you on your way to work.

You've actually used the scummy shower at the office - more than once.

Thu, 05 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Lies He's Probably Telling You: Part 2 'The reason I forgot about drinks with your boss is because I'm so excited about Sunday brunch with your parents.'

'Yeah, I was looking at that girl, but only because of her astonishing resemblance to Nataniël.'

'Of course I can tell the difference between a Merlot and a Bordeaux. Like, duh!'

'After a few minutes or so, porn just gets really monotonous. I mean, I totally tuned out during act one, scene two of Position: Impossible!'

'That's okay, I'm not in the mood either.'

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Lies He's Probably Telling You: Part 1 'No, swear, I only had two beers!'

'It's not that I don't want to watch The Notebook with you. I just don't want you to see me blubbering like a baby.'

'No, I don't mind holding your handbag. It makes me feel useful. Plus, it hangs so comfortably on my shoulder.'

'When I asked you about our anniversary dinner and you said, "Go nuts," I could have sworn you said "Doughnuts." My mistake! Are you gonna eat that chocolate one?'

'It's fine if you kick off your high heels and change into sweats. Comfortable can be sexy. PS: I love your hair in a scrunchie.'

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Friendship Fall-Out
Courtesy is a useful weapon. Greet her, smile and move on. It will make you feel better and, if the friendship ended in her treachery, seeing you rise above it will make her feel worse.

When upsetting gossip reaches you about a friend, always examine the source. Other people can be as jealous of friendships as they are of love. And you owe her the benefit of the doubt.

Gifts are yours and hers for keeps. But when you know a friendship has reached crunch point, return anything you borrowed. If you part in hurt or anger, borrowed goods suddenly become 'stolen'.

The end of a friendship, especially a needy, demanding one, is a good time to change your phone number or e-mail address. New numbers symbolise a clean slate in your own mind and hers.

When a friend has hurt your feelings or offended your boyfriend or someone close to you, tell her off, but give her the chance to apologise and make amends. As long as you have a friend, you are a friend.

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Lust Musts Make Noise
The key to getting what you want in bed is letting your partner know what excites you. Moans and groans are the ultimate affirmation... plus, guys think it's hot.

Flaunt Your Curves
Carnal confidence is sexy, so don't be afraid to work your body. Besides, you can't focus on the good feelings if you're worrying about how you look.

Shed Some Light
Guys get off on visual stimulation, as in he wants to see everything. That's hard to do when it's dark.

Tote The Toys
Never tried the strap-on rabbit? Girlfriend, where have you been? This little critter makes missionary so much more fun for you - which equals so much more fun for him.

Be Hoochie, Mama
Too shy-shy? Men love a sexually confident woman. If his moves are off-key, show him what you want. Go the whole hog... it'll drive him wild.

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Gag-Inducing Love Moves Starting a blog with blow-by-blow accounts of your relationship and Photoshopped pictures of what your children will look like.

Intertwining arms every time you drink champagne… or wine… or even a beer.

Having play fights about who loves each other more... at dinner with friends… using a baby voice.

Buying the smallest dog you can find and saying things like 'Go to Daddy now; Mommy needs to wee.'

Using the phrases 'I am his touchstone,' 'He completes me,' and 'We are one beating heart.'

Fri, 29 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Zip Your Lip Wild-child moments: The time you were wasted and danced topless on the bar? Shhh. 'Be careful of what you reveal regarding your past because it still reflects on you,' says Dana May Casperson, author of Power Etiquette.

Your sex life: 'Divulging dirty details is unprofessional,' adds Casperson. The image of yourself that you want seared into your boss's mind is of you heading up a big project, not you handcuffed to the headboard.

Relationship drama: Even if your manager is sympathetic and offers advice, in the end you're blurring an important line. 'It'll appear as if you can't keep your personal and work lives separate,' notes Casperson.

Off-colour comments: Don't tell a joke or send an e-mail that's sexual or un-PC. 'It's inappropriate and can be considered harassment,' says Casperson.

Dishonesty: It might have happened loooong ago, but telling your boss about the time you lied and got caught out will make her wonder whether you can, in fact, be trusted. Save the story for bar-night with your friends.

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Signs Your Lust Needs Spicing Up New yoga positions get you more excited than making out with your man.

You'd have to put a cheeseburger in your cleavage to get him to look down your shirt.

You mentally construct tomorrow's to-do list while receiving oral sex.

You only have intercourse in the 'spoon' position because you're both too lazy to get on top.

The closest thing you've had to a sexual fantasy involves ginger-oatmeal body scrub.

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Things That (Seriously) Get On His Nerves: Part 2 Subscribing to every bridal magazine published in English – and a few in Afrikaans.

Correcting his slovenly posture by poking him in the lower back with a fork.

Pointing out that his lounge might look better if he moved the Kim Kardashian poster into the cupboard... or the bin.

Ordering your omelette with mixed greens on the side and then helping yourself to the chips he ordered with his burger.

Including all his friends on a group e-mail that has the subject line 'Fwd: Re: Spread the Love!' and contains an inspirational story on friendship followed by instructions to pass it on to 10 more people within 24 hours.

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Things That (Seriously) Get On His Nerves: Part 1 Licking your finger and grooming his eyebrows in public.

Saying his ex, with whom he's still friendly, resembles Pamela Anderson after a breast reduction... and a lobotomy.

While at the same time reminding him that your ex is now a hedge-fund manager with a house in the south of France.

Discussing the size and merits of your girlfriends' rings behind their backs with commentary such as, 'Now, Jeremy really coughed up for Thuli's rock!'

Affectionately mocking him in front of your mutual friends ('Mike gets so annoyed when I criticise his driving, but three traffic fines in four months speaks for itself, right?')

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
The Rules Of Gossip: Part 2 Never break the golden rule of the Girls' Night Out: what's gossiped about on tour stays on tour.

Pick your moments wisely: it's best not to discuss your brother-in-law's stag-night shenanigans loudly in front of your sister, his wife.

If you run out of real people to gossip about, there are always celebs. Or, the latest scandalous plot from your favourite series.

Never tell The Office Gossip anything. Unless it's that your new boss is awesome and you love working late.

Don't assume gossip is bad. How else are you going to find out about your crush's weird habits before you bed him?

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
The Rules Of Gossip: Part 1 Beware! Spill the beans about your ex's banana-yoghurt fetish at a bar and he will be standing right behind you.

99% of gossip sent via SMS accidentally gets to the person it's about. Okay, this may not be true – but it feels true.

Good gossip friends: your mom, your boyfriend, your best friend. Bad gossip friends: the waitress, your boss, you man's mom.

Never gossip in front of children – unless you want your auntie to find out exactly what you think of her floral outfit at the next family gathering.

It's better to give than to receive. Hoovering up other people's indiscretions and then clamming up about your mistakes is not on.

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
DIY Work of Art Choose an existing digital photo or take one especially.

Go to or search on Google to find a local option to suit you.

Following the directions, upload your photo, then select a size and choose a finish (or leave your photo in full colour).

Your custom creation will be ready in about two weeks. Check the site you've chosen for delivery or pick-up options.

Find a good picture-framer in your area and get advice on the colour and style of frame to best complement your handy-work.

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Tips For a 5-Star Blow-Job Be imaginative
Swirl your tongue around the head and put the whole thing in your mouth. If you have a sensitive gag reflex, use your hands to 'shorten' his length.

Go exploring
He gets pleasure from more than just his penis, so let your hair, fingers and nails tickle all round – up to his belly, down to his thighs and around to his bum.

Use visuals
Stick your bum out and lean so that he can see as much of you as possible. Or, spoil him by putting on a naughty DVD. Encourage him to watch while you do your thing.

Wet and wild
Make sure you've got lots of saliva going. If things tend to get a bit dry, add some flavoured lube. A blow-job can never be dry.

Be enthusiastic
For all of the above to work, you have to look like you're enjoying it. If giving head isn't your thing, get off on the fact that you're sexy enough to give him this much pleasure.

Wed, 06 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Why Giddy Does Your Body Good Your complexion: When you're happy, blood vessels in your skin open and give your cheeks a bright, rosy glow.

Your immune system: Positive feelings 'up' the levels of your antibodies. They also boost endorphins, the chemicals that block pain.

Your heart: Laughing lowers your blood pressure while increasing the amount of oxygen carried in your blood.

Your lungs: A deep belly laugh is like an internal aerobic workout, helping you breathe more effectively.

Your anxiety levels: Laughing lowers the level of the stress hormone, cortisol, reducing tension.

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
'I Demand...' (Part 2) If you've both been busy and haven't had sex for, say, a week, he will refrain from announcing to mutual friends that he's 'not getting any.'

When he does something that really upsets you – like forgetting your anniversary – he fully understands that buying back your affection with a ridiculously expensive handbag is absolutely fine with you.

With regard to showering, your man agrees to honour your request – nay, demand – that pubes on the soap are a no-go zone.

Whenever you're telling your friends a funny story that (let's face it) you have embellished a tad, he will simply laugh his arse off and nod in agreement.

He either accepts that Brazilian waxes are only for special occasions, or he has to undergo the 'crack, back and sack' wax at your local salon.

Click here for Part 1.

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
'I Demand...' (Part 1)
He will promise to regard the flush as a non-negotiable closure to toilet use.

When a stunning woman walks by, turning every head on the street, he must look into your eyes and say, 'She's trying way too hard.'

He'll eat every meal you cook for him and after the first bit, enthusiastically declare, 'Wow! This is better than my Mom's!'

When you tell him that you hate Cheryl from work because she once gave you a fleeting funny look (that you totally detected) in a work meeting, he should say, 'Ja, that makes sense...' and wait until he's alone to add '...if you're an insane lunatic.'

He'll stop interpreting your excitement about a friend's being pregnant as meaning that you're hungry for his seed... and about to poke a hole in the condom so you can bear the fruit of his loins.

Click here for Part 2.

Wed, 30 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Easier Said Than Done: Part 2 'That's it. It's over. I'll dump him this weekend!' Why do men start behaving themselves when the relationship axe is about to fall?

'I'm going to leave work on time today.' Even if your boss needs something done urgently? We don't think so.

'The lusty leg lift looks worth a try.' Yes, you'd definitely have him begging for more, but have you ever tried lifting your leg above your head?

'I'm definitely going to gym tonight.' Suddenly, sorting out your sock drawer becomes a national emergency.

'I'll just say I can't go to her wedding.' Think your bridezilla friend won't mind you choosing a holiday over her? Think again.

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Easier Said Than Done: Part 1 'Suntans? They're so bad for you and so last decade!' When the sun eventually comes out after winter, don't tell us you're not rummaging around for your bikini...

'A Ferrero Rocher chocolate? Lovely! Just the one.' Are you kidding? They come in threes. End of story.

'I can stick to only 14 units of alcohol per week – easy!' The recommended level sounds feasible – until you realise a glass of wine is about three units. Nice try.

'This month I'm not going to buy any treats.' Erm... apart from that 'completely essential' party top.

'I'm sure your mom and I will be best friends.' Judging from her icy stare, even 'getting on' is going to be a challenge.

Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Bad Ways To Get Over Him: Part 2 Indulge in retail therapy and buy a dress that's so expensive you have to live without electricity for a month.

Leave him a message to let him know you're so over him. Then, call a dozen more times to re-emphasise that you're so over him so big time and you just wanted him to know for sure.

Rebound with a guy who looks just like your ex – except he's five inches shorter and 50% balder.

Take a break from the tyranny of male standards of beauty by refusing to remove any of your body hair.

Show him you've truly moved on by sleeping with his best friend, his boss and the bartender at his favourite watering hole.

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Bad Ways To Get Over Him: Part 1 Decide to celebrate your new single status with an Under the Tuscan Sun holiday, but due to financial limitations, wind up on a trip that's not filled with amorous foreign men, but kids screaming 'Marco!... Polo!' in your budget-hotel pool.

