Jozi Nights - The New Boy In My Life

There are girls who like boys and then there are girls, like me, who absolutely love boys. This love affair with inkwenkwes began at birth, with my father. To date he's the best boy I know; always reliable and generous, he calls daily, has been known to randomly deposit money in my account and loves me unconditionally.

When I was 12-years-old, my luck changed. My heart didn't just belong to one anymore. The boys have been plenty but some of my experiences have been nothing short of dodgy. Never one to be deterred by obstacles, I've dated all kinds of boys and am now armed with more experience, including a starter marriage.

This love for boys grew the most when two days after my 26th birthday another one entered my life. Unlike previous boys, he came into the relationship in tears. But I loved it. All I wanted to do was protect him. He was beautiful and had that moody, artist vibe about him. He didn't say very much – actually he said nothing at all, but I was smitten, already planning our future together.

When I was told the two of us could spend a weekend together, just the two of us, I was so happy and was envisioning a weekend of cooing and cuddling. So I left my house, armed with comfortable but cute clothing, a good attitude and butterflies in my stomach.

The first few hours we delightful, I looked into his eyes and he gazed back at me. He would smile at me and my heart would melt. He smelled so good I just wanted to hold him tighter. It was a lot like a cheesy, romantic comedy. As the weekend progressed my new boy proved to be a lot like my exes. He demanded my attention and couldn't stand it when I was doing something else. He woke me up for no good reason at night, wanted to be fed at odd hours and was constantly trying to grope my breasts. He even pulled an R. Kelly move – he peed on me, more than once. I'd always told myself that golden showers were a no-go area for me, but with this boy my morals went out the window.

The experience reminded me that watching too much TV will delude even the smartest women about what life really is about. I, for the first time, understood why some women leave the house looking like they'd just rolled out of bed – and not in the sexy, TV ad kind of way. I even found it in myself to not judge women with chipped nail polish.

It turns out motherhood is no joke. My baby sister's new baby boy, 7-week-old Bo, reminded me why I love boys, but he also reminded me why the ones I prefer are house trained, potty trained and able to do more than cry. Am I still in love with boys? Yes, more than ever. But I was happy to leave Bo with my sister again and head home to my other older one, the boyfriend. Although he's not perfect (who is), he speaks and has been known to cook the odd meal. But most importantly, he knows better than to ever think about peeing on me.

Author: Zama Nkosi