Wallow in self-pity and listen to every song Chris Isaak has ever written.

Get a cat... then two... then 30.

Donate all the gifts he's ever bought you to a second-hand shop, only to buy them back the next day.

Immerse yourself in new hobbies – drinking, smoking and staying out all night – until you not only forget about him, but also forget you have a job, leading you to show up at work in a cocktail dress and purple, sequinned stilettos.

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
How To Be a Colour Pro There's a reason why every box advises you do the 'strand test' - different hair takes colour differently. Skipping this step could cost you a lot in 'colour rescue' money.

Always rub Vaseline around your hairline to prevent dye stains to your forehead.

If you colour your hair regularly, your ends won't need as much colour as your roots. Apply the product to your roots first then, five minutes before rinsing, brush colour over your ends in order to keep the tone uniform.

If you're going grey prematurely, pick a shade that's one tone lighter than your natural colour. This will turn your grey strands into natural highlights

If you're dark, going one or two shades darker can add depth, but if you're fair, beware – doing a dark rinse on blonde hair often makes it mousey and might not contrast well with your skin tone. Likewise, don't go matte-black – it's dull, lifeless and very 'hard' against the face.

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Is He a Player? When his phone rings and you're with him, he always lets it go to voicemail.

Whenever you spend the night together, he insists on going to your place.

He goes MIA for more than 48 hours at a time – even when he's in town.

He doesn't check his mail when you're around – or clicks the window closed if you walk by.

You have a hunch he's sneaking around – never underestimate female intuition.

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Wardrobe Commandments Last year's Crocs may be comfortable, but who said looking good was pain-free? Even when they were in, they were ugly. Throw them out!

The only function of too-small clothes is to make you feel fat. If something hasn't fitted you in a year, take it to the vintage store.

Fashion is perennial: just because you haven't worn something in a while doesn't mean you should ditch it. Wait a few years, and it'll more than likely come back in style.

Black will never go out of fashion. Team it with huge shades and spiky heels to keep your little black number hot.

You might have no money, but the answer to 'Do I have enough shoes?' is always, always 'No.'

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Issues To Let Slide He's not your type
Still single, right? Maybe it's time to re-assess what you're looking for. Your 'type' might not be that, after all, which is why you still haven't found him.

His outfit is lame
Sometimes, this is where you come in...

You find out he's younger than you
Was that a problem for Demi? If he's mature, interesting and sorted, age is nothing but a number.

You're more successful
Step out of the dark ages, girlfriend. As long as he has goals and ambition, who cares that you have the better job?

He lets you pay half
He's probably trying not to offend you. Offer to get the bill next time so that he's encouraged to get the one after. It's much friendlier, all-round, that way.

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
5 True Beauty Tips From Mom Frowning gives you wrinkles
Recurrent and repetitive facial expressions weaken the skin, and you start to lose collagen and elasticity. Be mindful of things you do that stretch your skin repeatedly.

Don't pick at your cuticles
Cuticles protect the nail as it grows out. If you pick at them, you undermine the protective barrier between the nails and the skin, and this results in uneven growth, dryness and hangnails.

Get your beauty rest
Deep sleep produces a hormone that helps the body repair and regenerate cells which allows your skin to rebound from damaging factors like sun and stress. So, get your zzzz's!

Stand up straight to look taller
Hunching your spine creates a less attractive silhouette, while standing up straight makes you appear taller and slimmer. Try to keep your shoulders rolled back when sitting or standing.

Don't wear too much makeup
Heavy, caked-on makeup and clumpy lashes crowd out your features rather than enhancing them. Instead, look naturally beautiful with a light covering of foundation, a taupe eye shadow, a single coat of mascara and a faint stain of lipstick.

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Danger Phrases: Part 2 'I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Still...'

'This is going to sound crazy, I know...'

'Please don't be furious, but...'

'Heidi on The Hills was actually in a similar situation, and...'

'According to my psychic friend...'

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Danger Phrases: Part 1 'No offence, but...'

'Well, in my expert opinion...'

'He seems like a nice guy, yet...'

'Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I watch Tyra.'

'I had this bizarre dream about your relationship.'

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Ways To Spoil Him Let Him Be a Couch Potato
He's had a long week. Instead of bugging him to take you to The Grand, amaze him by flipping on the Supersport, handing him a cold beer and calling Mr D for Nandos.

Make Him a Manly Meal
Or – if you really want to win Brownie points – cook him Boy Food. Spicy mince with tortillas and guacamole or a big, fat steak sandwich with chips, and you'll be the best thing he's seen all week.

Be Low-Maintenance Sexy
Most of the time he works hard to please you in bed so, just this once, make it all about him. Give him a blowjob without him having to ask. Then, whip off your knickers and hop into his lap for some couch bump-and-grind.

Hang With His Buddies
Resist the urge to channel your inner event-planner. Rather than telling your man where you're going, casually suggest that you hang out with his friends. Then, just as casually, pick his chin up from the floor.

Warm Him Up
Surprise him with coffee, croissants and the newspaper in bed. Then, when he's having his shower, throw a fluffy towel in the tumble-drier so that it's warm and waiting for him when he emerges. It won't harm to be warm and waiting too.

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
When Saying 'I Can't' Is Criminal Accept an invitation from your boyfriend to go to Fiji for seven days – even if you've only known him for two weeks.

Be a bridesmaid at your best friend's wedding, even though you never quite lost the five kilograms you swore you'd shift last year - and you suspect your dress will be monstrous.

Be an extra in Pharrell's new music video, even if you've never danced sober in your life. He might want to give you private lessons – you never know!

Say 'yes' to a great job offer, even if it means learning a whole new range of skills and moving out of your comfort zone.

Sign up for a post-grad degree that your company has offered to fund – even if you think the time would be better spent drinking cocktails with your girlfriends.

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Bad Ideas: Part Two
Go to a restaurant, order a plate of lettuce leaves and then eat all of his chips and half of his burger. If he loves you, he won't mind sharing.

Nickname his member 'The Little Engine That Could'.

Mention your dream house in the suburbs, having three or four kids, and that he'll soon have to think about trading in his Jeep convertible for a station-wagon with a doggy-guard.

Have dinner with your ex and come home with a hickey – on your thigh.

Crash his poker night because you really need a hug.

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Bad Ideas: Part One
Surprise! Spring-clean his flat, throwing out all 'sports paraphernalia clutter' that's taking up what should be your side of the wardrobe. If he's the real deal, he'll be grateful.

Invite him for a romantic picnic at Kirstenbosch gardens on the day of The Game.

Ask to drive his car. Write his car off.

Declare that you're taking a stand against body-hair removal of all kinds.

Nominate him for a makeover where they will style his hair and make him wear pink shirts. Then tell him you love the look and hope he'll keep it for you.

Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Rules of Valentine's Day: Part Two Don't go out for supper on the 14th. It'll cost more, and you'll have to spend the evening listening to other couples arguing.

Do resist the urge to send yourself at card at work addressed to 'the most amazing woman in the world'. Aside from the fact that everyone will recognise your hand-writing, it's just not dignified.

Don't expect a diamond bracelet wrapped up La Senza lingerie. If he arrives with a bunch of carnations from the 24-hour Engen shop, be happy – what counts is that he remembered.

Don't buy your man a teddy-bear holding a satin heart that says, 'I Wuv You' unless you really want to scare him off.

Do think about being the one to propose.

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Valentine's Day Rules: Part One Don't assume that anonymous card is from your mom. But, chances are, it's not from the cute guy in the post room, either.

Do celebrate by wearing your prettiest, most expensive underwear – not for his benefit, but because it'll make you feel sexy.

Don't moan about how commercialised Valentine's Day is. You'll just sound like a loser who didn't get a date.

Do believe that cupid will, eventually, come to the rescue. You're a lot more likely to meet Mr Right at the naff Valentine's club night than at home watching TV.

Don't take out an advert saying, 'To my Snuggly Buggly Boo, from his Honey Lumpkin.' Especially if you haven't made it to the third date yet.

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Digital Romance Have a secret admirer? Grab his attention by sending him flowers from NetFlorist (yes, men like flowers too). Or better still, to really impress, team them up with something yummy to eat – and hope he invites you to share. Perhaps a bottle of champagne, flirty nibbles, a box of chocolates or cute cupcakes, all available through NetGifts.

If the thought of being sans a boyfriend this Valentine's Day makes you cringe, take a risk and sign up for COSMOPOLITAN Online Dating. The stigma of online dating is a thing of the past – if you don't try, you'll never know if your perfect partner is out there. Just remember to always be aware of your safety, says Carolyn Holgate, general manager at MWEB Connect. 'Be careful and conscious of sending personal information, such as photographs and your residential address.'

For those of you who've met your match, there are tons of online shopping options to choose from. At the click of a button you can have the best gifts delivered to your lover's doorstep. Whether you buy the Ashton Kutcher flick, The Killers or Lira's magical Return To Love, you'll find it at

Planning a romantic dinner? You don't even have to leave your screen to buy easy-to-cook gourmet meals, scrumptious desserts and candles online at Woolworths and have it delivered straight to your door. And that goes for sexy lingerie and bath and beauty products too.

If you don't feel like a candlelight dinner and would rather snuggle up in the dark, book your tickets to a rom-com online at Nu Metro or Ster-Kinekor. There's nothing like on-screen love to get you both in the mood...

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Things NEVER To Say To His Mother Part 2 'Obviously, I'd sleep with Brad Pitt. Come to think of it, I wouldn't say no to Angelina either, would you?'

'We should go on a girly shopping trip some time. We need to get you out of those dowdy clothes!'

'I could never go on a reality TV show – I know my ex would sell that home video we made to the newspapers.'

'James has some hilarious clothes – we use that floral shirt as a cleaning cloth. Oh, you bought it?'

'I can only put his tantrums down to being really spoilt as a child.'

Fri, 04 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Things NEVER To Say To His Mother 'I can see where Rob gets his looks from – your husband is hot!'

'Why don't I have a student loan to pay off? I worked as an escort at varsity!'

'Don't worry, I've punched your birthday into my BlackBerry because I know he'll never bother getting you a present'

'Children? Oh my gosh, no! The thought of giving up wine for nine months is completely unbearable.'

'Is it true that when women get older they start growing a moustache?'

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Sunburn Rescue Plan Take Aspirin or Iboprufen
This reduces inflammation which eases the irritation and redness, your body's response to serious burn. But, you have to take them within 24 hours for the redness not to cause serious damage.

Moisturise like mad
Find cream infused with an anti-inflammatory agent such as aloe vera or soy. It will calm the irritation and cool the burn. Or, break an aloe leaf in half and rub the sap over the affected area.

Apply a retinol cream
Sun destroys your skin's collagen, but retinol can up the production of new collagen. After the burn has healed, buy an over-the-counter retinol cream and apply it to the area.

Keep the burn covered
The worst thing you can do is expose sunburnt skin to more sun. If you have to be outdoors, cover up with loose, cotton trousers or long-sleeved shirts in soft, light fabrics.

Exfoliate the area
Once the burn has healed completely, exfoliate with an alpha-hydroxy acid cleanser twice a week for a month. This will stimulate the growth of new, healthy skins cells, and eradicate the dead ones that make your skin blotchy and uneven.

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Bits of 'Mom Advice' You Wish You'd Listened To Got the hiccups? A spoonful of peanut butter will stop them in their tracks.

New nail-polish always chips? Dip your nails in cold water when you've finished painting them to make the polish harden.

Spilt red wine on a white shirt? Pour white wine over the red-wine stain, rinse and machine-wash as normal.

Gum stuck to the seat of your jeans? Put them in the freezer overnight, and the next morning it will peel off easily.

Candles burn down too quickly? Store them in the fridge until just before you use them.

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 12:00 +0200
What a Penis Would Tell You If It Could Talk There are other ways to arouse me that my owner isn't aware of
By gently tapping his penis using your fingertips or against your cheek, you get his spinal impulses firing which leads to increased overall sensation, says sex therapist Lori Buckley.

I can have a full-body erection
The penis wants to be touched last, says erotic massage expert Kenneth Ray. Awaken the rest of his body's nerve sensors first, and after that, whatever happens to the penis is felt everywhere.

Use lube – please!
Penises are programmed to respond to anything that resembles a vagina, says Buckley. Making a hand or a mouth feel like one, with all the added extras a vagina doesn't have, is a penis's idea of heaven.

I'm more sensitive than you think
While penises are game for some rough-and-tumble, the area right under the foreskin is super-sensitive, so be gentle, especially at first. Lose the jerky moves, and please – no teeth!

Don't neglect the other parts of me
Lots of places on the penis are full of nerve endings that get missed during sex. These include the coronal ridge (the underside edge of the head) and the base of the shaft. When you go for these spots, a great many more touch-sensitive nerves are exposed, says clinical urologist Dr Harry Fisch.

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Resolutions To Make (and Break) By February: Part 2 I will tell my hairdresser when I hate my new style. Well, if I moan loudly enough to my friends, I'm sure the news will get back to her.

I will only buy essentials in the January sales. And what girl's wardrobe is complete without a pair of electric blue satin pants?

I will give up chocolate during the week. Or maybe just at weekends. Or perhaps only on days that don't have a 'y' in them.

I will rely on myself, not my boyfriend, for things like DIY and catching spiders. Unless it's hard DIY and the spider is big.

I will read a deep, meaningful, life-improving book every month. COSMO counts, right?

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Resolutions To Make (and Break) By February: Part 1 I will get fit by summer – unless I use my new mini trampoline once, decide my knees feel 'funny' and never use it again.

I will phone my parents every week. And yes, if I happen to call when I know they're out, and just leave message, it still counts.

I will buy only classic fashion items that will last forever. YDE and Mr Price count as classic, right?

I will not drink and dial. And I'll really, really stick to it – until I've had a couple more glasses of wine.

I will dress smartly for work. Unless I nearly pass out trying to suck in that post-Christmas tummy to squeeze into my pencil skirt. In which case, jeans are fine.

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 12:00 +0200
5 Clues It's Time For a New Do You've had the same style for more than two years.

Your hairdresser greets you with, 'the usual?'

You wear your hair up every day.

You can't remember when last someone complimented on your hairstyle.

If you don't take 20 minutes to style your hair in the morning it looks horrible all day.

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Ways To Get Over Him Don't try to get over him
You know the old saying that time is a healer? Grief and loss are processes which have to run their course. Allow yourself to feel pain, and accept that you can't get to the other side of it unless you go through it.

See him in perspective
When he doesn't want you anymore, it's normal to put him on a pedestal. Write a list of all the things you didn't like about him – he never got on with your sister; he had sweaty pits – and use it remind yourself that he wasn't perfect after all.

Don't overdo the alone-time
Spending time by yourself with a box of tissues and a bottle of Chenin is fine, but a bit of distraction and doing fun things again will remind you that there is life after Him. Choose friends who uplift you and make you laugh.

Do all the things he hated
He couldn't bear the mall? Get shopping. Hated sushi? Take a girlfriend for all-you-can-eat Japanese. Doing things you couldn't do with him puts psychological distance between you, and bolsters your sense of individuality.

Resist the temptation to know what he's doing
Twitter and Facebook? Unfollow and defriend. You will not be able to resist the temptation of seeing what he's up to, and you're just going to torment yourself. Why put yourself through that pain? He's moved on with his life. Try to do the same.

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Surprising Weight-Loss Tips Stay Asleep Longer
Going to bed just half an hour earlier and waking up half an hour later will result in your body burning more calories, and help you make smarter food choices, say researchers.

Phone a friend
Next time you get fixated with a certain food, reach for your cell and let a friend distract you. Research shows that cravings only last about five minutes. By the time you hang up, the urge will have subsided.

Pig out (on healthy things) at breakfast
You're much more likely to have a healthy lunch if you fill up on the right balance of carbs, protein and fat at breakfast. Enjoy an egg-white omelette, low-fat bacon and whole-wheat toast, and you'll keep your taste-buds satisfied and your blood-sugar levels stable.

Turn off the TV
When you eat in front of the TV, you take in 40% more calories than usual, a new study reports. This also goes for texting, driving or any other distracting activity. Instead of eating dinner standing in front of the fridge, put everything on a plate and sit down at the table.

Eat Between Meals
When you let yourself get too hungry, you're more inclined to binge. Just remember to snack on the right things – a piece of cheese, a tablespoon of peanut-butter and an apple or a few pieces of lean biltong will eradicate the pangs and keep you fuller for longer.

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Ways To Make Colour Work For You Shocking Pink
A stimulant which raises blood pressure and is inviting, stimulating and energising – wear it when you want sexual attention.

Bright Yellow
A mood-boosting, happy shade that facilitates communication. Wear it when you need to be understood.

Deep Purple
A captivating, romantic shade. Wear it when you'd like to appear enigmatic and mysterious.

Dark Green
Makes you appear confident, secure and self-assured. Wear it when you want to be to be seen as capable and in control.

Bright Indigo
Corresponds to compassion and understanding. Wear it if you've messed up and hope to be forgiven.

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Hangover Cures Of The Stars Colin Farrell: water and a huge fry-up.

Russell Crowe: a simple tequila on the rocks.

Christina Aguilera: sleep and a glass of fruit juice.

Cameron Diaz: A McDonald's Egg McMuffin and a beer.

Kate Hudson: Tomato juice and a avocado.

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Ways To Survive Family Madness You don't have to attend every single gathering
You can't escape the big events, but it's totally acceptable to draw the line somewhere. If your mother has arranged afternoon tea with your senile great-aunt, just say no

Have a mental cut-off time
Everyone can endure a few hours of torture. Decide, beforehand, how much of your tribe you can handle and when your time is up, politely but firmly explain that you have to go

Let him do his thing and you do yours
If you find your family overwhelming, his is probably insufferable, and there's no reason you have to tag along to each boring braai. This is a good time to give each other space to fulfil family commitments

Make time for each other
Don't let the holidays be so hectic that you end up stressed, exhausted and fighting. Make small dates with each other to compare mad family notes, let off steam and stay connected

Go with the flow
You can't stop your Uncle from getting drunk and saying stupid things, so try not to take it on. Focus on the people you enjoy, the good food and the merriness of the season and let the rest go over your head.

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Don't Forget The Basics! The military look is still super-hot, but mix it up – the contrast of teaming a military jacket with a stringy, crocheted top or floral dress looks fresh and funky

Lace never dies, especially in summer where the focus is on looking pretty and staying cool. Don't overdo the girly look, though – wear it over leather or denim for feminine- with-an-edge

Sporty chic rocks this season, and makes for comfy, sexy street-wear. Wear layered vests with denim shorts and a pair of wedges for a hot, day-becomes-night ensemble

Shorts are super-hot, but don't make the mistake of showing too much skin – sexy fast becomes skanky. Team your cute cut-offs with a loose shirt, peasant blouse or a floppy tee

Serious heels are in, but strappy flats can be just as sexy and gives long, flowing dress an understated elegance.

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
The Top 5 CV Glitches You've never held onto a job for longer than 3 months
Explain that you chose to gain experience in different fields while looking for your ideal career, but now you're ready to settle down

You've been in the same job for your entire career
While it's rare to stay in the same job for a lifetime, it can show that you're loyal and fitted in well with your team

There are unexplained gaps in your employment history
Time off doesn't mean you're not gaining valuable experience. If you took a gap year say, 'I lived and worked abroad,' and focus on how you learnt about different cultures

You had to leave your last job
If you were made redundant, emphasise the fact that it's the job that's redundant – not you! If you were fired, only reveal that if asked why you left your previous job.

You lack relevant experience
It doesn't matter how you acquired skills, as long as you acquired them. If your sole experience is shelf-stacking, you've still demonstrated that you have discipline and a work ethic.

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Crazy Celeb Beauty Secrets Puffy face?
Throw a sheet of foil into the freezer until it's super-cold, then poke a hole for your mouth so you can breathe, and press it tight over the contours over your face. Britney's best-kept secret!

Stained nails?
Drop a tablet of fizzy denture cleaner into a bowl of warm water and soak your nails until it stops fizzing – it will get rid of stains caused by wearing dark polish, claims Hilary Swank.

Dark hair looking drab?
Save money on a rinse by brewing a super-strong cup of black coffee or espresso. Once it cools, pour it over dry hair while standing in the shower and leave on for 10 minutes for a deeper base colour, suggests Angela Cosmai, stylist to Michelle Williams.

Oily T-panel?
Going to somewhere special and you don't want a shiny nose? Lightly rub your fingers over a deodorant stick and then dab them on oil-prone zones so you stay matte for longer, says makeup artist-to-the stars Karan Mitchell.

Rinse too dark?
If you went just a little too dark with your colour, add a few drops of dish-washing liquid to your shampoo bottle and shake it up. The detergents will help lift your colour a shade or two, recommends Angela Cosmai.

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Reasons Why He Didn't Call You drank too much
It's tempting to kill first-date nerves by downing a bottle of Chardonnay, but there are few things less attractive than a slurring, fumbling date with smudged mascara. Limit yourself!

You revealed too much
Not cleavage, but baggage – don't go on about your bastard ex, your crazy mother or the sister you'd like to murder. You ruin the mystery for him, and it's just not sexy.

You came on too strong
Call it animal instinct, but there is a basic need in men to chase the woman they desire. As much as he might like you, smothering him with affection will make him back off. Play it cool if it kills you and let him take the lead.

You slept with him on the first date
It shouldn't be this way, but it is. Men want to know that you're special, and don't give it up for just anyone. Shag him right away and he'll immediately wonder how many notches you have on your bedpost. If you like him, wait.

He just wasn't that into you
Love is about chemistry and the harsh reality is that, even if you follow all the rules, you might not do it for him the way he does it for you. Don't take it personally – there is someone else out there who will love you just the way you are.
Thu, 09 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Sexy Love Bites: How To: Enjoy sex for longer and slow both of your orgasms?
Keep switching positions until you're both ready for the ultimate explosion

Not get jaw-ache when you're giving him a blow-job?
Take it slowly, and stop every few minutes. While you're giving your jaw a break, use your tongue instead.

Make your orgasm more intense?
Keep your body relaxed by taking long, deep breaths.

Let him know you like what he's doing during oral sex?
Grind your hips and groan

Avoid embarrassing fanny farts?
Keep your legs close together. The wider they are, the more air will get in – and have to get out!

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Reasons to Dump a Friend She flirts with your man
Not okay – it's great if your friends and your boyfriend get along, but if she makes it obvious that she finds him attractive and would like him for herself, she's got to go.

She's jealous of you
It's fine if she openly envies your job or your looks, but when deep-seated jealousy is an issue, watch your back – she'll be thrilled when life throws you curve-balls.

She's two-faced
Everyone's entitled to a bit of harmless gossip, but if she's saccharine to your face while saying nasty things behind your back, she's not to be trusted.

She undermines you
Real friends are supportive and loving. If, every time you've been in the company of this person you feel bad about yourself, something is wrong. Toxic people are so full of self-loathing, they make themselves feel better by transferring it onto you.

She's unreliable
We're all guilty of being a little flaky from time to time, but you should be able to rely on your friends, especially in times of need. If she lets you down repeatedly, give her a warning. If it still happens, she's not worth the effort.

Mon, 06 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Relationship Risks That'll Make Him More In Love Cut the calls
While women have no problem being in constant contact, men can find continuous phone-calls, mails and smses claustrophobia-inducing. Next time you're tempted to let him know your every thought, stop – phone a friend instead.

Don't always be available
When you drop everything to make your life centre around your new man, you make it difficult for him to do things that don't include you – not healthy! Make dates with friends and have a life apart from him – a bit of space for both of you keeps things fresh and fun.

Disagree with him
You might think he likes it when you agree, but most men find strong, independent women with minds of their own very sexy. Men connect through verbal banter, and find women who can challenge them very attractive. Voice your opinions, and you'll win his respect and admiration.

Bring up relationship issues
Yes, men hate the phrase, 'we need to talk,' but what freaks them out even more is when you suddenly go psycho from built-up frustration. Instead of letting things reach this point, learn to communicate clearly and calmly about the things that are bugging you. This way, his inability to change the loo-roll won't become the reason you break up.

Cuddle him (nearly) to death
Contrary to what you might think, men are big suckers for being molly-coddled – it makes him feel safe, special and loved. Holding back and hiding your feelings can back-fire in a big way if it makes him think you're not interested. Showing some love with always make him feel comfortable opening up to you – a win-win situation.

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Ways to be HIV-savvy Paint the town (or just yourself) red
Wear red clothes, shoes or a red ribbon on your lapel to announce your awareness of the seriousness of HIV/AIDS.

Know your status
We're not talking about Facebook – if you've had unprotected sex (even once) get tested today, and encourage your friends to do the same. Clinics and pharmacies all over this country offer this test free-of-charge, so you really have no excuse.

Watch the alcohol
Alcohol is a contributor to the spread of HIV because it lowers inhibitions, making you much more likely to have unprotected sex. Be smart – say no to that shooter.

Make condoms fun
They don't have to be boring – choose flavoured ones for sweet-tasting blowjobs, or buy them studded for extra pleasure. Don't rely on him – always carry one in your bag.

Play the game
The Avert AIDS game is a really fun way to see how much you know about HIV and AIDS, so next time the Pictionary board comes out, beat your friends at this game instead. The more you play, the more you'll learn.

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Is He Cheating? He hates handing you his cell-phone
Your battery's dead and you promised to phone a friend, but he's hesitant to lend you his phone. The only reason can be that it contains a text message, a picture or a number he'd rather keep hidden.

He messes up an important detail
If he's seeing two girls at the same time, it can be difficult to remember who's who. If he asks you about your sister when you've told him you have two brothers, be warned – he should be able to keep track of the details of your life.

He puts on clean linen every time you stay
Sure, he wants to create a good impression in the beginning, but as time passes, this kind of scrupulous attention to hygiene can be a signal that something is off. Men are seldom that particular about having clean sheets – unless the old sheets contain something he doesn't want you to see.

He never calls you by your name
'Baby' is nice – but not when he's calling you that to avoid using the wrong name at the wrong moment. Catch him off-guard, like when you're making love, and ask him to say your name. If he hesitates while he tries to remember, be warned.

He dresses up to go 'meet the boys.'
Most men hate wearing aftershave, and only do it to please us women. If he shaves, applies
cologne and puts on his best shirt to meet his buddies for a beer, he's not meeting his buddies for a beer. Or he is, but there's going to be a girl there that he's trying to impress.

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Rules Every Single Girl Should Know The world is full of opportunities

He doesn't have to be The One

Decent single men do exist

Don't settle for Mr Rebound

You'll never find him if you look too hard

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Hold-You-Back Habits Being part of the furniture
Don't believe that by staying invisible and doing your quietly and efficiently will automatically get you to where you want to be. In order to be seen as ambitious, you need to manage your career, and this means being proactive about taking on new roles.

Keeping your opinions to yourself
In order to gain respect in the workplace, you need to speak up about what you think. Sometimes, this means acting confident even when you don't really feel it. When you make a point, do it with conviction – and make sure you've done your homework beforehand so that you know your facts!

Carrying Negative Baggage
If you've had a bad experience at work previously, whether it was about being overloaded or overlooked, don't let this affect your attitude in a new job. Take some time to think about what went wrong, assume a fair amount of responsibility and then move on. That situation was unique – use it as a learning experience.

Avoiding tasks you should be tackling can induce even more stress than if you just got on with it. If you want to move forward with a clear focus, you need to deal with the jobs you don't like and get them out of the way so that you can focus your energy on excelling at the parts of your job you love.

Leaving your ego at the door
People who are successful believe that they're the best, and the workplace is not the time to practice false modesty. It's a psychological truism that people believe what you tell them. Speak up about what you do well, and you'll be seen as competent. Play down your abilities, and you'll be perceived as lacking.

Wed, 24 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
5 Pieces of Silly Diet Advice Drink eight glasses of water a day
There is no scientific evidence to support this. In fact, overdoing the H2O just makes your kidneys work harder to excrete it. Instead, look at your urine – if it's darker than champagne, you need to drink more. Also, up your intake if you're exercising, hungover or eating lots of sugary foods.

Eating after 8pm makes you fat
Calories are calories, no matter what time of day you eat them, and the only way to lose weight is by taking in energy less than you expend. If you're a big late-night snacker, stopping eating after dinner will make you lose weight – but only because you're reducing your overall calorie intake.

Cutting out carbs will make you skinny
Yes, they're a high energy source, but cutting all carbs means you reduce your fibre intake (a very important part of being regular), and starve your brain of the sugars it needs to function optimally. Make the carbs in your diet healthy ones, but don't cut them out completely.

You can eat as much protein as you like because it doesn't convert to fat
Think that huge t-bone is okay as long as you skip the chips? Wrong! Any piece of meat you eat that's bigger than the size of your palm will be converted into calories. You're better off eating a small piece of meat with half a baked potato and a big serving of salad.

Cutting out all fat will make you lose weight the fastest
In fact, your body needs fat to metabolise fat. Studies prove that women who include a small amount of fat in their diets actually lose more weight than those who cut it out completely. Choose avocado oil, olive oil and oil from nuts and seeds.

Mon, 22 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Reasons Why It's Great To Be a Woman Women's brains are designed to handle information from both the left and the right sides, while men can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Now you know why he holds his breath when he reverse-parks.

We're better at communicating our feelings, which means we develop deeper and more meaningful relationships with our friends and find friendship more rewarding, as a result.

Fat days can be compensated for with a good blow-dry, a Wonderbra and a pair of heels. All he can do is pull in his stomach.

We're able to wee without spilling a drop or having our 'bits' appraised, while he has to aim – and be scrutinised while he does it.

Our higher body-fat ratio means we get tipsy quicker and for less money – saving our cocktail-budget for that gotta-have pair of shoes. He needs more, spends more - and is worse off the next morning!

Fri, 19 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
The New Pleasure Zones Belly button. Being touched here makes you feel emotionally vulnerable, so incorporating this area it into your lovemaking will increase intimacy between you and your partner

Armpits. The smell of your pheromones drives him wild, so encourage him to touch and caress you under your arms, travelling down to your breasts.

Hips. The skin at the front of the hips is thin and, therefore, very sensitive. When he strokes them on the way down, it emphasizes your feminine shape – very sexy for both of you.

Palms. The hands and inner wrists are packed with blood vessels, making them hot erogenous zones. When you place your hands palm-to-palm during sex it connects you emotionally, and makes you both feel more loving.

Nose. Sounds weird, but it isn't! Our outer nostrils are super-sensitive, so start by rubbing the side of your nose along the underside of his cheek, inhaling the arousing hormones men secrete from their necks – you'll get very turned on.

Thu, 04 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Working with Women Fit in. Women place a lot of importance on getting along with each other at work, so it's important that you show you're able to fit it socially. Being part of a team is just as important as having a great CV.

Don't Bitch. Not only is it unprofessional, but you'll come across as two-faced - and rapidly lose the trust of your co-workers.

Work Hard. There's nothing like putting in the extra effort for your team to foster a sense of camaraderie and win the respect of your boss.

Forget Flirting. When Andre from accounts passes by, resist the urge to flutter your eyelashes. This kind of behaviour promotes sexism in the workplace and is very unsisterly

Keep your personal problems out of the workplace. Everyone has problems and gets emotional from time to time, and while it's tempting to bare all to your sympathetic band of fellow workers, resist the urge and keep your work and private life separate.

Thu, 04 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Rules for First Dates Do play it cool – gushing about how perfectly suited you are to each other when you barely know him will make you appear desperate – and make him wonder what's wrong with you!

Don't talk about your ex – tempting as it might be to say, "Rob loved this restaurant!", what this communicates, loud and clear, is that you're not over the relationship – enough to send any new guy packing.

Do look your best, but don't mention how many hours of primping, plucking and blow-drying were involved. At least in the beginning, maintain the illusion that it's just lucky genes that have you looking this great.

Don't tell lies to make yourself seem more accomplished. Great as it would be to confess that you're a closet concert pianist, the truth will come out – with embarrassing consequences!

Do remember that sex on the first date is a no-no – but that's no reason to wear granny-broeks and not shave your legs – you still want to feel sexy, and be prepared should a testing-the-waters snog end up on the agenda.

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Hot Tamale!   Don't thank him after sex even if you are really, really grateful.

  Don't keep pinching yourself to check if he's for real. Bruises are never a good look.

  Do resist bragging about how great he is. Unless people ask, of course.

  Encourage him to take up DIY. Hot, sweaty, shirtless and handy! It doesn't really get any better.

  Don't tell him on your first date you hope your kids will have his looks. Well, not if you'd like to get a second date.

Fri, 29 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Fashion Fatigue   Be realistic accessories can update an outfit, not give you a new body.

  Don't forget that black never goes out of fashion. Huge shades, spiky heels, and voils, you're Victoria Beckham!

  You have two feet and no money, but the answer to 'Do I have too many shoes?' is always 'No'.

  Buttons and ribbons can transform your clothes from 'eek' to 'chic' in an instant.

  If you throw a clothes-swapping party, be generous. Your friends don't want your sweat-stained tees any more than you do.

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Sex Moves   Put a small mirror out to the side, parallel, to his body, while you're going down on him believe us, he'll enjoy watching you.

  Buy a small, bullet-shaped vibrator that has a remote. Hold it over your clitoris and hand him the controls. You'll both enjoy playing around.

  Challenge yourself to have sex every day for a month. Frequent encounters help to rev up your libido, culminating in a big domin-O effect with each session.

  Trade bum-cheek massages, using firm, slow, kneading motions to stimulate those surprisingly sensitive gluteus muscles.

  Challenge him to turn you on using one finger on less obvious spots, like behind your knees and the nape of your neck.

Wed, 27 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Hot Advice   Start using the cupboard under the sink to store essential household items. Then ask him to get them for you. Hello, cute bum!

  Have sex with the lights on. Yes, seeing is believing!

  Don't go shopping with him. After you've tried on 20 bad outfits, you don't need to know that he looks great in a bin liner.

  Don't go clubbing with him. Finding out Mr Sex-On-Legs has two left feet is the quickest way to dampen your ardour.

  Let your friends flirt with him. You're the one who's bagged him and you've given hope to single girls everywhere.

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Spring Cleaning   Those crocs might be comfortable but who said fashion was pain-free? Put them away and fish out your platforms instead.

  The only function of too-small clothes is to lurk cruelly int he back of your wardrobe making you feel bad. Ditch the now!

  Resist shrieking 'I've gone blind!' when your mother offers you her neon-pink '70s Lycra hot pants. What goes around, comes around...

  If your grandmother owns a sewing machine, remember she might actually enjoy altering your clothes.

  Turn your old jeans into funky cut-offs, but don't overdo it. Denim undies have never looked good.

Mon, 25 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Don't SMS Him!   After your first few dates. Resist the urge to contact him immediately after a date.

  When you're drunk.

  When you're angry.

  When you're trying to be funny. You can't always read tone in nonverbal communication.

  When you've already SMSed him that day.

Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Life's Morsels   Nothing is meant to be. It just is. Sometimes you can influence the way things turn out, and sometimes you can't.

  People who are mean are usually very sad inside.

  Any decision you make motivated by positivity will generally be good.

  Most of the people who make the most valuable contributions to the welfare of the world don't care about fashion, celebrities or weight.

  Help others. You never know when you might be the person who needs help in return.

Wed, 20 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Single Girl Rules   Buying a home, if you can afford one.

  Finding your A-spot. It's located above the G-spot, and some women report having orgasms when it's touched. It'd be criminal to miss that!

  Getting a dog. It's a kick to be the object of a creature's obsession 24/7. Oh, and if you're looking, dogs are guys magnets.

  Treating yourself to a bra-and-underwear set. Knowing how sexy you are beneath your clothes will make you feel a little... stimulated.

  Moving across the country. Hey, you won't have to take into account a boyfriend's job status, living preferences, etc.

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Let's Get Naked Together   Put on a fashion show. Tell him you want his opinion on a pair of shoes you just bought. He'll roll his eyes - until he sees that you're wearing only the shoes.

  Play Wii. The vision of your guy trying to bowl a strike without pants on will have you giggling for months... and he'll love watching you play tennis.

  Take a mid-afternoon nap. Wrap a blanket tightly around your intertwined bodies.

  Video chat with each other with a service like Skype... but let him see you only from the collarbone up. The suggestion of nudity can be even sexier than showing all.

  Do karaoke. is free and will turn your laptop into a singing machine. Your guy should definitely belt out 'Single Ladies' naked.

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Let's Get Naked Alone   Do your makeup sans clothing before a night out. Not only will it help you get in a sexy mood, but you also won't have to worry about spilling powder on your dress.

  Clean your wardrobe. If you're nude, you can easily try on clothes to see if they should in either the toss or keep pile.

  Write your guys lust letter. Be sure to let him know you're naked as you write it. (Clothing is optional when you deliver it.)

  Cook a fancy dinner. When it's ready, pour some wine, light some candles and strip down.

  Pay your bills. Somehow, writing checking and paying beneficiaries feels less painful when you're wearing nothing.

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Real Life   Do whatever you can to finish your studies - whether it's a degree, diploma or course. Education should be a non-negotiable in your life.

  The R20 000 credit you have on your card belongs to the bank, not to you.

  Thirty-three is a good time to start thinking about babies. It can be too late.

  It's not how long you will live, but how healthily. Bad habits you can probably get away with now could make for a vulnerable and unhealthy old age.

  If you have a home and a job, you're luckier than most - but that doesn't mean you can't aim for more.

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Safe Sun   Keep SPF-infused moisturiser outside your shower. Having it right there in your shower caddy or medicine cabinet means you can easily put it on after drying off, giving you a base coat of sun protection without having to think about it.

  Picture your skin 10 years from now. Next time you're tempted to blow off the SPF or hit the beach without a hat, conjure up a mental image of your face with visible sun damage.

  Work in regular skin checks with your dermatologist.

  Be careful if you're on the pill. The hormones in oral contraceptives can sometimes trigger blotchy patches of dark skin on your face.

  Stock up on sunglasses. Wearing them whenever you're outdoors will safeguard the tender, quick-to-burn skin around your eyes.

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Sorry What? (Part 3)   Being inexperienced. That doesn't mean you lack great ideas. So stop prefacing them with 'This is dumb, but...'

  Hoping your children will be cuter than your friends'. Honestly, your friends are hoping the same thing.

  Sticking to a budget. If your friend doesn't get that you can't afford to fly to her bachelorette party, wedding, and three showers, you're not the greedy bitch here.

  Only doing things online that you'd do in real life. Doesn't matter if winking is a dating-site norm.

  Being happy. Times suck, you get it. But you love your job or have found The One, relish it while it's yours.

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Sorry What? (Part 2)   Really wanting a boyfriend. It's taboo for strong women to admit this, but so is not going after what you truly desire.

  Being a self-promoter. Trumpet a career coup in your Facebook status, because there's no glory in tiptoeing to the top.

  Investing in your looks. It's about feeling confident, not about doing yourself up to land a man. And it makes facials, the gym and a hot LBD worth every cent.

  Having a high 'number'. Let's quit the slut shaming and start honouring those bed skills that curl your man's toes.

  Changing your mind. You were vegan, but then you ate chevre. Call it a religious conversion, not a silly phase.

Tue, 21 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Sorry What? (Part 1)   Ordering a real dessert. You don't work your ass off on the stair-climber just to settle for pansy low-cal sorbet.

  Someone else's bad day. A friends snaps at you and you're expected to say sorry? Exactly where is the logic in that?

  Ditching a bad lover. Look, sex is important. If you've given him a fair shot at pleasing you, free the man.

  Having a crazy family. Give your guy a heads-up about them, but never insinuate that their problems taint you.

  Buying into your horoscope. Like news blogs, it helps you see the world a bit differently. It also confirms you (a Leo) were right for leaving your ex (a Taurus).

Come back tomorrow for more times it's better to be bitchy.

Mon, 20 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Rock a Dinner Party   Look glamorous. Better to overdress than be too casual - it shows you put in effort.

  Arrive no more than 15 minutes late. Call or SMS if you're running late.

  Bring the right gift. Ideas: a bottle of nice olive oil, a book, champagne. Avoid anything that takes work, like flowers that need to be put in a vase.

  Branch out. Aim to talk to everyone there at some point during the evening. A good opening question is 'How do you know the hostess?'

  Offer to help. Be proactive - say, 'Let me pour the wine.' If she gives you the go-ahead take charge of filling glasses.

Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
In Between Boyfriends   Take a trip alone (or go with a friend but spend some time separately). Exploring exotic terrain on your own gives you a real in-the-moment high.

  Pack in those plans guys often tend to roll their eyes about: art galleries, plays, poetry readings.

  Use the money that would've gone toward a boyfriend's birthday present for a deep-tissue massage.

  Get at least three guys to ask for your number in the same day.

  Throw a casual weekly cocktail party, each time inviting a different mix of friends, co-workers and new acquaintances.

Thu, 16 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
This Month's Issue - October 2010   It's our first 3D cover, and we've got South Africa's bubbliest personality as our cover girl.

  You can be a calendar girl with our 2010 ZEST supplement.

  You'll receive 30% off your next Triumph Maximizer bra at Edgars stores.

  Find out which hottie has won our Six-Pack of the Year Award.

  We're giving one COSMO reader the chance to win a celebrity-styled weekend - enter the competition and it could be you!

Wed, 15 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Moving In Part 2   He'll discover how many handbags and shoes you really own and use this against you every time you complain about being broke.

  The phrase, 'What have you done with my soccer shirt?' will become commonplace - like he thinks you maliciously hide his property.

  SuperSport is his evil mistress. Don't let her in.

  Male hygiene law #35: foodstuffs don't get thrown out, unless they're so biologically advanced they can open the fridge door and walk out themselves.

  Don't look under his side of the mattress. Just don't.

Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Moving In   He owns a nasal-hair trimmer, which he never cleans. It will now live next to your luxury body lotion. And he'll never understand why this may be an issue.

  When you're out, he'll eat the oddest combinations. Sweet and sour mince, anyone? With spaghetti hoops? Jamie Oliver would be proud.

  Air freshener is essential for retaining that 'I still fancy him' vibe. Give him his own personal can and make sure you show him how to use it.

  He'll leave you alone with his mobile phone. Often. Prepare to sit on your hands to curb your urge to snoop.

  That gorgeous ornamental bowl you spent a fortune on and absolutely love? He will try to fill it with chips.

Fri, 10 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Ladies' Night Out   Eat a good meal before you head out, just like your mother always told you. And no, chips and a cheese burger pie at 3am do not count.

  Don't feel guilty about wearing the first outfit you tried on, even if your room now resembles a place clothes go to die.

  Wear your sexiest heels. Driving home barefoot at the end of the night is a small price to pay for feeling fabulous.

  Don't wear white underwear if you're going to a club with ultraviolet lighting. There's nothing like an illuminated crotch to spoil your night.

  Apply lipstain, not gloss, if you're feeling seductive. Men just can't stand kissing stick lips. Wimps.

Thu, 09 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Wax On   Don't turn up in your sexiest, laciest thong (unless of course your waxer is male and gorgeous... but what are the chances?).

  Don't opt for a Brazilian if you're prone to shyness. Kneeling on a table, naked from the waist down, is neither fun nor dignified.

  Experiment with down-there styles. You might like a short back and sides, a full-on Hollywood (yep, that's completely bald) or even stick-on jewels.

  Don't feel silly for keeping your socks on. Yes, you look weird, but there's no point suffering cold toes as well as a painful crotch!

  Don't strike up a conversation with the poor waxing lady about the last time you found yourself on all fours. Too much information.

Wed, 08 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Golden Rules of Cool   Retain an air of mystery about your job. 'I'm in finance, but can't really talk about it', sounds better than I work at KPMG.

  Keep your diet to yourself. Looking good is cool; going on about all the calories you're consuming on a night out isn't.

  Don't act the ice queen. In movies it might be sexy, but in real life, everyone will think you're being moody and avoid you.

  Take airport delays in your stride. Tutting, 'This same thing happened at Heathrow last week', is far cooler than sulking.

  Choose your Facebook groups carefully. It's not cool to join a group that screams 'Look at me and see how cool I am cos I'm this really cool group'.

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Holiday Break   You finally took the tags off the expensive luggage your parents gave you... because your washing machine broke and you used it to haul your laundry to your boyfriend's.

  As he's being escorted from the building, the finance guy with quadruplets who just got fired goes, 'Wow, you look stressed.'

  When a friend says she's travelling to an exotic place with umbrella drinks, you say, 'You mean the TGI Friday's across town?!'

  The last time you were on an airplane, comedy sensation Ace Ventura: Pet Detective was the in-flight entertainment.

  The other night, when your boyfriend nudged you and asked if you wanted to get it on, you grabbed your Blackberry and said, 'How's Tuesday at 8.15pm?'

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
The Art of Flirting   During a free session you get with your gym membership, tell your personal trainer that the exercises you'd most want to focus on are Kegel exercises.

  While chatting up the guys playing soccer in the park, stick around even after they say it's a high-school team practice.

  As an icebreaker, take a guy's hand, plant it on your chest, and ask him to guess whether or not you're wearing a water bra.

  Taking a cue from the days of playground courtship, walk up to the yummy specimen at the bar and kick him hard in the shins.

  Scan in pictures of you and your crush, and present him with a photo morph showing what your future kid would look like.

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Dumb and Dumber   Make a few edits on tomorrow's presentation.

  Allow photos of any sort to be taken of you. They will end up on the Internet.

  Operate heavy machinery, karaoke machines.

  Jump onto the bar and show Christina Aguilera how it's really done.

  Tweeze your eyebrows.

Thu, 02 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
No More Rampant Rabbit   When the lift at work shows no signs of arriving, he gently pushes the button once instead of impatiently jabbing it 15 times.

  He doesn’t own satin sheets, a Barry White CD or have one scented candle in his bedroom.

  The only negative point mentioned in his last work appraisal was that he spent ‘too long catering to his colleagues’ needs’.

  He has a great sense of direction.

  When you go out for dinner, he eats his food nice and slowly, rather than shovelling it in like the waiter’s about to steal his plate.

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Pillow Talk   So, I was talking to your mom last night

  I do think your friend James is attractive. I mean, hes not as hot as your boss, but I still dont understand why hes single.

  How many kids did you say you wanted again?

  I read this interesting story in the paper today about how premature ejaculation is a common problem tor twenty-something men.

  I havent washed these sheets since October. Grey really hides the dirt, doesnt it?

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
More Guilty Pleasures   Laughing at bad adverts.

  Tucking your pyjama bottoms into your socks in bed. Snuggly is the new sexy, OK?

  Jerry Springer he may not be as glamorous as Desperate Housewives but the plots are just as diabolical.

  'All you can eat' buffets. Value for money never tasted so, well, greasy.

  Unnecessary movie sequels: Grease 2, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, Miss Congeniality 2, American Pie 2. You know you shouldnt rent them, but you do.

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Guilty Pleasures   Crying at Titanic the old couple in their bed! The captain deciding to drown! Leo slipping off that raft! As long as you never do so on a first date.

  Really enjoying a totally trashy book. It wont make you better at crosswords but it will make you feel like a genius because youve read a whole novel in one sitting.

  Eating gherkins from the jar. If its good enough for Bridget Jones, its good enough for us.

  Getting excited about the Take That reunion. Who knew you'd get a chance to see Mark, Howard, Gary and Jason without your parents driving you to the concert and back?

  Googling men. Its not a waste of work time, its essential research.

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Mum's The Word   "Are you eating properly?" What she really means: Come home at the weekend and I'II bake you a cake. A big, chocolate fudge one.

  "I haven't spoken to you all week; I was worried!" What she really means: Unless you were stuck under a rock, I want a very good explanation as to why you haven't called.

  "What's that noise? Are you in the pub again?" What she really means: I have the number for AA here, just in case. I've read all about young women binge-drinking in the newspapers.

  "Yes, you've inherited my legs." What she really means: And that means I'm free to raid your wardrobe safe in the knowledge you will never want to raid mine.

  "You do it your way. Who am I to tell you what to do?" What she really means: I am your mother and I know best.

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Celebrity Lessons   Don't go braless under your black top like Mrs Beckham if you're expecting flash photography at Aunt Jean's birthday bash.

  Bad day at the office? Don't do a Britney and shave your head. A glass of chilled ros is far more soothing and a minor hangovers much less annoying than stubble rash.

  A little bit of bed-head is sexy. But a barnet big enough to house a flock of nesting sparrows is just plain bonkers. Amy Winehouse, take note...

  Making an at-home sex video? It could be downloaded before you can say dumped. No wonder Kendra Wilkinson is having such a tough time lately.

  Having your lover's name tattooed on your arm is risky business (just as Johnny Depp, who had to switch Winona forever to Wino forever). Wear your heart on your sleeve, not a guy's initials.

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
The September Issue   The September 2010 issue of COSMOPOLITAN is bagged with our annual Lingerie supplement – 65 pages of the hottest sets!

  A luxurious five-star weekend for two worth R118 000 is up for grabs in our latest competition.

  Our cover star, Katy Perry, talks candidly about her relationship with Russell Brand.

  We’ve answered 99 relationship questions in 20 words or less.

  We have another Chat Room exclusive: Bonang Matheba spills on who her real-life Superman is...

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Greener Pastures   Yes, crime is scary. Yes, economic and political instability makes us insecure. Yes, lots of people are thinking about emigrating. You don’t have to discuss these subjects at every dinner party. Commit to enjoying time spent with friends without constantly picking at those scabs and you will feel better.

  In the long run you probably won’t regret spending a large chunk of your savings on a fantastic overseas trip. As long as you can afford to survive when you get home, do it.

  In times like these it helps to think that there have always been times like these.

  You might leave this country in search of ‘something better’. You might find ‘something better’ and find that it can never make you happy because it just isn’t home.

  Don’t be so focused on what you don’t have that it spoils what you do have.

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Words from Ms Kurtz   ‘I’m not going to tell you size doesn’t matter. But it matters to some women more than others.’

  ‘There’s only one thing to do about an abusive relationship – leave before it gets worse.’

  ‘The risks of sleeping with the boss greatly outnumber the benefits.’

  ‘Nobody can make choices or mistakes for you – and nobody can learn your lessons but you.’

  ‘I am a firm believer that a cheater can learn to be faithful. However, he won’t change unless he truly wants to.’

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Family Values   You don’t have to be a bad/lazy/miserable person just because your parents made mistakes while raising you. It’s not an excuse.

  You don’t have to become a lawyer just because your parents paid for you to go to an expensive school for a good education. But you do owe them gratitude.

  Your parents raised you but it’s your siblings who shaped you. Continue to learn from them – they’re more like you than you may think.

  Your parents are human: you may discover that they aren’t that strong, they don’t have all the answers … and that you don’t like them very much.

  You don’t choose your family but it’ll still hurt when you lose them. Be nice now or risk regrets later.

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Love & Sex   If you drank too much one Saturday night and did it with a girl, it’s not guaranteed that you are a lesbian. Take your time to decide.

  Chemistry doesn’t usually grow.

  There may come a time when you don’t feel like doing it as much as he does. If you’re in a relationship for the long haul, you’d better like sex with him a lot to get you through the ‘off’ days.

  Men like to be told they’re good (although they might not admit it).

  The most important decision you will ever make is probably who will be the father of your child. Make it carefully. Really, really carefully.

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Work Wise   Career counselling at crucial points in your life could help you avoid making far-reaching mistakes.

  You are never really stressed in a job until you have to juggle demands at work with children, husband, home and ageing parents.

  Work smarter and harder – every extra edge counts in today’s tough economy.

  However much you love your job, don’t let it define you. Having another life is having happiness insurance.

  Come up with a Plan B. Even if you love the job you have, you should stay open to other possibilities. Priorities, interests and circumstances can shift over time, and you don’t want to be trapped.

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
One-Liner Wisdom   ‘Forget your diet and take charge of your life.’

  ‘Few couples can pull off a threesome without destroying the trust in their relationship.’

  ‘Boredom and frustration can be treated but regret is incurable.’

  ‘The sad fact is there are some things we can’t do for other people, no matter how much we love them.’

  Nothing will give a relationship a better start than a shared interest in more than just sex and each other.’

Fri, 06 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Straight Talk   Rather acknowledge halfway through a mistake that you’ve made one than keep at it for the sake of pride.

  Gossiping is fun but can be hurtful and dangerous. For a fix that won’t eat at your conscience, read a tabloid.

  Having the last word is often a hollow victory.

  Complaining is a waste of time unless it’s followed by a search for a solution, then by action.

  It’s not all about you.

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Head Over Heels   Don’t bake him heart-shaped cookies. Chances are he won’t think it’s cute.

  Fight the urge to introduce him to your parents for as long as possible. It’s just better that way. For all concerned.

  You can always call him more than he calls you – but be prepared for the consequences. With men, sometimes it’s safer to stick with clichéd old generalisations when looking for a rule of thumb: there’s a good chance he might be more comfortable in the role of hunter than hunted.

  Don’t change your Facebook or Twitter status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ after one or even three dates. Wait until he refers to you as his girlfriend to refer to yourself in that way.

  When should you have sex? You can have it whenever you want - but know this: the fact that he has sex with you does not mean he fancies you, is in love with you or wants to have a relationship with you. It means he wants sex. ‘Waiting’ won’t guarantee anything either. If you hold off until after, say, four dates, either of you may still decide it won't work in the long term. That’s okay. Sex without love between two consenting adults is not an offence.

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Career Lessons   Don’t suck up to your boss and trample on your colleagues and subordinates. Chances are everyone will see through what you are doing.

  Take time off to travel once you’ve finished your tertiary education. There are many ways you can do this without having a trust fund.

  Work is independence and freedom. These do not become less important as you grow older, but more so. Abandon work ‘because he wants me to stay at home’ and you might regret it. But…

  …an ideal result for the next decade of your life is balance between your need for independence and stimulation, and your family’s need for you. Choose a career that gives you this flexibility.

  Women bosses are no worse than male bosses. You will find good ones and bad ones of each gender.

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:00 +0200
Help For Party-Phobes   Ask the host or hostess whether you can bring a friend. Unless it’s a catered affair, most people won’t mind. But if it is don’t even ask – you’re on your own. Don’t panic, though. COSMO is at your side. Read on.

  Be half an hour late. No more. Half an hour allows enough time for the room to fill up and warm up, and for the party to get going. Later than that is impolite.

  Before you enter the fray, stand back and check out the room. See any friendly, familiar faces? If so, save them for later. Everyone needs a social security blanket for awkward moments – and they will be yours.

  Put your shoulders back and smile. You might believe you look like a spare part – to someone else you might look frosty and unapproachable.

  Looking for someone to chat to? Avoid breaking up a conversation between two people, as they may not welcome the intrusion. However, most people in bigger groups are just making small talk. A group of three is often your best bet – a ‘spare wheel’ could be grateful for someone new to talk to.

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Wealthy Advice   Cut your losses. A rising interest rate means higher instalments, so try to pay off as much debt as fast as possible to avoid getting trapped in it.

  Buy a car you can afford to spend money on. ‘A car is a depreciating asset and it’s important to maintain it and have a full service record to get the best [resale] price,’ says Asman. ‘Always consider the extra costs, not just the instalments, when choosing your vehicle.’

  Your father’s right – invest 10% of your first paycheque and keep doing it.

  In the long run you probably won’t regret spending a large chunk of your savings on a fantastic overseas trip. As long as you can afford to survive when you get home, do it.

  Success is not about wealth. No-one should live just to make money.

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Survival School   Make sure to carry toothpaste and a toothbrush with you at all times. A quick whizz over your teeth is the easiest way to instant confidence if you are otherwise unprepared for unexpected dates or work meetings.

  Every girl needs a great financial adviser, mechanic, plumber and electrician. (If you find one man who is all these things, consider marrying him.)

  Good shoes, a decent haircut and a decent bag will help too.

  Learn how to pick a good, affordable bottle of wine. Rocking up at a party with a papsak is not going to cut it, COSMO girl.

  Have your eyebrows plucked by a professional. You won’t believe the difference.

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Safe Sex   If you feel uncomfortable doing it, it’s not> okay. Simple as that.

  You should always be able to say no.

  It’s far better to hurt a man’s feelings than find yourself in a situation you may regret.

  It’s never too late to say no – but if you say it only on his couch, after a couple of drinks, he may not stop, and it’ll be your word against his that it was rape.

  If you do it without a condom, be prepared to deal with the consequences. You’re a big girl.

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
The August issue of COSMOPOLITAN   Our Assistant Editor, Cathy Lund, interviews funny man Trevor Noah. And discovers he’s not really that funny after all.

  Candice Boucher chats to us on page 98 about that nude shoot for Playboy. Check out our behind-the-scenes coverage of her COSMO cover shoot.

  Get started on your wedding plans with our annual Hitched supplement – it’s 50 pages of how to plan a magical wedding, the COSMO way.

  You could win a dream honeymoon worth R45 000 or a Forever Secret Diamond ring worth R24 999 in our competitions in the Hitched supplement.

  On page 86 we investigate why celebrity sex tapes are here to stay.

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Fashion Forward   When wearing printed tops, keep your lower half simple by wearing a pair of skinny satin pants or dark denims.

  Be brave and mix things from different styles and eras. Break the rules.

  Buy a hot pair of jeans and a sexy trouser suit – now! Both these items are versatile – you can be comfortable in both, dressed up or down.

  If you have skinny legs, avoid very chunky, heavy heels, as they will make your feet look enormous. Rather show off your ankles with elegant heels.

  When it comes to bags, size matters. A lot. Stick to bigger bags during the day, when you have a million things going on, and smaller ones at night, when you just need to stash some cash, your cellphone and lipgloss.

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Money Lessons   Live simply. See the economic climate as a lesson – greed is being punished.

  Control impulse buys. If you see something you absolutely must have, wait a week. Chances are you will have forgotten about it by then. If not and it’s still on the shelf, it’s meant for you.

  Go electronic. ‘Make use of Internet- and telephone-banking facilities,’ says Johannesburg legal adviser Nerissa Bedasee. ‘It costs less than withdrawing and depositing cash, as there’s less admin for the bank.’

  Vegetables can save you cash. Having just three meatless days a week could help shave significant rands off your grocery bill.

  You can still enjoy a girls’ night out without maxing out your credit card. Ask around about ladies’-night discounts and half-price specials at your local hot spots and plan your nights out around them.

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Mandela Day
  First watch this video and understand the importance of Mandela Day.

  Buy a silver, gold or platinum 46664 bangle and help raise R10 million in the fight against HIV/Aids. You can follow the bangle on Twitter.

  Pledge 67 minutes of your time (or more) to helping those less fortunate than you through – they have a list of charities in need of volunteers in South Africa.

  Get your signature World Cup memorabilia in the eBay adidas 46664 auction. While the Jabulani ball from the final game is currently sitting at over £36 000, there are many affordable items that will benefit charities set up in Nelson Mandela’s name.

  If you’re in Cape Town, head to St. George’s Mall and volunteer 67 minutes of your time at the second annual Ubuntu Festival.

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Friends Forever?   If you sleep with dogs, you get fleas. Surround yourself with people of quality.

  So she spilt red wine on your dress. Once. It happens. If she takes advantage often, lets you down habitually, stands you up for a better option … are you sure she’s a friend?

  Drugs make liars, cheats and thieves of users. If a friend is using, don’t be surprised if he/she behaves in these ways.

  If her boyfriend cheats on her and she doesn’t know, tell him that if he doesn’t tell her, you will. Be prepared for whatever the result will be – it is better than having the knowledge and not telling.

  Everyone needs an older, wiser, experienced friend.

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Be Happy-Smiley   It’s virtually impossible to make an unpleasant person behave better, but you do have the power to control your own behaviour. Don’t get caught up in their games.

  Grudges are boring and exhausting.

  Mean people are usually sad.

  You can’t argue with a person who’s not thinking logically. Don’t frustrate yourself by trying. Count to three, walk away…

  Not blaming others is probably a good place to start when trying to solve any problem you will ever face.

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Guy Talk   Men generally don’t like being pursued.

  But if you’re not that into him, let him know now.

  Men generally tell it like it is. Sometimes we just aren’t that keen on hearing it.

  And if he’s into you, you probably know.

  However, if a man makes you a compilation CD, he probably likes you.

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Back To Work   Real success is generally a result of passion. Examine your motives for choosing how you will spend 40 hours a week for the rest of your working life.

  As soon as you take home your first pay cheque, school is over. You owe your employer that much. There is limited time and tolerance for you to learn on the job.

  Play – and work – to your strengths.

  By spending the day on Facebook or You Tube you’re not just neglecting your responsibility to your employer – you’re also wasting time you could be spending getting better at your job and increasing your prospects.

  Don’t write to your boss in SMS-speak. Ever.

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Get Out There   You won’t meet the man, make the friends or get the job offer if you sit at home watching Ugly Betty. You have to put yourself out there.

  Don’t make choices out of fear, greed, bitterness, anger, boredom or the desire for an easy ride. Do make choices motivated by curiosity, desire for stimulation and opportunities.

  Don’t expect your life to change miraculously when you: lose weight, get a boyfriend, earn more money, move to another country…

  We can learn from the past but dwelling on it holds us back. Learn the lesson, then move on.

  You can> do something about loneliness. Get out and go somewhere – anywhere. Get one phone number and start from there.

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Sexy Time   Try something different every now and then.

  Taking photos and making videos is great. Just remember that if he keeps copies, chances are they won’t stay private.

  And try to resist the temptation to send them to his next girlfriend. Yes, perhaps she’ll be jealous of your acrobatic prowess, but is that worth her seeing your orgasm face?

  Some men are better for sex than for relationships. Very rich, very famous, very beautiful men and lead guitarists probably fall into this category.

  Sexy comes in very strange packages. Some of the most attractive men on the planet make lousy lovers. (And vice versa.)

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Wise Words   ‘It’s dangerous and really old-fashioned for women to assume the judgement of our hearts is more reliable than that of our heads.’

  ‘No woman can interest a man more than the one who’s genuinely interested in him.’

  ‘Confident people ask for advice but they take that advice only when it opens their eyes to something they had missed, or when it confirms what they already believed – never if it goes against their feelings.’

  ‘Stop waiting around for his telephone call when he can’t even be bothered to make it.’

  ‘Decide what kind of woman you are and what kind you want to become.’

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Climbing The Ladder   No-one gets anywhere by drifting. Focus, drive and commitment do it – no matter how easy some people make it look.

  Choose a career that will mature with you. You should be able to stay on top of your game until you retire at 60. That’s a long time to be in a rock band…

  Learn a unique skill, whether it’s a foreign language or an up-to-the-minute computer skill. It will help you down the line.

  In every career, there are ways to get ahead that you might not have thought of. Ask how.

  Standing up for yourself is important, but know that the person you’re standing up to may think you’re being disrespectful. There are no guarantees that you won’t regret it.

Tue, 06 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Mind Yours   Sometimes you have to say sorry.

  Smile. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Greet people by name. Good manners will take you far.

  Help others. Soon you could be the person needing it.

  Life can be as unfair as it can be full of surprises: bad behaviour is not necessarily punished, and good behaviour is not necessarily rewarded. Live with it.

  Breaking a nail isn’t such a serious problem. Breaking someone’s heart is. Don’t do it lightly.

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Love Lessons   Sometimes you’ve got to be grateful for what you have instead of pining for what you don’t.

  Beware wild men and fast cars.

  Does an emotionally intimate or sexual relationship with another person online count as cheating? Can your Second Life avatar strip for someone else’s avatar without you feeling guilty? These are questions your mother never needed to worry about – but you and your partner should discuss them and agree on answers.

  You shouldn’t stay with a man just because he has a big bank balance, a big car or a big penis…

  …but you shouldn’t feel bad about leaving if he has a small mind or a small heart.

Fri, 02 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Big Girl Panties   Your body, your integrity, your independence – all these are yours and nobody else’s.

  Think before you shout. Think before you send a vicious e-mail. Think before you hang up the phone or slam a door on someone. That split-second of consideration could spare you years of regret.

  Shit happens. Deal with it smartly. Unburden (within reason) to friends, eat sensibly, exercise and sleep enough. If you still can’t cope, see a pro.

  Nothing is meant to be. It just is. Sometimes you can influence the way things turn out and sometimes you can’t.

  People don’t think about you as often as you think they do, so stop obsessing.

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Try This On   Wool and cashmere are winter essentials. Don’t skimp on quality: buy well and it will wear well.

  If you have big thighs, a full skirt with a clinched-in waist and some hemline detail will attract attention away from them.

  Wearing the same colour from shoulders to shoes makes you look slimmer because the focus isn’t on individual body parts. Choose soft neutral tones, from warm cream to faded rose.

  A long top teamed with a broad, chunky belt looks great if you’re tall – a skinny belt will get lost in the overall look.

  ‘When in doubt, wear red,’ says designer Bill Blass. But not all reds suit everyone. If you look good wearing black or navy, deep red will look fantastic. If you look better in pale blue or peach, try a shade such as watermelon or tomato red.

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Kick Butt   Always trust your intuition.

  Rapists don’t necessarily look like T-Bag from Prison Break. They can also be friendly, helpful, good-looking and well-dressed. Keep your guard up.

  If you are in danger of being raped, scream and fight. The attacker is expecting you to freeze.

  But there’s no way of knowing for sure what the best move is in a particular situation. Don’t beat yourself up afterwards if you think you may have made the wrong choice.

  If you go overseas, use the survival skills you’ve learnt here. Unless you’re in Bogotá or Baghdad, your chances of avoiding crime are pretty good.

Tue, 29 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
The Little Things   Your mother is right – moderation in all things.

  Less really is more. Downscale, declutter and learn to say no!

  Being interesting is all about being interested.

  Do whatever you are dreading the most first thing on a Monday morning.

  Any decision you make that’s motivated by positivity will generally be good.

Mon, 28 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Drawing the Line   Not all women like endless foreplay. Even fewer like it every time.

  Sex is not something to be ashamed of…

  …unless you sleep with your best friend’s boyfriend.

  Sex is also not something you have to be grateful for…

  …even if he is hot.

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
All In The Name Of   ‘Relationships are not born out of love but [out of] need,’ says Johannesburg clinical psychologist Amelia Pearce. ‘Real love is born within relationships from an understanding of what they’re about and doing what is necessary to make them work.’

  Who you are and who you think he wants you to be should be the same person. If they’re not, you’ll always feel like a fraud.

  There’s a reason you’re attracted to your partner and other women will notice it too. Pride, rather than jealousy, is what will stroke his ego the most.

  You can only really expect unconditional love from your parents (or your pets). And you may not even be fortunate enough to have that.

  Sometimes love hurts (a lot). It’s still less painful than never letting yourself love or be loved.

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Get Your July Issue   It's Kelly Rowland's first African COSMO cover.

  You'll receive a free copy of the annual Women on Wheels supplement – by voting for your favourite car of 2010, you could win a Vespa S scooter.

  This month's sealed sex section is the COSMO guide to sexual fantasies: the exhilarating, the XXX-rated and the extreme.

  We reveal the celebs coming clean in an age of extreme digital image manipulation.

  You could win a trip for four to New York worth R100 000!

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Sibling Rivalry   Living in a sibling's shadow just means you're going to remain pasty forever. Get out in the sun and the tan will follow.

  You're stuck with being related to them but you're not stuck with them. Spend time with your family because you love them, not because you have to.

  It's never too late to say sorry to your sibling for calling them fat when they were little.

  And it's not too late to tell them how they hurt you calling you fat.

  Just because she's your sister doesn't mean you don't have to look after her boots when you borrow them.

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Working Girl   Money is only one thing you should get out of your job. You should also be getting knowledge, growth, stimulation and enjoyment.

  But if there’s nothing available that will give you those, don’t use that as an excuse to sit around. Wait tables, work at a video shop, keep looking for opportunities.

  If you’re shy or embarrassed about motivating for a salary increase, pretend you’re arguing for someone else to get a raise. It’ll make it easier to list the reasons you deserve it without feeling as though you’re being boastful.

  Debt or a high cost of living is not your employer’s problem. You should never ask for an increase ‘because I don't have enough money’. Negotiate based on your professional worth.

  Still, your salary should at least keep up with inflation. If it isn’t and your employer can’t (or won’t) keep up, either start looking for another job or accept that you’ll be poorer by next year.

Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
BFFs   A girlfriend is not your shrink or lover. The quickest way to burn out a friendship is to load those expectations onto her.

  Friends tell friends when their lover is cheating, their VPL is showing and their drinking or drugging is endangering them.

  Pay back if you ever borrow money from a friend. If you ever lend money to a friend, consider it a gift.

  Don't give more power to people who hurt you than to those who love and support you.

  You can have friendships of varying intensities – but you shouldn't have friendships based on guilt.

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Irma's Advice   'You're lying every time you can't bring yourself to tell an eager guy you aren't interested in him.'

  'Ex-lovers often end up as good friends, but only after all the passion has died down.'

  'Once you get past the peak of unhappiness, each day will feel a little happier. One day, you'll be free to fall in love again.'

  'I don't believe for a second that we get what we deserve in life or love – but we often get what we think we deserve.'

  'The most important things about the single life is that it gives you a chance to answer some big questions about yourself as an individual. For example, what are your true ambitions? What are your politics? How do you cope with being alone? Knowing these answer is what makes you complete – and ready to share your life with another person.'

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Work On It   Loves means sometimes saying 'I'm sorry' even when you think you shouldn't.

  Mindplay comes before foreplay. Creating the mood is just as important as finding the place and the time.

  Love does not equal telepathy. 'It's important to tell your partner exactly what you need to feel loved, and he needs to tell you, or you'll both end up feeling neglected,' says Johannesburg clinical psychologist Amelia Pearce.

  Long-term relationships are hard work – but if you encounter hard work on the third date it probably shouldn't become a long-term relationship.

  It's important to work on your relationship to make it work, but equally important to recognise if you're just not right for each other.

Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
World Blood Donor Day   Organize a blood drive in your office by contacting the South African National Blood Service.

  Or even start a voluntary blood donor organisation of your own – it’s not as difficult as you think.

  Watch this funny video from last year and then pass it along to friends to remind them that it’s World Blood Donor Day.

  Show your support by recreating, wearing and sharing the Blue Sticking Plaster, the new international symbol for blood donation.

  And then stop by your nearest blood donor clinic to donate blood yourself. It only takes 30 minutes...

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Feel It, It Is Here!   More than 352 soccer boys have landed in SA. We’ve pooled the eight hottest on page 110 of the June issue.

  For 31 days there’ll be none-stop partying (even on week nights) at fan parks and fan festivals in major cities...

  Not to mention the private, VIP parties.

  You can be truly South African without being corny – whether you’ve got mirror flags, the official Bafana jersey or made your own Makaraba.

  When else will you be allowed to blow your vuvuzela in your financial director’s ear during office hours?

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Mirror Mirror   Aim to live as simply as possible. It’s better for you and even better for the planet.

  Live in a house you can afford and drive a cheaper car than you can afford. Pay off your bond as soon as possible.

  Most of the people who make the most valuable contribution to the welfare of the world don’t care about fashion, celebrities or weight.

  Famous, rich, beautiful people are not necessarily happier than you are.

  Perspective. Empathy. Patience. These are three of the most valuable life skills no-one will teach you. DIY.

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Safety First   Always trust your intuition.

  Rapists don’t necessarily look like T-Bag from Prison Break. They can also be friendly, helpful, good-looking and well-dressed. Keep your guard up.

  If an attacker wants your bag, car or laptop, give it up.

  It’s better to offend a good man than to be raped by a bad one. If you feel uncomfortable, walk away. Don’t spare his feelings.

  Make self-defence a habit. Live carefully. Then get on with enjoying your life. Don’t let fear take your right to happiness away from you.

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Bedroom Confidence   Embarrassment has no place in sex. The whole exercise is embarrassing, if you think about it. If you shed your inhibitions along with your clothes, you will instantly become more sexually attractive.

  When you’re in bed with him, he’s not looking at/thinking about/judging your cellulite or muffin top. The body parts he’s interested in are not prone to cellulite.

  There is no perfect number of men to have slept with before you find ‘the one’. Don’t feel guilty if you think you’ve been with ‘too many’.

  It does keep getting better – if you practise with the right guy.

  A little bit of champagne can help you drop your inhibitions and meet a new guy. Drink too much and you will make yourself vulnerable to grave danger.

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Work Horse   Keep emotion as far away from work as possible.

  Don’t whine that you have to work like a dog in your first job/s. You are merely potential and muscle to an employer – you have not yet got much else to offer. Your time will come.

  If you have to work extra hours, work them. But figure out ways for tasks to be done faster and more efficiently and suggest them to your boss. You’ll earn real gratitude – and Brownie points.

  It is never wise to burn bridges. You may walk into a conference room and come face to face with someone you knifed in the back five years ago.

  But it is wise to know your rights and not let them be violated, whether it’s by a colleague who can’t keep his hands to himself or a boss who wants you to do something illegal.

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Weekend Tricks   You don’t have to be in love to have good sex.

  Bigger is not necessarily better … but bigger with great technique is Christmas.

  Your fantasies (no matter how weird) do not necessarily make you weird.

  Enthusiasm is the greatest turn-on for men (although they might not admit it).

  Best treasure tip: ‘To find the G-spot, sit straight up on top!’

Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Love With Your Head   It’s a fact of life that the personality you fall in love with won’t be the same one you end up with. People change but the trick is to grow together instead of trying to change each other.

  ‘Relationships are not born out of love but [out of] need,’ says Johannesburg clinical psychologist Amelia Pearce. ‘Real love is born within relationships from an understanding of what they’re about and doing what is necessary to make them work.’

  Don’t evaluate every man you meet as a potential partner, or you’ll be blind to his flaws. Make lots of friends, go on lots of dates and chances are the needle in the haystack will find you.

  ‘Relationships have negotiables and non-negotiables. Never change that which you’re comfortable with for the sake of another,’ says Cape Town psychologist Tracy Watson.

  Stay independent. You can’t be certain that you’ll never need to look after yourself.

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Food For Thought  If you want to do one thing for your health, stop smoking.

  If you eat mostly junk food and smoke and drink too much, you look worse than you think you do.

  A slice of cake will most likely make it feel better for at least 10 minutes and will cause any long-term damage (unless you’re allergic to cake)…

 …but many slices of cake will have consequences. The only proven formula for losing weight is to eat sensibly and exercise. Simple.

 When you’re in bed with him, he’s not looking at/thinking about/judging your cellulite or muffin top. The body parts he’s interested in are not prone to cellulite.

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Tough Love   Even if he's the love of your life, it's possible that the factors considered unimportant in romantic comedies – disapproving parents, different views on religion, a big age gap, a big financial gap – can end the relationship…

  …but it's also possible that these hardships will make your relationship stronger.

  There isn't just one man out there for you. Your life isn't over – and neither is your love life – just because your best relationship so far has ended.

  There's no such thing as a perfect man but that doesn't mean you should settle for someone who does anything less than make you very, very happy.

  Being scared of losing someone you love won't prepare you for it. If it happens, it'll hurt either way.

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Successful Schmoozing  Practise. Make a point of chatting to everyone you can – waiters, supermarket cashiers, the woman in front of you in a queue.

 Read up. You don't have to be clever to make small talk – just know a few choice pieces of information on a variety of topics. Check the Internet, newspaper, radio or your favourite magazine for tasty morsels to share.

 Pretend. Whether it's talking to yourself in the mirror or feigning confidence on the night, successful small talk requires you to appear self-assured.

 Listen. When in doubt, shut up and listen – you never know when what you hear can provide an 'in' into the conversation. It also makes the other person think you're interested. Remember names and use them often.

 Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. All you have to do is ask.

Mon, 31 May 2010 12:00 +0200
Danger Ahead  While Durban counselling psychologist Michelle Bennett says it's difficult to give exact advice on how to handle individual situations, 'even on a first date, you should feel confident enough to speak up as soon as his driving is upsetting you'. The earlier you comment, the better.

 Keep your comments light, gentle, even humorous. Anyone is likely to rebel against an aggressive or authoritarian approach. (For example: 'I refuse to go in the care with you!') Try: 'Hey, what's the rush?' or 'Do you always drive like this?'

 Tell him how you're feeling, using 'I' language: 'I'm a bit nervous in the car, can we slow down?' Avoid blaming statements ('You're making me feel...') or criticising his personality. ('You're so selfish – you don't think about me').

 Try to reason with him if he's driving recklessly because you've been arguing: 'I know we've had a fight, but please let's try to get there safely and we can discuss things later.'

 Be realistic but firm. If he's drunk or out of control, asking to be dropped at the nearest police station could make him more cooperative. Say you need the bathroom. Ask him to make a stop at a nearby restaurant or hotel. Get out of the car, tell him you'll make your own way home and call a friend of family member for a lift.

Fri, 28 May 2010 12:00 +0200
Life, or Something Like It  A lot of problems solve themselves if you give them a chance.

 Listen to compliments and criticism. Take them seriously, use them if you can, then move on. Neither a big head nor a bag full of complexes is a healthy thing to walk around with.

 You can't make everybody like you, nor should you want to. But if a lot of people don't like you it may be time to consider what you might be doing wrong.

 Be a person you like and a person you can be proud of.

 Self-pity won't help you, and after a while it will annoy those around you. Stop whining.

Thu, 27 May 2010 12:00 +0200
Please Yourself  You can tell a man what to do (for you and to you) in bed.

 There is some good erotica out there that is not exploitative to women. Give it a try.

 If he has sex with you it doesn't mean he's committed to you or owes you anything... except good manners.

 They've made a movie about how terrific The Rabbit (sex toy) is. Try it before you dismiss it.

 Each time you fake an orgasm you're reducing your chances of having a good one next time. If you won't show him what does and doesn't work for you, how will he get it right?

Wed, 26 May 2010 12:00 +0200
Work It  Be indispensable, not irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced then you can't be promoted.

 'Choose a career that you're passionate about rather than just good at,' says Johannesburg career couch Colleen Bloem. A lifetime is a long time to work merely for money.

 'Knowledge alone won't bring you power. It's the relationships you build that will hoist you up the ladder,' says Cape Town industrial psychologist Mandy Carlson.

 'Your career is not your life. Discipline yourself to maintain an appropriate balance between the work you get paid to do and your relationships, leisure and nonwork interests,' says Cape Town career and life coach Graham McCulloch.

 'Adding value to a company is not about working hard but is defined by the impact you make,' says Carlson.

Tue, 25 May 2010 12:00 +0200
Friendship Fissions  Ask yourself what you want. If you want the friendship to recover and you know deep down that the bust-up isn't worth losing each other over, proceed to the next step.

 You might have to be the one to say you're sorry. A heartfelt apology is hard – and sometimes it has to be given as a gift, without expectation of repayment. Apologising is an acknowledgment of culpability and is essential in healing a friendship wound. It may need to come from you.

 Nothing gets better through procrastination. The longer you put off the previous step (a tough one), the less chance there is for a successful reconciliation.

 Using an SMS or e-mail is the coward's way out. This is an occasion for courage and a face-to-face chat. Call your friend, arrange to meet for coffee and start with the apology. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll know you did the right thing. And sometimes, when the outcome isn't what you'd hoped for, knowing you have done 'the right thing' will make you feel a little better.

 Until a friendship is tested it isn't a friendship. No relationship exists in a state of constant harmony and it is the nature of human beings that our imperfections sometimes disappoint, hurt or upset others. When you can accept each other's faults and still love each other, you can call yourselves true friends.

Mon, 24 May 2010 12:00 +0200
Love Notes  It's a fact that the personality you fall in love with won't be the same one you end up with. People change. The trick is to grow together instead of trying to change each other.

 Don't evaluate every man you meet as a potential partner, or you'll be blind to his flaws. Make lots of friends, go on lots of dates and chances are the needle in the haystack will find you.

 Love does not equal telepathy. 'It's important to tell your partner exactly what you need to feel loved and he needs to tell you, or you'll both end up feeling neglected', says clinical psychologist Amelia Pearce.

 There's a reason you're attracted to your partner and other women will notice it too. Pride, rather than jealousy, is what will stroke his ego most.

 Sometimes you've got to be grateful for what you have instead of pining for what you don't.

Fri, 21 May 2010 12:00 +0200
Girl Meets Boy  Men are allowed to change their minds. If he disappears after a couple of dates, you are not repulsive and he is not a bastard. You just weren't the one that he wanted.

 Fight the urge to introduce him to your parents for as long as possible. It's just better that way.

 Be careful if you're merely feeling horny but you suspect sex would mean more to him. It's not only women who are looking for commitment. You could end up hurting him.

 You can always call him more than he calls you – but be prepared for the consequences. With men, sometimes it's safer to stick with clichéd old generalisations when looking for a rule of thumb: there's a good chance he might be more comfortable in the role of hunter than hunted.

 Do I need to remind you that he doesn't need to know every autobiographical detail within the first few dates? Yes? Then consider yourself reminded. ]]>
Wed, 19 May 2010 12:00 +0200